Intentional Guy

In 1990, a CHP officer told Deston Rogers his 2 and a half year old son Cody and Cody's mom were gone. Days later, a paternity test said Cody's baby brother Dakota wasn't his either. Two sons, lost in one accident.

18 years later, Dakota reached out, started calling him dad, and gave Deston a son back. Then in March 2024, doing news at the same radio station, Deston heard an EMS call come over the scanner. It sounded like where Dakota worked.

Today Deston, a 40 year radio veteran and host of Eagle Freedom Presents, talks about what's left standing when grief hits the same way twice. Why he got mad at the situation but never at God. What to say, and not say, to a grieving friend. And why asking for help is strength, not weakness.

If you're carrying grief alone, you don't have to. Call or text 988 any time, day or night. If you've lost a child, The Compassionate Friends has local chapters and online groups. And you can find a Celebrate Recovery group near you at crlocator.com. In Pensacola, we meet Tuesdays 6 to 8 PM at Momentum Church.

Search The Intentional Guy Podcast to find us wherever you listen.

0:00 Cold open: "There's been an accident"

1:00 Meet Deston Rogers, 40 years on the radio

2:48 Losing Cody and his mom in one crash

5:11 The phone call every father fears

7:27 A paternity test takes a second son

9:47 Reconnecting with Dakota after 18 years

12:09 "I have to go through this all over again"

12:35 Faith, family, and friends

13:58 Grief puts a timestamp in your brain

14:29 Dakota's battle with alcohol

17:36 Why no two men grieve the same way

19:42 Mad at the situation, never at God

22:04 When the enemy gets you alone

24:14 The ministry of presence

25:47 What a grieving man actually needs from you

27:30 The turning point: finding his purpose

32:15 Michael's own road to restoration

37:18 Finding a circle of men who won't judge you

39:50 Advice for the man in the thick of it

43:25 Asking for help is strength, not weakness

45:30 Where to find Deston

https://eaglefreedompresents.com

Email Deston: [email protected]

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: https://988lifeline.org

The Compassionate Friends: https://www.compassionatefriends.org

Find a Celebrate Recovery group: https://crlocator.com

Get my book Exposed: https://a.co/d/0bh9DFHb

Get my book Are You Ready? A Practical Battle Plan for Christian Men: https://a.co/d/07RxCWAc

Search "The Intentional Guy Podcast" on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Deezer, Amazon Music, or iHeartRadio

Come be a guest on The Intentional Guy Podcast: https://www.joinpodmatch.com/intentionalguy

#TheIntentionalGuy #ChristianMen #FaithBasedPodcast #CelebrateRecovery #MensMinistry #Grief #LossOfAChild #GriefAndFaith #ChristianGrief #BereavedParents

Ep. 149

Do you feel beyond repair? If somebody told you God is done with you, or you believe your worst moment is who you are, this one is for you. God is not done with you.

This is also where I tell you what this podcast is and who I make it for. If you've been listening quietly and never told a soul what you're carrying, I had you in mind the whole time.

Say it out loud today: "I am not my worst moment." Then comment LIGHT so I know you're here. You don't have to tell me your story.

CHAPTERS

0:00 The name I gave myself

0:29 Who this podcast is for

1:04 The man who lives in silence

1:56 When a minister says God is done with you

2:32 The church that prayed over me instead

3:07 Treasure in jars of clay (2 Corinthians 4:7)

3:41 The blessing is in the brokenness

4:14 What believing the label cost me

4:34 The inmate who showed me Jesus

5:36 We see labels where God sees warriors

6:00 Why this show exists

6:26 3 things to take with you

6:59 The challenge: I am not my worst moment

7:31 If you need help right now

SCRIPTURE

2 Corinthians 4:7 (NIV): "But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us."

HEAR BRIAN'S STORY

Yesterday's conversation with Brian Gray is called "Your Blessing Is Your Brokenness." Search The Intentional Guy Podcast.

NEED HELP RIGHT NOW?

If you are thinking about ending your life, call or text 988.

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: https://988lifeline.org/

Find a Celebrate Recovery group near you: https://crlocator.com/

MY BOOKS

Are You Ready? A Practical Battle Plan for Christian Men: https://a.co/d/02cBh6uY

Exposed: A Memoir: https://www.amazon.com/Exposed-Secret-Divorce-Journey-Restoration/dp/B09PHJS848

New episodes every Wednesday and Thursday. Search The Intentional Guy Podcast.

