Intentional Guy

I used to think I was a good husband. I showed up, I paid the bills, I never cheated, I never yelled. By every measure I'd been handed, I was fine. My wife would tell you different. She would tell you she was lonely in a house with me in it.

Two years ago a job loss knocked something loose in me, and going quiet turned into hours in the garage, a pipe in my hand and the TV loud enough that I didn't have to hear my own thoughts. I wasn't gone. I was just not there. This week I talk about what it actually took to walk back through that door, the friends who wouldn't let me sit in that garage in peace, and the childhood wound underneath all of it that I thought I had already dealt with.

Adam heard God ask him one question in the garden. Not what did you do. Just where are you. He's still asking that question. Not to condemn you. To find you.

Scripture: Ephesians 5:25 and 1 Peter 3:7.

This is a companion piece to my conversation with Mark Osborne of The Valiant Forge, Ep. 139, which airs the day before this one.

Drop the word GARAGE in the comments so I know you were here today.

If this one hit close to home, your own hiding or somebody else's, you do not have to sit with that alone. Celebrate Recovery has groups all over the country. Find one near you at crlocator.com. If you are in crisis right now, call or text 988.

If you want a practical next step for actually walking this out, "Are You Ready? A Practical Battle Plan for Christian Men" is built for exactly that.

Let's get coffee. Let me be your brother. Let me walk beside you. And until next time, keep being intentional.

#ChristianMen #Marriage #Faith #EmotionalHealth #Recovery

Subscribe: http://youtube.com/@intentionalguy
Newsletter: http://intentionalguy.riverside.com/newsletter
Want to be a guest: http://cal.com/michael-chestnut-hfbot2/podcast

Ep. 140: I Was the Emotionally Unavailable Husband

Fixed and saved. Here's the redo, episode number and title as the last line like we settled on with Brett's:

Mark Osborne hosts The Valiant Forge, a podcast for Christian men, and long before he built that platform he watched his own father go from alcoholism to a faith that broke the pattern in their family.

We talk about what that turnaround taught him, and about a season years later that looked like total success from the outside while he was quietly drifting from God underneath it, and how close it came to costing him his marriage. Mark's take is that you almost never make it through a real battle without scars, and that those scars are proof you're still standing, not proof you failed.

Drop the word SCARS in the comments so I know you were here today.

If anything here stirred something in you, your own dad, your own kids watching you right now, you do not have to carry that by yourself. Celebrate Recovery has groups all over the country. Find one near you at crlocator.com. If you are in crisis right now, call or text 988.

If you want a practical next step for living this out day to day, "Are You Ready? A Practical Battle Plan for Christian Men" is built for exactly that.

And until next time, keep being intentional.

#ChristianMen #Faith #Fatherhood #Masculinity #Recovery

Mark Osborne, The Valiant Forge: https://www.thevaliantforge.com/
The Valiant Forge on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@thevaliantforge

Subscribe: http://youtube.com/@intentionalguy
Newsletter: http://intentionalguy.riverside.com/newsletter
Want to be a guest: http://cal.com/michael-chestnut-hfbot2/podcast

Ep. 139: Scars Prove You're Still Standing

Twenty years ago I went quiet with God. Not angry, just quiet. I kept showing up to church, kept saying amen, kept letting everyone believe I was fine. I wasn't.

Today I talk about the kind of doubt that never gets said out loud. The kind with good manners that just sits in a man for years while he keeps doing everything right on the outside. It ties straight back into yesterday's conversation with Paul Granger, who told me something that cracked this whole thing open for me. Watch it here: https://youtu.be/LJARB2WG94Q

I land on one verse I cannot put down, Mark 9:24, and three things you can actually do this week if you are running on fumes and letting people believe you are fine too.

If it hits you, Celebrate Recovery meets Tuesdays 6 to 8 PM at Momentum Church in Pensacola. Elsewhere, find a group at celebraterecovery.com.

This one is close to the heart of "Are You Ready? A Practical Battle Plan for Christian Men," available on Amazon: https://a.co/d/05nlVfxM

Drop "still" in the comments so I know you were here.

