Being punished was easy for me. Accepting grace was almost impossible. I spent years believing grace was the opposite of being a man. Then Brett Knight said something on this show that changed how I see it.

In this episode: why men either reject grace as weak or hide behind it as an excuse, what years of self punishment cost me before I got healed, and what changed it.

My grace is sufficient for thee, for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Second Corinthians 12:9.

Drop the word STRONG in the comments if you're going to say the real thing to one man this week. I read every one.

If this hit close, "Are You Ready? A Practical Battle Plan for Christian Men" is on Amazon.

Companion episode: Brett Knight, criminal defense attorney and pastor, on why punishment and grace were never the same thing. [add Ep. 135 link once it airs]

If this is you right now, don't sit in it alone. Find a Celebrate Recovery group near you. In crisis, call or text 988.

New episodes every week. Guest interviews Wednesday, solo Thursday. Search The Intentional Guy Podcast.

Subscribe: http://youtube.com/@intentionalguy

Newsletter: http://intentionalguy.riverside.com/newsletter

Want to be a guest: http://cal.com/michael-chestnut-hfbot2/podcast

Let's get coffee. Let me be your brother. Let me walk beside you. Until next time, keep being intentional.

#ChristianMen #Grace #Masculinity #PornRecovery #CelebrateRecovery #ChristianPodcast #FaithAndFamily #IntentionalLiving #MensMentalHealth #Accountability

Brett Knight spends his career standing in two rooms most of us never do, a courtroom and a church. He was a prosecutor before he became a defense attorney, and what he saw from both sides changed how he defines justice and grace.

We talk about why punishment can change behavior but cannot heal the pain underneath it, why grace and accountability are not opposites, and why shame may be doing more damage in the recovery community than the addiction itself. Brett has walked hundreds of men and women out of active addiction and into recovery, and this conversation is a look at how he actually does it.

Brett writes about all of this in his book, "From the Gavel to Grace: Setting People Free From Addiction and Into Healing." You can find the book and more of his writing at his website below.

Drop the word GRACE in the comments so I know you were here today.

If anything in this hit close to home for you or somebody you love, Celebrate Recovery has groups all over the country. Find one near you at crlocator.com. If you are in crisis right now, call or text 988.

And until next time, keep being intentional.

#ChristianMen #Grace #Recovery #Addiction #CelebrateRecovery

Brett Knight's website: brettknight.com
Book, "From the Gavel to Grace: Setting People Free From Addiction and Into Healing":
Paperback: https://us.amazon.com/Gavel-Grace-Setting-Addiction-Healing/dp/1971949191
Kindle: https://us.amazon.com/Gavel-Grace-Setting-Addiction-Healing-ebook/dp/B0GYB6JQ47
Audiobook: https://us.amazon.com/Gavel-Grace-Setting-Addiction-Healing/dp/B0H3QRDHBQ

Subscribe: http://youtube.com/@intentionalguy
Newsletter: http://intentionalguy.riverside.com/newsletter
Want to be a guest: http://cal.com/michael-chestnut-hfbot2/podcast

Ep. 135: Grace Is Not Weak

I built my entire picture of my Heavenly Father out of my earthly one. If dad was disappointed, God must be disappointed. If dad was embarrassed of me, God must be embarrassed too. I carried that for years before I ever saw it for what it was.

My dad's version of the talk lasted about thirty seconds. The birds go tweet tweet. The bees go buzz buzz. That was the whole conversation. What he never said is what shaped the next twenty years of my life.

I grew up a preacher's kid, carrying my own shame plus the pressure of never embarrassing the family name. My dad teased me about my grades in front of church members. When I asked him why, he told me it was because he was embarrassed. He was not a villain. He was passing down exactly what got trained into him. Criticism builds character, that is what his parents believed, and that is what he handed me. I do not think he ever knew what he was passing down.

In this episode I talk about the cost of a father's silence, how that silence left me wide open to what the world was more than happy to teach me instead, and the three things that helped me start breaking the cycle with my own kids.

Proverbs 22:6 gets quoted as a promise. It is also a warning. Whatever gets trained into us tends to stick.

In this episode:
How a father's voice becomes the voice you hear from God
Why uncomfortable is not a good enough reason to stay silent
What your son is actually asking when he comes to you
Name it, choose presence over perfection, have one real conversation
The question to ask yourself this week, not someday

Drop the word PRESENT in the comments if you are choosing to show up for your kid before you have it all figured out. I read them.

If this hit something in you, "Are You Ready? A Practical Battle Plan for Christian Men" is the next step. It is the plan I wish somebody had handed me at thirteen, and again at thirty. Available on Amazon.