#christianmen #identityinchrist #mensministry

Ep. 148

Your Blessing Is Your Brokenness

Brian Gray was an addict, homeless, and had a rap sheet before he ever set foot on a mission field. He grew up believing he had to fight his own battles alone, and spent decades proving himself right: alcoholism by fifteen, a marriage to a woman battling addiction, finding her bound and gagged in their apartment, five years in state custody in Hawaii, and a night he charged a man holding a shotgun and screamed for him to pull the trigger.

None of it killed him. Today he's spent two decades on the mission field across three countries, runs a Christian children's home, and wrote a book built on the line at the center of this conversation: your blessing is in your brokenness. This episode is about what happens when the worst chapter of a man's life becomes the very thing God uses to build everything after it.

This episode touches addiction, incarceration, domestic violence, and a moment of Brian confronting an armed man in what sounds like an attempt to be killed. If any part of this is where you are right now, please reach out. If you're in crisis, call or text 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. If this hits you in a different way, find a Celebrate Recovery group near you at http://crlocator.com. In Pensacola, we meet Tuesdays 6 to 8 PM at Momentum Church.

This one ties straight into "Are You Ready? A Practical Battle Plan for Christian Men," available on Amazon.

Drop your comment word below so I know you were here.

Search The Intentional Guy Podcast to find us wherever you listen.

0:39 Cold open: "That's just who you are now"
1:13 Meet Brian Gray
1:56 His book: "Your blessing is in your brokenness"
2:52 Age four, a toy gun, and "go fight your own battles"
4:18 Rejected twice: his parents' divorce and his father's cult
7:10 Discovering alcohol, a full-blown alcoholic by fifteen
8:14 The drunk crash, getting kicked out, and the woman who took him in
11:57 Graduating by the skin of his teeth and joining the Marines
13:42 A Marine named Richard Stant, and reading the Gospels for the first time
17:22 Gangbusters drinking, and homeless in Rochester
18:11 Meeting Jamie, and the voice that said "go straight"
18:51 Ten years of chaos, and finding her bound and gagged
19:50 Homeless in Hawaii, and the vice squad incident
22:54 Jail as "the mercy of God"
24:20 Relapse, the shotgun, and "this is the last time"
27:14 Full circle: "this is the last time you fight your own battles"
28:41 From inmate to peer counselor
31:32 The people God planted along the way
36:05 Prison ministry, and the woman who prayed the hormones away
39:33 Marriage, Honduras, and landing in Greeneville
45:33 Writing "Rap Sheet to Resume"
47:07 What he'd tell the next Brian Gray listening
52:24 Closing and a final word

http://grayhope.com
Get my book Exposed: https://a.co/d/0bh9DFHb
Get my book Are You Ready? A Practical Battle Plan for Christian Men: https://a.co/d/07RxCWAc
Search "The Intentional Guy Podcast" on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Deezer, Amazon Music, or iHeartRadio
Come be a guest on The Intentional Guy Podcast: https://www.joinpodmatch.com/intentionalguy

#TheIntentionalGuy #ChristianMen #FaithBasedPodcast #CelebrateRecovery #MensMinistry #Addiction #PrisonMinistry #Missions #SecondChances #Redemption

Episode 145

When money got tight, I canceled Covenant Eyes. I told myself I was doing good and didn't need it anymore. And I'm the guy who tells every man at coffee to put it on every device he owns.

In this solo episode I get honest about why I dropped it, why God convicted me, and why I signed back up. If you've ever said "I'm fine, I don't need that," this one is for you.

About 3 out of 4 Christian men look at porn at least once in a while. We'll pay for Netflix and Amazon Prime without thinking twice. But we won't protect the heart we gave to our wives.

Tonight, write down every device you own. Then ask yourself which ones are protected.

CHAPTERS
0:00 I canceled it
0:36 Why "I'm doing good" is dangerous
2:01 Job 31:1, a covenant with my eyes
2:27 How do I tell men to have what I don't?
3:21 Write down every device
4:16 The Netflix question

Get Covenant Eyes with 30 days free: https://victory.covenanteyes.com/register/welcome?refer_a_friend=u2868918
This is an affiliate link. Using it gets you 30 days free and supports The Intentional Guy.

