Excavating the True Self: Discovering the Values That Shape Our Leadership

Show Notes

In this episode of the INSPIRE Podcast, Drew Lawson and Steve Nadig continue their exploration of Identity and Not Identity by turning inward—to the heart of our True Self. After unpacking false and unwanted identities in earlier episodes, they now focus on the inner circle: clarifying the core values that define who we are and guide how we lead.

Drew introduces his decades-in-the-making Values Clarification Framework, a set of reflective exercises designed to surface the words and energies that bring us most alive. Together, Drew and Steve model the process in real time—sharing candid stories, honest self-reflections, and even a few laughs as they rediscover what matters most.

Steve shares how altruism has shaped his life and leadership, while Drew reveals his distilled values of inspiration, whimsy, and embrace—and how they serve as antidotes to his “hyper-rational” saboteur. Their dialogue highlights the tension between our protective patterns and our authentic energy, showing that the key to growth isn’t perfection but awareness.

From Viktor Frankl to Brené Brown, from traffic metaphors to Japanese proverbs, the conversation is both practical and deeply human. As Drew reminds us, quoting Daniel Harkavy:

“Leadership is the decisions we make and the influence we have. When those decisions come from our true identity, that’s our calling.” 🔑 Key Takeaways

• Slowing down to speed up: Reflection fuels authentic action.

• Values as a lens: Clarity brings alignment to choices and relationships.

• Energy matters: Fear drains, love replenishes.

• Less is more: Focus on one to three guiding values.

• Authenticity over activity: True leadership flows from identity, not image.

Memorable Quotes “To unearth buried treasure, we have to dig deep into our soul.” — Drew Lawson “You can’t lead authentically until you’ve done this work.” — Steve Nadig “One is fear and me; the other is love and we.” — Drew Lawson

 

Reflection Prompt

What’s one value that energizes you when you live it—and drains you when you ignore it?

 

Resources Mentioned

• Daniel Harkavy — Becoming a Coaching Leader

• Brené Brown — Dare to Lead

• Viktor Frankl — Man’s Search for Meaning

• Building Champions Values Clarification Tool

 

In this episode of the INSPIRE podcast, Drew Lawson turns to the innermost circle of identity: the True Self. Building on earlier conversations about False Selves and Unwanted Selves, this episode invites listeners to step beyond performance, approval, and shame, and discover the essence of who they are beneath the noise—the part of us that is whole, beloved, and anchored in God.

 

With wisdom from voices like Thomas Merton and Richard Rohr, Drew explores the difference between the False Self (driven by control and striving), the Unwanted Selves (voices of shame and sabotage), and the True Self (the light and gold within that cannot be tarnished). He highlights why this matters for leadership and life: authenticity sustains influence, resilience grows from identity not activity, and belovedness fuels courage, creativity, and connection.

 

The conversation then turns practical, offering first practices for uncovering and living from the True Self:

 

• Values Clarification and purpose statement creation.

• Anthem writing as a way to ground identity.

• Drawing from Positive Intelligence, the Sage Powers of empathy, curiosity, innovation, navigation, and action as expressions of the True Self—integrated with the MetaSkills Wheel of Intention.

• Using strengths frameworks (Gallup, Strengths Profile, LCP competencies) to celebrate gifts instead of obsessing over deficits.

• Learning self-compassion, befriending saboteurs, and embracing our common humanity.

 

 

Drew closes with a reflective invitation: “What is one moment you’ve felt most alive, most yourself? What was present in you?”

 

This episode is both a gentle uncovering and a bold calling—to live from the True Self and to lead with presence, peace, and purpose.

In this episode of INSPIRE: Life and Leadership Conversations That Go Deeper, Drew Lawson and Steve continue their exploration of identity by diving into the Unwanted Selves and Exiled Parts we often try to hide. Using Drew’s three-circle bullseye framework, they name the difference between False Selves (who we pretend to be), Unwanted Selves(who we don’t want to be), and the True Self (who we’re created to be).

 

Drawing from Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Brené Brown’s work on shame, Drew and Steve unpack how unwanted selves—the voices of shame and wounds from our formative years—often drive us into false identities. They explore the “Big Brother” metaphor, showing how protective identities like the Achiever, Pleaser, or Perfectionist try to keep us safe by covering up fears of being seen as stupid, incompetent, not enough, or lazy.

 

The conversation also highlights the psychology of the Wounded Child (the vulnerable, shamed parts of us) and the Adaptive Child (the protective strategies we learned to survive). These patterns, while once necessary, can keep us disconnected from joy, creativity, and love if left unexamined.

 

Through stories, metaphors, and reflection questions, this episode invites listeners to:

 

• Recognize the unwanted voices they carry.

• Understand the cost of exiling parts of themselves.

• Begin practicing compassion and integration—naming, noticing, and nurturing the exiled parts so the True Self can lead with wisdom and wholeness.

