Intimacy Lab

Michelle was about to interview the author of an unpublished book — until she actually read it. In this solo episode, she unpacks why she canceled, taking on the "prioritize sex twice a week no matter what" model of marriage, the quiet harm of duty sex, and what gets lost when desire becomes an obligation. Along the way: her own asexuality and responsive desire, a critique of medicalizing low libido, a Wheel of Consent plug, and one very spicy "We're Not Really Strangers" cards story.

Links to note:

Wheel of Consent free videos: https://www.wheelofconsent.org/free-videos

The Art of Receiving and Giving: The Wheel of Consent by Betty Martin and Robyn Dalzen: https://amzn.to/4ajCRTo

Like a Pro: Wheel of Consent for Professionals: https://www.schoolofconsent.org/like-a-pro

We're Not Really Strangers XXX edition: https://amzn.to/4aTaA68

Michelle sits down with menopause doula Traci Thrash (The Change Doula) for a wide-ranging, no-filter conversation about perimenopause brain fog, what pleasure actually means outside of sex, the asexual/demisexual spectrum, the Wheel of Consent, autonomy in long-term relationships, and the HRT and lifestyle tools they swear by.

Traci is a menopause doula based outside Madison, Wisconsin. She supports women in perimenopause, menopause, and midlife through 1:1 work and group programs, focusing on connection and community as much as education. Find her at https://www.thechangedoulas.com/.

Michelle Renee (she/her) is a therapeutic intimacy specialist, trained as both a Cuddle Therapist and Surrogate Partner, and a co-owner at https://Cuddlist.com. She practices a trauma-informed, consent-based approach that helps folks of all genders rebuild trust with touch, set clear boundaries, and access authentic pleasure ... at their own pace. She serves clients nationwide as a holistic intimacy coach and partners with therapists to integrate somatic, consent-based healing. Michelle's websites are ⁠https://meetmichellerenee.com⁠⁠ and ⁠https://humanconnectionlab.com⁠ and she can be found on social media at ⁠https://instagram.com/meetmichellerenee⁠.

• What a "menopause doula" actually does

• Why community — not just information — is what people are craving in midlife

• Redefining "pleasure" and "desire" as words that don't have to mean sex

• Soft Cock Week and reframing what counts as a "real" sexual experience

• Michelle's story of realizing she's asexual/gray-sexual at 47

• Demisexuality, gray-sexual, and "nebulosexual" — labels that helped both of them make sense of their experiences

• The Wheel of Consent and why receiving a genuine "no" can be the deepest form of intimacy

• Autonomy, relationship anarchy, and not needing total overlap with a partner

• The "rope widow" season — staying close while pursuing very different interests

• Why empowerment narratives for older women default to sex, and what's missing from that picture

• HRT journeys, finding a doctor who actually listens, and favorite midlife self-care finds

  
  

  Resources & Mentions

• Wheel of Consent framework (Betty Martin)

• Estrogen Matters — book on HRT and breast cancer risk

• The Slow Moon Climbs by Susan P. Mattern — anthropological look at menopause

• MIDI Health — telehealth HRT provider

• Vulva Balm by Medicine Mama — for labial/vulvar dryness

• Fiber gummies (Metamucil, Miralax-style) for midlife gut health

• Dual-zone heated mattress pad — relationship-saving bedroom hack

  
  

  If you’d like to ask a question for Michelle to answer on an episode, or you’d like to join her for an Intimacy Lab Experience, visit https://intimacylabpodcast.com.

  
  

  To grab your own set of We’re Not Really Strangers https://amzn.to/47XJjvm

  
  

  Become a Cuddlist Certified Touch Practitioner and save 10%: https://Cuddlist.com Use code MEETMICHELLERENEE for 10% off

A note for clients and anyone who knows me personally: This episode contains explicit sexual content and detailed personal disclosure. If you aren't sure whether to listen, don't. If you can listen with curiosity and take good care of yourself along the way, please do. You're always welcome to bring whatever comes up into our next session.

