Inside Job

One of the most important relationships in our lives is the one we have with our boss(es). Like any important relationship the quality of the communication between parties greatly affects the emotional well-being of the participants.

That's why it's so frustrating when we struggle to communicate effectively with our boss. Whether it's an acute instance or an ongoing issue when we don't feel heard, seen, or understood it can really jack with our confidence and motivation. We tackle all of this and more on this episode of the Inside Job Podcast.

We discuss the ways differences in expectations, needs, and hierarchy play in communication breakdowns and how to adapt to and overcome each. We also talk about how to work through the dissonance than we experience when the present reality of our relationship with our boss is different than our historic experiences.

As always, we also highlight the ways specificity (or the lack thereof), assumptions, stories, and expectations play in helping and hindering the communication with our bosses.

Finally, we remind our listeners that Eric is NOT named Chris. Yes, effective communication does begin by calling people by their correct name.

Inside Job is brought to you by Nayla Bahri and Eric Johnson.

To learn more about us and our work and to join our mailing list, visit www.insidejobthepodcast.com or email us at [email protected].

To learn more about the ideas and resources discussed in this episode, check out our show notes.

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"This is not what I signed up for."

Who hasn't uttered that phrase at least, oh, a dozen times in their career? Whether in regard to a new job, a new boss, a culture shift, a market event, or just life itself we've all been in situations that differed – sometimes dramatically – from our expectations.

In fact, due to the nature of work and the constant of change it's normal that our work environment shifts and evolves – and we generally notice it most right about the time we have things exactly the way we want them.

Which brings us to the word of the episode – resistance. Despite what we tell ourselves, humans don't like change – and we have any number of habits that we'll kick in to resist it as long as possible. In this episode we dive into our relationship with resistance, and how to overcome it as we adjust to our new reality.

We talk about the importance of naming, specifically, what it is we feel like we're losing (or losing out on) when our situations are different than our expectations and how to accept that we always have a choice when we recognize a need to leave a situation.

We also quote The Eagles, remember the Violent Femmes, and commit to creating an Inside Job Podcast mixed tape. Yes, we are that old.

Inside Job is brought to you by Nayla Bahri and Eric Johnson.

To learn more about us and our work and to join our mailing list, visit www.insidejobthepodcast.com or email us at [email protected].

To learn more about the ideas and resources discussed in this episode, check out our show notes.

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There is an old adage: "We are our own worst critic." While it is often profoundly true, there are also too many instances where we go from being our own critic to being our own bully. So many of us are guilty of kicking our own ass, and it's a cycle that we need to stop.

It's normal to experience disappointment, even in ourselves. It's okay to notice when we are not meeting our expectations. But there is a point at which we become so unkind to ourselves that our behavior becomes self-destructive. That behavior can range from outright self-sabotage to more subtle patterns and bad habits. In this episode we talk about the many ways we kick our own ass, and how we can put an end to it.

We talk about the stories that we tell ourselves about our work and lives, and the often outsized sense of importance we place on our roles in them. We talk about the myth we often believe that our actions are so powerful that they leave an imprint on the world that cannot be undone. We discuss how these narratives distort the way we view ourselves and cause us to catastrophize our situations. There is a difference between saying, "I screwed up", and "I'm a screw up" – and we get into why that difference matters so much in how we treat ourselves.

We also dispel the myth that work must hurt – that we must work ourselves to exhaustion for fear of believing that we haven't worked hard enough. We do not have to work to depletion, we do not have to be perfect, and little of what we do is permanent.

Throughout the episode we offer tips, coaching tools and questions, and perspectives designed to help change the way we approach our situations and, more importantly, ourselves – especially when things aren't going our way. All of this so we can stop kicking our own ass.

Inside Job is brought to you by Nayla Bahri and Eric Johnson.

To learn more about us and our work and to join our mailing list, visit www.insidejobthepodcast.com or email us at [email protected].