Companion episode: I had Chris Rogers on the show this week talking about teenage boys and pornography recovery. He is the one who said you do not have to be healed to help. Watch that one next.
[Chris Rogers episode link]

If you are carrying shame from your own father's silence, do not carry it alone. Find a Celebrate Recovery group near you and take one step this week. If you are in crisis, please reach out to a pastor, a counselor, or the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. Call or text 988 in the US.

New episodes every week. Guest interviews Wednesday, solo episodes Thursday. Search The Intentional Guy Podcast wherever you listen.

Subscribe: youtube.com/@intentionalguy
Newsletter: intentionalguy.riverside.com/newsletter
Want to be a guest: cal.com/michael-chestnut-hfbot2/podcast

Let's get coffee. Let me be your brother. Let me walk beside you. Until next time, keep being intentional.

#ChristianMen #FatherWound #Fatherhood #Masculinity #CelebrateRecovery #ChristianPodcast #PreachersKid #FaithAndFamily #IntentionalLiving #MensMentalHealth

Chapters

• 00:00 The Impact of Parental Silence
• 02:01 The Cycle of Imperfect Training
• 06:37 Breaking the Cycle Through Open Communication

If your son was struggling with pornography, would he tell you? Would he even know he could?

Most of us grew up in homes where nobody talked about this — so we learned to hide it. Now our kids carry more temptation in their pocket than we ever had access to. In this episode, Michael Chestnut sits down with Chris Rogers, former teacher and founder of Rebooted Teen, who coaches teens and high-performing men through compulsive sexual behavior — and who's walked his own road of recovery.

You'll learn:

• The two questions every kid is really asking: "Am I safe?" and "Can I trust you?"
• Why leading with shame guarantees they stay stuck ("If you lead with shame, they stay the same")
• The 3 categories of red flags to watch for — technological, social, and behavioral
• How to have the conversation even if you're still fighting this battle yourself
• Why it's not you vs. your child — it's you and your child vs. the problem

🎁 FREE Parent Resource from Chris: https://rebootedteen.com

⏱️ Timestamps:
0:00 – Would your son tell you?
1:48 – Chris's story: from music teacher to recovery coach
5:50 – How does a dad even start this conversation?
7:53 – "If you lead with shame, they stay the same"
10:53 – Red flags: technological, social, and behavioral
14:20 – What boundaries are really for
19:03 – You don't have to be the one to fix it
20:33 – The home as the "rehearsal room"
24:12 – Social media and the most anxious generation ever
30:33 – "How can I talk to my son when I'm still struggling?"
32:35 – Mike's birds-and-bees story
35:15 – Being matter-of-fact + the Rebooted Teen Parent Program
40:08 – One action every dad should take today
42:27 – Curiosity is a superpower — you are your child's original influencer

🔔 Subscribe for weekly conversations helping men live free and intentional.

📍 Find a Celebrate Recovery near you: https://www.celebraterecovery.com

#TheIntentionalGuyPodcast #ChristianMen #PornAddictionRecovery

For hours at a time, I sat alone in my garage smoking a pipe. No secrets. No shame. Nothing I'd have to hide if you walked in. And that "harmless little hobby" was quietly eating my life.

This episode isn't about my struggles — it's about yours. Maybe your garage is a bottle, a game, a phone, the gym, the boat, or the deer stand. Hobbies are good. But there's a difference between a hobby that restores you to your people and an escape that removes you from them.

In this episode:

• The escape I never wrote about in either of my books
• The "false positive" — how the enemy comes through the door you never thought to check
• 1 Corinthians 6:12 — permissible things that master you
• Genesis 3:9 — the first question God ever asked a man: "Where are you?"
• Four practical steps to name what's underneath and take your hours back

THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE: Name your garage. One sentence: "My escape is ___, and it helps me avoid ___." Then drop the word GARAGE in the comments — and when you see it from another brother, pray for him. He just turned on a light.

RESOURCES:
📖 Are You Ready? — 12 short chapters, each readable in about five minutes. Built for the man who's done hiding. [PASTE LINK]
📖 Exposed — my full story: how far down I went, and how God pulled me back. https://www.amazon.com/Exposed-Secret-Divorce-Journey-Restoration/dp/B09PHJS848

#TheIntentionalGuy #ChristianMen #MensMinistry #CelebrateRecovery #Escape #Addiction #Recovery #FaithAndFreedom #ChristianPodcast #MenOfGod #IntentionalLiving #BiblicalManhood #Accountability #HurtsHangupsHabits #Freedom

What are you planting in the dark?

In this episode, Michael sits down with Matthew Wingo — founder of Turn Right Ministry and author of Turn Right: The Pursuit of Noble Things — a man whose story runs so close to Michael's own that he calls him his twin in journey. Matthew was winning in public and losing in private, quietly tending what he calls a "hidden orchard" of buried emotions, isolation, and secret struggle. For nine years he watered those seeds in silence — until the harvest came, costing him two marriages and sending him into a prodigal season that ended with nothing left but Jesus and the ashes.