Michelle sits down with Jake Apton, a porn performer, stripper, cosplayer, and self-described "big fucking nerd" she briefly met at the AVN Expo in January but never really got to know. What starts as a tour of Jake's deeply personal tattoo collection quickly opens into a wide-ranging conversation about building a life and career in sex work, navigating identity and attraction as a gay man who "doesn't read gay," the surprising overlap between anime convention culture and adult entertainment, and what it means to reclaim your relationship with your own libido. They play a few rounds of We're Not Really Strangers, swap stories about armpits (yes, really), and land in unexpectedly tender territory about friend breakups, depression, and the people in your life who aren't "people." Those are the ones you can just sit on a couch with and not say a word. A warm, unscripted, delightfully wide-open conversation with someone Michelle barely knew before hitting record and now kind of feels like she does.

Jake Apton is a porn performer, exotic dancer, cosplayer, and content creator based in New York City. You can find all his links at https://lnk.bio/jcapwolf.

Michelle Renee (she/her) is a therapeutic intimacy specialist, trained as both a Cuddle Therapist and Surrogate Partner, and a co-owner at https://Cuddlist.com. She practices a trauma-informed, consent-based approach that helps folks of all genders rebuild trust with touch, set clear boundaries, and access authentic pleasure ... at their own pace. She serves clients nationwide as a holistic intimacy coach and partners with therapists to integrate somatic, consent-based healing. Michelle's websites are ⁠https://meetmichellerenee.com⁠⁠ and ⁠https://humanconnectionlab.com⁠ and she can be found on social media at ⁠https://instagram.com/meetmichellerenee⁠.

If you’d like to ask a question for Michelle to answer on an episode, or you’d like to join her for an Intimacy Lab Experience, visit https://intimacylabpodcast.com.

To grab your own set of We’re Not Really Strangers https://amzn.to/47XJjvm

Become a Cuddlist Certified Touch Practitioner and save 10%: https://Cuddlist.com Use code MEETMICHELLERENEE for 10% off

Michelle catches up with consent educator and DC Cuddle Club founder Jax for a free-ranging conversation that somehow covers all the bases: from Michelle's red carpet debut at the GAYVNs and a memorable sex experiment with a gay friend, to a deep-dive into the HBO show Heated Rivalry and what it unexpectedly teaches about the Wheel of Consent. The centerpiece is a gorgeous breakdown of the "listening turn" practice -- and why one scene in Episode 5 is the most perfect real-world demonstration of it you'll ever see on television. Plus: AVN aftercare products, neurodivergence and communication styles, asking for what you want in relationships, and why your micro world matters more than ever right now.

Links mentioned in this episode:

The Heated Rivarly clip: https://youtu.be/ueoxEiqqwG0?si=hw2DCtUHUY9MVZL-

Betty Martin: https://www.wheelofconsent.org/about

Dr Tush: https://drtushproducts.com/ use MEETMICHELLERENEE for 20% off

https://fan.adultentertainmentexpo.com/

Heated Rivalry on HBO: https://www.hbomax.com/shows/heated-rivalry/50cd4e99-04ee-427b-a3b4-da721ed05d9c

https://www.tryquinn.com/

Bios:

Jax (she/her) is a consent and intimacy educator, coach, and companion based in the DMV/Northeast Corridor. Her work spans erotic touch, erotic coaching, and platonic touch and cuddling. She is the founder of DC Cuddle Club, with affiliates in Atlanta and LA, and is a certified Wheel of Consent facilitator who teaches Like a Pro workshops across the country.

Find Jax:

Website: https://touchbyjax.com

DC Cuddle Club: https://dccuddleclubs.com

Instagram & Facebook: @touchedbyjax

Michelle Renee (she/her) is a therapeutic intimacy specialist, trained as both a Cuddle Therapist and Surrogate Partner, and a co-owner at https://Cuddlist.com. She practices a trauma-informed, consent-based approach that helps folks of all genders rebuild trust with touch, set clear boundaries, and access authentic pleasure ... at their own pace. She serves clients nationwide as a holistic intimacy coach and partners with therapists to integrate somatic, consent-based healing. Michelle's websites are ⁠https://meetmichellerenee.com⁠⁠ and ⁠https://humanconnectionlab.com⁠ and she can be found on social media at ⁠https://instagram.com/meetmichellerenee⁠.

