In the Loop with Andy Andrews

On this week’s episode, I share my perspective on how to talk to your kids when they are being to hard on themselves and falling apart.

As parents, it is crucial that we are vulnerable about our pasts.

• Some kids need to know another person has experienced the same problems as they have.
• Obviously we’ve forgotten what being 12 feels like, but we can try to imagine how things are going on in their minds.

My son, Adam, is very sensitive and tends to think about things that might not bother his older brother.

• His feelings don’t get hurt easily, but he is very aware of what other people are feeling—and he tends to focus on areas where he’s not doing so well.
• I encourage you to help your child understand that we are all in the same boat together.
• We all have strengths and weaknesses, and you can always find someone better than you.
• Talk to your children about how they act, walk, and talk—and try to instill these habits in their lives.

I recently heard a pastor say to the church’s youth, “Sometimes God will give you a weakness that you really have to struggle with, and it will become a strength.”

I told Adam a story about two football teams.

• The first team had athletes that didn’t have to work hard to beat the other team every year.
• One year the second team decided to start lifting weights and working out harder than ever.
• The first time they played the really good team again, they lost worse than before because their bodies were sore.
• But the next year after sticking with the workouts, they creamed the other team. The first team decided to start working out harder, but they were already too far behind.

Make sure to check out the free parenting videos on the website. There’s a bunch of great information on how to talk to your kids.

Here’s a link, so you don’t have to go hunting: Click here

Questions for Listeners

Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show!

• Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY
• E-Mail: [email protected]
• Facebook.com/AndyAndrews
• Twitter.com/AndyAndrews

On this week’s episode, I respond to a question about reading biographies to children and my thoughts on fiction.

I would read biographies to the boys when they were younger and paraphrase to make it more age-appropriate.

• With biographies you can foster an interest in history and good lessons.
• Non-Fiction will inform and teach, and I believe it is important to be able to explain why a certain thing will work.

I find it weird when people have a sort of snobbery toward fiction.

• When you read fiction, it will ignite your imagination in a way that nonfiction cannot do.
• It’s knowledge and imagination that drives the great breakthroughs on our planet.
• You need both to create a successful life.

You want the kind of fiction that sparks the right kind of imagination.

• Be careful what you and your children are reading.
• Your imagination is so crucial to making a great living, having awesome relationships, and being a great parent or spouse.

The Kid Who Changed the World is a clever telling of how much we all mean to each other and the difference we can make, while also teaching history.

Click here to learn how to get your own copy of The Kid Who Changed the World.

Questions for Listeners

Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show!

• Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY
• E-Mail: [email protected]
• Facebook.com/AndyAndrews
• Twitter.com/AndyAndrews

On this week’s episode, I discuss a popular listener question: “What should you provide for your kids, and what should they have to work for?”

Some parents have a cut and dry answer for that, but I don’t.

• My answer changes depending on what’s going on.
• It’s according to how they are behaving.
• If I sense a spirit of gratefulness, then there are more things that I will handle for them. A lot of the time it’s not even things they are aware of.
• The one thing that can truly stop it in a heartbeat is if I sense a spirit of expectation or a lack of gratefulness. Then it’s a totally different ballgame.

There was a time last week that I needed to drive Austin around to several locations for the business he has started.

• Something distracting was happening when we got home, and a few minutes later I was aware that Austin had not thanked me for doing that for him.
• I used this situation to explain to him that as he grew older, life would become more chaotic and there will be more occasions to forget how to act.
• People want to be around grateful people, and it’s a desirable quality in an employee or boss.

I recently saw a kid who got a brand new BMW on his 16th birthday.

• At some point that car is going to wear out. And if the parents aren’t going to buy him another car when he’s older, then that may be the nicest car he ever has.
• I see young adults all the time who are disappointed with their life, because the best car they ever drove, place they lived, or most fun they had was when they were a kid.
• As they become more disappointed, it affects how they act. And then their performance level is affected at work. Over time, they become more and more likely never to have that BMW again.

I’ve elaborated on this topic in a free 4-video series I did on smart parenting. I’d love for you to get to watch it!

These short videos cover must-know information for parents. In seconds, they could change your kids’ lives forever.

