InLight Connect

The more deeply we go to spirituality, the more authentic it becomes. As we explore the root dilemma of being human, it seems to touch on feelings of self-inadequacy. Whatever problem there is, it points back to the idea that the self is not enough. We can look at the nature of love between the dance of human beings. So, in this episode, Tiger Singleton offers wisdom on what is self-love through the following topics:

The magnanimity of genuine love The incarceration caused by fear The liberation offered by self-honesty

The magnanimity of genuine love

Genuine love is without any conditions and expectations. It is a love where one says, “I accept you as you are. I see you as you are.” The most sincere love is a great movement of allowing.

However, the conditioning we grew up with made love a possessive or conditioned love. We deem love as, “I love you if…,” or “I want to love you in the future.” It doesn’t speak to a love which is present but a love if we get what we want.

Thus, when we examine love in human beings, it is a desire for us to be what we are and to discover a space where we can be ourselves.

The incarceration caused by fear

The permission to be our most natural is a permission to be honest with our feelings, emotions, thoughts and humanness. It is also the great difficulty where we believe we can’t be honest and truthful to what we are because of our intrinsic fears. We are afraid to be rejected for simply being ourselves. We are unlovable if we are not true to our nature. We have an innocent belief where we must be who others want us to be.

So, the authenticity of spirituality is when we connect to our spirit, a foundation is created where we can recognize safety and sincerity. We can lay down our defenses and be human. If spirituality gives rise to healing, it for us to see this truth and it can be painful because we will come face-to-face with our fear.

The liberation offered by self-honesty

Self-love is self-honesty. Self-honesty or sincerity is acknowledging what is true, real and actual. The sincerity of love is we are permitted to be honest and to be ourselves. This way, we allow and accept others to be what they are, too. We let them feel, think, and experience the way they want.

The reason we are not ourselves is we believe other people judge us. The fear of judgment is painful, but to feel it and see it is self-inflicted is not wrong. To feel the pain is for us to recognize we are not allowing ourselves to be what we are. So, we end up blaming ourselves or others, and when we withhold love, we withhold it to everyone including ourselves.

So, it is for us to remember being human is to experience all the seasons. The freedom to be what we are holds space for others to be what they are, too. In order to connect with the truth of life, we can let go of the life we have. We can be in-touch with something real. It is like a loving friendship where it is an, “I love you, regardless.” All we can do is recognize something is wrong and listen to it. It is a cycle where we are put back in-touch with our being.

Group’s reflection and questions:

The huge impact from my experience with everything said seems to starts from childhood, about parents or the very beginning of our life We can say the dilemma begins in the belief of separation and we are born into it. The separation-belief is like believing in blame and rejection. So, it looks like we experience those things. Interestingly, the healing of childhood separation takes place in recognizing we are whole. What happens to a baby who is separated from the parents and deprived of love? It is encoded in the illusion of separation where when there is this and that, there is also remembering and forgetting, losing and finding. So, to be human is to suffer. Whatever is going on in the world – the different ways children are raised and the different experiences- are all part of it. Then, it is for us to share compassion ra

Journey inward and explore the landscape of your inherent connection with all that is. Tiger Singleton lifts the curtain of perception and exposes the profound truth of what you are. This is day 1, track 6, of a 5-day retreat experience held in Sweden, August 2019.

Transcript

In order to really connect with what's true, you have to be willing to give up everything, which is often why this recognition comes from profound suffering - at that point when people are ready to die to give up everything. It doesn't necessarily have to be that way, but it, oftentimes, is the case and there's no expectation from life that says, “You have to look in this direction.”

You can come to Satsang just because you enjoy the company. That's fine, but then there are some who recognize within themselves, “Okay, I'm ready,” where it's almost like this discovery is the only thing that matters because everything comes from this discovery.

It's almost like you can have 20 relationships on the outside with people, places and things. This can be a relationship with your work, relationship with money, relationship with neighbors…just the play of relationship. You can have 20,000 relationships. Every single relationship is a reflection of the relationship you have with yourself. Every-Single-One.

Your experience with all of those relationships out there are entirely dependent on the relationship you have with yourself. Most people, they're running around trying to fix these relationships, being super busy, not realizing that they all come from the One relationship.

So, if you go to the One relationship and allow healing to go there, by default, it will touch every other relationship. But I'll tell you, the One relationship that's real is the last relationship that anyone wants to look at because it's the most raw, it's the most vulnerable, it's the most real. You get completely exposed. You get called out on all your bullshit, all of it. You see? There's nowhere to run, there's nowhere to hide. You have to take 100% experiential accountability for everything. You have to see that you create everything.

