InCredible Witness

This episode provides valuable insights on how to effectively answer difficult questions, particularly in a court setting. Michael emphasises the importance of being in a balanced state of mind, actively listening to questions, and taking the time to formulate thoughtful responses. Practical tips such as acknowledging errors, providing context for actions, and being honest when unsure are also discussed. Overall, the episode offers a comprehensive guide on handling difficult questions with composure and clarity, making it a valuable resource for anyone facing challenging questioning situations.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Practice being in a calm emotional state to maintain serenity and not let external actions affect you.

• Listen carefully to the entire question before answering, to ensure a proper response.

• Take your time when answering questions, think about your response, and speak only what you intend to say.

• Preparation and practice in answering questions from different angles are crucial for success.

• When faced with a question you don't know the answer to, it's better to admit it honestly rather than attempting to provide a false answer.

BEST MOMENTS

"Listening is a key skill in so many areas of your life. When your capacity to listen is impaired, of course you do not hear properly, or you mishear, misread or misinterpret whatever is being asked of you."

"Questions are difficult when they come from an angle you had not expected or highlight an area which is totally new to you or unfamiliar to you."

"It is better to take your time and answer the question properly than fail to answer it by answering it poorly and placing yourself in problems because you rushed in due to worrying about taking too long to respond."

"A tip in answering questions is to be like water. In other words, go with the flow. Unless you have a good or strong reason to challenge or deny any assertion, then make sure, if you do deny or disagree with what's being said, that you can back up your argument with supporting evidence."

"Never lie when answering questions. I hope you really enjoyed this episode and got a great deal out of it. Thank you very much for listening."

VALUABLE RESOURCES

[email protected]

Instagram: michael240656

HOST BIO

Michael Watson is a qualified social worker and author with over thirty years of experience working with children and families. As an expert in family court, Michael is in a key position to assist, advise, and coach parents through their private law family proceedings and provide them with the information and skills to represent themselves successfully in court. His two books, ‘How to Represent Yourself in Family Court’, and ‘FAMILY COURT: Giving Evidence In Family Court’, provide parents with a clearer understanding of family court proceedings, legislation, and parenting skills.

This episode delves into the impact of parents using their children as tools for control, punishment, and negotiation. The episode highlights how some parents, with unmet needs from their own upbringing, prioritise their own desires over their children's well-being. Through a detailed narrative, the episode explores a harrowing case where a child is subjected to emotional abuse and manipulation by one parent, leading to long-term emotional damage and the need for therapeutic support. 

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Children are highly dependent on parents and caregivers for various needs such as attention, affection, guidance, and security.

• Parents with unmet needs, due to their own upbringing, may struggle to provide adequate care for their children, leading to harmful behaviors.

• Using children as bargaining tools or weapons in conflicts between parents can have long-lasting negative effects on the child's emotional development.

• Court systems may not always fully grasp the impact of one parent's harmful actions on the child during private law proceedings.

• Children who are subjected to intentional conflict and abuse by one parent may require therapeutic support to address their unmet needs and emotional trauma.

BEST MOMENTS

• "Children are very vulnerable and highly dependent on parents and caregivers throughout the many years of their childhood."

• "Parents with unmet needs may, for example, have mental health difficulties, possibly because they were parented in an environment where they were never provided with the safety they needed to feel safe and protected."

• "Some parents compound their lack of insight by going further and putting conditions on the circumstances under which the child will see the other parent."

• "In choosing this course of action, no consideration was given to the damage the child was going to be subjected to, or the long-term impact that a child growing up in this type of environment was likely to experience."

• "Parents who use their children to negotiate more favourable deals for themselves, influence the actions of others, or as a means to inflict pain on others, are primarily focused on their own needs, and in the pursuit of doing so, cannot help but produce considerable harm that will likely rear itself in some stage in their child's future."

VALUABLE RESOURCES
[email protected]
Instagram: michael240656

HOST BIO
Michael Watson is a qualified social worker and author with over thirty years of experience working with children and families. As an expert in family court, Michael is in a key position to assist, advise, and coach parents through their private law family proceedings and provide them with the information and skills to represent themselves successfully in court. His two books, ‘How to Represent Yourself in Family Court’, and ‘FAMILY COURT: Giving Evidence In Family Court’, provide parents with a clearer understanding of family court proceedings, legislation, and parenting skills.