Search The Intentional Guy Podcast to find us wherever you listen.

0:00 Twenty years I couldn't pray
1:19 Doubt with good manners
2:26 What Paul Granger said to me
4:01 Mark 9 and the father's prayer
5:18 The cost of coming back honest
6:30 Three things to do this week
8:19 The challenge, and how to find us

Episode 138

An idol is not just a statue. It is anything that has power over your life, anything calling the shots. Paul Granger heard that from his spiritual father the morning we recorded this, and he bristled at it. Then he sat with it.

Joseph forgotten in that prison. The disciples demanding the storm stop while Jesus slept. The difference between a good Christian and a good Christ follower. And the toe nudge forward, because the step does not have to be big.

Scripture: Matthew 8:26, Mark 9:24, Matthew 7:13 and 14, Proverbs 3:5 and 6.

CHAPTERS
00:00 Just Take the Toe Nudge Forward
01:48 Five Listeners, a Book, and What Paul Said to Me
06:51 What Everybody Else's God Story Does to You
10:00 Eight Years, No Paycheck, and a Prison Like Joseph's
14:50 God, I Don't Actually Have Confidence in You
20:00 I Don't Have to Protect God From My Story
22:12 God, That Was a Softball Moment
25:33 He Napped Through the Storm. They Demanded It Stop.
31:09 A Good Christian or a Good Christ Follower
39:00 The Narrow Gate and the Idol He Wouldn't Call an Idol
45:17 Trying to Be Perfect So God Is Proud of Me
53:19 Something in the Froth, and Where to Find Paul

WHERE TO FIND PAUL
Everything in one place: https://www.wheredidyouseegod.com
Podcast: https://www.wheredidyouseegod.com/podcast
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/where-did-you-see-god/id1438136557
His books: https://amazon.com/author/paulgranger

His newest is Something in the Froth, his first with Morgan James. He also mentioned Rejecting Hope No Longer.

THE INTENTIONAL GUY PODCAST
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@intentionalguy
Newsletter: https://intentionalguy.riverside.com/newsletter
Be a guest: https://cal.com/michael-chestnut-hfbot2/podcast

MY BOOKS
Are You Ready? A Practical Battle Plan for Christian Men: https://a.co/d/02cBh6uY
Exposed: https://www.amazon.com/Exposed-Secret-Divorce-Journey-Restoration/dp/B09PHJS848
More Than A Picture: https://www.amazon.com/More-Than-Picture-Restored-Free/dp/B0CCCMZHD3
All of them: https://www.amazon.com/Michael-Chestnut/e/B09P9ND6MV

IF THIS ONE HIT SOMETHING
Find a Celebrate Recovery group near you: https://crlocator.com
In crisis, call or text 988, any hour.

If you are ready to stop white knuckling it, "Are You Ready?" is the plan. Link above.

Drop the word STEP in the comments so I know you were here.

Search The Intentional Guy Podcast to find us wherever you listen.

Ep. 137

Being punished was easy for me. Accepting grace was almost impossible. I spent years believing grace was the opposite of being a man. Then Brett Knight said something on this show that changed how I see it.

In this episode: why men either reject grace as weak or hide behind it as an excuse, what years of self punishment cost me before I got healed, and what changed it.

My grace is sufficient for thee, for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Second Corinthians 12:9.

Drop the word STRONG in the comments if you're going to say the real thing to one man this week. I read every one.

If this hit close, "Are You Ready? A Practical Battle Plan for Christian Men" is on Amazon.

Companion episode: Brett Knight, criminal defense attorney and pastor, on why punishment and grace were never the same thing. [add Ep. 135 link once it airs]

If this is you right now, don't sit in it alone. Find a Celebrate Recovery group near you. In crisis, call or text 988.

New episodes every week. Guest interviews Wednesday, solo Thursday. Search The Intentional Guy Podcast.

Subscribe: http://youtube.com/@intentionalguy

Newsletter: http://intentionalguy.riverside.com/newsletter

Want to be a guest: http://cal.com/michael-chestnut-hfbot2/podcast

Let's get coffee. Let me be your brother. Let me walk beside you. Until next time, keep being intentional.

