INFP Thrive for Enneagram 9s

What do abandoned mansions in Bucharest have to do with dirty dishes and emotional resentment?

In this episode, I explore how our desire for fairness can lead us to self-sabotage — and how Stoic justice asks us to think beyond pride, punishment, and being right.

We’ll walk through a real-world example of decades-long property disputes, connect it to the Ultimatum Game in behavioral economics, and look at how these same dynamics show up in our everyday relationships — from family drama to who does the dishes.

This is an invitation to reflect on what you're holding onto, and whether it’s time to build something new — even without the apology or closure you thought you needed.

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Hi! I’m your host, Sarah Mikutel, an American in England and fellow citizen of the world. A few things I love: Stoicism, great vegetarian tacos, and helping my coaching clients thrive in all areas of their lives. 

sarahmikutel.com ❤️

Do you ever go blank or start rambling when someone puts you on the spot? 

I created a free Conversation Cheat Sheet with simple formulas you can use so you can respond with clarity, whether you’re in a meeting or just talking with friends.

Download it at sarahmikutel.com/blanknomore and start feeling more confident in your conversations today.

Mr. Darcy has been on my mind this week. Not because he’s the fantasy of so many women, but because I finally read Pride and Prejudice, and discovered something shocking (to me) about him. 

I’d always thought of Mr. Darcy as this tall, brooding, misunderstood character. The fabulously wealthy, handsome man who everyone thinks is a jerk, but secretly has a heart of gold and wants to take care of you. This is why women have been obsessed with him for hundreds of years. The strong, silent, mysterious hero. 

But that’s not who he starts out as in the book. 

Reading Pride and Prejudice reveals so much more about him, and about what it takes to change and grow. 

In this episode, I’ll share what Mr. Darcy’s transformation can teach us about:

1. how honest conversations can lead to personal transformation – for you and the person you’re speaking with.
2. why hard conversations are worth having, even when they feel risky or uncomfortable.
3. what Stoic principles and practical communication tools can help us handle conflict gracefully.

By the way – hello! I’m your host, Sarah Mikutel, an American writer, communication coach, and practicing Stoic based in England.

sarahmikutel.com

Nonviolent communication tips

Do you ever go blank or start rambling when someone puts you on the spot? 

I created a free Conversation Cheat Sheet with simple formulas you can use so you can respond with clarity, whether you’re in a meeting or just talking with friends.

Download it at sarahmikutel.com/blanknomore and start feeling more confident in your conversations today.

Last week, I gave one of the lightning talks at Stoicon 2024. The topic: How to Combat Speaking Anxiety with Stoicism.

Want to see the video? Head to my Substack 👉 Citizens of the World

Thanks for listening ❤️

sarahmikutel.com

Do you ever go blank or start rambling when someone puts you on the spot? 

I created a free Conversation Cheat Sheet with simple formulas you can use so you can respond with clarity, whether you’re in a meeting or just talking with friends.

Download it at sarahmikutel.com/blanknomore and start feeling more confident in your conversations today.

Why do we get angry? How can we challenge our immediate reactions? And what's the best way to articulate our feelings without passive aggression or a blow-up? 

In this episode, you'll learn four Stoic tips to turn potential conflicts into opportunities for personal growth and stronger relationships.

Do you ever go blank or start rambling when someone puts you on the spot? 

I created a free Conversation Cheat Sheet with simple formulas you can use so you can respond with clarity, whether you’re in a meeting or just talking with friends.

Download it at sarahmikutel.com/blanknomore and start feeling more confident in your conversations today.

I’m reading David Fideler’s excellent book Breakfast with Seneca, where he quotes Seneca in one of his letters: 

“If you want to escape your troubles, you don't need to be somewhere else: you need to be someone else.” 

Those searching for meaning or purpose in life might think a new place will provide answers. But a new location, a new job, a new partner doesn’t guarantee a better life or a fresh start. 

Finding purpose involves understanding your values, interests, and goals. It’s internal work that can be done anywhere.

sarahmikutel.com
Looking to live a more Stoic life? Let's chat.

Do you ever go blank or start rambling when someone puts you on the spot? 

I created a free Conversation Cheat Sheet with simple formulas you can use so you can respond with clarity, whether you’re in a meeting or just talking with friends.

Download it at sarahmikutel.com/blanknomore and start feeling more confident in your conversations today.

Our intentions don’t always line up with our outcomes, and misunderstandings lead to anger, sadness, frustration, and conflict. In this episode, I’ll talk about intent vs impact, which is more important, and how to effectively and ethically communicate your intentions. Of course, I’ll be weaving in the timeless wisdom of the Stoics.