This episode delves into the crucial skill of persuasion and its significance in various aspects of life, particularly in social work and legal settings. Michael emphasises the importance of building trust with clients by demonstrating competence and genuine care. He highlights the power of listening, valuing others, and showing warmth and enthusiasm to establish meaningful connections. 

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Building Trust: Before trying to persuade others, it is crucial to develop a relationship based on trust. This involves demonstrating competence and genuine care.

• Active Listening: Taking the time to listen to others, value their experiences, and empathize consistently is essential in building trust and understanding.

• Show Warmth and Enthusiasm: Displaying genuine warmth, enthusiasm, and interest towards others can help build positive relationships and influence them effectively.

• Avoid Criticism: Instead of arguing or criticising, find common ground with others and provide reasons for them to consider your suggestions without making them feel wrong or judged.

• Self-Criticism and Learning: Acknowledging mistakes openly, being self-critical, and showing a willingness to learn from errors can positively influence others' perceptions of your character and credibility.

BEST MOMENTS

"People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." 

"Your time is your most valuable asset or resource, so taking the time to listen to another is an indication of how much you value them." 

"Instead of arguing, blaming or criticising anyone, if you want to stand a chance of positively influencing them... find things you agree on with them." 

"Your ability to listen clearly to the questions is vital because if you don't pay attention to the questions, you won't be able to satisfactorily answer them."

"Having a great attitude throughout your time in the witness box and whilst in court and outside of it is key to how you present in a positive manner at court." 

VALUABLE RESOURCES

[email protected]

Instagram: michael240656

HOST BIO

Michael Watson is a qualified social worker and author with over thirty years of experience working with children and families. As an expert in family court, Michael is in a key position to assist, advise, and coach parents through their private law family proceedings and provide them with the information and skills to represent themselves successfully in court. His two books, ‘How to Represent Yourself in Family Court’, and ‘FAMILY COURT: Giving Evidence In Family Court’, provide parents with a clearer understanding of family court proceedings, legislation, and parenting skills.

This episode talks about the crucial concept of being well-attuned to a child's emotional needs and feelings, emphasising the profound impact it has on their development. Through a detailed exploration of a case involving a young mother with a traumatic past, the episode highlights how a lack of attunement can lead to significant harm and distress for the child. The narrative underscores the importance of parents being present, empathetic, and understanding towards their children, as this forms the foundation for building strong attachments and fostering a healthy upbringing. .

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Attunement is crucial in parenting, as it involves tuning in and connecting with a child on an emotional level, providing understanding, validation, and support.

• Parents who are well attuned to their children's emotional needs and thoughts are more likely to build strong attachments and positively impact their children's mental health.

• Lack of attunement can lead to emotional harm and distress in children, as seen in the case of a mother who struggled to connect with her son due to her own childhood experiences.

• Being attuned to a child's emotions, thoughts, and needs is essential for effective parenting and sets the foundation for a child's well-being and development.

• Consistently providing well-attuned parenting positively impacts a child's life trajectory and is a crucial skill for parents to develop and exercise.

BEST MOMENTS

"When a parent or an adult is able to understand what's going on for a child and can accurately describe how a child thinks and feels, we can say that that adult is well attuned to the child."

"Parents who lack the capacity to be well attuned to the needs, wishes and feelings of their children are often lacking in insight and consumed or focused on their own issues."

"It appears she thought this way because her abuser, a family member, had told her that her grandmother and mother would kill her, and she had believed it."

"Being attuned to your child's emotions, thoughts and needs, and being able to act consistently in accordance with those needs is one of the most important skills you can develop and exercise as a parent."

VALUABLE RESOURCES

[email protected]

Instagram: michael240656

HOST BIO

Michael Watson is a qualified social worker and author with over thirty years of experience working with children and families. As an expert in family court, Michael is in a key position to assist, advise, and coach parents through their private law family proceedings and provide them with the information and skills to represent themselves successfully in court. His two books, ‘How to Represent Yourself in Family Court’, and ‘FAMILY COURT: Giving Evidence In Family Court’, provide parents with a clearer understanding of family court proceedings, legislation, and parenting skills.

In this episode, Michael explores the essential aspects of building positive relationships with families as a social worker. He stresses the importance of understanding the factors that can influence a family's perception of social workers and how to address any preconceived notions or negative experiences. The episode provides valuable insights on fostering trust, communication, empathy, and consistency in interactions with parents and families. It highlights the significance of genuine interest, active listening, empathy, and offering support to create meaningful connections. 

