Do you say yes when you mean no? Do you hold back your work until it feels perfect, even though it never does? People pleasing and perfectionism might feel like two different problems but they come from the exact same place: fear. 

In this episode of In Confidence, Lisa sits down with bestselling author of Unlearning Silence, TEDx speaker, and former Harvard Law School lecturer Elaine Lin Hering to unpack where these patterns come from, why they are so hard to break, and what to actually do about them.

In this episode you will learn:  

You have been solving for everyone else. It is time to put yourself back in the equation.

⁠Download our free PDF guide⁠ to stop being a people pleaser and perfectionist.

⁠Learn more from Elaine Lin Hering⁠

⁠Buy Elaine's Book, Unlearning Silence⁠

00:00 Intro

03:37 The Real Cost of People Pleasing

06:16 Why Perfectionism Keeps You Stuck

10:54 Meet Elaine Lin Hering

17:50 How to Stop Being a People Pleaser and a Perfectionist

21:59 The Difference Between Collaboration and People Pleasing

23:21 Ask Yourself These Two Questions

26:40 Own Your Perspective 

29:10 Measure Your Own Success

32:29 Try a Low-Risk Experiment

34:27 Lisa's Power Move and Shoutout

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Have you ever felt trusted to get the work done but never included in the decisions that shape it? Or discovered that someone at work has been talking behind your back and had no idea what to do next? Before this season launched, Lisa asked you to send in your real work problems. Now she is answering them directly.

In Part 2 of the Work Problems series, Lisa tackles two of the most personal challenges you sent in, drawing on hard earned lessons from her own career and a book she is currently writing on trust and betrayal. In this episode you will learn:

If you missed Part 1, Lisa covered being excluded from meetings and navigating a power struggle at work. Go back and listen.

For more tools on navigating power struggles and exclusion at work, download our free PDF guide at GravitasNewYork.com

00:00 Intro 

01:26 Q1 - Trusted to Execute, But Left Out of Strategy 

09:37 Q2 - When Someone at Work Is Talking Behind Your Back 

17:15 Lisa's Power Move and Shoutout 

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Have you ever been left out of meetings you needed to be in, or found yourself caught in a power struggle that was making your work life harder than it should be? 

Before this season launched, Lisa asked you to send in your real work problems. Now she is answering them directly with proven frameworks, hard earned lessons, and a personal story she has carried for twenty years. In this episode you will learn:

How to get looped into meetings and information without putting anyone on the defensive

The exact script to use when you are being left out of conversations you need

Why power struggles are almost never about power and what they are really about

How to stay grounded and protect your output when a power struggle is happening around you

Part 2 drops Friday. Lisa tackles how to get seen as a strategic leader when you are stuck in execution mode, and what to do when someone at work breaks your trust.

For more tools on navigating power struggles and exclusion at work, download our free PDF guide at GravitasNewYork.com

00:00 Intro 

01:26 Q1 - Being Left Out of Information or Meetings 

07:29 Q2 - Navigating a Power Struggle 

08:17 When You're In the Power Struggle 

16:43 When the Power Struggle Is Happening Around You

19:27 Lisa's Power Move and Shoutout 

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Staying quiet in meetings feels comfortable, but we live in a world where the people speaking up are the ones moving up. In this episode, Lisa and Naeemah give you the tools to finally speak up with confidence.

Naeemah Elias is a speaker, leadership coach, and founder of Elias Presence Ventures who spent over a decade climbing the corporate ladder before teaching others the secrets she learned along the way. In this episode you will learn:

You have always had something worth saying. Now you have the tools to say it.

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Have you ever messed up at work? Or even worse, it involves someone more senior than you? Before you spiral, over-apologize, or try to disappear and hope it goes away, Lisa is breaking down exactly what to do next.

In this solo episode of In Confidence, Lisa shares her three-phase plan for recovering from a mistake at work. You'll learn:

If you have ever made a mistake at work and don't know what to do next, consider this your recovery plan.

Download Our Free PDF: ⁠The 3-Phase Plan When You Make a Mistake at Work⁠

00:00 Intro

01:29 The Problem: I Made a Mistake at Work

04:09 Phase 1: Internal Regulation

06:08 Phase 2: Address It Quickly

08:37 Phase 3: Put a Plan in Place

11:03 Final Thoughts

12:04 Lisa's Power Move and Shoutout

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Have you ever stayed quiet in a meeting because you were worried about how your pushback would land? Or stayed silent about something you deserved because you did not want to rock the boat? That fear of being labeled difficult is costing you more than you think.

In this episode of In Confidence, Lisa sits down with HR expert, four-time TEDx speaker, and author Dethra Giles to solve one of the most requested challenges from our community: how to ask for more at work without sounding difficult.

Dethra shares her D.A.R.E. model, a four-step framework for conversational intelligence that works whether you are making a big ask, disagreeing in a meeting, or negotiating your way through a no. In this episode you will learn:

Why capable, accomplished people shrink instead of speak up

How to push back and disagree at work without blowing up the relationship

Why no is not the end of the conversation, it is the start of a negotiation

How to ask for a promotion, a project, or an opportunity by leading with value

The one thing you should build right now to ask for anything with confidence

If self-advocacy, workplace communication, and conflict management are areas you are working on, this episode will change how you show up tomorrow.