Click here for free instant access to the videos.

Questions for Listeners

Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show!

• Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY
• E-Mail: [email protected]
• Facebook.com/AndyAndrews
• Twitter.com/AndyAndrews

On this week’s episode, I respond to a listener question about handshake etiquette for girls.

I don’t think there is a “right” or “wrong,” but I do think there is a “best.”

There are a couple of schools of thought here:

• One is the old-school “debutant” school of thought:
• Women go to college to find a husband.
• Everything a woman does should be geared toward a wife and homemaker.
• I don’t know if there is anything more important than that, but there are definitely other things that may be equally important.

With the way our world works today, I don’t think a woman shaking hands should offend anyone.

• For the most part, professional women shake hands.
• What looks really strange, though, is when a woman doesn’t know what to do.

I’ve taught my boys that there are many people who will not expect a handshake from them because of their age.

• I see many surprised (and delighted) faces when by boys reach their hands out and say, “nice to meet you” to adults.
• To a huge degree, how you treat your wife or husband will create a baseline for your children’s expectations as they grow up.

I’ve elaborated on this topic in a free 4-video series I did on smart parenting. I’d love for you to get to watch it!

These short videos cover must-know information for parents. In seconds, they could change your kids’ lives forever.

Click here for free instant access to the videos.

Questions for Listeners

Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show!

• Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY
• E-Mail: [email protected]
• Facebook.com/AndyAndrews
• Twitter.com/AndyAndrews

On this week’s episode, I talk about my special new book, The Perfect Moment, and the peculiar story of how it came to be published:

It all started while I was throwing football with one of my boys.

• That led to a magical conversation, and it became a story for our friends.
• I wrote it down, and then it became a story I would tell on stage.
• We turned it into a free downloadable eBook and then finally Simple Truths said that they would like to publish it in hardcover. (more in the video)

The book offers amazing insights into finding the hidden value of everyday life.

• There are so many things that we see everyday and don’t notice anymore.
• Our family has begun to notice the perfect moments that are occurring in our lives. Yours can, too.
• The end of your book has a “Life Planner” of sorts that will help ensure your next six months are outstanding, noticing and creating more of your own perfect moments.

We are very grateful for Mac Anderson and Simple Truths for putting this book out nationwide. I’m absolutely thrilled with how beautiful the book turned out!

[If you’d like to grab your own copy of The Perfect Moment, just click this link to go to the book’s page.]

Questions for Listeners

Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show!

• Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY
• E-Mail: [email protected]
• Facebook.com/AndyAndrews
• Twitter.com/AndyAndrews

Before getting into our discussion, I wanted to give a shout-out to my friend Wes Hampton.

• He and his family were over this past 4th of July weekend and we had a lot of fun grilling and watching the kids play.
• Wes also has a Kamado Joe (plus his own cookbook), so we had a great cooking discussion.
• Find Wes on Facebook or head over to WesHampton.com, and you can find his recipes there.

This week’s topic comes from a pastor who sometimes works with victims of sexual abuse, and what “accepting responsibility” would look like in this situation. One of the women he works with started reading The Traveler’s Gift and closed the book when she read to accept responsibility for your past.

Life is a series of advancing what we understand, or we kind of stop in a certain place and say, “That’s it.”

• There was a time in most people’s lives when they had not acquired a taste for certain types of food.
• If I had a chance to talk to her before she read The Traveler’s Gift, I would say, “Read the book with the same mind-set as you would have going into a cafeteria.”
• They might have a lot of things you like, but you don’t leave when you see something you won’t eat.

Accepting responsibility for our past also means determining what we are responsible for.

• The things we are not responsible for would certainly fall more into the forgiveness category.
• At the age of 9, you would really have no choice if an adult imposed something on you.
• I know this is a delicate situation and I don’t know all the circumstances, so this is more of just exploring ideas, but I do feel there is a certain age when responsibility to get yourself out of a situation falls somewhat to you.

Questions for Listeners

Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show!

• Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY
• E-Mail: [email protected]
• Facebook.com/AndyAndrews
• Twitter.com/AndyAndrews

On this week’s episode, I address the question of how to balance contentment and the things you want in life.

