I have discovered that I am putting on myself without my even noticing and how they were affecting me. Sometimes we have unknown expectations set on us by unknown forces sometimes those forces could be coming from ourselves which is scary but knowing is half the battle. I hope you guys are having a good day and please stay amazing ^^

One of the things that makes me smile and happy to see is someone working to better themselves. It always gives me so much energy to see that happen, but the thing is that it is usually for the person that I am seeing and not for myself. Whenever I see these types of things it is always directed toward another person and maybe that is because if I see someone else working hard like that then maybe I could work hard for myself as well. Anyway this is me talking about this stuff also thank you again for listening and I hope you guys are safe.

I talk about this weight that I have been feeling, the pressure of wondering if I could keep doing what I am doing. Thinking about having to stop making these types of content, thinking about having to stop feeling good and light about being able to make these types of content makes the very action of making said content hard. I talk about my feelings and thoughts about all of this as well as how I have been processing through it all. You guys are amazing and thank you so much for taking time to listen to my dumb butt express my inner feelings about moments in my life. 

I go on a rant about some stuff about streaming and since I did not have something for the podcast that day I jumped on the opportunity to make an episode about my rant. Also seriously stop being so cute cause I really don't have any self control *looks you up and down* >.< *holds in urge to give hug*

This is when I started to noticed that I needed to start taking action in my life, because as much as I thought about the things that I needed to do I would have and never would have gotten them done if I did not get myself to do them. It is easier said than done, but knowing if half the battle or so they say.

Hey I'm sorry about not uploading in over a month, I have been going through a lot of reflecting these past couple of weeks so I have been very inconsistent with my work on this podcast. It hurts thinking about how much I have not been keeping up with it but going through all of the episodes I have recorded was nice and I hope that you as well gain something from listening to the changes that I have been going through.

This episode is about me being in the moment realizing that I take in other people's opinions of me a lot, subtly, without me seeing it. It was in this moment that I saw how freeing it is to not take into account what others think about me or more accurately what I think they think about me. If you somehow found this and are listening thank you so much for taking the time to listen, hope you found some value in this ^^

This is my third time speaking into the mic in this format and I still don't know what this is exactly but I do know that I am enjoying getting my thoughts out. As well as the thought that one day in the future when I grow as a person I have this so that I can look back on and see how I thought verse how I am thinking. Even now I look back on these talks and it is like I am listening to another person but that person I understand completely, it is a very interesting feeling to have and I really want to see where this goes. I recorded this a bit ago and just know uploading it sorry about that, if you made it this far reading, I wanted to say thank you for finding me however you found me and I hope that the things that I say help you in anyway ^^

Still unsure as to what I am trying to do with this podcast, its more like a audio diary at this point. I guess its more for documentation than education or entertainment but all in all here is me trying to figure out my own thoughts and finding my way through them. Hopefully one day I'll know what I need and want to do to reach you and share good emotions. 

I don't know what this is but I know that this is me doing, starting. Just letting out my thoughts and taking action toward the things I want to do, hopefully someone relates to this and knows that they are not alone.