To learn more about the ideas and resources discussed in this episode, check out our show notes.

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As the scientific community debates the future of COVID-19, businesses and schools are sending the message that life will start returning to "normal" as summer turns to fall. Many of our clients, friends, and family members (and even ourselves) are therefore grappling with the question, "what does it look like to return to normal?"

As we've had deep discussions around this topic, we've noticed that there are an extremely diverse set of wants around the post-pandemic work environment. Some people want life to look exactly like it did in 2019. Some want it to look exactly like it did in February of 2021. But everybody wants something.

That, it seems, is the real question each of us needs to consider: What are you longing for?

Throughout our episode we explore the origin, and importance, of that question. We also highlight why it's critical to be specific around our needs, wants, and values and why we need to have a deep sense of consciousness and honesty around the role work played – and will play – in satisfying our longing.

We also talk about whether work is a context or an excuse when it comes to our needs, and how to know whether we undersize or oversize the importance of our physical work environment.

Inside Job is brought to you by Nayla Bahri and Eric Johnson.

To learn more about us and our work and to join our mailing list, visit www.insidejobthepodcast.com or email us at [email protected].

To learn more about the ideas and resources discussed in this episode, check out our show notes.

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The quest for more confidence is one of phenomena that brings so many people to coaching.

Most of us want more of it and think other people must be doing something differently than we are to have the belief in themselves that allows them to go for what they want...

So where do we find confidence for ourselves?

Eric and Nayla dive in to talk through what confidence is and isn't, how it helps us, and how to build more of it.

Confidence is not a point at which we arrive, a thing we ultimately achieve.

Rather, it is a muscle we have to exercise regularly, a set of practices we have to engage in to develop courage and belief in ourselves in increments. The search for confidence requires an honest look within, a record of our achievements and a plan to close the gaps we have.

Building confidence is within our reach with consistent effort. Let's talk about it this week on Inside Job.

Inside Job is brought to you by Nayla Bahri and Eric Johnson.

To learn more about us and our work and to join our mailing list, visit www.insidejobthepodcast.com or email us at [email protected].

To learn more about the ideas and resources discussed in this episode, check out our show notes.

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If we're doing the work, we are growing as humans as we grow as leaders. Looking back at the times we regret, those moments that make us feel some shame and awkwardness about the things we did and said, can sometimes help us track our growth.

Nayla gets that gift this week, as she digs into the bad advice she once gave a valued colleague who came asking for support for a promotion: Don't Worry About It.

What happens when we tell someone what to worry about? Who are we protecting, them or us? And how does a problem – even if the worry is the problem – get solved, if we brush it aside?

We talk through how things could go differently now, with a coach's mindset and the benefit of time. We also talk through how the habit of minimizing someone else's concerns can have its roots in how we minimize our own needs and wants.

We explore bearing discomfort (ours and others'), how to use curiosity to lead in these moments, and the art of holding space for others to tell us what they really need.

Join us this week and every week, and don't forget to hit that subscribe button. While you're at it, follow up all over social media at @insidejobpodcast.

Inside Job is brought to you by Nayla Bahri and Eric Johnson.

To learn more about us and our work, visit www.insidejobthepodcast.com or email us at [email protected].

To learn more about the ideas and resources discussed in this episode, check out our show notes.

Let's connect!

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We'd love to hear from you.

Over the course of a long career, we will all have beginnings and endings as we move in and out of roles and organizations.

This week, we talk about what's lost when something comes to and, and start by hearing about Eric's current experience as he ends a long tenure in one organization and creates his next step.

Even when we seek change – and make it happen – we have to acknowledge that something is left behind and that represents some loss.

We talk through the rich emotions that accompany change and how we can use time as a resource to help us understand we're learning about ourselves as we transition.

We offer some practical tools to help us manage transitions including appreciation of the people who helped shape this experience, celebration and ceremony, and the personal documentation of how we've gotten better as a result of this change.