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Building a positive working relationship with parents and families involves addressing preconceived notions and negative perceptions early on.

• Demonstrating transparency, honesty, and consistency in actions and attitude is crucial for gaining trust and fostering a cooperative relationship.

• Actively listening, showing empathy, and treating individuals with dignity and respect are essential components of effective communication and relationship-building.

• Offering value through time, praise, encouragement, advice, and a positive attitude can help differentiate oneself and strengthen the bond with parents and families.

• Remembering special occasions, names, and stories, and approaching conversations with a focus on the individual's needs and desires can further enhance the relationship and support provided.

BEST MOMENTS

"Social workers are involved with instigating care proceedings as a last-ditch method to ensure the child's safety and well-being."

"Developing a positive working relationship with a child and parent depends upon many factors, some of which may have nothing to do with you."

"One of the fastest ways to get people to dislike you and create enmity is to criticise another and tell them that they are wrong."

"Be genuinely interested in them and their life. People, even under unpleasant situations, like to know that they have the attention and interest of others."

"Remember their stories and experiences too. People's experiences influence them and can make them who they become."

VALUABLE RESOURCES

[email protected]

Instagram: michael240656

HOST BIO

Michael Watson is a qualified social worker and author with over thirty years of experience working with children and families. As an expert in family court, Michael is in a key position to assist, advise, and coach parents through their private law family proceedings and provide them with the information and skills to represent themselves successfully in court. His two books, ‘How to Represent Yourself in Family Court’, and ‘FAMILY COURT: Giving Evidence In Family Court’, provide parents with a clearer understanding of family court proceedings, legislation, and parenting skills.

Michael delves into the challenges faced by child social workers when dealing with highly demanding and emotionally consuming cases. The episode highlights the story of a 15-year-old boy named Craig, who had a traumatic upbringing and exhibited aggressive and violent behaviour. Despite efforts to find suitable placements for Craig, his behaviour continued to pose challenges, leading to frequent changes in his living arrangements.  It sheds light on the difficult decisions social workers must make in prioritizing cases and providing the necessary support to children and families in need.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Challenging Cases Monopolise Time: One or two highly challenging cases can consume most, if not all, of a social worker's time, regardless of the caseload size.

• Limited Resources: Social workers must make daily decisions on how to allocate limited resources to provide the most appropriate services to children and families in need.

• Complex Trauma: Cases like Craig's highlight the impact of complex trauma on a child's behaviour and the challenges in finding suitable placements to meet their needs.

• Attention to High-Risk Cases: Social workers tend to focus on cases that pose the highest risk or demand the most attention, potentially leaving other urgent cases with less immediate attention.

• Discretion in Time Management: Social workers have discretion in how they spend their time, often prioritising cases based on perceived risk and urgency, despite the desire to provide equitable support to all cases.

BEST MOMENTS

"No matter how small or large your caseload, you probably know from experience that you only need one or two highly challenging time and emotionally consuming cases to monopolise most, if not all, of your time."

"Despite this reality, you still have to strive to ensure that you give each case the necessary attention, thought and consideration that each case deserves."

"A case that springs to my mind involved a 15-year-old boy who I refer to as Craig. Craig was one of the most traumatised and dysregulated young men who I have ever come across."

"The frustrating thing is that the nature of some cases leaves you with no choice other than focusing on them and this is all the more likely when the case is in care proceedings."

"As a social worker, you have quite a bit of discretion concerning how you spend your time most constructively. But apart from what you are instructed to do by your manager or managers, your attention will tend to centre on who you perceive to be most at risk and who screams the loudest."

VALUABLE RESOURCES

[email protected]

Instagram: michael240656

HOST BIO

Michael Watson is a qualified social worker and author with over thirty years of experience working with children and families. As an expert in family court, Michael is in a key position to assist, advise, and coach parents through their private law family proceedings and provide them with the information and skills to represent themselves successfully in court. His two books, ‘How to Represent Yourself in Family Court’, and ‘FAMILY COURT: Giving Evidence In Family Court’, provide parents with a clearer understanding of family court proceedings, legislation, and parenting skills.

