Inspiring Marriages

Inspiring Marriages: Red Flags During Courtship

Welcome to the Inspiring Marriages Podcast. We are Jeff and Teresa Fields. The music that you heard during our intro was composed and recorded by our son, Joseph Taylor Fields.

We have been happily married for 32 years. We have 3 wonderful grown children, a fantastic son-in-love and a precious grand baby.

As we share our story, our desire is to inspire couples to build their friendships and thus build their marriages in all areas: spiritually, emotionally, romantically and physically.

Call to Action #1

Go to our web page inspiringmarriages.net. There you can access all of our previous episodes including all the show notes. Below the episodes, there is a “keep in touch” section. There you can sign up to receive our latest offerings for free.

https://inspiringmarriages.net/

Courtship …

Courtship — it is a period where a man and a woman dedicate themselves to learn more about each other and to seek God together to determine if it is God’s will for them to get married.

14 Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? 15 What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever? 2 Corinthians 6:14-15 (NLT)

14 Do not ·join yourselves to [become partners with; Lbe mismatched/unevenly yoked with] unbelievers. ·Good and bad do not belong together For what partnership has righteousness and wickedness/lawlessness?]. Light and darkness cannot share together [Or what fellowship/partnership can light have with darkness?]. 15How can Christ and Belial [Cthe devil; Satan] have any agreement [harmony; accord] What can a believer ·have together [share in common] with a nonbeliever? 2 Corinthians 6:14-15 (EXB)

Yoked: joined, coupled

Red Flags:

1. Anger – not dealing with frustration correctly. How do they act when they are disappointed? Retreat? Pout? Shout? Slam doors? Cry? Violence?

2. Complainer – takes no responsibility.

3. Gossiper – beware of using “prayer requests” to gossip.

4. Backbiter One who slanders or speaks ill of the absent.

5. Clingy – insecure when you are apart.

Call to Action #2

You can listen to our audio podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify and Amazon podcast. Please leave us a review. You can watch this podcast on YouTube. Search for the Inspiring Marriages channel. You can even listen to our podcast using your smart devices. Just say

“Alexa, play the Inspiring Marriage Podcast.”

Continuing our story: Courtship Story

2nd Date: Atlanta Zoo and Steven Curtis Chapman concert

https://youtu.be/R27akb5QKKA?si=HI32YqH0YszTXpqd

Friendship builder:

Go on a walk together and TALK.

Call to Action #3

You can connect with us on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube.

Please like, follow and subscribe. You can also connect with us via email at [email protected]. You can leave questions and suggestions on how to make this podcast better and what topics you would like us to explore

HUSBANDS and WIFES ARE FRIENDS FOR LIFE!

Welcome to the Inspiring Marriages Podcast.  We are Jeff and Teresa Fields.   The music that you heard during our intro was composed and recorded by our son, Joseph Taylor Fields.

We have been happily married for 32 years.  We have 3 wonderful grown children, a fantastic son-in-love, and a precious grandbaby.

As we share our story, our desire is to inspire couples to build their friendships and thus build their marriages in all areas: spiritually, emotionally, romantically and physically.  

If you go to our web page inspiringmarriages.net, you can access all of our previous episodes including all the show notes.  Below the episodes, there is a “keep in touch” section. There you can sign up to receive our latest offerings for free.

https://inspiringmarriages.net/

Courtship …

Courtship — it is a period where a man and a woman dedicat themselves to learn more about each other and to seek God together to determine if it is God’s will for them to get married. 

“Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?”  Amos 3:3 (NLT)

1.     Where are we going to worship (which church are we going to attend and serve?)

2.    Where are we going to live now and in the future? Keep in mind that if one or both have children from a previous relationship, then options are limited.

3.    Kids? If so, how many? What kind of education will we give them: public, private, homeschool?

4.    Will both of you keep working? Will that change after children? The amount of debt is a factor.

5.    Show each other your written vision and goals.  Share dreams.

“just because a couple has been married a long time, doesn’t

mean they have Holy Matrimony. They may share in paying the bills or raising

the kids, but they are not committed to building each other’s God ordained

hopes and dreams”.  – Mylon and Christi LeFevre “The Honeymoon is Over, Now What?” – page 10.