People don't want to see that but beyond the terror of that, to see that you create everything, you also see that there's nothing to fear. How silly it would be to fear your own creation? Sooner or later you're going to have to let go whether it's through the play of death, somebody else dying, or somebody else not doing what you want them to do. You see this? At some point or another, you're going to have to let go. We can either do that now so you can enjoy it or you can keep holding on out of fear, waiting for life to rip it away from you.

Do you see this sooner or later? I'm illustrating with words. Sooner or later, life will rip it away from you, not because life is being cruel, but because it's the way of things, that things change. Nothing remains except the truth.

When we talk about these stories or illustrations about letting go of other people, this and that and the other, these are all representatives of a bigger letting go, which is letting go of yourself because you only hold on to others the way that you hold onto yourself. You only withhold freedom from others the way you withhold freedom from yourself. The difficulty in appearance that you have with other people just shows you YOU, where you're holding on to you.

I guess as another form of a disclaimer, because this happens almost without doubt in retreat, is you're going to experience some degree of liberation and freedom, and you're going to say, “Holy shit! This is amazing.” Then, you're going to go home and say, “What the fuck? Where'd it go?” That's by design because as we sit together, we're going to discover a new depth of being a new depth of living, a new depth of loving and expansion almost like you get to see what's possible behind the curtain. Then, you're going to go home and you're going to see all of the ways that you don't allow yourself

Journey inward and explore the landscape of your inherent connection with all that is. Tiger Singleton lifts the curtain of perception and exposes the profound truth of what you are. This is day 1, track 6, of a 5-day retreat experience held in Sweden, August 2019.

Transcript

In order to really connect with what’s true, you have to be willing to give up everything, which is often why this recognition comes from profound suffering – at that point when people are ready to die to give up everything. It doesn’t necessarily have to be that way, but it, oftentimes, is the case and there’s no expectation from life that says, “You have to look in this direction.”

You can come to Satsang just because you enjoy the company. That’s fine, but then there are some who recognize within themselves, “Okay, I’m ready,” where it’s almost like this discovery is the only thing that matters because everything comes from this discovery.

It’s almost like you can have 20 relationships on the outside with people, places and things. This can be a relationship with your work, relationship with money, relationship with neighbors…just the play of relationship. You can have 20,000 relationships. Every single relationship is a reflection of the relationship you have with yourself. Every-Single-One.

Your experience with all of those relationships out there are entirely dependent on the relationship you have with yourself. Most people, they’re running around trying to fix these relationships, being super busy, not realizing that they all come from the One relationship.

So, if you go to the One relationship and allow healing to go there, by default, it will touch every other relationship. But I’ll tell you, the One relationship that’s real is the last relationship that anyone wants to look at because it’s the most raw, it’s the most vulnerable, it’s the most real. You get completely exposed. You get called out on all your bullshit, all of it. You see? There’s nowhere to run, there’s nowhere to hide. You have to take 100% experiential accountability for everything. You have to see that you create everything.

People don’t want to see that but beyond the terror of that, to see that you create everything, you also see that there’s nothing to fear. How silly it would be to fear your own creation? Sooner or later you’re going to have to let go whether it’s through the play of death, somebody else dying, or somebody else not doing what you want them to do. You see this? At some point or another, you’re going to have to let go. We can either do that now so you can enjoy it or you can keep holding on out of fear, waiting for life to rip it away from you.

Do you see this sooner or later? I’m illustrating with words. Sooner or later, life will rip it away from you, not because life is being cruel, but because it’s the way of things, that things change. Nothing remains except the truth.

When we talk about these stories or illustrations about letting go of other people, this and that and the other, these are all representatives of a bigger letting go, which is letting go of yourself because you only hold on to others the way that you hold onto yourself. You only withhold freedom from others the way you withhold freedom from yourself. The difficulty in appearance that you have with other people just shows you YOU, where you’re holding on to you.

I guess as another form of a disclaimer, because this happens almost without doubt in retreat, is you’re going to experience some degree of liberation and freedom, and you’re going to say, “Holy shit! This is amazing.” Then, you’re going to go home and say, “What the fuck? Where’d it go?” That’s by design because as we sit together, we’re going to discover a new depth of being a new depth of living, a new depth of lovi

Journey inward and explore the landscape of your inherent connection with all that is. Tiger Singleton lifts the curtain of perception and exposes the profound truth of what you are. This is day 1, track 5, of a 5-day retreat experience held in Sweden, August 2019.

Transcript

In many ways, it’s been said that enlightenment is the capacity to make peace with the unknown and that’s where your liberation is going to be found. It’s not in finding something else to know. It’s in being totally okay with the unknown.