If you’d like to ask a question for Michelle to answer on an episode, or you’d like to join her for an Intimacy Lab Experience, visit https://intimacylabpodcast.com.

To grab your own set of We’re Not Really Strangers https://amzn.to/47XJjvm

Become a Cuddlist Certified Touch Practitioner and save 10%: https://cuddlist.com use code MEETMICHELLERENEE

A note for clients and anyone who knows me personally: This episode contains explicit sexual content and detailed personal disclosure. If you aren't sure whether to listen, don't. If you can listen with curiosity and take good care of yourself along the way, please do. You're always welcome to bring whatever comes up into our next session.

In this episode of "The Intimacy Lab," Michelle Renee and Jamie Marich explore the intersections of intimacy, therapy, and personal growth. They discuss their experiences with EMDR, the concept of "Misfit Alley," and the importance of authenticity in both personal and professional spaces. The conversation delves into the nuances of human connection, the role of dissociation in therapy, and the evolving landscape of platonic and sexual relationships. Both hosts share personal anecdotes, highlighting the significance of energy and vibe in relationships, and the balance between independence and intimacy.

Dr. Jamie Marich (she/they) is a TEDx speaker, clinical trauma specialist, expressive artist, and recovery advocate who helps people and systems heal from trauma and shame—especially where religion or spirituality has caused harm—so they can find personalized, stigma-free transformation. Based in Akron, Ohio, Jamie teaches internationally on trauma, EMDR therapy, expressive arts, and spiritual abuse, while running a private practice and online education programs; she’s also the founder of the Institute for Creative Mindfulness and creator of the Dancing Mindfulness approach. A queer woman in long-term recovery who lives with dissociative identities, Jamie is the author of numerous books on EMDR, trauma, and recovery, and her work has been featured by The New York Times and recognized with advocacy awards from NALGAP and EMDRIA. You can find her at https://jamiemarich.com/ or on IG at https://www.instagram.com/drjamiem/

Michelle Renee (she/her) is a therapeutic intimacy specialist, trained as both a Cuddle Therapist and Surrogate Partner, and a co-owner at https://Cuddlist.com. She practices a trauma-informed, consent-based approach that helps folks of all genders rebuild trust with touch, set clear boundaries, and access authentic pleasure ... at their own pace. She serves clients nationwide as a holistic intimacy coach and partners with therapists to integrate somatic, consent-based healing.

Michelle's websites are ⁠https://meetmichellerenee.com⁠⁠ and ⁠https://humanconnectionlab.com⁠ and she can be found on social media at ⁠https://instagram.com/meetmichellerenee⁠.

If you’d like to ask a question for Michelle to answer on an episode, or you’d like to join her for an Intimacy Lab Experience, visit https://intimacylabpodcast.com.

To grab your own set of We’re Not Really Strangers https://amzn.to/47XJjvm

Become a Cuddlist Certified Touch Practitioner and save 10%: https://cuddlist.podia.com/cuddlist-certification/6dnxo?coupon=REFERRAL

In this heartfelt episode, Michelle Renee shares her journey from a challenging marriage to finding independence and self-love. Explore the importance of addressing codependency and nurturing the inner child for personal growth and happiness.

Michelle Renee (she/her) is a therapeutic intimacy specialist, trained as both a Cuddle Therapist and Surrogate Partner, and a co-owner at https://Cuddlist.com. She practices a trauma-informed, consent-based approach that helps folks of all genders rebuild trust with touch, set clear boundaries, and access authentic pleasure ... at their own pace. She serves clients nationwide as a holistic intimacy coach and partners with therapists to integrate somatic, consent-based healing.

Michelle's websites are ⁠https://meetmichellerenee.com⁠⁠ and ⁠https://humanconnectionlab.com⁠ and she can be found on social media at ⁠https://instagram.com/meetmichellerenee⁠.

If you’d like to ask a question for Michelle to answer on an episode, or you’d like to join her for an Intimacy Lab Experience, visit https://intimacylabpodcast.com.

