Infertility And Me: Stories of Infertility Survivors, IVF, & TTC

For Fertility Friend Check-In we celebrate with Kris who recently had her first egg retrieval. Another friend who we'll call A, is dealing with anger towards God, and the loss of her embryo after the first BETA came back positive. Lastly, our friend CJ suffered unethical care during an IUI procedure, which resulted in her having to report the performing Doctor.

From there we move into the topic of shame and blame as the infertile spouse. Have you ever said to your spouse, you should go be with someone who isn't infertile... Too often, guilt drives our emotions when struggling to conceive, going through fertility treatments, adoption, etc. The challenges of being the infertile spouse as a hetero cis-gendered woman, the toxic ways shame manifests, and ways to get it under control. What should we do, and how do we feel secure in our relationship during tumultuous times?

If nothing else, this episode serves as a reminder that you friend deserve the love of your partner, you deserve to be accepted, and you are worthy of peace of mind.

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*Monique is not a licensed mental health therapist or counselor. Commentary and suggestions are life-experience based.

Things move so quickly during fertility treatments that we often don’t realize just how much we’ve been through. After years of infertility, diminished ovarian reserve-also known as low AMH (Anti-Mullerian Hormone), and poor egg quality, Amanda Monelli and her spouse welcomed their first child.

Amanda went through 3 unsuccessful IUI cycles, an IVF cycle with no chromosomally normal embryos, a successful cycle with one normal embryo, and her last-ditch effort for a sibling. Surprisingly, we learn something special about how Amanda was conceived.

Connect with Amanda @the_elusive_egg 

00:00:00- Intro

00:02:15- Meet Amanda

00:0:4-41- Unforseen struggles TTC. 

00:07:14- Accepting the diagnosis.

00:12:07- Surely IVF works on the first time.

00:18:28- TTC for a sibling.

00:21:05- Genetic links to possible fertility issues.

00:22:02- Healing the trauma of infertility.

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You guuuyyyys, in this solo episode, I share why I decided to stop trying to conceive a sibling. New community friends have asked will I return for fertility treatments and how I mustered the strength to walk away from IVF for good! I also share that there will be more solo episodes and introduce a new segment called Fertility Friend Check-in. 

Fertility Friend check-in is a new segment for you to share an area of your journey that you're struggling with, wins, questions, or comments. I will share on solo episodes of the podcast and offer my wisdom, advice, and hold space for you!

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You guuuuuys, how are you holding up? Where are you in your family-building efforts? What are your thoughts about the overturning of Roe V Wade? In this community check-in episode, I ask for YOUR input about the show and community we've built. How can I be of better support through the podcast? Guests you'd like to have featured, diagnoses, or topics you'd like me or guests who've experienced them to speak on? Let me know. I want to hear from YOU!

00:08:06-  Tap here  to share your honest thoughts and opinions:)

• 00:00:57- Roe V Wade thoughts (short and sweet)

The Heart of Healthcare

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Does the thought of walking away childless frighten you? Do you avoid the discussion of being childless with your spouse? Our guest, Lana Manikowski, shares her story about how she spent a lifetime dreaming of motherhood. After seven years of various fertility treatments, Lana realized that she could not have children. The following years were full of loneliness, self-judgment, and confusion about living a childless life. 

Lana yearned to connect to a community of infertile women to grow past this together. She could not find one, so she created it! Stitch Coaching and The "So Now What?" Podcast. Lana is a certified coach with a specialty in "causal coaching." A methodology based on the relationship between one's beliefs, feelings, and actions - Lana helps women rediscover their meaning and build a future they truly love. 

00:00:00- Intro

00:03:05- Meet Lana

00:05:05- Another close friend started IVF treatments.

00:07:39- The back and forth of deciding to walk away from having children.

00:09:44- Healing from the trauma of infertility begins.

00:16:17- Acceptance: the answers will come to you.

00:20:38- Belief, Feel, Act.

00:22:54- Believe that you are good enough.

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Our guest Kyla Saphir knows firsthand the struggles of living with fibroids and secondary infertility. In this episode, Kyla shares how at the age of 37, after almost two years of TTC for a sibling, and getting the news from an HSG test that she also had a blocked fallopian tube, she and her husband made the hard decision to stop trying. Kyla states: We live in the South and it seems like everyone has 3-5 kids and with no problems. Like they sneezed and they got pregnant! Kyla Saphir is an early childhood educator, yoga instructor, published author, wife, and mom. 

00:04:09- Meet Kyla

00:08:29- TTC for a sibling & fibroids.

00:13:05- Enviromental issues and its effects on fertility:-

00:16:00- Fibroid removal: TTC to Infertile, in a day.

00:21:03- Natal Yoga & TTC.

00:23:30- My spouse was okay with whatever decision I made when TTC for a sibling.

00:24:39- Therapy gave me clarity.

*00:30:52- Baby-making isn't all that we're capable of.

*00:32:41- If you're struggling to conceive, know this...

Grab Your copy of Kyla's book here!

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Has I.A.M podcast helped you? If so, please leave a 5-star Rating & Review on Apple iTunes or Spotify—just one sentence helps tremendously!

Tap here to take our yearly podcast and community survey!

Has I.A.M podcast helped you? If so, please leave a 5-star Rating & Review on Apple iTunes or Spotify—just one sentence helps tremendously!

Do you feel a sense of connection to motherhood/fatherhood so deeply that it drives and fuels you forward through your fertility struggles?