Have you noticed, as you’ve traveled this life, (this is kind of hilarious), the disappointment you’ve experienced over and over and over again essentially says this, “I thought I knew something and I found out I didn’t”? You ever noticed this? That sums it up, “I thought I knew something.” Do you see this movement inside of you that’s still trying to know something? It’s trying to skip over the unknown.

I’m inviting you to stop there in the unknown and see that actually, throughout your whole life you’ve never known, ever. You’ve only pretended to know.

This is probably the foundation of the truth that we come to terms with “I don’t know.” The more you see that it’s always been that way, the easier it is to come to terms with it. To be able to observe that it’s only the mind that thinks it knows, do you see the difference between what you are and the mind’s reality?

We think our mind is life. We think we are our minds. You are not your thinking, but to be able to take to heart this discovery that you keep having over and over and over again, which is “I thought I knew something,” the next time your mind thinks it knows something like, “Oh, I’ve been here before,” anytime you think you know something, you will notice a tension in your body, a restriction almost like a slight fear that says, “But, I don’t really know. That scares me.”

I invite you to see playfully and gently the disaster that comes with thinking you know, thinking you know what should happen, what shouldn’t happen, thinking you know what the best is for other people, thinking you know what’s best for you.

Have you noticed that your most profound breakthroughs in life that have really opened your heart to more love, has come by way of seeing what you’re afraid of? Your big breakthroughs in a way we can say have come through suffering.

If you were to ask your mind, “What do I need?” Your mind will say, “To not see what you’re afraid of, to avoid suffering at all costs,” which really shows why this process of awakening can seem to take so long. When really, maybe you see the invitation that what I’m saying is to completely let go, to fall into life and say, “I’m yours. You know what’s best for me. Show me. I’m ready to lose it all.”

Aren’t those the most profound moments in your life where you’re ready to lose it all? You’re ready to just let it all go? That’s certainly true in relationships. Your most profound breakthrough in relationship is when you’re ready to walk out the door, when you’re no longer holding on.

Your most profound breakthrough in your life will happen when you’re no longer holding on to your life, which is like thinking you know what your life is about, where you should be, where it should be going, what you need or what you don’t need.

Do you see that as it relates to all being one? Do you see that if it really was one, if it was really one, you’d let go completely? The more separate you are, the more separate you imagine yourself to be, now the more things you need, the more things you want.

The kind of invitation that I extend to you over this retreat is to get intimate with yourself and asking, “Am I ready?” Be honest with yourself and say that you’re not. Then, we’ll look at t

Journey inward and explore the landscape of your inherent connection with all that is. Tiger Singleton lifts the curtain of perception and exposes the profound truth of what you are. This is day 1, track 3, of a 5-day retreat experience held in Sweden, August 2019.

Transcript

There’s a very ancient question for human beings and that question is, “Who am I?” It’s so ancient that I would say, in a very real way, it’s the only question you’re ever asking. “Who am I?” It’s the only question you’re trying to figure out,

I invite you to recognize this, that even if you were to ask questions about life ultimately, you’re trying to understand YOU to ask questions about another human being. You’re asking because you want to understand you. Just notice this – you could come up with 10,000 different questions and they’re all trying to get at the same thing, “Who am I?” In your most sufferable times, you have no clue who you are. Do you ever notice this, those times that are terrifying, you thought you knew who you were and then something happened and you realize, “I don’t know who I am”? It’s like you’re thrust into the unknown. Yes, that can be terrifying.

Part of the game that human beings play is that they will lose who they’re thought to be. They’ll go through some sort of sufferable experience, lose their identity. Then build another one, only to watch that one collapse as well. Maybe you’ve done this more than once, whether it happens in a relationship, a job, and in everything that we might be chasing after, in some way or another, we’re trying to find ourselves, trying to answer this question, “Who am I? Maybe I’m that.” We want so desperately to know who we are.

Our experiences with suffering- that thing we are trying to get away from and avoid at all costs- I invite you to see how closely that is tied to identity in such a way that the mind can say, “I’m suffering because of this and this and this and this” but what’s it really about? “I don’t know who I am. I lost who I am.”

Do you see this movement in the mind that tries to tell stories of why you’re suffering? However, the mind doesn’t really want to be honest about it. It’s kind of like you could be stressed out or frustrated or angry then, the mind tells a story about why, but when you get down to it, what’s the real issue? “I’m scared,” “I’m afraid.” Then, I tell a story about that fear.

I just invite you to recognize the mind’s capacity to distance itself from the real issue in such a way that the mind in its incredible craftiness doesn’t want you to see the real issue. So, we’re invited to be still and incredibly vigilant, not so quick to believe what the mind is saying.

