Insights with Us

Do you ever get stuck in an old pattern? React to something in your present moment in that way that you wish you hadn’t? Do you and your partner snap at each other or even blow up at each other and it feels like you can’t stop? In this episode, I explore some of the research behind what creates wedges in relationships and increased fighting within your conflict or disagreement. 

You are not alone, these are common interactions within any relationship, but if you can build language around what these patterns are, you have a better chance of navigating them without exploding at the people you love.

Join me, and let’s see if we can build insight today.

What happens when we pull away from intellectualizing and “logical” thought, and instead take a moment to notice our reactions and show up in our relationships in a truly relational way? Join me as I learn what it means to build honest and real connection within a community with William from Inventive Wellness. We dive deep into regenerative connection, grounding within the group instead of focusing on the individual, and how to show up in this world as yourself.

What you can expect from this episode:

3:26 Shifting life plans towards community connection

5:00 Emergent language and relational ecology

7:30 Separating from thought based reactions

10:20 Get out of processing and into process

16:45 The Mindfulness Revolution 

21:00 Coregulation and the shared nervous system

31:30 Regenerative connection and unconditionality

41:00 Accepting the unknowing of life

52:00 Find coherence in the chaos

59:44 Accepting others and your experience

Do you try to convince yourself not to be anxious when you have a big life change? Do people tell you you should be happy or excited about what's happening, when really all you're feeling is dread or panic? You're not alone.

There are a lot of different reasons leading to these adverse or contrary reactions. Listen in as I explore a big change in my life and the insights I've built around my reactions followed by ways to navigate it and how to give yourself grace when you have no motivation.

What you can expect from this episode:

2:08 Change can be difficult, and we all respond differently 

5:20 Different layers behind our reactions

9:09 Change as a catalyst for adverse reactions

10:47 Mantra for navigating stress

 14:45 Mental Health Hacks when you're feeling off 

18:20 A meditation to help you slow down and settle in to the good

And yes, I dropped the season from the episode name, I decided it was arbitrary and I didn't need it. 

How do you get out of your head? How do you share gratitude? How do you slow down and remember what life has to offer?

Listen to an powerful advocate of slowing down and enjoying the little moments, and an influential person in my life. My coach, my counselor, Mr Gathercole. He spent most of his career working overseas as a school counselor and is now retired and working as a college admissions counselor helping young adults find their spark. 

What to expect from this episode:

2:25 How did you become a school counselor?

5:51 Living abroad

9:09 Lightbulb moments from your career

14:15 Learning from and trying to understand each other

22:30 We tend to underestimate ourselves

27:57 What makes you, you?

30:53 What are you grateful for?

36:04 How to get out of the details and enjoy existence?

43:00 Following dreams, chronic pain, and gratitude

What does it mean to show up as your true self? What does showing up authentically mean? Some assume it’s being the same way 100% of the time and never shifting or changing depending on the situation, but this does not allow for flexibility within your experience. Join me as I talk about the differences in authenticity and how to find balance within your social circles. 

What to expect in this episode:

1:15 Putting on a mask and pretending

2:40 Aggressive authenticity

4:08 We are all different people with different needs

5:00 Listening to the inner voice

6:20 Examples of compassionate authenticity

9:10 Compassionate Authenticity

9:39 How do I know what is authentic for me? 

11:48 Give people space to show up. It’s okay to walk away if they can’t.

14:00 Find your safe people

“It is not normal to be in pain, it has just been normalized.” 

Have you ever had an experience that felt just awful, and then you share it with a friend, and you end up laughing about it? Us too. In today’s episode, I connect with the author of the Awfully Hilarious series, Heather Hendrie. We talk about her books, building connection through discomfort, being seen, and how to navigate the throws of being human.

Learn more about Awfully Hilarious at: www.awfullyhilarious.com

Learn more about Heather Hendrie at: www.heatherhendrie.com

Socials:

@awfullyhilarious

@heather.hendrie

What you can expect from this episode:

00:55 Introductions with Heather Hendrie

2:56 What are the Awfully Hilarious books? 

7:48 It’s okay to talk about women’s health

12:20 Who are we behind the mask? Transpersonal therapy.

16:20 Overcoming the fear of talking about taboo topics

23:14 Talking openly helps us all be ourselves, no matter who you are

28:00 Connection matters, and therapy might be the only connection for some

29:15 More about the authors of the short stories in Awfully Hilarious

34:40 Misdiagnosis in women’s health and PMDD

43:40 You are trying hard enough, it isn’t always the answer to try harder.