To grab your own set of We’re Not Really Strangers https://amzn.to/47XJjvm

Become a Cuddlist Certified Touch Practitioner and save 10%: https://cuddlist.podia.com/cuddlist-certification/6dnxo?coupon=REFERRAL

In this engaging conversation, Michelle Renee and Nathan Young explore the profound impact of storytelling and narrative leadership on personal and professional growth. They delve into the complexities of self-branding, the importance of vulnerability, and the emotional challenges faced in relationships and entrepreneurship. Through their shared experiences, they highlight the significance of support systems, effective communication, and creating safe spaces for deeper exploration and healing. The discussion also touches on generational patterns and the journey of reprogramming responses to relationships, ultimately emphasizing the power of connection and understanding in navigating life's challenges. In this conversation, Nathan and Michelle explore the complexities of self-compassion, emotional needs in relationships, and the evolution of love. They discuss the importance of consent in emotional exchanges, the challenges of maintaining attraction, and the dynamics of open relationships. The dialogue delves into the impact of past experiences on present relationships and the struggle for emotional vulnerability. They also reflect on the societal expectations surrounding sex and intimacy, emphasizing the need for deeper connections beyond physical encounters.

Nathan Young is the owner and founder of StoryCulture Consulting. For over twelve years, he’s been helping leaders, teams, and organizations harness the power of storytelling to connect, inspire, and lead the narrative.

Nathan can be found on instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/nathancodyyoung/ and his website is https://storycultureconsulting.com/

Michelle Renee (she/her) is a therapeutic intimacy specialist, trained as both a Cuddle Therapist and Surrogate Partner, and the co-owner & Director of Training at Cuddlist.com. She practices a trauma-informed, consent-based approach that helps folks of all genders rebuild trust with touch, set clear boundaries, and access authentic pleasure ... at their own pace. She serves clients nationwide and partners with therapists to integrate somatic, consent-based healing.

Michelle's websites are ⁠https://meetmichellerenee.com⁠⁠ and ⁠https://humanconnectioncoach.com⁠ and she can be found on social media at ⁠https://instagram.com/meetmichellerenee⁠.

If you'd like to have your own Intimacy Lab experience, book your one-on-one with Michelle and get the experience of the podcast, but privately. Go to https://intimacylabpodcast.com for more information.

To grab your own set of We’re Not Really Strangers https://amzn.to/47XJjvm

Become a Cuddlist Certified Touch Practitioner and save 10%: https://cuddlist.podia.com/cuddlist-certification/6dnxo?coupon=REFERRAL

In this episode of the Intimacy Lab, Michelle Renee speaks with Angela Rivero, a somatic practitioner and sex and relationship coach. They explore the concepts of somatic experiencing, the healing process, and the importance of emotional intelligence in relationships. Angela shares insights on trauma, grief, and the significance of reconnecting with oneself. The conversation also touches on boundaries, the power of asking for help, and the journey of self-discovery in navigating intimacy and desire.

Takeaways

• Healing is not a destination but a journey of reconnection.
• Somatic experiencing helps us understand our body's signals.
• Emotions need to be felt and processed, not suppressed.
• Grief is a natural part of healing and self-discovery.
• Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
• Boundaries are essential for healthy relationships.
• Celebrating small wins can foster self-acceptance.
• Recognizing glimmers of joy is crucial for emotional health.
• Curiosity about our desires can enhance intimacy.
• Generosity in relationships requires clear boundaries.

Angela Rivero is a Somatic Experiencing practitioner and sex & relationship coach based in Escondido, CA. She specializes in female intimacy and anatomy education, guiding clients to understand body signals, complete stress cycles, and build capacity for safety, pleasure, and connection. Angela supports complex trauma healing, boundaries, and changing desire through practical, compassionate tools. She works with clients online and in person, hosts the Everyday Intimacy with Angela Rivera podcast, and her website is https://somashift.org.

Michelle Renee (she/her) is a therapeutic intimacy specialist, trained as both a Cuddle Therapist and Surrogate Partner, and the co-owner & Director of Training at Cuddlist.com. She practices a trauma-informed, consent-based approach that helps folks of all genders rebuild trust with touch, set clear boundaries, and access authentic pleasure ... at their own pace. She serves clients nationwide and partners with therapists to integrate somatic, consent-based healing. Michelle's websites are ⁠https://meetmichellerenee.com⁠⁠ and ⁠https://humanconnectioncoach.com⁠ and she can be found on social media at ⁠https://instagram.com/meetmichellerenee⁠.