We can hear the mind’s commentary, we can hear what it’s saying, but also maybe from our heart ask, “What’s really going on though?” What you will find is that throughout your human experience, you keep running into the same issue over and over and over again, almost as if life keeps saying, “Look at this … look at this … look at this.” The mind comes up with infinite ways to not look at it.

The only real dilemma that you have in this human experience, what you keep running into is a truth that says, “I can’t find myself.” Just notice that all the disappointments that you’ve experienced in your life, what you might be trying to hold onto or capture, “I can’t find myself,” and that’s true.

Throughout all spiritual pointing, regardless of which tradition it comes from, in some way or another, all of the traditions have said all is one. You’ve heard this before? Oneness? What that saying is, that everything is the same thing, that there’s only one, ONLY ONE.

Do you see how if everything is one then there can’t be you? It can’t be there’s one and then, yo

Journey inward and explore the landscape of your inherent connection with all that is. Tiger Singleton lifts the curtain of perception and exposes the profound truth of what you are. This is day 1, track 2, of a 5-day retreat experience held in Sweden, August 2019.

Journey inward and explore the landscape of your inherent connection with all that is. Tiger Singleton lifts the curtain of perception and exposes the profound truth of what you are. This is day 1, track 1, of a 5-day retreat experience held in Sweden, August 2019.

Tiger Singleton and Patrick hold a conversation on humans’ attempt to find their meaning only to get disappointed when the search leads to nowhere. What if there is no such thing as having meaning? What if we don’t need to go on a quest for it? What if life is simply what it is?

Discover insights to these questions through the following topics:

The reason for the search for meaning The illusion of borders The discovery in intimate relationships The unbothered life The answer of stillness

The reason for the search for meaning

We search for meaning in our experiences because we want our lives to go smoothly as we like. So, when something deviates from our plans, we ask, “What can this mean?” However, everyday things simply move as they are but our minds tend to put significance to them. It is constantly commenting and searching for meaning.

It is a human experience to ask, “What’s my purpose? What’s the meaning of my life?” We are always convinced we should be this or that. However, the attempt to define meaning is to attempt to define something is good or bad. It is for us to see, in reality, there is no good or bad nor meaning at all.

The illusion of borders

The differentiation of what is good or bad gives a navigational standing of who we are, telling us which side we need to belong to and it can give birth to conflicts. Borders work the same way, too. When we think we belong to a certain border, we define ourselves through it. However, these concepts are just imaginary. Life, itself, doesn’t have any borders.

With sides and borders, we attempt to protect where we ‘belong’ which can mean, we protect who we think we are. We are also convincing those opposite our side to believe what we perceive. So, we think we are right, the other is wrong, and thus, a constant desire for validation.

However, when we start to discover the characters of good and bad are just imaginary, we become compassionate to ourselves by allowing who we are, as well as others by letting them be who they are. We lessen borders into thin lines and accept anyone openly.

The discovery in intimate relationships

The dance of relating brings up everything we don’t want to see. We attempt to find our meaning from others and get disappointed when they seem to interrupt it. When we constantly look for the other person to give meaning to our meaning, we will find out it doesn’t work very well.

When an intimate relationship is not working, we tend to seek for what it means or what it is trying to tell us. We try to change and still not get what we want. However, the moment we let go what we affixed our minds about the relationship, we see that we are okay. We can let go.

Removing the image we want or the character we play allows a presence for others to be who they are. To be in the space of not knowing lets others be who they want. Through our recognition, tremendous amount of relief takes over the pain of images and having meaning.

It is for us to see, there is nothing to hold on or hold back. When we find ourselves in an experience, then, let it be. We can take risks or be vulnerable rather than be untouched by it. We just let the play to play out.

The unbothered life

Life doesn’t care about what we think we are. It lives us alone and lets us be. We are simply experiencing how we perceive life. Moreover, in order to protect the character we have for ourselves, we think all of life is to serve who we are.

However, when there is no character, there is no liking or hating. Though others can resonate with us and there are some who don’t, we can still be at peace within. So, the only solution is to see the truth of what we are which is to see we don’t exist. Funny thing is, it is the last thing we want to see.

The answer of stillness

To be still and numb resolves everything – all the noise of not getting what we want, the character we should or should not be playing, and the search for meanings. When we are stil

Music Guest: Jeska Onderwater

Show summary: For this episode of CMSM, Tiger inspires us to express ourselves in today’s world by allowing the truth of who we are. With guest singer, Jeska Onderwater, we are invited to recognize we are flowing through life to honor the One. We definitely are blessed!