Inside Job is brought to you by Nayla Bahri and Eric Johnson.

To learn more about us and our work, visit www.insidejobthepodcast.com or email us at [email protected].

To learn more about the ideas and resources discussed in this episode, check out our show notes.

Let's connect!

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We'd love to hear from you.

"You can do it later…"

"A little more sleep is more important than that workout…"

"You're great at the last-minute projects, you can start it next week…"

We're all quite skilled at the art of negotiating with ourselves, talking ourselves in and out of habits and actions that would move us towards our goals.

Whether you're talking yourself out of applying for a job you're interested in, or talking yourself into spending just a few more minutes on YouTube because you had a tough morning, when we're paying attention, we can see this habit at work.

This week we talk through how to get more skilled at noticing how we hold ourselves back, make excuses for ourselves, or hide when we negotiate with ourselves.

We offer ideas to notice how frequently we engage in the personal negotiation and a shift to use negotiation as a tool to challenge and uphold yourself to be the best version of you.

And, Nayla gets to use one of her favorite quotes: we can learn to talk to ourselves more than we listen to ourselves.

Inside Job is brought to you by Nayla Bahri and Eric Johnson.

To learn more about us and our work, visit www.insidejobthepodcast.com or email us at [email protected].

To learn more about the ideas and resources discussed in this episode, check out our show notes.

Let's connect!

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We'd love to hear from you.

Fear. As much as we might hate to admit it, it's a core part of our suite of emotions. It's an integral part of the human experience.

Yet from a young age we're taught to either ignore it or fight it. "Kick fear in the teeth," right? Well, we would prefer not to go to war with ourselves, especially over something that's a biological imperative. We would rather work with it instead.

Throughout this episode we talk about how fear is information, and it typically comes from a good place – a place of self-protection. Fear is an invitation to be curious about what our minds and bodies are telling us. We draw a distinction between a fear and a threat, and why it's crucial to answer the question, "what form is the threat taking?"

We also talk about the rudeness of Cheetos and cough drops, and why Eric is like the Tootsie Pop Owl.

Inside Job is brought to you by Nayla Bahri and Eric Johnson.

To learn more about us and our work, visit www.insidejobthepodcast.com or email us at [email protected].

To learn more about the ideas and resources discussed in this episode, check out our show notes.

Let's connect!

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We'd love to hear from you.

We believe wholeheartedly that if you kick ass at work you deserve something for it.

You deserve to be seen, you deserve to be recognized, and you deserve credit.

Actually, it's better than "deserved" – you need to get what you have "earned".

Not receiving credit for damn fine work is one of the more common tensions we hear from our clients. Whether it be promotions, special assignments, money, or public recognition meaningful credit can take many forms, so why do we treat it as a scarce resource?

Unfortunately the reality is that we often need to ask for the credit we have earned, which is a hard pill to swallow for many. Some of the most talented people are humble to a fault, and asking for credit is akin to the eighth cardinal sin. Beyond that, there are stories we tell ourselves about credit, such as:

• My gain is someone else's loss
• There is no "I" in team, and I'm not supposed to stand out
• If we keep our head down and our work up we'll get noticed

In this episode of the Inside Job Podcast we break all of this down and more. We dig into the differences between humility, confidence, and arrogance and highlight how it's possible to both be humble and earn recognition. We also tear apart the origin stories behind the myths that lead us to believe we don't deserve credit above our steady paycheck.

We know it's hard to ask for attention, but if you kick ass you should be rewarded for it. After all, you've earned it. So don't keep yourself in a cage – allow yourself the space to get noticed and applauded. We'll help you figure out how.

Inside Job is brought to you by Nayla Bahri and Eric Johnson.

To learn more about us and our work, visit www.insidejobthepodcast.com or email us at [email protected].

To learn more about the ideas and resources discussed in this episode, check out our show notes.

Let's connect!

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We'd love to hear from you.