Listen to my conversation with Sam Black from Covenant Eyes: https://youtu.be/buh_C2dXVFY

Grab my book, Are You Ready? A Practical Battle Plan for Christian Men: https://a.co/d/07RxCWAc

Comment COVENANT below if you're making your list tonight.

If this hits close to home, you don't have to do this alone. Find a Celebrate Recovery group near you at crlocator.com. In Pensacola, we meet Tuesdays 6 to 8 PM at Momentum Church.

Search The Intentional Guy Podcast.

#CovenantEyes #PornAddiction #ChristianMen #Accountability #TheIntentionalGuy

Ep. 146

A man sits in church every Sunday carrying a secret. He sings the songs, shakes the pastor's hand, and believes if anyone knew, he'd be done. So he stays quiet. And the church stays quiet too.

Sam Black, Director of Recovery Education at Covenant Eyes, has spent almost 20 years breaking that silence. For his book The Healing Church, he interviewed more than 70 pastors, counselors, and men who found freedom from pornography to learn what churches getting it right are actually doing.

Sam and Michael Chestnut get honest about porn addiction, shame, and why so many Christian men stay stuck even when they want out. Sam shares his first exposure at 10 years old and why almost every man remembers his. They break down the addiction cycle, why willpower never lasts, how to start a recovery group at church, how porn affects your wife, the rise of AI pornography, and how Victory by Covenant Eyes protects every device.

Michael also shares the day a pastor told him God was done using him, and the stranger who walked with him instead.

Jesus isn't done with you.

CHAPTERS
00:00 You still remember your first exposure
01:11 Why the church stays silent about porn
06:10 Why Christian men get stuck in porn addiction
19:09 How to break the porn addiction cycle
21:25 Starting a porn recovery group at church
33:07 What Barna research says about Christians and porn
36:26 The pastor who said God was done with me
41:18 How Victory by Covenant Eyes works
53:11 How porn affects your wife
55:37 AI pornography and what to do about it
1:00:41 2026 Samson Summit, October 23 to 25

RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE
Victory by Covenant Eyes: https://www.covenanteyes.com/victory/
Free Covenant Eyes resources: https://www.covenanteyes.com/resources/
Strive21: https://strive21.com
Samson Society: https://www.samsonsociety.com
2026 Samson Summit: https://samsonswag.squarespace.com/events/p/2026-samson-summit

Want a real plan for the fight? Are You Ready? A Practical Battle Plan for Christian Men by Michael Chestnut is on Amazon.

If this hits close to home, you don't have to carry it alone. Find a Celebrate Recovery group near you at crlocator.com. If you're in crisis, call or text 988.

Comment KEY below if you're done keeping the key to your own cage.

Follow Covenant Eyes @covenanteyes
Search The Intentional Guy Podcast

#CovenantEyes #PornAddiction #ChristianMen #TheHealingChurch #PornRecovery

EPISODE 145

Somebody you love is hurting, and everything in you wants to fix it. Say the right thing. Find the right counselor. Throw out the pills. Search the house one more time.

But what if the person you have been trying to fix was never yours to fix?

Wanting to help someone you love is not a sin. But somewhere along the way, love turns into control. I know it, because I have done it. Today we talk about the fixer, what it costs the people around him, and the one prayer that puts it down.

The challenge this week: pick the one person you have been trying to fix and pray this. God, I am putting them back in Your hands. Show me my part. Then do your part, only your part.

Putting somebody back in God's hands this week? Drop the word RELEASE in the comments so I can pray for you.

Mentioned in this episode: my conversation with Steve Rotermund, A SILENT KILLER.

Married to someone battling addiction? Steve built a place for you: https://partnersofaddicts.com

Find a Celebrate Recovery group near you: https://crlocator.com/It is for hurts, hang-ups, and habits, and codependency is one of them. In Pensacola we meet Tuesdays at 6 PM at Momentum Church.

The Intentional Guy: The Whole Story, all three on Amazon. Worn out from trying to fix somebody? Start with More Than a Picture. Still fighting your own battle? Are You Ready? is the plan.

More Than a Picture: https://www.amazon.com/More-Than-Picture-Restored-Free/dp/B0CCCMZHD3

Are You Ready?: https://a.co/d/02cBh6uY

Exposed: https://www.amazon.com/Exposed-Secret-Divorce-Journey-Restoration/dp/B09PHJS848

Search The Intentional Guy Podcast wherever you listen.