Join Michael as he delves into the challenges and risks faced by social workers working with children and vulnerable individuals. Through personal experiences, Michael highlights the potential consequences of complaints lodged against social workers, shedding light on the impact such accusations can have on one's career and well-being. Michael emphasises the importance of self-care and resilience in the face of adversity. He urges social workers to prioritise their own mental and emotional health amidst the demanding nature of their profession.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Importance of Self-Care: The episode highlights the crucial role of self-care for social workers, emphasising that taking care of oneself is essential to effectively caring for others.

• Risks and Challenges: Michael discusses the various risks and challenges associated with working in social care, including the potential for complaints and the impact they can have on a social worker's career.

• Impact of Complaints: The episode shares Michael's personal experiences, illustrating how complaints from clients or families can lead to significant consequences, such as contract termination or investigations.

• Mental Health Awareness: Michael raises awareness about mental health issues, showcasing how parents' mental health can influence their interactions with social workers and the care they provide to their children.

• Need for Boundaries: The episode underscores the importance of setting boundaries and maintaining professionalism, especially when faced with challenging situations or hostile attitudes from clients.

BEST MOMENTS

"Your involvement saves lives, but also offers a child a better standard of care."

"Undertaking this work is associated with risks, including complaints that could jeopardise your livelihood."

"I was frankly astonished that I could lose a contract under such spurious allegations."

"The complaints were not substantiated, but the threat of potential loss of livelihood lingered for a year."

"In looking back on that case, it was one of the most unpleasant cases I've experienced."

VALUABLE RESOURCES

[email protected]

Instagram: michael240656

HOST BIO

Michael Watson is a qualified social worker and author with over thirty years of experience working with children and families. As an expert in family court, Michael is in a key position to assist, advise, and coach parents through their private law family proceedings and provide them with the information and skills to represent themselves successfully in court. His two books, ‘How to Represent Yourself in Family Court’, and ‘FAMILY COURT: Giving Evidence In Family Court’, provide parents with a clearer understanding of family court proceedings, legislation, and parenting skills.

Michael addresses the pervasive issue of physical violence, intimidation, and abuse faced by social care workers. Join Michael as he passionately advocates for the prioritisation of self-care among social workers, emphasising the need for proper training, support, and protection in the face of violent situations. He urges social workers to report incidents of abuse, seek necessary support, and push for systemic changes to ensure their safety and well-being. 

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Violence in Social Work: The prevalence of violence, intimidation, and abuse towards social care workers is a significant issue that needs urgent attention. Social workers face physical and verbal abuse, highlighting the need for change in how these situations are handled.

• Statistics on Violence: Shocking statistics reveal the alarming frequency of attacks on social care workers, with a social care worker being attacked every 30 minutes in the UK. The high percentage of social workers experiencing assault, harassment, or verbal abuse underscores the severity of the problem.

• Impact on Social Workers: Exposure to violence in social care work leads to decreased job satisfaction, increased stress levels, and feelings of vulnerability among workers. The consequences of client violence extend beyond the individual, affecting overall well-being and contributing to staff shortages.

• Need for Training and Support: A lack of training in dealing with violent individuals or situations leaves social workers ill-equipped to handle challenging circumstances. It is crucial for social care agencies to prioritise training, support, and protection for workers to ensure their safety and well-being.

• Call to Action: Employers and society at large must take a more active role in safeguarding social care workers. Encouraging reporting of abuse, providing adequate training, and implementing safety measures are essential steps to address the issue of violence in social work and protect those who dedicate their lives to helping others.

BEST MOMENTS

"Violence and the threat of violence should not be tolerated in any way."

"Social workers routinely attend visits on their own, walking into risky and dangerous situations unprotected."

"Many social workers didn't report incidents of abuse to the authorities because they believed abuse was just part of the job."

"Fear or feeling vulnerable was found to be a significant consequence of client violence."

"The time has come for employers and wider society to assume a far greater role in keeping social care workers safe."

VALUABLE RESOURCES

[email protected]

Instagram: michael240656

HOST BIO

Michael Watson is a qualified social worker and author with over thirty years of experience working with children and families. As an expert in family court, Michael is in a key position to assist, advise, and coach parents through their private law family proceedings and provide them with the information and skills to represent themselves successfully in court. His two books, ‘How to Represent Yourself in Family Court’, and ‘FAMILY COURT: Giving Evidence In Family Court’, provide parents with a clearer understanding of family court proceedings, legislation, and parenting skills.