#ChristianMen #Grace #Masculinity #PornRecovery #CelebrateRecovery #ChristianPodcast #FaithAndFamily #IntentionalLiving #MensMentalHealth #Accountability

Brett Knight spends his career standing in two rooms most of us never do, a courtroom and a church. He was a prosecutor before he became a defense attorney, and what he saw from both sides changed how he defines justice and grace.

We talk about why punishment can change behavior but cannot heal the pain underneath it, why grace and accountability are not opposites, and why shame may be doing more damage in the recovery community than the addiction itself. Brett has walked hundreds of men and women out of active addiction and into recovery, and this conversation is a look at how he actually does it.

Brett writes about all of this in his book, "From the Gavel to Grace: Setting People Free From Addiction and Into Healing." You can find the book and more of his writing at his website below.

Drop the word GRACE in the comments so I know you were here today.

If anything in this hit close to home for you or somebody you love, Celebrate Recovery has groups all over the country. Find one near you at crlocator.com. If you are in crisis right now, call or text 988.

And until next time, keep being intentional.

#ChristianMen #Grace #Recovery #Addiction #CelebrateRecovery

Brett Knight's website: brettknight.com
Book, "From the Gavel to Grace: Setting People Free From Addiction and Into Healing":
Paperback: https://us.amazon.com/Gavel-Grace-Setting-Addiction-Healing/dp/1971949191
Kindle: https://us.amazon.com/Gavel-Grace-Setting-Addiction-Healing-ebook/dp/B0GYB6JQ47
Audiobook: https://us.amazon.com/Gavel-Grace-Setting-Addiction-Healing/dp/B0H3QRDHBQ

Subscribe: http://youtube.com/@intentionalguy
Newsletter: http://intentionalguy.riverside.com/newsletter
Want to be a guest: http://cal.com/michael-chestnut-hfbot2/podcast

Ep. 135: Grace Is Not Weak

I built my entire picture of my Heavenly Father out of my earthly one. If dad was disappointed, God must be disappointed. If dad was embarrassed of me, God must be embarrassed too. I carried that for years before I ever saw it for what it was.

My dad's version of the talk lasted about thirty seconds. The birds go tweet tweet. The bees go buzz buzz. That was the whole conversation. What he never said is what shaped the next twenty years of my life.

I grew up a preacher's kid, carrying my own shame plus the pressure of never embarrassing the family name. My dad teased me about my grades in front of church members. When I asked him why, he told me it was because he was embarrassed. He was not a villain. He was passing down exactly what got trained into him. Criticism builds character, that is what his parents believed, and that is what he handed me. I do not think he ever knew what he was passing down.

In this episode I talk about the cost of a father's silence, how that silence left me wide open to what the world was more than happy to teach me instead, and the three things that helped me start breaking the cycle with my own kids.

Proverbs 22:6 gets quoted as a promise. It is also a warning. Whatever gets trained into us tends to stick.

In this episode:
How a father's voice becomes the voice you hear from God
Why uncomfortable is not a good enough reason to stay silent
What your son is actually asking when he comes to you
Name it, choose presence over perfection, have one real conversation
The question to ask yourself this week, not someday

Drop the word PRESENT in the comments if you are choosing to show up for your kid before you have it all figured out. I read them.

If this hit something in you, "Are You Ready? A Practical Battle Plan for Christian Men" is the next step. It is the plan I wish somebody had handed me at thirteen, and again at thirty. Available on Amazon.

Companion episode: I had Chris Rogers on the show this week talking about teenage boys and pornography recovery. He is the one who said you do not have to be healed to help. Watch that one next.
[Chris Rogers episode link]

If you are carrying shame from your own father's silence, do not carry it alone. Find a Celebrate Recovery group near you and take one step this week. If you are in crisis, please reach out to a pastor, a counselor, or the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. Call or text 988 in the US.

New episodes every week. Guest interviews Wednesday, solo episodes Thursday. Search The Intentional Guy Podcast wherever you listen.