47:00 Blue Zones and Connection Points

50:00 Hope for our future and future generations

55:30 Read Awfully Hilarious, and a plug for future projects

Resources from this episode:

Lucy Peach - The Period Queen

Shalene Gupta - The Cycle 

Liz Plank - For the Love of Men

Shopping for these amazing books:

If you’d like to buy the books and are in North America:

https://bookshop.org/a/99252/9781738803507

https://bookshop.org/a/99252/9781738803521

If you live internationally, you can find the books here:

awfully hilarious pp paperback

https://amzn.to/3YoN2jP

" kindle

https://amzn.to/3YjXp7r

awfully hilarious stories paperback

https://amzn.to/3zRsZkJ

" kindle

https://amzn.to/3BWmH3M

We are all raised to think, act, and believe a certain way. What if you realize how you were raised does not fit who you are? Would you continue to pretend to be someone you’re not, or would you find a way to be authentically you? In this episode, I speak with a kind and accepting human who broke free from the rules of others and built a life of freedom and safety while helping others feel the same. Join myself and Krisa Gonna L’Whor as we explore freedom, building insight into our authentic selves, and the strength it takes to be that person, even when the world is telling you not to be. 

Check Socials for Upcoming Events:

@krisagonna 

Watch Krisa’s Ted Talk here: https://youtu.be/c28KESnrzEo?si=mEqOku9qoBac1Ppy

Watch Krisa’s animated movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhWfVF0nP4I

What you can expect from this episode: 

2:00 Introductions 

3:30 Rules we are taught as children to survive 

5:50 Making sense of the world

12:30 Unspoken moments of safety

16:35 Building and understanding who you are, away from rules

 22:08 Authenticity

26:50 Changing the rules and trusting it will get better

35:00 What helps you feel safe?

44:50 Dream big, but know our reality

50:22 A message for our allies: be a safe person (especially during holidays)

56:00 Finding small spaces where you feel safe and build from there

True and deep friendships are great, but how do you even find them? Once you think you’ve found one, how do you strengthen it? What does it mean to be yourself, even if you feel like being who you are won’t be accepted? Listen to this episode on friendship and maybe find some answers. 

What you can expect from this episode:

1:48 Separate yourself from the situation

3:40 Vulnerability as a factor in friendship

9:00 Going through similar seasons together

11:00 The connection between trust and vulnerability

15:04 Do you have any advice for anyone trying to build friendships?

19:46 Feeling safe to be yourself

29:52 Find your space first, make friends second

35:55 Having uncomfortable conversations helps friendships grow

38:45 Do you have any advice for your younger self?

50:55 Your friendships can help you process what’s happening in your life

Numerous people this week have asked me the same questions over and over: Why are we so separate? Why is there so much hate? How can we build a better world when we are so divided? Today I will explore this separation and what it would mean to find connection and acceptance. 

1:50 Intentions for this episode

2:55 Division across the American nation

3:38 Staying inside our bubbles feels safe, but then we lose insight and understanding

6:54 Having conversations with people different from us is how we know ourselves and the world

10:45 Finding your own faith, and accepting others living their faith their own way

13:00 A little aside on supporting the life of a child

13:57 Everyone’s opinion matters, every life matters

15:30 Look to your leaders and notice their language

16:50 I will fight for what choice gives the most people the most freedom

17:45 Find one safe person to start conversing with

What do your friendships look like? Do you want closer friendships? Do you want an incredible example of what a close friendship can look like? Today I am joined by two people who have been friends for almost 30 years. We talk about going through the seasons, growing older together, and staying connected no matter what changes in our lives. I’ve had so many people tell me, “I’m never going to be open or vulnerable like that, it’s just how things are,” but what if it doesn’t have to be like that? What if you could choose? Find some curiosity and join us today. 

What you can expect from this episode:

3:02 How do you view friendships?

10:30 Being able to communicate who we are and accepting our differences

12:40 The story of a decade-long friendship

14:30 Bonding over shared experiences

17:43 Spending time together

21:30 How do you keep the friendship alive over time?

29:41 Pure, wholesome love without barriers

32:50 Showing up as yourself in the friendship

42:15 The importance of transparency 

46:48 We all hate walking on eggshells