 

 

Far from being unworthy, these unwanted selves point us toward healing, self-compassion, and the journey from brokenness to belovedness.

In this episode, Steve and Drew dive deep into the world of inner critics, saboteurs, and the unseen voices that shape our thoughts, behaviors, and identities. Building on their previous conversations, they explore the nine saboteurs from Positive Intelligence, revealing how these primitive, unskilled inner voices—often rooted in childhood—drive patterns of anxiety, avoidance, and self-judgment.

You’ll hear about:

• The origins and archetypes of saboteurs like the Hyper-Rational, Avoider, and Pleaser.

• The link between saboteurs and stress responses (fight, flight, tend-and-befriend).

• The core fears that drive our reactive habits: fear of failure, not being enough, and not being loved.

 • Strategies for identifying and engaging with saboteurs using humor, mindfulness, and compassion.

• Tools like “wanted posters,” the “Batman effect,” and third-person self-talk to build perspective and resilience.

Drew introduces powerful frameworks like the mansion metaphor and Drew’s 3 Circles, while Steve offers personal color commentary with stories of his “Yes Man” and “See No Evil” saboteurs. The episode is rich with references—from Abraham Lincoln’s reflective leadership to Harry Potter and The Legend of Bagger Vance—all illuminating how to move from self-sabotage to self-leadership.

Homework / Reflection Prompts:

• Name and notice your inner critics throughout the day.

• Create a “wanted poster” for your top saboteur.

• Use mindfulness moments (taste, smell, breath) to switch off autopilot.

 • Try third-person self-talk to reduce reactivity in emotionally charged moments.

This episode blends neuroscience, coaching, and real-life experience to help you recognize, disarm, and even appreciate the parts of you that try to protect—but sometimes hold you back.

Books:

1. “Chatter” & "Shift"– Ethan Kross
2. “The Untethered Soul” – Michael A. Singer
3. “Positive Intelligence” – Shirzad Chamine
4. “No Bad Parts” & "Intro to IFS" – Richard Schwartz
5. "Parts of ME"--Wyman
6. "Boundaries for your soul"-Cook & Miller

In this episode, Drew and Steve dive deep into the dynamics of false and unwanted identities that emerge from core fears—failure, unworthiness, and the need for love. They explore how these fears shape reactive behaviors like fight, flight, and tend-and-befriend responses, drawing on neuroscience, Positive Intelligence (Shirzad Chamine), and leadership models like the Leadership Circle and DISC.

The conversation weaves through practical insights on how these false identities impact personal growth and leadership, including the role of the inner critic (or “Judge”), survival mechanisms, and the stress-driven tendencies of high performers. Drew shares brain science analogies (human vs. rabbit brain), real-world coaching experiences, and creative strategies like naming inner saboteurs to create psychological distance. Together, they emphasize the importance of mindfulness, internal safety, and reclaiming identity from external validation.

Episode 1: Identity and Not Identity – "Shedding the Backpack"

In the debut episode of the INSPIRE podcast, Drew and Steve dive deep into the powerful theme of identity—what it is, what it isn’t, and why it matters for anyone seeking authentic personal growth and effective leadership.

Using a three-circle model of the self—True Self, Unwanted Self, and False Self—they explore how these layers shape our behavior, decisions, and sense of purpose. They introduce the concept of “Not Identity”—the noisy, often unconscious parts of us that aren’t truly who we are, but have learned to perform, protect, or please.

Steve shares his journey of grappling with “not identity” and how his growing clarity around his core identity has brought more inner calm. Drew and Steve offer metaphors that bring the conversation to life, including the image of a mountain climber reaching the summit, unable to enjoy the view while still carrying a heavy backpack of false expectations and inner critics.

They also unpack the neuroscience of change, including neuroplasticity, and discuss how naming our “saboteurs” (false selves) can help us shed old patterns and reclaim joy, purpose, and clarity. This episode sets the stage for the season ahead, offering a compelling and compassionate framework for understanding who we are—and who we are not.

In this very first episode of the INSPIRE Podcast, executive coach Drew Lawson welcomes listeners into a new kind of conversation — one that goes deeper into what it means to live and lead with intention, curiosity, and depth. Joined by his assistant Terence, Drew introduces the seven foundational themes of the podcast, each represented by a letter in the acronym I.N.S.P.I.R.E.:

Identity, Not Identity, Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Relational, and Emotional.

 

Through a warm and authentic dialogue, they explore how each theme shows up in leadership and life, and how these categories will shape future episodes. You’ll also hear a playful, real-time coaching tool (the coaching wheel) in action as Terence maps out his current focus areas — making this a grounded and relatable kickoff to what promises to be a meaningful journey.

 

Whether you’re leading a team, navigating change, or just curious about how to grow as a person, this episode sets the tone for reflection, honesty, and inspiration.