Inappropriate Folktales

Death! War! Hunger! Weddings! So many inappropriate things in this Russian story of the soldier and the warlock that you'll hardly be able to handle the maggots! the crows! the snakes! that will take over your nightmares. Oh, you think the day will get saved, but, oh, you and your positive outlook. We warned you not to listen; we can sense the blood draining from your...palms. Don't listen to this live recording told by Sean Buvala. Oh, we know you will anyway. We shall keep the fires burning for you. Pitchforks not included.

Bif! Baf! HeeHee! Holler! Ho! Terror awaits our young hero as he spends three terrifying nights in a spooky castle, all in an attempt to win the hand of the Princess. Yep, sounds like a fairytale. It gets pretty folktale-y when we add the talking cats, the fire, the lathe, the murder, the violence and the legs. Nine legs makes us wonder about the other missing leg. While the audience who heard this tale told live had no choice but to give in to the shocking shockingness, you should just leave now and not listen to this inappropriate use of body parts and spirit-formed animals. Run away. But you aren’t going to, are you? We warned you about listening to Sean tell this 1812 Grimm Fairytale of good bowling and card playing. But, wait, maybe you are trying to drown your fears in the lake? Meow!

Listen to the giggle...errr... terrifying screams of these young people, trapped in a live audience! Oh, it might sound like laughing, but be warned! Even they can’t believe how this tale unfolds. Oh, the Lupine sluicing! Will it be Fresh Wolf Wienerwurst? No one should have to give up the goodies!

In this inappropriate folktale, storyteller Sean Buvala shares another Grimm-based variant of the Little Red Riding Hood saga which he calls “The Other Wolf.” Recorded live in Murray Park, Utah. Run away! Slam the door!Boil some sausages! We’ve warned you this isn’t your mommy’s LRRH.

“A story so full of terror and murder and betrayal that I may not be able to tell you all the words.” The death of dozens, of boars, of brothers. Really, these are not appropriate for anyone, but you are going to listen anyway, aren’t you? We’ve tried to warn you that this classic Grimm fairytale isn’t for the soft-hearted. Be worried about the nightmares the words of Sean Buvala will cause. The death penalty alone may steer you away from stories forever more!!

SSSSomething could go wrong in our fable-filled version of this week’s folktale. The Frogs. The Gods. The Croaking. We’ve told you these stories are not for the lovers of peace and justice. Frogs in a pond clamor for a King. Will he bring salvation or just drain the swamp. Only in your hearing will you know. An adaptation of an Aesop tale by Sean Buvala.

You can listen. We warned you…those poor frogs. It’s completely inappropriate. It’s gonna be huge and inappropriate.

Violence! “The judge realized he had given this boy, essentially, the right to attack anyone…” A tale of deceit, a dim young man, and permission to kill. No doubt this story will lead you down a road to violence if you listen. An inappropriate Momma, silent thieves and a bleeding judge feature in our story told by Sean Buvala. A folktale collected originally by Johann Reinhard Bünker in 1906. Listen in if you feel you must. Those sweetened nightmares are all on you. See the listen link below the terrifying picture.

Oh, the suffering of one brother against another. Surely, justice will prevail, but wait, those giants! No, it can’t be. Okay, well, you have made a choice to listen. We told you to turn around. Recorded live in 2006 and told by K. Sean Buvala, this is a retelling of a classic, but not really know, Grimm folktale. Turn away now, before you are stuck like tar to your listening device.

A wizard has a snack and yet the family still loves him? What?! No, you don’t want to listen to this! The carnage! The sheep! The lack of hospitality! Just say, “no, no I will not subject myself to one more of these inappropriate folktales as I am too scared.” This one is adapted the book “Armenian Folktales and Fables” by Charles Downing.

“It was as if tongue and tendon, muscle and mouth had been restored for the skull began to speak of…” Completely inappropriate but told appropriately by K. Sean Buvala. Treasure, swords, death. Ugg, maybe you should go listen to something nice, not this? But, oh well, there is no telling you, is there? Adapted by Sean from a variety of world folk tales.