You know what I love about this episode? Alexa is both approachable and relatable, even though I've never met anyone like her. She didn't lean into any negative spirals or bury AA, but redirected me to the fruits of sobriety and the many resources that can get all of us there. 

I left the interview feeling a bit lighter, and after editing this episode I felt this unfamiliar sense: optimism. Alexa gave occasional sound bites about her AA experience, but she offered so much more… quitlit, Smart Recovery, motorcycles, clowns, research-based evidence. It was clear in speaking with her that she is so much more than alcohol dependency, which is now eight years behind her. And she knows that. She's got the research, the facts, and the science to back it. 

Talking with Alexa was a sound reminder that we are not our mistakes, as cliché as it sounds, and the best thing you can do is try to get sober, because what's the worst that could happen?

Take Alexa’s guest appearance as a gift, because it truly is. 

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I went into this conversation expecting Leanne to tear Alcoholics Anonymous apart. She's sharp, she's got a loud online presence, and I figured she'd bring the same energy to talking about the program. Nope—she surprised me. This is one of the most positive AA discussions I've had on the show.

Leanne got sober in British Columbia during the pandemic lockdown, working through substance abuse and eventually transitioning at the time. She credits her sponsor, Ira, almost entirely for how well things went. She deliberately chose him because she didn't like him on the theory that she wouldn't be tempted to lie to someone she was trying to impress. His mix of native spirituality, blunt honesty, and refusal to get pulled into group politics shaped how she thinks about recovery to this day.

But her story isn't without its complications. She talks openly about the strange loneliness of being thirteen-stepped, about clients from her sex work turning up sober and pretending they didn't know her, and about carrying other people's secrets in a small-town fellowship. She also talks about starting a rainbow group after being denied the opportunity to volunteer at a women's rehab, and how that fight ultimately opened the door for other members.

What struck me most is how different her relationship to AA's culture of deference was. She never felt scared to set a boundary or call something out, and people mostly just left her alone about it. That's not a luxury everyone gets in these rooms, but Leanne seemed to withstand it.

She's not sober by AA's strict definition, and she's honest about that. Her sound advice: whatever your recovery looks like, the only thing that actually works is telling the truth, to yourself first.

Also, you can check out Ottawa's police chief telling officers to stop finding women's numbers in the database HERE. 

Remember to listen and follow! 

Have a question or story you want to share? Email me at [email protected], and I might read it on the show!

Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) clash because the peer-led, moral-inventory framework of AA can accidentally trigger or feed OCD cycles rather than treat the underlying anxiety. The rigid, dogmatic rules of 12-step programs often morph into new compulsions for someone with untreated OCD. Excessive rumination on program literature, rigidly counting meeting attendance, or repeating steps are parallel with classic OCD ritualistic loops. AA's focus on profound personal inventory and powerlessness can exacerbate the severe guilt, scrupulosity, and self-blame inherent in OCD.

Enter Darcie, a woman with a long history of OCD, whose alcoholism entered more recently. Meeting attendance and feedback loops made her head spin. The oversaturated discussion of drinking made her think more about drinking and less about a "white light." Between that, a traumatic brain injury, and interpreting life after gastric bypass surgery, she's had to piece together her past and understand her biology faster than lightning. And she's doing it.

I'm doubling up this week with a surprise Big Book reading. The Doctor's Opinion...a great PR resource, a terrible step for medical science. In 1938, on the heels of the Big Book release, Bill W. asked Dr. William D Silkworth—his drunk hospital doctor—to write a letter of recommendation for Alcoholics Anonymous. He happily did, as he was happy with Alcoholics Anonymous's impact on chronic alcoholism. He wrote that a power greater than oneself was his medically educated advice to recovery. His name was not published in the first edition, as he didn't want American medicine boards to see his writing and lose faith in his expertise. But his name was published in the second edition in 1955—four years after Silkworth's death. 

This week, I have a very special guest from all the way down in Phoenix, Arizona—David Riu! He talks about his childhood in a Christian cult, struggling with opiate dependency and homelessness, recovering from substance abuse disorder, getting trapped in the "soft cult" of AA, and leaving the program. He teaches me about harm reduction, Recovery Dharma, SMART recovery, and treatments to overcome drug dependency. He also reflects on witnessing and experiencing 13 steppers, religious coercion, and how the empathy buzz is something powerful.

If you haven't listened to any episodes, I highly encourage you to start here.

Heather, a mental health counselor and former AA member, joins the podcast to provide her lived experience in 12 Step meetings. She goes over the very unwelcome, unsolicited advice from sponsors, dealing with 13-steppers, and how she slowly exited the program. Spoiler: The Orange Papers came into Heather's world, and it got her thinking. We also discuss the spectrum of substance abuse disorder; how some members need to abstain for a temporary period of time, while others require long-term abstinence. Trigger warning: we also discuss abusers and how meetings enable their behaviors instead of reprimanding them. Heather also shares her lifelong struggle with an eating disorder, which she healed from, along with trauma, after seeking treatment post-AA. Heather is introspective, wise, and provides educated insights on this topic. You won't want to miss it.  Show notes available at https://www.patreon.com/cw/inrecovery Got a question or story you want to share? Email the pod at [email protected] and I might read it out loud on an upcoming episode–don't be a dick. 

This week, Theo pulls back the curtain on his time in the rooms. Theo went at AA wholeheartedly: he worked the steps thrice+ over, followed the program with incredible precision, had a sponsor, and had his own batch of sponsees. So what finally made him get out of Dodge? He traces the surprising overlap between Scientology and AA, recounts his exposure to the Freedom Model and Writing the Big Book, and breaks down other paths to sobriety like Recovery Dharma and SMART Recovery.

Drop everything and listen. Theo was all in, and now he's telling the truth about these meetings that most people won't say out loud.

Show notes at https://www.patreon.com/cw/inrecovery

You don't get to know AA without knowing the Big Book. The host will guide listeners through the Big Book's preface and four updated forewords, and delve into how the program is misleading and nefarious starting on page one. She will also define slogans and seven-dollar words that you might not be familiar with but are implanted in each member's stream of consciousness. 

On the premier episode of In Recovery from Alcoholics Anonymous, we're exposing the dirty truth about 12-step meetings. Ever felt put in unnecessary shame cycles, guilt-tripped about your imperfect program, told your trauma was your fault, or been assigned a personality that doesn't fit? You're not crazy; we've experienced it too. For non-members who couldn't get past the God-stuff, or non addicts who want to know more about what happens in these rooms, we won't mince words. Welcome to In Recovery From Alcoholics Anonymous, where cross-talk is welcome.