Download our free PDF: How to Ask for Anything Without Sounding Difficult

Learn more from Dethra Giles: https://www.dethragiles.org/

Get That's Not What I Said: https://www.dethragiles.org/book-me

00:00 Intro

02:04 Meet Dethra Giles

07:39 How to Ask for Something Without Sounding Difficult

11:09 Dethra's D.A.R.E. Model

12:07 How to Push Back Without Starting an Argument

13:07 Live D.A.R.E Walkthrough

18:47 How to Ask for Something Without Sounding Entitled

25:23 When You Hear No

28:15 Three Things to do Tomorrow

31:34 Lisa's Power Move and Shoutout

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You raised your hand. You did the work. You were ready. And somehow, you got passed over for the opportunity.

In this episode, we're tackling one of the most searched questions in professional development: how do I stop being overlooked at work? Lisa is joined by Jessica Chen, Emmy Award-winning journalist, Columbia University instructor, and bestselling author of "Smart Not Loud: How to Get Noticed at Work for All the Right Reasons." Jessica has taught over 2 million people how to communicate with confidence and build visibility at work, and she breaks it all down into five things you can start doing today. You'll learn:

When you stop being overlooked, you stop waiting. You start getting the opportunities, the recognition, and the career you've been building toward.

Download our free guide: 5 Ways to Stop Being Overlooked at Work

Learn more from Jessica Chen: https://jessicachenpage.com/

Get Smart Not Loud: https://smartnotloudbook.com/

00:00 Intro

01:37 Meet Jessica Chen

09:05 The Power of Staying Top of Mind

14:20 A Communication Skill You Need to Start Thinking About

16:16 How to Build Visibility at Work 

18:11 Make Your Work Impossible to Ignore

20:40 Create a YAY Folder

22:20 Why Consistency is Key

23:32 Final Thoughts

28:17 Lisa's Power Move and Shoutout

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What if grief and joy could exist at the same time? What if rebuilding your life wasn’t about “moving on,” but about making meaning out of what happened?

Kelly Cervantes, author of The Luckiest and Normal Broken, joins us for a deeply human conversation about loss, identity, and resilience. In this episode of In Confidence, Kelly and Lisa unpack how to live with grief without letting it define you, how to release outdated goals, and how to rebuild a life that reflects who you are now.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

What to say when someone is grieving, and why saying their name matters more than you think

How to let go of old identities and goals without shame

Why growth often requires redefining success instead of chasing permanence

This week’s micro-moment, Rewire a Fail: how to review setbacks with compassion and turn them into learning

Whether you’re grieving, changing direction, or quietly wondering who you are becoming, remember that change is not a failure. It’s part of how we grow.

Get your copy of The Luckiest

00:00 Intro

00:51 Meet Kelly Cervantes

06:32 What to Say to Someone Grieving 

11:09 The Luckiest

25:00 Your Dreams and Goals Can Change

29:00 Joy and Grief

36:00 Micro-Moment #10: Rewire a Fail

39:02 Outro

40:40 Disclaimer 

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Welcome to Season 3, the Last Quarter Challenge. Think of it as a training plan for your confidence with weekly micro-moments that ladder up so you enter 2026 stronger than ever.

Our final micro-moment is Rewire a Fail. Setbacks are inevitable. What determines your confidence is not whether you fail, but how your brain processes the failure afterward. When something does not go as planned, your mind can default to shame and rumination. Rewiring a fail means separating who you are from what happened and turning disappointment into learning and forward motion.

Try it today. Rewind the moment without judgment. Name what happened using only the facts, identify what you learned, and notice the strengths that showed up along the way. This simple reframe quiets fear, restores perspective, and helps you recover faster.

00:00 Intro

00:27 Micro-Moment #10: Rewire a Fail

01:53 The Science of Rewiring a Fail

07:38 How to Practice This Challenge

10:39 Why It's Helpful

11:41 Outro

12:52 Disclaimer

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What if success wasn’t a scorecard, but a sense of connection? What if the most powerful thing you could do this week was to stop treating life like a zero-sum game?

Ruchika T. Malhotra, author of Uncompete and Inclusion on Purpose, joins us for a conversation about redefining success, rejecting scarcity thinking, and building a life rooted in community.

In this episode of In Confidence, Ruchika and Lisa unpack how to reject competition and the five principles of Uncompete that make confidence feel steadier and more sustainable.

What you'll learn in this episode:

If you’re tired of measuring, comparing, and chasing someone else’s definition of winning, this is your permission slip to choose a different path.

Get Your Copy of ⁠Uncompete⁠ 

00:00 Intro

01:36 Meet Ruchika T. Malhotra

10:12 Uncompete and Rejecting Competition

18:30 The 5 Principles of Uncompete

37:12 Micro-Moment #9 Worst, Best, Most Likely

41:51 Give Someone Else Their Flowers Today

44:41 Outro

46:20 Disclaimer

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