#TheIntentionalGuy #ChristianMen #CelebrateRecovery #MensMinistry #Codependency #AddictionRecovery

Ep. 144

Steve Rotermund built a life that looked like ministry success. Pastor. Men's ministry leader. Celebrate Recovery director at his own church. Underneath all of it, his first wife's addiction to pain medication had turned him into someone he never saw coming, a man managing chaos instead of loving his family. Fifteen minutes into his first session with a Christian counselor, the counselor stopped him cold. "You're part of the problem, too."

Today we talk about codependency, the identity most churches never name from the pulpit, and how Steve found his own identity in Christ only after he stopped trying to fix everyone else's.

If this hits you, find a Celebrate Recovery group near you at crlocator.com. In Pensacola, we meet Tuesdays 6 to 8 PM at Momentum Church.

This one ties straight into "Are You Ready? A Practical Battle Plan for Christian Men," available on Amazon.

Drop your comment word below so I know you were here.

Search The Intentional Guy Podcast to find us wherever you listen.

0:00 Cold open: "It's a silent killer"

0:51 Meet Steve Rotermund, founder of Walk Right Community

2:46 Where codependency starts: shame since the garden

4:24 Abandoned by his mother, molested at six

6:41 Called into ministry while his marriage fell apart

8:52 The doctor's question that exposed the addiction

13:01 Why you feel shame for an addiction that isn't yours

15:16 "You're part of the problem, too"

17:32 The savior: naming his own codependency

22:13 You can't put down what you can't identify

27:28 Thirteen years of managing an addict

31:38 Finding clarity and starting to disengage

34:31 Breaking up with her addiction

36:49 Why Walk Right Community exists

51:36 His book, God's Imperfect Plan Is Perfect

58:08 Where to find Steve, and a final word

partnersofaddicts.com

Get my book Exposed: https://a.co/d/0bh9DFHb

Get my book Are You Ready? A Practical Battle Plan for Christian Men: https://a.co/d/07RxCWAc

Search "The Intentional Guy Podcast" on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Deezer, Amazon Music, or iHeartRadio

Come be a guest on The Intentional Guy Podcast: https://www.joinpodmatch.com/intentionalguy

#TheIntentionalGuy #ChristianMen #FaithBasedPodcast #CelebrateRecovery #MensMinistry #Codependency #AddictionRecovery #ChristianMarriage #IdentityInChrist #SpouseOfAnAddict

Episode 143

I'm No Longer Being Adopted

Jason Lyle spent over a decade behind a pulpit telling other men how to walk with God. The whole time, he was living a second life inside a sex addiction that started when he was ten years old, one that eventually cost him his marriage, his job, and nearly his life. His rock bottom was a night spent planning his own suicide.

What pulled him back out wasn't another program to sit through. It was learning to regulate his own nervous system through cold water, breath work, and stillness, and rebuilding a life where who he actually is finally matches what everyone sees on the outside. Today he coaches men through that same process and leads them into the wilderness to learn what he had to learn the hard way: you are not in control, and that is exactly where healing starts.

This episode touches sexual addiction, infidelity, and a disclosed history of suicidal thoughts. If any part of this is where you are right now, please reach out. If you are in crisis, call or text 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. If this hits you in a different way, find a Celebrate Recovery group near you at crlocator.com. In Pensacola, we meet Tuesdays 6 to 8 PM at Momentum Church.

This one ties straight into "Are You Ready? A Practical Battle Plan for Christian Men," available on Amazon.

Drop your comment word below so I know you were here.

Search The Intentional Guy Podcast to find us wherever you listen.

1:13 Cold open: from the pulpit to the wilderness
1:51 Meet Jason Lyle
2:32 Adopted, untethered, and an addiction that started at ten
3:19 Becoming a pastor, the affair, and the night he planned his suicide
6:35 Somatic experiencing and "The Body Keeps the Score"
8:47 Michael's own story: molested as a child, hidden for decades
10:07 Cold water, breath work, and the constructs he believed about himself
14:59 Why he takes men into the wilderness
17:21 "To be still"
18:11 What to tell the man still sitting in secret
19:19 Michael's turning point: a pastor, a Wendy's, and four hours of truth
20:39 How the coaching actually works
21:55 No judgment: the guy from the SA meeting
24:04 "I'm Mike, and I'm a sexaholic"
25:05 His book, Sacred Grit
26:47 The first step is the hardest one
28:44 Closing and a final word

thesacredgrit.com
Get my book Exposed: https://a.co/d/0bh9DFHb
Get my book Are You Ready? A Practical Battle Plan for Christian Men: https://a.co/d/07RxCWAc
Search "The Intentional Guy Podcast" on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Deezer, Amazon Music, or iHeartRadio
Come be a guest on The Intentional Guy Podcast: https://www.joinpodmatch.com/intentionalguy