Hi, I’m Sarah Mikutel, your communication and mindset coach, an Enneagram 9 expat in England, and practicing Stoic.  Introverts come to me to learn to speak confidently in front of a room, online, and in social situations without becoming a sweaty, blushing mess with a stress headache.

Do you ever go blank or start rambling when someone puts you on the spot? 

I created a free Conversation Cheat Sheet with simple formulas you can use so you can respond with clarity, whether you’re in a meeting or just talking with friends.

Download it at sarahmikutel.com/blanknomore and start feeling more confident in your conversations today.

Introvert Emergency Kit
 
Click here if you're ready to become a less anxious, more charismatic public speaker.

When it comes to public speaking, what exactly are you afraid of? 

Most people I talk to don’t explore their fears at all – and this makes them worse. 

The thought of public speaking brings up such uncomfortable feelings that they try to ignore them or stuff them down – which is why they continue to suffer from speaking anxiety, one of the most common fears in the world. 

How is an amorphous ‘fear of fear’ holding you back and keeping you quiet?  

I’m Sarah Mikutel, your communication and mindset coach. By the end of this episode, you will know:

• what you’re really afraid of when you say you don’t like public speaking – no more amorphous clouds of discomfort,
• how anxiety manifests in our mind and body and why not managing it is so harmful,
• the beliefs underlying the four different flavors of public speaking anxiety, and 
• Stoic practices you can do to let go of anxiety so you can more eloquently express your thoughts, feelings, and ideas.

So no more holding in what you want to say and then internally screaming when someone else voices what you’d been thinking. It’s time to start feeling more calm and confident when you speak. 

Let’s dive in. 

sarahmikutel.com

Do you ever go blank or start rambling when someone puts you on the spot? 

I created a free Conversation Cheat Sheet with simple formulas you can use so you can respond with clarity, whether you’re in a meeting or just talking with friends.

Download it at sarahmikutel.com/blanknomore and start feeling more confident in your conversations today.

We often hear how negative self-comparisons can be, especially when it comes to social media. But what if we could use comparison as a force for good? A tool to help us grow and flourish at work and in our personal lives?  Great news, we can!

Today you’ll learn how to stop negatively comparing yourself to others and start measuring your progress in healthier and more productive ways. Plus, you’ll learn the scientific theory about why you’re actually more likable the less perfect you are.

Hi, I'm your host, Sarah Mikutel. Ready to take this work deeper and radically transform your life? Let's talk. Book your call here. 

sarahmikutel.com 

Do you ever go blank or start rambling when someone puts you on the spot? 

I created a free Conversation Cheat Sheet with simple formulas you can use so you can respond with clarity, whether you’re in a meeting or just talking with friends.

Download it at sarahmikutel.com/blanknomore and start feeling more confident in your conversations today.

Let's be real. We are smart people with an unhelpful habit of numbing out instead of taking action on our dreams. 

If you relate with any of the following then listen to this episode ASAP:

- find it difficult to stay motivated and focused on goals

- tendency to give in to distractions and urges that hinder progress

- struggle with procrastination and over-indulgence in unproductive activities

- regularly break commitments to yourself but never other people

We all have our vices. That could be mindlessly eating cookies we’re not even enjoying; drinking at a party when we said we wouldn’t; turning down an invite to meet friends so you can work, and then you get distracted and don’t do anything.

You don’t have time for this anymore. Life is too short. How long will you wait before you start demanding the best for yourself? 

Do you ever go blank or start rambling when someone puts you on the spot? 

I created a free Conversation Cheat Sheet with simple formulas you can use so you can respond with clarity, whether you’re in a meeting or just talking with friends.

Download it at sarahmikutel.com/blanknomore and start feeling more confident in your conversations today.

Ever been cut off mid-sentence and feel a whirlwind of emotions – frustration, anger,  embarrassment? Why do we, as Enneagram 9s, take interruptions so personally, and how can we handle them with grace?

I'm your host, Sarah Mikutel, and in this episode, I dive into effective communication and mindset strategies that will help you be seen and heard. By the end, you'll be equipped to handle interruptions confidently, communicate effectively, and enjoy life with less anxiety.

https://sarahmikutel.com/

Do you ever go blank or start rambling when someone puts you on the spot? 

I created a free Conversation Cheat Sheet with simple formulas you can use so you can respond with clarity, whether you’re in a meeting or just talking with friends.

Download it at sarahmikutel.com/blanknomore and start feeling more confident in your conversations today.