Inside the Minds Eye

My dad was an NFL player, and I hated playing football. I dreaded every practice, prayed nobody would run my way, and wanted to quit after freshman year. Then a fractured foot pulled me off the field, and watching from the sidelines changed everything.

In this episode, I share the story of my high school football years, what I saw when I finally got out of the game, and how the same thing happened to me this week after coming back to work from 10 days away getting married.

We talk about:

- Growing up with an NFL dad and the pressure to play

- Football anxiety and dreading Sunday nights

- How a fractured foot changed my whole perspective

- Why distance from "the game" gives you clarity

- Losing self-consciousness in meetings and at work

- Why overthinking and ego make everything feel scarier than it is

- Meditation, self-examination, and the question "what is an Adam?"

If you're dreading something you feel like you "should" be doing, or you're stuck inside a job or organization you want to improve, I hope this helps.

CHAPTERS

0:00 My dad was an NFL player

0:17 Why Dad wouldn't let me play until high school

0:42 High school football: I hated it

1:06 Dreading practice and praying nobody came near me

1:39 Wanting to quit, then trying again sophomore year

2:05 Sunday night dread and Curb Your Enthusiasm

2:48 The fractured foot

3:21 The best news of my life: out for six weeks

3:53 Watching the game from the sidelines

4:56 Putting the pads back on

6:04 What changed: it wasn't as big as my mind made it

6:33 Why I'm telling this story

6:56 My first meeting back at work after getting married

8:00 Why I overthink: the ego mind

8:31 What is an Adam? Finding no "me" behind the eyes

10:16 Take yourself out of the game

11:15 Who this might help

11:48 Heading into the next meeting

Subscribe to Inside the Mind's Eye for more conversations on consciousness, awareness, non-duality, and philosophy.

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I talk about how self-inquiry turns into surrender, why "letting go" isn't something a person can do, and what it's like when decisions start making themselves.

www.InsideTheMindsEye.com

MENTIONED

"Awareness" by Anthony de Mello

CHAPTERS

0:00 Meditation is a self-involved practice

0:42 Digging into "who am I?"

1:29 From self-involved to selfless

1:36 My story: obsessed with the mechanics of the mind

2:56 You think you're driving, then you're being driven

3:32 When the practice just goes away

4:01 There's never a clear answer on what to do

4:45 Meditation means surrender

5:54 Why "letting go" isn't something you can do

6:44 Allowance and Anthony de Mello's Awareness

7:49 Seeing reality through awareness

8:42 The stories you tell yourself

9:36 Critical thinking is part of meditation

12:44 Realizing there's no one making decisions

14:39 When you hit a wall, return to awareness

15:02 What starts as self-inquiry becomes selfless

15:37 The world as a collaborative light show

16:00 Everybody has their own way

17:01 Why I record while driving

Recorded the day before I left to get married. I talk about the paradox at the center of non-duality: thoughts, feelings, and actions arise on their own, yet the consequences of my choices are still mine. I also talk about using drugs to control how I felt, building a sober life around needing no one, and my eventual collapse at seven years sober.

In this episode:

- The paradox: no one is doing anything, and I'm responsible

- Why "what happens behind my eyes" is my territory

- Why I never understood marriage and what changed

- Addiction, recovery, and the need to control how I feel

- The fear of loss, impermanence, and saying goodbye

- The serenity prayer finally making sense

www.InsideTheMindsEye.com

00:00 There's nobody doing anything, and yet I'm responsible

02:06 My territory: what happens behind my eyes

02:32 Leaving to get married tomorrow

04:07 Why I never understood marriage

06:06 Would you love her if she never changed?

07:14 Never planning a life with people

08:00 Addiction: using so I'd be okay with or without anyone

08:41 Getting sober and building a life that needs no one

11:02 The bottom falls out at seven years sober

12:22 What scares me: loving people I can't control

13:30 Learning to accept that people come and go

15:16 Growing comfortable with things as they are

17:01 Your life is your business

17:39 The serenity prayer finally makes sense

18:55 Pulling up to work, headed to the wedding

Most of my experience feels like floating awareness. There's a body, movements happen, thoughts and feelings come and go, but there's nobody really here. There's just what's happening. And inside of that, I play the games of father, partner, worker, and friend.

In this episode, I talk through an ordinary day to get some perspective on what I'm doing with my time.

www.InsideTheMindsEye.com

I check in on the Discord most mornings and share what's going on. Come hang: https://discord.gg/6fcu9PSdRJ

A professional golfer shares how he rebuilt his life after years of inconsistency and sleepless nights.