#TheIntentionalGuy #ChristianMen #FaithBasedPodcast #CelebrateRecovery #MensMinistry #SexAddiction #PornRecovery #PastorsStruggle #NervousSystemRegulation #SuicidePrevention

Bonus

Since May I've had three surgeries and complications I never told you about. The episodes you've been watching were recorded weeks, sometimes months, before you saw them. This week I'm telling you what was actually happening behind the screen, and where I found solid ground.

Timestamps (estimated, confirm against final cut):
0:00 Why I'm asking for your prayers today
0:55 What you didn't know about the last three months
1:50 Randy Gladden's episode and the wilderness season
3:00 1 Samuel 30:6, David strengthens himself in the Lord
3:20 My identity was never in what I could carry
4:00 Genesis 3:15, the enemy will not win
4:20 Don't build your identity on your hardest season
4:55 Praying for me and Amber
5:05 Celebrate Recovery and where to find help
5:35 Sign off

Links:
More Than a Picture: Restored & Free: https://www.amazon.com/More-Than-Picture-Restored-Free/dp/B0CCCMZHD3
Exposed: A Memoir: https://www.amazon.com/Exposed-Secret-Divorce-Journey-Restoration/dp/B09PHJS848
Are You Ready? A Practical Battle Plan for Christian Men: [still need you to confirm the right link, see below]
Celebrate Recovery locator: https://crlocator.com/
https://www.joinpodmatch.com/intentionalguy

Hashtags:
#ChristianMen #MensMinistry #CelebrateRecovery #IntentionalGuy #IronSharpensIron #Prayer #FaithAndMentalHealth #Testimony

Ep. 142

If your identity is still wrapped around the worst moment of your life, you're carrying something you were never meant to carry.

J. Randall Gladden built a life most men would call a win. Then he watched nearly everything visible get stripped away, and had to find out who he was underneath it. This conversation is about what's left of a man's identity when the business, the reputation, and the evidence of success are all gone, and where Randy found solid ground instead.

J. Randall Gladden is a strategic advisor, author, and thought leader who works with leaders navigating consequential decisions, emerging opportunities, and complex challenges. Beyond his advisory work is a deeply personal passion, helping people discover who God created them to be. That passion is expressed through God Powered and Young Warriors.

CHAPTERS
0:00 The Hook: Are You Still Defined By Your Worst Moment
1:55 Expectation: What You Tell Yourself Becomes What You Believe
4:50 Losing Everything: Working Two Jobs Just to Survive
6:31 Gideon in the Wine Press: Called Before You Feel Ready
9:01 The Lowest Point: I Didn't See How We'd Survive
10:06 Why God Leads You Into the Wilderness
17:26 The Darkest Moment Is When He Gets Glorified
22:04 Elijah and Elisha: Don't Quit Before the Promise
23:38 63 Years Old and More Excited Than Ever
30:43 Delegated Presence: What It Means to Carry God's Image
44:17 Two Truths After the Pain
53:49 Free Resources and the Final Charge: Strengthen Yourself in the Lord

Randy's book, Delegated Presence, and more of his teaching: https://www.god-powered.com/Videos--Ebooks
His YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@jrandallgladden

Comment INHERITANCE below and let us know what stood out to you.

Grab a copy of my book, Are You Ready? A Practical Battle Plan for Christian Men: https://a.co/d/07RxCWAc

This episode touches a real season of loss and crisis. If it hits you, find a Celebrate Recovery group near you at crlocator.com. In Pensacola, we meet Tuesdays 6 to 8 PM at Momentum Church.

Search The Intentional Guy Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Deezer, Amazon Music, and iHeartRadio.

#TheIntentionalGuy #MensMinistry #CelebrateRecovery #ChristianMen #FaithBasedPodcast

And until next time, just keep being intentional.

Ep. 141