Have you answered the question from last episode - what ratio of who you are is of your own design? Think about it as you listen to J reform her identity in her 30s. She gives us lots of golden nugget resources and tools for anyone - cult or no cult - to learn how to love and empower ourselves. Now...for the escape!

SHOW NOTES
Workshops on Relational Power
Take the Risk by Ben Carson
Article on recognizing signs of incomplete grief
More about J and her escape - Tomorrow’s Not Promised  at www.jessieshedden.com/book

‘Worldlies’ is what the cult calls those who live on the outside. Never feeling like she fit in, and unable to express herself, J erased her identity to survive into her 30s. In Part I, we get into her self-talk, how she developed a fear of being the other woman in her relationships and what it took to finally escape. Having no idea how to live apart from the cult, J’s ability to develop her adult self with empathy and compassion is astounding.

[Part II drops next Tuesday]

Show Notes
To learn more about J, find her book Tomorrow's Not Promised

Did you know that empathy is a learnable communication skill? It's not a personality trait - something we either have in spades or are void of. To understand and practice meaningful [actionable] empathy, some fog must be lifted. Definitions, semantics and misperceptions of the word have caused confusion and I clear them up today. With a few foundational pieces in place, you'll soon see that empathy isn't only about feelings. It's a powerful compassion tool that you can wield for yourself and others with a little training and practice [even seasoned empaths need practice, daily].

You may be surprised at the many ways you can take empathy from micro to macro, right now. Insanely worth it. Enjoy!

SHOW NOTES
Psychology Today Article Empathy v Sympathy (this isn't the correct definition of empathy!) 

What would happen if we abandoned the pursuit of happiness, in favor of joy? How are they so different?  Artist, author and death row inmate George first came on the show to let go of perfectionism, but we pivoted in the last 60 seconds of our call when he said, "I'm happier now than I've ever been in my life." I asked for elaboration, and received an impassioned essay two weeks in the making titled, The Joy Paradox. In this interview we highlight a few of the aha's, illuminating self and other empathy in new ways. I'm honored to bring you the first printing of this publication - find it in the transcript. Can't think of a better way to begin a season of gratitude than with George's story.

SHOW NOTES
*** The Joy Paradox is published in full in the transcript
Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha, Tara Brach
A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose, Eckhart Tolle
Being Peace, Thich Nhat Hanh

Do you recognize when you talk to yourself? If I asked you in a crowded room to raise your hand if you believe you are empathic... would you hesitate? This episode is about the relationship between how you talk to yourself and your capacity for empathy [hint: they are mates for life], and how to get better at both. Nobody is born empathic and we certainly aren't taught to speak to ourselves with loving kindness. But these are learnable communication skills just like any other. When you develop a practice to nurture this partnership, the result is astounding inner peace, joy, patience and a feeling of spaciousness that's hard to describe without experiencing it. Want in on some of that? Take a listen.

PS: This episode is dedicated to my coach Stephanie Marino, who manages the task of molding and shaping my self-talk and empathy with infinite ease and grace

SHOW NOTES

• Dr. Shad Helmstetter, leading Self-Talk expert
• Learned Helplessness
• Stephanie Marino Coaching

Perfect timing for this episode. Kate is a deep thinker and a spiritual light. But this was hard-won. Her paranormal encounter was invalidated, and having her truth dismissed became a theme in her life - one that landed her three months in a psych hospital, death threats from angry blog followers, and ultimately her path to a new life as a spiritual healer. If you've been misunderstood (who hasn't?) there's a lot to learn from Kate. And don't miss the intro to shadow work towards the end - I'll be doing her burning ritual on Halloween night. Join me and tell me about it! 

SHOW NOTES

• Jack Kornfield Loving Kindness Meditation https://jackkornfield.com/loving-kindness-meditation/
• Tara Brach Letting Go of Anger Meditation The Parable of the Prickly Porcupine https://insighttimer.com/blog/how-to-let-go-of-anger-through-mindfulness/
• Body scan to let go of resentment https://insighttimer.com/mindfulact/guided-meditations/letting-go-of-resentment-and-its-pain
• Carl Jung Book - Shadow https://www.simplypsychology.org/carl-jung.html
• Shadow Work practitioner guide https://scottjeffrey.com/shadow-work/
• Kali mantra https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUMGhUi1ETw
• Full Moon Burning Ritual https://eugeniarosa.com/blog/forgivenessbytheglowofthefullmoon
• Ho'oponopono forgiveness mantra https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGd1F6QoHsw
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqrssdH6ET4
• Non-violent communication technique https://www.nonviolentcommunication.com/learn-nonviolent-communication/4-part-nvc
• Kate's Spiritual Healing Practice 

Calling out comparison today and exposing it for what it is - an energy-stealing force that has no seat at the empathy table. It’s a Harry Potter boggart-style beast that's fond of bursting out and putting us face to face with our greatest fears. On my path to formalize the construct into a book, I thought it would be useful for you to learn along with me. We ALL spar with comparison but there are ways to wrangle it back into the trunk. This is part one of an ongoing series - much to unpack. Join me to learn some tactics to help you win the fight.

Minnie grew up in what she calls a hostile environment, with narcissistic parents incapable of creating a safe or nurturing home. She spent years longing for her mother to take care of her, instead of the other way around. Along the way she learned many techniques to retain her self-worth and to live a happy life. This episode is intensely painful, and a reminder that we are born with an equal chance to have our basic needs met - safety, shelter, love. When one or more is compromised, it’s an uphill battle to establish peace and positivity. What will you learn from Minnie?

SHOW NOTES

The Art of Loving, Eric Fromm

Havening, Paul McKenna: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09IDxrXAi2s

Bessel VanDer Kolk (On Being podcast episode, How Trauma Lodges in the Body) 

Calming your vagus nerve 

Heart rate variability monitoring 

Post-traumatic Growth 

Minnie’s podcast - it’s about empowerment! https://the-road-to-empowerment.captivate.fm/listen

Do you know what your hidden wisdom is? Most of us don't. Jeremy is a self-described introverted communicator. Although he's built and sold several businesses, he works with major anxiety around public speaking and being a strong communicator even among peers in the entrepreneurial world. By leaning into his fears and edges, he found a way not only to work on these skills, but to do it while maintaining his soft spoken personality. He didn't become someone else in the process. Instead, he found what he calls hidden wisdom - the special offering we all possess - and kept sharing it until fear turned into fulfillment. Finding yours can be tricky. Jeremy gives us a concise recipe on where to start looking, and how to give it to others. Sharing our gifts is one of the greatest forms of self/other empathy. That's where the growth is!

SHOW NOTES
Find a Toastmasters Club https://www.toastmasters.org
Jeremy’s Influencer Podcast! https://whyinfluence.com

Have you ever stopped to listen to the things you say to yourself? Out loud or in our heads, we hear thousands of messages a day and sadly - most of them are hurtful and keep us stuck in our limiting beliefs. Self-talk is one of the main topics on In Kind, and changing it is one of the most powerful things you can do to improve your life. Today you can learn from Dr. Shad, the leading author on self-talk. There are some serious a-ha's in this one. Enjoy and tweet me what you're trying @julieinkind!

SHOW NOTES
Find Dr. Shad (all of the books, self-talk streaming, coaching, resources)
Listen to Self-Talk free for 30 days

Books
What to Say When You Talk to Yourself
Negative Self-Talk and How to Change It
Self-Talk for Self Esteem