On this week’s episode, I answer a listener question on what it really takes to have a successful marriage.

Occasionally you hear people say, “We don’t have any problems. We don’t fight ever.”

• Anytime I hear that, I always think that somebody is being fooled.
• I don’t know how two people can exist and not have to work some things out.
• If you have ever been involved in a long-term friendship, there have been moments that you could have walked away from the friend and never done anything with them again.
• A marriage is more than just a long-term friendship.

Polly and I have a working marriage. It’s a consistent work in progress.

• I think we all go through moments where we feel like we can’t stand a person anymore. That’s human nature.
• The commitment to how things should be has to be larger than a momentary feeling of disagreement.

Our first couple of years were the hardest part of our marriage.

• We got married, and to our horror, found out how different we were from one another. I panicked for a little while.
• I remembered Jones telling me that if two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.

I think that the kids knowing that your decisions are for your long-term future really affects them.

• Even though we disagree or get mad, there is a larger purpose that the boys know they are a part of, too.

I think the best marriage book ever written is Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs. It firmly grasps the idea of what both people need.

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On this week’s episode, I answer a listener question on thinking and how it inspires action.

Most people believe that their choices determine where they are.

• In a way they do, but you can’t really control your choices any more than you can control the flip of a coin.
• Unless you have a process in place for guiding your choices, at best you can hope to make 50% of your choices right.
• Thinking determines the choices we make, choices determine actions, and actions determine our reputation.

Are there instances in which action inspires different thinking?

• Yes, if we are looking to learn something.
• When we are not looking to learn something, our words (or thinking) will overpower our actions.
• Thinking and action are kind of circularly intertwined.

There is a great paradox between “As a man thinketh, so is he,” and yet we’re still able to choose what we think and how we think.

God feeds the birds, but he doesn’t throw worms in their nest.

• I realized years ago that I was praying beggar prayers, and I felt like God was rolling his eyes at me.
• If you’re sitting at home and lying on the couch, the people that God places on your life path are probably not sitting next to you.

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On this week’s episode, I answer a listener question on which three words I would use to describe myself.

One of them would definitely be searching.

• In the second decision –“I will seek wisdom”– I thought for a number of years that the most important word was wisdom.
• The most important word is seek.
• I’ve become so much more aware of searching because I’ve finally figured out that there is a lot more to the things that I thought I knew.
• Even if you are an expert in a field, there are always more answers to search out.

The second word is intentional.

• I don’t live my life according to intention.
• Intention has no power.
• To be intentional about what you do means you are heading in a specific direction for a specific reason.

When you are intentional about where you are going to go, then you are able to determine very quickly if what you are doing is moving you closer or further from the result you want.

The third word is really the first one I thought of, and that is grateful.

• Gratefulness is perspective.
• I’ve never found anyone who has presented a situation where I couldn’t point out something to be grateful for.

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On this week’s episode, I address a listener question on displacing negative thoughts.

You can’t leave your mind blank.

• When we don’t choose what goes in our minds, our minds fill up with things that point our thoughts in other directions.
• These directions may affect our choices in ways we would really rather not choose.
• How many times have we said to ourselves, “what was I thinking?”

Think about this….

• If I was to sing, “Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale…”
• You would immediately think, “A tale of a fateful trip.”
• But was there really a time that we sat down with a pen a pad and said that we wanted to learn this song?
• We weren’t choosing anything at that time, but it made its way into our brains and it’s never going away.

There was a movie I saw in high school that totally freaked me out.

• I don’t even remember why I was there, or who I was with when I saw it.
• It has been decades since I’ve seen that movie, but I can’t forget the things that I saw.
• Those images are not doing me any good.

Why not choose what does go in our minds?

• Choose something that will benefit your family forever, or benefit what you believe your destiny to be.
• It is important to choose.
• You don’t have to read my books, but you better be reading something beneficial.

Questions for Listeners

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On this week’s episode, we honor our mothers with an episode not just for Mother’s Day.

A couple of weeks ago the boys found a vine hanging down from a tree.

• I can remember telling Polly, “They’re fine.” I didn’t say, “You’ll be fine.”
• Adam was yelling, “It’s perfectly safe!”
• So as Polly is swinging, the vine cracks and mama fell from the sky.
• What a great mom these boys have. As crazy as that was…what a great memory.

I say this to friends of mine whose mothers pass away:

• First, I ask how old they are. For this example, let’s say they are 57.
• I’ll say, “I know that you’re sad, and there’s never a good time for anyone’s mama to pass away, but I am envious, because you had 57 years with a mama as great as yours and that must have been awesome.”

Make a determined and consistent effort to let your parents, especially your mama, know you love them.

• Some of the moments when I most admire Polly are when I see flashes of my mother in her.
• It’s very odd to me that I am now older than my mother was when she passed away.