There are several things I want to do and want to have.

Before anything “goes up on our refrigerator,” so to speak, I see if it fits my criteria…

• Does this line up with my mission in life?
• Would it make my mission more vibrant and successful?
• Can this thing be a tool to help people?

We are very joyful whether we get to do something or not. There is an understanding that we don’t need certain things to feel fulfilled.

I am very aware of blessings beyond need.

• We have a house, but I have proven in my life that I only need a pier to sleep under.
• We have blessings beyond what we need cultivate a grateful spirit.
• Gratefulness will make you into a content person.
• In my quiet time, I will examine the things beyond what I need and determine if I should pursue them.

Gratefulness is right in the middle of this question. You’ve got to have a grateful spirit and understand that if your needs are met, everything else is gravy.

Questions for Listeners

Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show!

• Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY
• E-Mail: [email protected]
• Facebook.com/AndyAndrews
• Twitter.com/AndyAndrews

On this week’s episode, I talk about the benefits of gardening with your family and answer a listener question on divided families.

We have a little garden of eight blackberry bushes that we planted three years ago.

• The first year we got a few blackberries.
• The second year we got a lot of blackberries.
• This year we couldn’t pick them all at one time.

This is a great thing parents can do with their kids.

• Get a couple of plants, take your kids in the backyard, dig a hole, pour some potting soil in it, and stick the plant in the yard.
• This is what families used to do together.
• We’ll spend an hour just picking berries and talking to each other.
• Doing this teaches your children about end results.

Planting something is a great metaphor for life.

• Zig Ziglar talked about planting a bamboo tree and growing it over ten-years.
• You water and fertilize it for years without seeing results.
• Then, in that last year, it will have grown 100-feet.
• So… did it grow 100-feet in one year or ten years?

What can parents of divided families do to make sure they’re being as effective as they can?

• One of the great strategies is for the mom and dad to get together and determine what they want the child’s adulthood to look like.
• Write it down.
• If you sit there and try to discuss methods, it’s going to be opinion vs. opinion.
• Determine the result, and work backward from there.
• Then, you can be more certain that when your child is not with you, the other parent is still aiming for the same result.

Check out Andy’s parenting series for more information. You will get access to over 80-minutes of free content in this 4-video series.

Questions for Listeners

Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show!

• Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY
• E-Mail: [email protected]
• Facebook.com/AndyAndrews
• Twitter.com/AndyAndrews

On this week’s episode, I share my thoughts on a listener question about generational advancement.

Reversing generational curses or trends is a huge thing to me, and I’ve spent a great deal of time searching for answers on this topic.

The most important thing I’ve learned on this search comes from studying many other families.

• I’ve studied families that have been affected by negative generational things.
• I’ve studied families that have had huge generational success.
• For people to want to change, you need to prove why a particular way of doing something works.
• I’ve spent the past two years working on the 100 Year Parenting course to explain just that.
• It’s basically the long form answer to this question.

It’s all parenting.

• I’m even talking about business relationships and marriages.
• The way people deal with things, or come around to a new light of wisdom has a lot to do with how they were raised.
• It’s easy to realize that we all understand that a child who grows into a 25-year-old adult with exceptional manners is imminently more employable than a 25-year-old without good manners.
• Manners are money.

If you haven’t seen any of the parenting course, go to AndyAndrews.com and click on the parenting banner. Inside is a free 4-video series, which has over 80 total minutes of content.

Questions for Listeners

Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show!

• Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY
• E-Mail: [email protected]
• Facebook.com/AndyAndrews
• Twitter.com/AndyAndrews

On this week’s episode, I’m sharing a story I wrote about my dad.

It’s not really a short story since all of it is true.

• It has been pieced together from things I remember, and stories I have heard from others who knew him.
• I wanted my boys to have a description of their grandfather in the event that I am not able to give the oral history.

My father had a different method of parenting.

• He was kind of nut. Not a professional nut like I am, but still a nut.
• This story takes you though some of the memories that I love, and the funny things that he would say as our church pastor.

Questions for Listeners

Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show!

• Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY
• E-Mail: [email protected]
• Facebook.com/AndyAndrews
• Twitter.com/AndyAndrews