Subscribe: youtube.com/@intentionalguy
Newsletter: intentionalguy.riverside.com/newsletter
Want to be a guest: cal.com/michael-chestnut-hfbot2/podcast

Let's get coffee. Let me be your brother. Let me walk beside you. Until next time, keep being intentional.

#ChristianMen #FatherWound #Fatherhood #Masculinity #CelebrateRecovery #ChristianPodcast #PreachersKid #FaithAndFamily #IntentionalLiving #MensMentalHealth

Chapters

• 00:00 The Impact of Parental Silence
• 02:01 The Cycle of Imperfect Training
• 06:37 Breaking the Cycle Through Open Communication

If your son was struggling with pornography, would he tell you? Would he even know he could?

Most of us grew up in homes where nobody talked about this — so we learned to hide it. Now our kids carry more temptation in their pocket than we ever had access to. In this episode, Michael Chestnut sits down with Chris Rogers, former teacher and founder of Rebooted Teen, who coaches teens and high-performing men through compulsive sexual behavior — and who's walked his own road of recovery.

You'll learn:

• The two questions every kid is really asking: "Am I safe?" and "Can I trust you?"
• Why leading with shame guarantees they stay stuck ("If you lead with shame, they stay the same")
• The 3 categories of red flags to watch for — technological, social, and behavioral
• How to have the conversation even if you're still fighting this battle yourself
• Why it's not you vs. your child — it's you and your child vs. the problem

🎁 FREE Parent Resource from Chris: https://rebootedteen.com

⏱️ Timestamps:
0:00 – Would your son tell you?
1:48 – Chris's story: from music teacher to recovery coach
5:50 – How does a dad even start this conversation?
7:53 – "If you lead with shame, they stay the same"
10:53 – Red flags: technological, social, and behavioral
14:20 – What boundaries are really for
19:03 – You don't have to be the one to fix it
20:33 – The home as the "rehearsal room"
24:12 – Social media and the most anxious generation ever
30:33 – "How can I talk to my son when I'm still struggling?"
32:35 – Mike's birds-and-bees story
35:15 – Being matter-of-fact + the Rebooted Teen Parent Program
40:08 – One action every dad should take today
42:27 – Curiosity is a superpower — you are your child's original influencer

🔔 Subscribe for weekly conversations helping men live free and intentional.

📍 Find a Celebrate Recovery near you: https://www.celebraterecovery.com

#TheIntentionalGuyPodcast #ChristianMen #PornAddictionRecovery

For hours at a time, I sat alone in my garage smoking a pipe. No secrets. No shame. Nothing I'd have to hide if you walked in. And that "harmless little hobby" was quietly eating my life.

This episode isn't about my struggles — it's about yours. Maybe your garage is a bottle, a game, a phone, the gym, the boat, or the deer stand. Hobbies are good. But there's a difference between a hobby that restores you to your people and an escape that removes you from them.

In this episode:

• The escape I never wrote about in either of my books
• The "false positive" — how the enemy comes through the door you never thought to check
• 1 Corinthians 6:12 — permissible things that master you
• Genesis 3:9 — the first question God ever asked a man: "Where are you?"
• Four practical steps to name what's underneath and take your hours back

THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE: Name your garage. One sentence: "My escape is ___, and it helps me avoid ___." Then drop the word GARAGE in the comments — and when you see it from another brother, pray for him. He just turned on a light.

RESOURCES:
📖 Are You Ready? — 12 short chapters, each readable in about five minutes. Built for the man who's done hiding. [PASTE LINK]
📖 Exposed — my full story: how far down I went, and how God pulled me back. https://www.amazon.com/Exposed-Secret-Divorce-Journey-Restoration/dp/B09PHJS848

#TheIntentionalGuy #ChristianMen #MensMinistry #CelebrateRecovery #Escape #Addiction #Recovery #FaithAndFreedom #ChristianPodcast #MenOfGod #IntentionalLiving #BiblicalManhood #Accountability #HurtsHangupsHabits #Freedom