In Between Breaths

No matter how much work you think you've done on yourself family can always bring out the cracks and the insecurities. The holidays are fast approaching and most of us will be spending time with our families. I wanted to record some more material that really hit home. Excuse the pun. I wanted to do more covering the ways we relate and communicate to our families.  

I recorded this episode over 6 nights... while spending a week with my family over Thanksgiving. I was sleeping in the kids playroom on the floor. Each night, I tried to talk about what happened, what I dealt with and what I was really feeling. I even talk about how I was feeling physically. Yes there was some stress, miscommunication, fighting and even expected revelations. Who knows, this may even help you prepare for the things you might feel when visiting your family. 

Alana shares her story about being physically and emotionally abused by her boyfriend/finance. I'm ready to talk about this and normalize this conversation she tells Scott. I'm not going to hide from it. I want people to know there is something on the other side that is hopeful and good. This experience and all that I've learned from it is something I can use for good. 

Alana talks about who this person was to her, the impact he had on her life, what is was like to be her father, how it felt to explain this to the police and who she is today because of it.

Dating violence of any kind isn’t something to be ashamed of and it’s not something you have to face alone. There are so many resources for you to safely and privately get the help or information you need. The National coalition against Domestic Violence can be found at http://ncadv.org or call 303-839-1852. You are worthy.

Are you someone who follows the crowd? You want to have a great career, get engaged, get married have 2.5 kids and a white picket fence and a dog? Or are you the type of person who makes different choices. You make choices outside the norm, maybe not because you are trying to be different, but because you feel differently about making these choices. Maybe you literally can't bring yourself to be "normal". In either case this episode is for you. This time we are chatting about some of unconventional we've made in life and why they are valuable and how unconventional choices go mainstream. Send us your unconventional choices and we'll read them on an upcoming podcast! 

Instead of boundaries we sometimes build walls. It doesn't have to be that way... The thing is, we can build healthy boundaries without pushing others away in most instances. We aren't talking about instances of abuse. We for most part talking about people that actually love and care about you. In those instances, there's no need to build a wall. There is however a great need to notice, be aware and communicate how you want love to enter your life. We also find out what's still displayed in Scott's childhood bedroom and what Alana thinks about dirt bike racing. 

We all have things we use to deal with trauma, uncomfortable feelings, change and stress whether we know it or not. The question is, are these coping mechanisms healthy? What is a healthy coping mechanism? In this episode we take a look at what coping mechanisms are healthy and what is unhealthy. We all need strategies... We'll talk all about positive strategies like self care, asking for support, humor and also negative ones like getting revenge on your ex. Start being conscious with what you use to deal with the pain or look at what you can do make your strategies healthier. 

Feeling a little more confident after recording the first podcast and seeing how freeing it was for Scott to really open up and share his feelings Alana decided to put everything out in the open. This was the first time she had discussed the breakup and her feelings and thoughts in such depth since it happened. 

Scott gets to experience the story almost completely for the first time himself and is kept on the edge of his seat. This was not your standard relationship with a lot of twists and turns and even an unplanned pregnancy along the way. Although the journey was long and painful it brought new insight and a renewed sense of self worth. Now Alana is deciding that she may finally be ready to start dating again. 

Today is the day we decided to start our podcast about relationships. Today is also the day that Scott’s breakup has become final.  His partner of over 14 years, the so called love of his life decided to move on and actually moved out that morning. Scott wasn’t sure he wanted to show up for the podcast... the next thought was .... this podcast is going to be so beautifully raw and honest and MESSY.   

We are still in the midst of the pandemic and he is feeling everything you tend to feel during a break up. He's also dealing with the isolation.  Thank God he has his cousin and our audience to talk through everything he is feeling. We should mention Scott and Alana are really starting to talk and get to know each other in real way for the first time in their lives.