The Honeymoon is Over, Now What? - BOOK – Mylon Le Fevre Ministries

Red Flags:

1.      Things will just “work themselves out”.

2.     Overreacting to one of the areas of agreement above – soulish reaction

3.     Controller – you can’t be yourself. Discounting your feelings, dreams, ambitions, goals,

visions.

1.      Romantic restaurant

2.    A Dozen Red Roses

3.    1st date present -- Phil Keaggy "Beyond Nature" Cassette

Beyond Nature - Wikipedia

4.    Conversation

5.    Washing Teresa’s feet – commitment to serve

You can listen to our audio podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify and Amazon podcast. Please leave us a review.  You can watch this podcast on YouTube. Search for the Inspiring Marriages channel. You can even listen to our podcast using your smart devices. Just say “Alexa, play the Inspiring Marriage Podcast.”

Friendship builder:

Over a weekend, binge a favorite show/movie series that you both love

You can connect with us on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube.

Please like, follow and subscribe.  You can also connect with us via email at [email protected].  You can leave questions and suggestions on how to make this podcast better and what topics you would like us to explore.

#marriage #love #courtship #sacrifice

Welcome to the Inspiring Marriages Podcast.  We are Jeff and Teresa Fields.   The music that you heard during our intro was composed and recorded by our son, Joseph Taylor Fields.

We have been happily married for 32 years.  We have 3 wonderful grown children, a fantastic son-in-love and a precious grand baby.

As we share our story, our desire is to inspire couples to build their friendships and thus build their marriages in all areas: spiritually, emotionally, romantically and physically.  

Go to our web page inspiringmarriages.net. There you can access all of our previous episodes including all the show notes.  Below the episodes, there is a “keep in touch” section. There you can sign up to receive our latest offerings for free.

https://inspiringmarriages.net/

Courtship Never Ends

Webster1828 COURTSHIP, noun

1. The act of soliciting favor.

2. The act of wooing in love; solicitation of a woman to marriage.

SOLICITA'TION, noun

1. Earnest request; a seeking to obtain something from another with some degree of zeal and earnestness

FA'VOR, noun [Latin favor faveo.]

1. Kind regard; kindness; countenance; propitious aspect; friendly disposition.

WOOING, participle present tense [from woo.] Courting; soliciting in love.

Courtship — it is a period of time where a man and a woman dedicate themselves to learn more about each other and to seek God together to determine if it is God’s will for them to get married.  Discuss each other’s visions, goals and dreams to see if they are compatible.

“Courtship is a commitment - it’s a promise not to play with another person’s heart.”  - Joshua Harris

“Courtship is not  just until you get married, it is forever”

“Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?”  Amos 3:3 (NLT)

BOTH person's dreams, visions, goals — ARE equally important.  Courtship should not be a place where your dreams go to die.

The fallacy of “soulmates: Lie: Zeus took people and tore them in-half. A person could only be happy to find their other half - the one that matches their soul

1. Falsehood: I need to find “the one". Truth: You need to become the one.

2. If I could just find my soulmate, then I will be happy.  Everything would be so easy. the truth is relationships are hard.

The last thing that we need is someone who matches up to our souls.

Can you imagine two sloppy people? Two people who are always late? Two people with poor diets? Two people with anger issues?

Our souls are our minds, wills and emotions.

Continuing our story: weekend revelations

You can listen to our audio podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify and Amazon podcast. Please leave us a review.  You can watch this podcast on YouTube. Search for the Inspiring Marriages channel. You can even listen to our podcast using your smart devices. Just say “Alexa, play the Inspiring Marriage Podcast.”

Friendship builder:

Read a Marriage Book Together.

There isn’t just one way to do this.