Matthew and Michael go deep on the fear of failure, the lie that you're the exception to God's grace, the moment of confession across the table from a mentor who just kept smiling and saying "you're forgiven," and why the trials that follow us out of the far country are the very crucible God uses to refine us.

If you've ever felt too far gone — if shame has become your identity — this conversation is for you. You're never out of His reach.

IN THIS EPISODE:

• The hidden orchard: why bad things grow in the dark
• The prodigal son isn't a salvation story — it's a squandered-inheritance story
• Owning 100% of your 5%
• Step 4 inventory: connecting the dots of your own wiring
• The power of confession with a trusted brother
• Why testimony gives hope that theology alone can't

Grab Matthew's book Turn Right: The Pursuit of Noble Things — available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Apple Books, and Google Play.

Until next time — keep being intentional.

Let's get coffee. Let me be your brother. Let me walk beside you.

#TheIntentionalGuy #ChristianMen #MensMinistry #FaithBasedPodcast #Testimony #CelebrateRecovery #Redemption #ProdigalSon #ChristianPodcast #BiblicalManhood #Brotherhood #Accountability #GraceOfGod #HopeAndHealing #TurnRight #MatthewWingo #MenOfFaith #RecoveryJourney #ChristianLiving #FreedomInChrist

What if the thing that takes a man down isn't his sin — it's his pride in hiding it?

In this episode, I sit down with Pastor Timothy Allen — 43 years walking with Christ, 20+ years of pastoral ministry, and a longtime prison chaplain — for a conversation that hit close to home for both of us. Timothy shares how God called a man who'd never been arrested to a ministry behind bars, and tells an unforgettable story of an inmate who turned down the plea deal he'd prayed for because God said "tell them no" — and what happened next.

We dig into his book Before the Fall and why pride, not sin, is what ultimately brings a man down. Timothy breaks down the "slow drift" — how a heading that's off by just one degree looks fine at first but leaves you miles off course — and why every man needs brothers who will carry his mat, tell him the truth even when he gets mad, and never leave him halfway there.

I also open up about my own fall, the 15 years I ran from God, and the man who sat with me at a Wendy's and changed my life by refusing to judge me.

If you've ever felt yourself coasting, isolating, or hiding a struggle because of what people might say — this one's for you.

🔗 CONNECT WITH PASTOR TIMOTHY ALLEN
📖 Get Before the Fall on Amazon: https://a.co/d/0e56AwXZ
🌐 Website: https://www.romans10nine.com
📱 Romans10Nine Bible study app — courses & daily devotionals (App Store & Google Play)

⏱️ CHAPTERS
00:00 Welcome & introducing Pastor Timothy Allen
01:04 Timothy's story: an unexpected call to prison ministry
03:33 Michael's season in corrections — where God chased him down
05:12 "What I receive far exceeds what I give"
08:36 The inmate who turned down the deal: "Tell them no"
15:09 Faith, obedience, and asking God for fairness — not a free pass
19:04 Performance-based Christianity vs. grace
21:31 Before the Fall: it's not the sin — it's the pride
22:34 Peter sinking: why men drown rather than cry out
27:27 Iron sharpens iron: the brothers who pulled Michael back
29:46 The slow drift: how 271° looks just like 270°
34:46 The enemy's long game: slow pulls, not big assaults
37:23 The friend who won't sugarcoat it — and why you need him
39:43 Four men and a mat: carrying a brother to Jesus
47:59 Don't point out a flaw unless you're willing to help
51:35 100 men walking to Providence: we're never all weak at once
54:16 Forge your brotherhood before the hardship comes
56:00 Where to find Before the Fall & Romans10Nine

Keep being intentional. 💪

#TheSlowDrift #ChristianMen #BeforeTheFall #FaithAndFamily #ChristianPodcast #MensMinistry #IntentionalLiving #SpiritualGrowth #Discipleship #PrisonMinistry #IronSharpensIron #ChristianLife

Most Christian men don't lose the battle in the moment they fall.

They lose it five minutes later.

The enemy whispers, "You did it again. This is who you are. You might as well keep going." One bad decision becomes a whole night. One night becomes an identity. Before long, shame feels more permanent than hope.

In this honest episode of The Intentional Guy Podcast, Michael Chestnut speaks directly to Christian men who are tired of fighting the same battle with pornography, lust, and masturbation. This isn't about piling on guilt or pretending sexual desire doesn't exist.

One of the most important conversations in this episode is for the single, divorced, and unmarried Christian man. What do you do with a sex drive that God intentionally created when marriage isn't your current reality? Scripture doesn't offer easy shortcuts, but it does offer wisdom, hope, and practical disciplines that help you honor God without pretending the struggle isn't real.