Join Michael in this episode as he talks about the realities and challenges of being a social worker. Michael emphasises the need for self-care as a means of coping with the demands of the job and talks about the skills you need to work on to help manage the stress.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Vital Skills Not Taught at School: Crucial skills like decision-making, influencing others, and managing relationships that are often overlooked in traditional education.

• Importance of Self-Relationship: The relationship one has with oneself impacts productivity, self-esteem, and overall well-being.

• Urgent Need for Self-Care in Social Work: There are high levels of stress, violence, and mental health challenges faced by social workers, prioritising self-care is essential.

• Challenges Faced by Social Workers: There needs to be a shift in societal perception and increased support for these essential professionals.

• Empowerment Through Self-Care: Social workers must prioritise their well-being, set boundaries, and value themselves, self-care can lead to better outcomes in their work and personal lives.

BEST MOMENTS

"The decisions we make in life are key to our success or lack of it."

"Your ability to manage your various relationships in life is of inestimable value."

"Your thoughts, feelings, and self-talk are critical to how you feel about you."

"The responsibility for taking care of your health and well-being always rests solely with you."

"Social workers are trying to save vulnerable people's lives and promote their health, safety, and well-being."

VALUABLE RESOURCES

[email protected]

Instagram: michael240656

HOST BIO

Michael Watson is a qualified social worker and author with over thirty years of experience working with children and families. As an expert in family court, Michael is in a key position to assist, advise, and coach parents through their private law family proceedings and provide them with the information and skills to represent themselves successfully in court. His two books, ‘How to Represent Yourself in Family Court’, and ‘FAMILY COURT: Giving Evidence In Family Court’, provide parents with a clearer understanding of family court proceedings, legislation, and parenting skills.

Michael explores the challenges faced by professionals in identifying and addressing child abuse and neglect. Drawing from personal experiences as a children's guardian, Michael highlights cases where reports and referrals about children's welfare were not substantiated, leading to continued harm. The episode focuses on a specific case involving a mother, her son Kay, and their tumultuous journey through various care arrangements. Michael reflects on the missed signs and clues that could have prevented the ongoing harm to Kay and his siblings. This thought-provoking episode emphasises the importance of thorough assessments, reflection, and awareness in safeguarding children's well-being.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Comprehensive parenting assessments can sometimes miss important clues and signs of harm to children if professionals are too focused on specific evidence.

• Professionals may fail to substantiate genuine reports and referrals about the care children are exposed to, allowing harm to continue.

• Parents and caregivers may present a picture that satisfies professionals' concerns, but they may lack insight into the harm they are causing due to their own childhood experiences.

• The case of Kay and his mother highlights the importance of reflecting on gathered information and being attuned to signs of abuse and neglect.

• Professionals need to prioritise safeguarding and not overlook concerns or close cases prematurely.

BEST MOMENTS

"Almost routinely these referrals were investigated, but found to be unsubstantiated, resulting in the child or children remaining in environments and circumstances which it was discovered, often years later, were extremely harmful to them." 

"The frustrating thing was, I was always left with the feeling that surely this could have been prevented. but the parent and family had clearly chosen to do their best to pull the wool over the professional's eyes and had often been successful at doing so, albeit at the expense of their child's health and well-being." 

"It was clear to me that she loved Kay, felt guilty about not caring for him and wanted to, but after only a few questions admitted she was not able to meet his needs."

"This case highlighted for me how professionals, given the pressures of the work they are engaged in, and given their finite resources, can and often are persuaded by parents to accept that children are being adequately cared for when they are not." 

"Missing clues and signs is something that as human beings we are all capable of doing. The willingness and ability to reflect on information gathered is thus of crucial importance to safeguarding and meeting the needs of children."

VALUABLE RESOURCES

[email protected]

Instagram: michael240656

HOST BIO

Michael Watson is a qualified social worker and author with over thirty years of experience working with children and families. As an expert in family court, Michael is in a key position to assist, advise, and coach parents through their private law family proceedings and provide them with the information and skills to represent themselves successfully in court. His two books, ‘How to Represent Yourself in Family Court’, and ‘FAMILY COURT: Giving Evidence In Family Court’, provide parents with a clearer understanding of family court proceedings, legislation, and parenting skills.