The musings of this episode are:

The opportunity of self-expression in today’s world The obstacle in self-expression Our gifts and talents are a service to the truth Love can flow when we see this

The opportunity of self-expression in today’s world

Tiger shares with us that expressing ourselves in today’s world is an opportunity to just let Life flow. Life’s flow is the expression and everything expresses the One. The moment we recognize the One, we relax, and offer ourselves to Life.

What restricts us to fully express ourselves is our attempt to hold on to who we think we are. It is an ego structure when we believe it is necessary for us to protect our idea of ourselves. However, when we realize that it is an ego play, it can become an opportunity for us to be nearer to the sacred.

We can observe the ego with compassion and love and realize that any disturbance is an innocent misunderstanding. When we see the truth of what’s happening, we simply listen to it knowing in our hearts all is well. We can see that ego’s confusion is also an opportunity for love to be seen.

The obstacle in self-expression

Expressing ourselves in the world can be compared in relationships. The difficulty in relationships happens when we try to get something from it. We believe that when we can get something, we can be ourselves. Tiger says, “You can’t be you. The frustration of being human is thinking there’s something that we want,” (T.S., 2019).

The opportunity of relating is to see what we already are similar to the relationship of life.

When we share love, we feel love. Whatever we give, we give to ourselves. Likewise, when we are trying to take something, we assume we do not have it. It is for us to ask ourselves, what does it feel?

Our gifts and talents are a service to the truth

It is about God, life itself, the miracle of being. Everything that happens is in service to the truth so life can be life. None is in service of who we think we are, none is personal.

Our gift and talents are not about us. Whatever flows thru us, life is asking for it, for our sincerity, our heart, confusion, fear and everything else. We give all back to God. So, we need to stop trying to get credit for what we can give.

Love can flow when we see this

The willingness to observe what is happening is the moment that is allowed to flow. When we acknowledge what pain is about, when we lose our self-importance, love can go there.

Being disturbed lays a foundation for love to be seen. It leads to a deeper discovery of love. However, often times though, we ignore such sincerity and we try harder and harder.

So, we are encouraged to let people see what they see. If there is difficulty, there is something in you that not let them see what they see. Believe in something different.

Tiger adds, “When you see deeply that nobody else sees you or they stop wanting to see you, just let go. If you really want to be seen, what you are asking for is to see the truth. The mind can distort that desire by saying, ‘I want to be loved,’ (T.S. 2019). When that happens, we separate ourselves by wanting someone to love us.

If we see ourselves trying to protect, avoid, defend, we can be honest about why are we so? We can ask ourselves, “Why are you afraid?” The answer often times leads to our fear of losing who we think we are so, see that and we will see we are everything.

In this episode, Tiger Singleton invites us to see what the primary misunderstanding on spirituality is. A common theme of spirituality these days is thinking that our spiritual discovery is about other people which only leads to more judgement. It is also taken as a defense mechanism. So, we are invited to delve into the real meaning of the spiritual practice.

Meditation:

For these quiet minutes, we distinguish the presence, where breath, sensation and everything come from, behind all the noise. This presence is a more expansive idea than ourselves. We are called to allow this moment to be what it is, for life to be life. We let go of our fears and feel grateful for life.

The humble presence that allows everything to move is being bowed to for all time. It is the sacredness of life and now is an opportunity to give life back to life. Just for a moment, we release the resistance that is a fearful misunderstanding. So, we recognize an openness to understand and listen.

Tiger’s musings:

It is wise to recognize that our journey on this path is not our own choosing. It is natural for us to live the unreal but when we realize the futility in holding on to illusion, we humbly submit to a deeper truth.

There is a distinction between our life and life itself. When we say our life, it is a story about us, our past and future. They are ideas that are not actually happening but imagined. Life, on the other hand, is present and alive.

The human struggle is finding our life but through closer examination, it is simply a story or an interpretation of our own experiences that is impossible to articulate. To be really with other humans without their story, we see they are always beautiful. They are amazing to just be alive. Ironically, when they interrupt the story of our life, we believe it is a big problem. We are disturbed when our wants or expectations are not met.

Spirituality, then, helps us to a discovery to see all is one. The primary misunderstanding is believing there are two – life and our life. This mindset of two will always create a problem but life will always win in the competition. Our minds can project that life and our life are separate things.

So, the genuine invitation of spirituality is only speaking to the one who is listening. It is intimate in this way where it only speaks to the one.

We are invited then, to acknowledge that the real human failure is living up to what makes us anxious or fearful. It takes humility within us to make space for life to move rather than us, human beings, trying to get there. Embracing other people’s humanness is embracing our own.