Nic is in this movie for a grand total of 30 seconds, he's wearing a weird fake nose, his role makes NO sense, and in a fit of rage, Josh tries to convince himself that he was playing an omnipotent God in the movie. So that happens.

We're so sorry.

The guys watch Moonstruck, Charlie struggles to pronounce Cher's name, and Josh desperately tries to get Charlie to agree to a suicide pact. Look, it's only fair that you guys know what you're getting in to.

On the first half of today's vaguely-musical double episode, Josh and Charlie talk about Raising Arizona. For the second half, they hold the inaugural Quarterly Cage Awards! Honoring all things weirdly and beautifully Nic Cage.

Peggy Sue Got Married is 1) good, 2) includes large amounts of Nicolas Cage, 3) is not directed by Francis Ford Coppola and 4) does not involve Nic doing a weird voice. One of these is not true. It's the one you all hope it is.

Josh and Charlie watch what is legitimately the worst movies they've ever seen and because Charlie is still recovering from a surgery, he is only able to speak through a text-to-speech app with the voice of a British woman. That should be enough to convince you to listen, right?

This is a movie about a man who's sexually attracted to birds and honestly the strangest thing about it is that the man is not played by Nicolas Cage. This episode gets weird.

This week, Josh and Charlie watch a groundbreaking movie in the Nic Cage movie canon - The Cotton Club. Directed by Francis Kia Sorento Coppola, this film does not delve into the topic of Nicolas Cage pocket watches, but guess who does? I'll give you a hint. It's us.

Girl likes Sean Penn. Sean Penn likes girl. But can they work it out?!! We don't care - we just want to watch Nic Cage dance. And those glorious glorious locks.

This is another one of those movies that Nic is like, kind of in, but mostly it's Matt Dillon playing RUSTY JAMES - a name that somehow no one in the movie (and also Charlie) can stop saying.