1. You can read aloud to each other.  Taking turns reading each paragraph or passage.

2. Our friends, Trey and Lea Morgan The Stronger Marriage Podcast (https://strongermarriageworkshops.com/ ) suggest one reads a passage underlining what stood out to them.  Then the other reads it doing the same, but a different color.  Then you go over together and talk about why you underlined what you did.  Prompts discussion.

You can get "Wisdom For Your Marriage" here:

https://a.co/d/aK3VMNo

You can connect with us on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube. Please like, follow and subscribe.  You can also connect with us via e-mail at [email protected].  You can leave questions and suggestions on how to make this podcast better and what topics you would like us to explore.

Inspiring Marriages:  Friendship to Courtship (Hurts Being Healed)

Welcome

Welcome to the Inspiring Marriages Podcast.  We are Jeff and Teresa Fields.   Our son, Joseph, composed and recored the music that we use during our intro.  

We have been happily married for 32 years.  We have 3 wonderful grown children, a fantastic son-in-love and a precious grand baby.

As we share our story, our desire is to inspire couples to build their friendships and thus build their marriages in all areas: spiritually, emotionally, romantically and physically.  

Call to Action #1:

Go to our web page inspiringmarriages.net. There you can access all of our previous episodes including all the show notes.  Below the episodes, there is a “keep in touch” section. There you can sign up to receive our latest offerings for free.

Friendship to Courtship

“The courtship period is the foundation upon which a happy marriage will stand, and should not be hurried by any devoted lover - not even a king.” Marissa Meyer

Be sure about a person's character before developing a close friendship.

Courtship — it is a period of time where a man and a woman dedicate themselves to learn more about each other and to seek God together to determine if it is God’s will for them to get married.  Discuss each other’s visions, goals and dreams to see if they are compatible.

Hurts Being Healed — based on love

Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. [They were His dear friends, and He held them in loving esteem.]. John 11:5 (AMPC)

Agape love, which is most often crowned as the highest form of Christian love, is the kind of love and action that shows empathy; extends the desire for good of the beloved; wants the best; extends help or demonstrates good intentions; and is intended for everyone

Now Jesus loved and was concerned about Martha and her sister and Lazarus [and considered them dear friends]. John 11:5 (AMP)

 This is My commandment: that you love one another [just] as I have loved you. John 15:12 (AMPC)

So this is my command: Love each other deeply, as much as I have loved you. John 15:12 (TPT)

No one has greater love [no one has shown stronger affection] than to lay down (give up) his own life for his friends. John 15:13 (AMPC)

For the greatest love of all is a love that sacrifices all. And this great love is demonstrated when a person sacrifices his life for his friends. John 15:13 (TPT)

Steps from friendship to courtship

Teresa's story of hurtful dating relationships

Every relationship needs boundaries.

Being in a close relationship will always present opportunities for healing.

Our friendship reconnected after dating was ended.

God used Jeff to bring emotional healing by listening as a friend.

Pointer for men: listen for information, not to make a response.

Over the course of our courtship those hurts were being healed.

Call to Action #2

You can listen to our audio podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify and Amazon podcast. Please leave us a review.  You can watch this podcast on YouTube. Search for the Inspiring Marriages channel. You can even listen to our podcast using your smart devices. Just say “Alexa, play the Inspiring Marriage Podcast.”

Friendship builder:

Frequently Pray Together - with a goal of praying daily.

One of the needs of a wife is for her husband to lead her spiritually. Praying together helps a couple to share their concerns and lift them up to God.

Prayer is Important

Here’s some shocking statistics*: 50 percent of first marriages end in divorce, and 78 percent of second marriages end in divorce,.  ~26% of couples who go to church together end in divorce. And 1/1,500 of marriages where couples pray together end in divorce.  (1/15th of 1 percent).

Ellison, C. G., Burdette, A. M. and Bradford Wilcox, W. (2010), The Couple That Prays Together: Race and Ethnicity, Religion, and Relationship Quality Among Working‐Age Adults. Journal of Marriage and Family, 72: 963–975. doi:10.1111/j.1741–3737.2010.00742.x

Gray Divorce Rate:

The divorce rate for couples over the age of 50, including empty nesters, has doubled over the course of the past generation.