Our Guest Akitra Johnson-Olatuyi describes her desire for motherhood as a deep knowing that her baby is still waiting for her. In this episode Akitra shares her experience with ectopic pregnancy, stillbirth, two miscarriages, and her sisters selfless decision to donate eggs.

Currently, she is working with an agency to find her perfect surrogate match. Akitra hopes to encourage and uplift you through her story to motherhood thus far. 

Time Stamps:

00:00:59- Akitra

00:05:15- Stillbirth & Pregnancy Loss

00:09:55- Fibroids & Egg quality.

00:12:16- Holding onto Faith & considering all options.

00:20:27- This baby is for me.

00:23:40- All bets on you. 

Find Akitra here! 

Support Akitra's GoFundMe here!

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Have you been keeping up with the possible overturning of Roe v Wade, are you concerned with how this will affect your current or future reproductive care? In this episode, Monique chats with Dr. Tara Bradner- IVF mom, Nurse Practitioner, Doctorate degree holder, and women's health advocate. Tara was diagnosed initially with unexplained infertility, but after switching to a new reproductive endocrinologist, endometriosis was found. Tara suffered painful periods for years and no previous doctors would take her complaints seriously. 

Tara states: I endured a long road through infertility followed by infertility treatments and a traumatic pregnancy. Tara sought professional and medical intervention from two fertility clinics, which led me to google and social media for answers. 

Tara and Monique take a deep dive into reproductive rights, justice, the lack of women's health research, and how we can better advocate for ourselves and loved ones.

After experiencing a long road through infertility, Tara decided she wanted to help couples in their journey to grow their family. She chose to change paths to provide a full suite of coaching services and support for those struggling to build their family. Tara is certified through the American Society of Reproductive Medicine (ASRM), a natural family planner with the Marquette Method, and a Certified Hormone Puzzle Fertility Coach.

00:03:44- Meet Tara

00:08:30- IUI's, mental health break, & uterine biopsy.

00:10:00- Don't be scared to get second, third, and fourth opinions

00:11:24- Aren't heavy & painful periods normal?

00:13:58- Why do women have to fight so hard for reproductive rights and justice

00:18:00- Infertility is a healthcare disparity.

00:19:40- IVF 

00:25:45- Creating more peace & calm.

Has I.A.M podcast helped you? If so, please leave a 5-star Rating & Review on Apple iTunes or Spotify—just one sentence helps tremendously! *Follow on Instagram

Has I.A.M podcast helped you? If so, please leave a 5-star Rating & Review on Apple iTunes or Spotify—just one sentence helps tremendously!

Have you ever said to yourself, I'll be happy when...and proceed to create the ideal outcome of the situation?

In this episode Monique chats with Kristin Dillensnyder. After 4 unsuccessful IUI'S, she and her husband knew they needed more help and went to a Reproductive Endocrinologist. Kristin not only suffered from unexplained infertility, but she was of advanced maternal age and her husband had male-factor infertility issues. Kristin experienced 3 different outcomes IVF, one that didn't work, one that ended in miscarriage, and one that gave them their now 4 year old daughter. Kristin is a certified life coach specializing in helping women who, like her, need IVF to grow their family.

Kristin states: I decided to become what I needed in the hardest parts of the infertility journey. To take all of that experience and pain and loneliness and turn it into a positive and embrace who I am. Connect with Kristin!

Time Stamps:

00:00:36- Meet Kristin

00:04:11- 4 IUI's & unexplained infertility.

00:10:22- IVF cycle 3 & Miscarriage.

00:11:50- Healing from grief.

00:13:53- I'll be happy when...

00:15:47- Two Week Wait is like a jail sentence.

00:19:09- Processsing emotional traumas.

00:26:38- It's ok to need help.  

Submit your story to me via email at [email protected] for a chance to record and end the stigma surrounding infertility. Connect with me on Instagram & watch on YouTube

Has I.A.M podcast helped you? If so, please leave a 5-star Rating & Review on Apple iTunes or Spotify—just one sentence helps tremendously!

Have you experienced medical red flags? Our guest, Carrie Severson went through a whirlwind TTC as a single woman. She shares the difficult decision to be a single mom by choice and the process of two rounds of IVF, both of which were unsuccessful. Carrie experienced terrible bedside manner from her specialist, who blamed her "mindset" on the first IVF round being unsuccessful.

She also dealt with unethical care and suffered eight bacterial infections from the same clinic after her last IVF cycle. It took Carrie an entire year to recover from the infections and much longer to heal from the emotional trauma.

Carrie is an accomplished journalist and publisher and has written a book, Unapologetically Enough. In it Carrie details what it was like to go through fertility treatments as a single woman and her traumatic experience with the clinic.

00:03:2- Meet Carrie

00:05:52- Preparing for IVF treatment.

00:09:08- I would have loved to not go through this alone.

00:10:15- Unsuccessful IVF cycle & early ovulation.

00:12:48- Despite the red flags, I agreed to a second cycle of egg collection.

00:13:58- Eight bacterial infections: ignoring the red flags.

00:15:49- To me, it was about opportunity.

00:18:30- Healing from guilt, shame, and blame.

00:19:58- IVF burnout.

00:20:48- I am enough with or without children.

00:22:33- I hope women can find peace.

00:24:16- I wish I had found community sooner.

Grab your copy of Carrie's new book!

Follow Carrie on Instagram!

Submit your story to me via email at [email protected] for a chance to record and end the stigma surrounding infertility. Connect with me on Instagram & watch on YouTube