We've all heard the statement "it gets better with time". But does it? And what if it doesn't, are we all then left feeling broken/damaged like something is wrong with us because time didn't heal us the way they said it would. Even taking that statement and rephrasing it to "it doesn't get better it just gets easier". But again, I say, does it? I think we all try so hard to fix things when they feel broken or sad, and we want so badly to find a solution to grief and hurt, but the truth is shitty things just happen. Pain doesn't happen to us, it just happens and the only thing we can do about it is accept it. Stop making it feel unwelcomed, like it doesn't belong, like its bad, stop being afraid of it, stop feeling guilty about it and stop making it a shameful experience. Because by doing all of that, what you are really doing to yourself is making yourself feel unwelcomed, bad, and shameful. Your grief doesn't have feelings. Your grief isn't a thing. But you are. And how you experience your grief/loss is the only thing you have control over. You cannot make it go away, you cannot prevent it from happening, this is not a scrape on the knee that will heal in a few days with some polysporin and bandaids people, this is real trauma. Learning how to honour it, accept it, welcome it, hold it, stroke it's freakin' hair and hold it's hand is the only way you can truly heal with it.