If you’d like to ask a question for Michelle to answer on an episode, https://www.meetmichellerenee.com/podcast

To grab your own set of We’re Not Really Strangers https://amzn.to/47XJjvm

Become a Cuddlist Certified Touch Practitioner and save 10%: https://cuddlist.podia.com/cuddlist-certification/6dnxo?coupon=REFERRAL

In this episode of the Intimacy Lab, Michelle Renee discusses her journey as a therapeutic intimacy specialist and cuddle therapist. She reflects on her recent experiences, including feelings of insecurity about sharing personal stories and the balance between openness and sensitivity in conversations about intimacy and sex. Michelle emphasizes the importance of authenticity, self-reflection, and the need for healing through touch in relationships. She encourages listeners to embrace their own journeys and to seek connections that resonate with them.

Takeaways

• Michelle emphasizes following her excitement in projects.
• She reflects on the feedback received from her last episode.
• Navigating insecurities about being 'too much' is a common theme.
• Authenticity in conversations about intimacy is crucial.
• Michelle shares her experiences at a cuddle retreat.
• She discusses the balance between openness and sensitivity.
• The importance of cleaning up any conversational messes is highlighted.
• Michelle believes in the power of touch in healing.
• She encourages listeners to embrace their own journeys.
• Future episodes will explore various topics in intimacy.




Michelle Renee (she/her) is a San Diego-based Human Connection Coach and Cuddle Therapist. Michelle's websites are ⁠https://meetmichellerenee.com⁠⁠ and ⁠https://humanconnectioncoach.com⁠ and she can be found on social media at ⁠https://instagram.com/meetmichellerenee⁠.




If you’d like to ask a question for Michelle to answer on an episode, https://www.meetmichellerenee.com/podcast




To grab your own set of We’re Not Really Strangers https://amzn.to/47XJjvm




Become a Cuddlist Certified Touch Practitioner and save 10%: https://cuddlist.podia.com/cuddlist-certification/6dnxo?coupon=REFERRAL

A note for clients and anyone who knows me personally: This episode contains explicit sexual content and detailed personal disclosure. If you aren't sure whether to listen, don't. If you can listen with curiosity and take good care of yourself along the way, please do. You're always welcome to bring whatever comes up into our next session.

In this episode, Michelle and Coach Alex Ray debrief their recent intimate experiment, exploring themes of vulnerability, friendship, and sexual orientation. They discuss the emotional highs and lows of their experience, the importance of communication in navigating intimacy, and the complexities of arousal and connection. Through laughter and tears, they reflect on the significance of their bond and the lessons learned about themselves and each other. In this conversation, Michelle and Coach Alex explore the complexities of asexuality, communication in intimate relationships, and the importance of understanding individual preferences in sexual experiences. They discuss the significance of pleasure beyond orgasms, the challenges of arousal and desire, and the need for comprehensive sexual education. The dialogue emphasizes the diversity of bodies and the importance of vulnerability and communication in fostering deeper connections.

Alex Ray (he/she/they) is an internationally certified sex and relationship coach with eight years of experience. Whether guiding singles toward their dream partner, bringing couples closer together, or supporting an amicable separation, Alex specializes in helping people speak up for their needs and desires with confidence.

Passionate about sex education and open conversations, Alex is launching Kink Curious, a new podcast premiering in May, where they explore the why behind what turns people on. They’re also building an employee-owned sex education company to bring shame-free learning to more people.

Connect with Alex online ⁠@heyalexgay on⁠ ⁠Instagram⁠ and ⁠TikTok⁠ or ⁠coachalexray.com⁠

Michelle Renee (she/her) is a San Diego-based Human Connection Coach and Cuddle Therapist. Michelle's websites are⁠ ⁠https://meetmichellerenee.com⁠⁠⁠ and⁠ ⁠https://humanconnectioncoach.com⁠⁠ and she can be found on social media at⁠ ⁠https://instagram.com/meetmichellerenee⁠⁠.

If you’d like to ask a question for Michelle to answer on an episode, ⁠https://www.meetmichellerenee.com/podcast⁠