The divorce rate for people over 64 years of age tripled during that same time period.

https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2017/03/09/led-by-baby-boomers-divorce-rates-climb-for-americas-50-population/

Example of prayer based on Ephesians 1:17-18 NLT

Father, I ask You to give you spiritual wisdom to and insight so that he/she might grow in your knowledge of God.  I pray that  his/her heart will be flooded with light so that he/she can understand the confident hope You has given to him/her because he/she has been called—he/she is part of His holy people who are His rich and glorious inheritance.

Call to Action #3:

You can connect with us on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube. Please like, follow and subscribe.  You can also connect with us via e-mail [email protected].  You can leave questions and suggestions on how to make this podcast better and what topics you would like us to explore.

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@InspiringMarriages-jo8xn/videos

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61555925352673

Instagram @inspiringmarriages

Email. [email protected]

Welcome to The Inspiring Marriages podcast

Sign up for Friendship Builder PDF -- www.inspriringmarriages.net

"When David had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own life." 1 Samuel 18:1 (AMPC)

"Now it came about when he had finished speaking to Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as himself." 1 Samuel 18:1 (NASB1995)

"As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul." 1 Samuel 18:1 (ESV)

Johnathan was the son of King Saul. David had just killed Goliath and Saul had just finished interviewing him:

"And Saul said to him, Whose son are you, young man? And David answered, I am the son of your servant Jesse of Bethlehem." 1 Samuel 17:58 (AMPC)

Although this was an example of deep brotherly love, we can also apply it to the deep friendship between a husband and wife. Being knit together is a work that God does. As we build our friendship we have to stay locked together.

"Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." Genesis 2:24 (AMPC)

"Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own life." 1 Samuel 18:3 (AMPC)

Jonathan and David remained close until Jonathan's death in battle.

We have been sharing milestones in our friendship as an example for you to do the same with your spouse. Go back over those important events and reminisce. Talk about what you learned about each other and why it was important.

Our friendship milestones this week:

1. Spur of the moment road trip to see Al Holly. I met Teresa's dad for the first time. Enjoyed I-Hop in midtown Atlanta afterwards.
2. Christian concerts like Christian Music Weekend at Six Flags and Bill Gaither's Jubilate
3. Bahamas cruise with single's group
4. Taylor family thanksgiving
5. Singles' get-togethers
6. Love of classic movies and the Stooges

Please subscribe to our podcasts and leave us a review.

Marriage Builder of the week: Family Game Night. If possible, include your children. It teaches social skills and social interactions. Good examples are Jenga, Risk, Sorry, Uno, Yahtzee, and Scrabble. If there are no kids involved, invent marriage centric rules such as all words used while playing Scrabble must be marriage related. You can invent kissing games. You can make a "winner gets a foot rub" rule or something more spicy.

You can connect with us on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube. Please follow, like and subscribe.

You can send questions, show topics and tips to [email protected]

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@InspiringMarriages-jo8xn/videos

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61555925352673

Instagram @inspiringmarriages

Email. [email protected]

Our Friendship Story

Go to inspiringmarriages.net and sign up for free PDF.

Find us on YouTube to watch the episodes: Inspiring Marriages

Be sure to watch episodes 1 and 2 (“Friend Closer Than a Brother” and “Why We Need Friendship in Marriage”)

❇️ KEY VERSES:

Proverbs 17:17 AMPC

A friend loves at all times, and is born, as is a brother, for adversity.

Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife. Franz Schubert.

Proverbs 17:17 NLT

17 A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.

Friendship in marriage is the spark that lights an everlasting flame. - Fawn Weaver.

🙂Tell about milestones in our friendship

1. We met at a Bible study at work
2. Got more acquainted at singles’ events and church meetings
3. Started doing prison ministry together~dinner and halfway house
4. Jeff and I attended a conference in which I was baptized at the end.
5. When I led worship at the work Bible study, Jeff carried my guitar to my desk.
6. Birthday parties for me in two consecutive years (intentional gifts)

💜 This week’s friendship builder: 

Make full breakfast together

❇️ CALL TO ACTION:

Find us now on Spotify and Amazon! 

