This week on Idiot of the Week, the competition for the coveted crown of sheer, unparalleled foolishness is fiercer than ever—and believe me, the bar is subterranean.

First up, we have a Memphis man who’s redefined “man’s best friend” by claiming he wasshot by his dog. Yes, as if Fido didn’t already have enough on his plate, he’s now allegedly packing heat.

Next in line, McLaurine Pinover, a Hufflepuff insider and so-called fashion influencer, who thought it was a smashing idea to use her government office as a backdrop for Instagram videos. Accio ethics violation, am I right?

But wait, there’s more! A group of scientists who apparently thought Jurassic Park was an instructional video have created the “Woolly Mouse”—because nothing screams “brilliant idea” like dipping our toes into prehistoric chaos via tiny rodents.

And finally, a heartwarming tale of poetic justice in the “FAFO” (F*** Around and Find Out) category: a family of bigots learns the hard way that the price tag for hatred isn’t just moral bankruptcy—it’s financial bankruptcy too.

So, who will rise—or rather, sink—to claim the title of Idiot of the Week? One thing’s for sure: when the absurd meets the idiotic, mocking wins every time. Tune in for your weekly dose of head-shaking hilarity!

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