I make sure the boys know every time they leave for school or go to bed at night that it could be the last time they see us.

• I don’t want them living in fear.
• But I also don’t want them living with regret.
• Again, say what you need to say to the people you care about.

Questions for Listeners

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On this week’s episode I discuss why your family needs a mission statement and how my family created ours.

I’ve never seen a successful company that didn’t have a mission statement.

• I found out that a friend of mine, Sandy Stimpson, has a family mission statement for his family.
• He suggested that we make our own.

Polly, the boys, and I sat down and decided…

• What is important?
• Where do we want to go?
• What is the best?
• What result are we after?
• How do we act?

Over the course of several weeks we formed the mission statement, and it is now framed.

• We keep it in the front of our house where we can see it all day long.
• It makes life more intentional for Polly and me, but it is also transforming how our boys think.

Be sure you’re on the AndyAndrews.com email list so you don’t miss the release of our free Family Mission Statement Builder! Go to AndyAndrews.com to sign up.

Questions for Listeners

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On this week’s episode, I answer a listener question about the hardest thing in my life and what I worry about the most.

I think frustration is one of the hardest things in my life.

• First, I don’t want to come across sounding ungrateful or jealous.
• I see celebrities on YouTube with millions if not billions of views and I ask, what are they offering that will change your family for the better?
• Some of my friends like Wes Hampton or Sugarcane Jane are great musicians with a positive message. So how do we get people like this to have influence on millions?
• It’s frustrating to know that we have the power to change they world, and in ways we still are not.

There was a time when Billy Graham was preaching out of a tent.

• Two words in a telegram to the newspaper—“Puff Graham”—changed everything.
• Billy never met the man, William Hurst, who sent the telegram, nor did he know the reason why.
• Now it’s hard to find someone who hasn’t heard of Billy Graham.

What do I worry about?

• I don’t really worry about anything, but I have concerns.
• Am I doing everything that can be done to get the message out in my books?

Questions for Listeners

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On this week’s episode, I answer a listener question on self-sabotage and the most important quality in people.

We’ve talked on several other episodes about how the way you think is the foundation for everything.

• The things we listen to, watch, and read totally affect what we believe.
• I have come to the conclusion that people cannot achieve beyond what they really believe.

Out of the organizations and companies that I speak for, athletes usually have the hardest time believing this.

• We test this by having one of them complete a physical feat that is easy for him to do well.
• I then tell him something has been changed.
• I don’t actually change anything, but it is very obvious that because he believes something has changed, he is not able to complete the feat the way he did before.

I believe the most important quality a person can have is to be a person other people want to be around. This encompasses…

• Empathy
• Intelligence
• Tact

If you do not focus on becoming a person other people want to be around, people aren’t going to listen to you.

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On this week's episode, I talk about the first steps Polly and I took when we found out we were going to be parents.

I never expected to do anything like this, but I think this is the most important thing I’ve ever done.

15 years ago when Polly sat me down and said “we are going to have a baby,” I was excited…and then broke out in a cold sweat.

• I really dug into parenting right from the beginning.

• I wanted to give my wife and I more certainty for this life we were about to guide.

I believe you can know how to do a certain thing, but…

• If you don’t know why it works then you’ll always be tempted to move away from it, do it too much, or do it too little.

• I talk to more people who have issues with their adult children than I do to people who have issues with their kids.

For a long time I didn’t want to do a parenting course because I’ve taken several courses and read fifty books.

• The thing that got me about the parenting courses was that there was no proof.

• There were examples, great ideas, life lessons, and principles, but there was no proof.

• There was never anything where you said, “That is absolutely right and will work every time!”

This course is going to be all encompassing. Make sure you are on our email list so you can get the latest details about it.

Questions for Listeners

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My Newest Book and a Surprise OpportunityOn this week’s episode, I talk about the release of The Seven Decisions and how you can win a Kamado Joe grill.We did an episode a few weeks ago on the Kamado Joe, and ended with saying that we wanted to have a Kamado Joe giveaway. Well, we have done it. Anyone who pre-orders The Seven Decisions and sends us their receipt will be entered in a drawing for their very own Joe in either black or brick red. • You can be entered in the contest as many times as you can order a book. • Each entry must have a different receipt. • You can order 25 books in one order, but you will only be entered once. • Order 25 books separately and you will be entered 25 times. • Pre-orders must be before May 6, 2014. • If we receive enough entries, the drawing will be for more than one winner. The Seven Decisions is a re-release of Mastering the Seven Decisions. • The book has updated content and a new cover. • The reason it is being released again is because, when it originally came out as Mastering the Seven Decisions, nobody was reading my books! Make sure you’re on our email list. Go to AndyAndrews.com and sign up if you are not. Questions for Listeners Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show! • Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY • E-Mail: [email protected] • Facebook.com/AndyAndrews • Twitter.com/AndyAndrews