Sign up for our free pdf of Friendship Builders on inspiringmarriages.net

Email us at [email protected]

Find us on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube

Leave us a review.

Proverbs 17:17 AMPC A friend loves at all times, and is born, as is a brother, for adversity.

📖 The definition of Friend in Webster’s 1828 Dictionary:

FRIEND, noun frend.

1. One who is attached to another by affection; one who has [entertains] for another sentiments of esteem, respect and affection, which lead him to desire his company, and to seek to promote his happiness and prosperity; opposed to foe or enemy.

Proverbs 17:17 NLT. "A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need."

📖 FRIEND'SHIP, noun frend'ship.

1. An attachment to a person, proceeding from intimate acquaintance…

“True friendship is a noble and virtuous attachment, springing from a pure source, a respect for worth or amiable qualities…”

“A dear friend will love you no matter what, and a family sticks together through all kinds of trouble.” Proverbs 17:17 TPT

“Friends love through all kinds of weather, and families stick together in all kinds of trouble.” Proverbs 17:17 MSG

❇️ We cannot be ‘fair weather friends!’ We should stick together through all kinds of trouble!

“A friend shows his friendship at all times — it is for adversity that [such] a brother is born.” Mishlei (Pro) 17:17 CJB

Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. 'Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other." Romans 12:9-10 NLT

“Love sincerely. Hate evil. Hold on to what is good. Be devoted to each other like a loving family.  Excel in showing respect for each other.” Romans 12:9-10 GW

“Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good.  Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.” Romans 12:9-10 MSG

“Let the inner movement of your heart always be to love one another, and never play the role of an actor wearing a mask.  Despise evil and embrace everything that is good and virtuous.” Romans 12:9 TPT

Proverbs 18:22 

AMP  He who finds a [true and faithful] wife finds a good thing And obtains favor and approval from the Lord. 

NLT The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord.

 CEV  A man's greatest treasure is his wife— she is a gift from the Lord.

TPT When a man finds a wife, he has found a treasure! For she is the gift of God to bring him joy and pleasure

Good: beautiful, best, bountiful, pleasant, precious, prosperity, wealth, favor

Proverbs 18:24 

TPT Some friendships don’t last for long, but there is one loving friend who is joined to your heart closer than any other!

AMC The man of too many friends [chosen indiscriminately] will be broken in pieces and come to ruin, But there is a [true, loving] friend who [is reliable and] sticks closer than a brother.

YLT:   A man with friends [is] to show himself friendly, And there is a lover adhering more than a brother!

Friend: lover, love, beloved (to have affection for (sexually or otherwise)

 Sticks closer: cleave, join, adhere

Friendship Builder:

Ensure that you two have 30 minutes of interrupted conversaton – every day.

Welcome to the Inspiring Marriages podcast.  We are your hosts, Jeff & Teresa Fields.  We reside in Fort Worth, Texas and we have been happily married for 32 years.  Our three kids (1 son and 2 daughters) are grown.  We have 1 precious grandbaby.  

We are both ordained ministers who teach the Word of God, create original music and lead worship for special events.  We also serve regularly in our local church.

Our 30 minute podcast drops every Friday at 6 a.m. US central time and is full of stories, encouragement & fresh ideas for building up your marriage.

Inspiring Marriages is a faith based podcast that will enable busy married couples to enhance their friendship and romance.  

As we share our story, our desire is to inspire couples to build their friendships and thus build their marriages. Our podcast will include topics covering friendship builders, fun ideas and tips for the week.

This show is free to listen to an is available in any app that supports podcasts:  Apple Podcast,  Spotify, Google Podcast, Amazon Music, etc.  

The video version of this podcast is available at The Inspiring Marriages channel on Youtube.

We look forward to sharing our story every Friday and getting to know you.