Most of our lives, we have trained in should.

Many of us may have even become masters of should.

But how many of us are willing to question should, to challenge should, to venture out somewhere beyond should?

How many of us are willing to disappoint another in order to be true to ourselves?

How many of us are willing to risk being authentic?

In this epic episode, Kris and Lila (formerly Monica) delve into the shadowy habitat of should: how it feels, the effects it has on our lives, and what we can do to reclaim our power—to live the life that we choose.

Notable Quotes

“Should is the blockage of the life force that we were talking about when we were talking about living in our own way.” -Kris

“When we question the shoulds, it points us directly to our wants. What do we want? And I think that we get so buried in our shoulds that that’s what we lose track of. That’s what’s lost if we focus too much on should.” -Kris

“You can either live the life that you wanna live or you can do what you should do.” -Lila

Mentioned & Recommended

Articles

Elle Luna: The Crossroads of Should and Must

Videos

History of Swearwords (Netflix)

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inourownway.substack.com

Living in our own way.

Whewww, that’s a big topic!

Where to even begin?

Kris begins with a craving:

“To engage with life as myself.”

In this episode, we go deep about what living in our own way means to us personally, tracing the arc of Kris’ “life on my terms” evolution.

Notable Quotes

“What many years and some wisdom has taught me is that living on my own terms is actually a result, not an action.” -Kris

“I think it’s very important for us as human beings to express our life force as cleanly as we can. And I think suffering comes almost exclusively from not being able to do that.” -Kris

“We have to, at some point, choose ourselves.” -Lila (Monica)

“We’ve handed our power over in a lot of ways to other people. And part of that is because having power requires a lot of personal accountability. I have been hesitant to hold myself accountable for the outcomes of my own life. And if I can always blame society and blame the rules and blame other people, then I don’t have to take responsibility for the fact that I’m the one that never grabbed the reins of my own life and fuckin’ lived it.” -Kris

Mentioned & Recommended

Books

A Life of Meaning by James Hollis

The Top Five Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware

Videos

Robert Kegan: The Evolution of the Self

Søren Kierkegaard: How to Overcome Anxiety and Become Your True Self

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inourownway.substack.com

Have you ever wished you could get into journaling, or be more consistent with it?

Writing is one of the most powerful, accessible ways to deepen our relationship with ourselves, access our inner wisdom, and process our emotions.

It can help us get unstuck, get a fresh perspective, and get clear on our truth.

Kris has always longed to find her own rhythm with journaling; Monica is a lifelong journaler. Join us as we explore the power of journaling: why it matters, how to do it your own way, and tips for getting the most out of it.

Mentioned & Recommended

Books

The Book of Alchemy by Suleika Jaouad

The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron

Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg

Wild Mind by Natalie Goldberg

Writing With Power by Peter Elbow

Articles

James Pennebaker, PhD - “Expressive writing can help your mental health”

Monica’s Go-To Notebooks

Top Flight

Kroger

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inourownway.substack.com

Starting a podcast is a choice.

It doesn’t happen by accident. It happens because you choose to do it.

So, why did we choose this?

Why the hell did we start a podcast?

Hi, we’re Monica and Kris.

We met online in 2022 through a 30-day writing challenge.

Drawn to each other’s messages, we slowly began to connect through liking and commenting on each other’s essays.

Finally, one of us wrote a daringly authentic comment that the other one instantly responded to with “Let’s meet up!” and we’ve been deep conversation buddies ever since.

Three years and many a deep conversation later, we’ve decided it’s time.

It’s time to share our conversations on a bigger stage.

It’s time to “extend the container of our friendship,” as Monica says in this first episode—to you.

We want to invite you on this journey with us.

What journey is that, you ask?

We call it the journey of becoming ourselves, of discovering and expressing our authenticity, of daring to use our voices and to be seen.

We call it living In Our Own Way.

Wanna know what that means to us?

Great! So do we.

That’s why we started this podcast. 😋

We hope you join us, and enjoy the ride!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inourownway.substack.com