Watch this Episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/z9Th2mIoDSw

Peter's YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@CrooniesCorner

www.InsideTheMindsEye.com

Pain of Discipline MUSIC VIDEO!!! by Yoshi 2.0: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vr6yKYnXpyU

CHAPTERS

00:00 Two Sons of Pro Athletes

01:17 Starting From Zero

03:59 Social Media, Lessons & Getting Back on the Course

06:06 Playing the Georgia Open

07:14 Why He Stopped Playing

09:23 It Had to Be Earned

10:04 Vision: One Day Like All Days

12:08 The Man I Needed to Become

13:01 Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired

16:04 Seeking Counsel & Finding His Aim

18:08 Discipline, Honesty, No More Conceding

19:56 Adam's 7:30pm Wake-Up Call

22:25 The Pain of Discipline vs. the Pain of Regret

23:56 What Finally Clicked: Aim & Action

25:52 Racing Mind, Sleepless Nights

28:59 The First Tournament Without Sleeping Pills

29:27 Nothing More Spiritual Than Constructive Action

30:22 Don't Make Decisions Out of Darkness

32:18 Rinse and Repeat: Constant Reinvention

33:09 The Navy SEAL Documentary

35:12 Men Are Competitive Creatures

39:10 The Locker Room as a Microcosm of Life

41:09 "There's This Animal in Me"

42:40 Being Small Helps No One

45:19 Get Back on the Dance Floor

What happens when the drugs and alcohol are gone, but you're bored, angry, anxious, and afraid?

For some of us, removing the substance doesn't solve the problem. The thinking, emotional patterns, and ways of being continue to keep us trapped.

In this episode, we talk about why removing alcohol or drugs isn’t enough to create a new life, how some people can use substances normally while others can’t, and the process of learning how to live free in sobriety.

We land at one question that can change everything:

"What do I have to do?"

We also talk about mentorship, discipline, structure, telling the truth, emotional discomfort, seeking professional help, and what it feels like to become comfortable in your own skin.

If you're sober but miserable, struggling in recovery, or wondering what comes after getting clean, we hope this conversation can help.

www.InsideTheMindsEye.com

Peter Croonquist: YouTube- @CrooniesCorner IG- @croonie18

Peter (@CrooniesCorner) shares his experience hitting rock bottom, the awakening that allowed him to take action, and how doing hard things over instant gratification has shaped the last year of his life.

In this episode, we talk about morning routine/intuition/aim, ego vs. soul's calling, service and surrender, and facing the fear of putting yourself out there.

Follow Peter on his social media pages for golf tips and insight:

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@CrooniesCorner

Instagram: @croonie18

Thanks for watching/listening!

www.insidethemindseye.com

I was a rapper, an app developer, and a 12-step recovery guy. Covid put us in lock down and I felt free from fear/anxiety for the first time in probably ever.

In this talk, I share some stories about what my life was like from 2019-2021 before moving in with Melissa and Eli.

Link to Self Will Run: Riot - https://on.soundcloud.com/Ymqt5imNWCSJRuinrk

Link to Self Will Run: Hope - https://on.soundcloud.com/Vm4ufpHEXuj6DorAx9

Link to Croonie's Corner - https://www.youtube.com/ @CrooniesCorner

00:00 Why I'm telling this story

01:34 Self Will Run

02:19 COVID gave me permission to exist

05:11 The experiment: what if everyone is on my side?

06:51 Three weeks in a U-Haul from Boston to Portland

08:39 Shared Space and living entirely in my head

10:17 The guy I swore I'd never talk to

12:28 Arrested for an expired tag

13:42 Everything Was Because of Me

14:38 Calling Peter

17:36 Six months with a guru

18:16 The text that ended the Thailand trip

19:55 Forgetting Thailand: Moving to Atlanta

21:14 Death Valley, Vegas, and the drive home

22:09 Stay-at-home dad, EverQuest, and the Faceless

24:24 The monk at the Grand Canyon

26:17 Kundalini

27:53 Get out of the car and go with him

29:25 What's next and the end of Effing the Ineffable

31:18 The making of Rocky

31:58 Outro Self Will Run "Dreams"

www.InsideTheMindsEye.com

The illusion of free will, transcendent states of being, the fear of death, and falling into the void.

Listen/Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/EJ24PF8naME

Sam Harris on the Illusion of Free-Will: https://youtu.be/7t_Uyi9bNS4?si=x2lX_GWWSUEmMZCK

Sam Harris Describes Concepts Discussed in this Video: https://youtu.be/0dwD6XQ9Tsw?si=WJYqLUQYb7P60TJZ&t=245

If you’re interested in listening or sharing audio reflections throughout the day, join us on discord: https://discord.gg/uZ4Jx9mddy

Subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/@insidethemindseye1

Website: https://insidethemindseye.com/

The way we experience the world is changing and I'm not sure how real this new reality is.

If you’re interested in listening or sharing audio reflections throughout the day, join us on discord: https://discord.gg/uZ4Jx9mddy

On YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@insidethemindseye1

Website: https://insidethemindseye.com/