You'll discover:

• Why your God-given sex drive isn't something to be ashamed of.
• Practical, biblical ways to steward sexual desire when you're unmarried.
• The hidden trap that keeps men stuck long after they've fallen.
• What recovery psychology reveals about the "one-more-time" spiral.
• A simple five-minute strategy to stop shame before it gains momentum.
• How one honest phone call can change the direction of your entire night.
• Biblical hope for men who are weary of starting over.

If you've ever promised God, "Never again," only to find yourself back in the same place, this episode is for you.

You are not defined by your worst night.
You are not disqualified by your struggle.
You are not fighting alone.

The righteous man isn't the one who never falls—he's the one who keeps getting back up.

It's time to break the spiral, understand the purpose behind the sex drive God gave you, and discover that restoration is always one honest step away.

Scripture: Proverbs 24:16 • Psalm 51 • Matthew 5 • 1 Corinthians 7

☕ Need a brother to walk beside you? Reach out. Sometimes the next step toward freedom begins with one honest conversation.

What happens when you've spent years believing your failures define you?

In this powerful conversation on The Intentional Guy Podcast, Michael Chestnut sits down with Eli Brackenbury, author of Finding God at 50, to discuss how God meets us in our brokenness—not after we've cleaned up our lives, but right in the middle of the mess.

After two divorces, years of chasing success, and believing he had disqualified himself from God's purpose, Eli reached the end of himself. In complete surrender, he invited God to take control—and everything changed. What followed was a journey of healing, restoration, and discovering that God was after his heart, not his performance.

Michael and Eli also share their own experiences with divorce, shame, rebuilding their identities, and the importance of surrounding yourself with godly men who will challenge, encourage, and carry you when life gets hard. Their conversation is filled with practical wisdom and hope for anyone wondering if God can still use their story.

• Why surrender is the beginning of restoration.
• How failure and divorce don't have to define your identity.
• The difference between religion and a personal relationship with Jesus.
• Why every man needs strong, godly friendships.
• How God uses our deepest wounds to prepare us for our greatest purpose.
• What it means to trust God even when you can't see the next step.

If you've ever felt like you've gone too far, failed too much, or wondered if God could still use you, this episode is for you.

👍 If this conversation encouraged you, be sure to:

• Like this video
• Subscribe to The Intentional Guy Podcast
• Share this episode with someone who needs hope today
• Leave a comment and let us know what spoke to you most!

Chapters

• 00:00 The Journey of Surrender
• 07:35 The Impact of Surrender
• 16:30 The Role of Community
• 27:18 The Power of Faith and Trust
• 42:40 Encouragement and Support

#TheIntentionalGuy #ChristianMen #Faith #Jesus #ChristianPodcast #MensMinistry #IdentityInChrist #Healing #Restoration #Surrender #DivorceRecovery #FindingGod #Hope #BiblicalManhood #Discipleship #ChristianLiving #Purpose #MensMentalHealth #EliBrackenbury #FindingGodat50

Competency Cancels Fear: From Pulpit to Bureau — An FBI Agent's Guide to Fearless Living

What happens when you take a small-town Baptist pastor who's never held a gun and hand him a badge for the FBI? You get 24 years of stories that sound made up — teenage prostitutes, gang members, terrorists, SWAT raids — and a man who never lost sight of the fact that he was still, first and foremost, a shepherd.

In this episode, Michael sits down with Eric Robinson — former pastor, 24-year FBI veteran, and SWAT operator — for a conversation that goes far beyond cop stories. Eric unpacks the concept that changed how he thinks about fear entirely: competency cancels fear. Not the absence of danger — the presence of preparation.

They talk about:

* Why Eric's headaches disappeared the day he left ministry for the FBI — and what his body was trying to tell him
* The danger of carrying everyone else's burdens without anyone to carry yours
* What "the flinch test" taught Eric about welcoming people the church often turns away
* Why judgment on your face costs you influence later
* The SWAT practice of "after action reviews" — and how it's a model every man could use in marriage, parenting, and recovery
* Owning your mistakes before anyone calls you out on them, and why that's a mark of strength, not weakness
* Redefining masculinity through the person of Jesus — kindness, availability, and truth spoken in love, not condemnation

Whether you've never met an FBI agent or you've never sat with your own failures long enough to learn from them, this episode will challenge you to stop running from fear and start preparing for it.

Eric's book, releasing this October, tells the full story — find out more at http://preachertobreacher.com.

#IntentionalGuyPodcast
#CompetencyCancelsFear
#FromPulpitToBreacher
#FBIAgent
#SWATTeam
#ChristianMasculinity
#FaithAndCourage
#MenOfFaith
#BiblicalManhood
#AfterActionReview
#OwnYourMistakes
#FearlessLiving
#PastorToAgent
#IronSharpensIron
#ChristianMenPodcast