In this deeply emotional episode of the Irene Podcast, Shellene Hawkins shares her powerful story of resilience, survival, and transformation.

From experiencing childhood sexual abuse to navigating infertility, betrayal, and a high-conflict, toxic marriage, Shellene opens up about what it truly feels like to be caught in a cycle you cannot easily escape.

Why is it so hard to leave a narcissistic or toxic relationship?

This conversation explores the psychological and emotional pull that keeps people staying longer than they ever expected including trauma bonds, manipulation, and the deep desire to hold a family together, even when everything is falling apart.

Shellene also shares the reality of what happens after, the mental health battles, the rebuilding process, and the strength it takes to choose healing over bitterness. Her story takes an unexpected and powerful turn as she reflects on forgiveness, growth, and finding peace in places she never thought possible.

If you have ever questioned why someone stayed, or if you have struggled to leave a toxic relationship yourself, this episode will give you clarity, understanding, and hope.

Shellene Hawkins

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Lindy’s Story: Surviving Abuse, Reclaiming Safety, and Building Riptide Helix

On the Irene Podcast, Hope interviews her friend Lindy, a mom of five, survivor of childhood abuse, and founder of Riptide Helix. Lindy describes an unstable childhood marked by homelessness, food scarcity, religious trauma, and a father who was physically, verbally, sexually, and spiritually abusive, with pressure to maintain a perfect image in a strict LDS environment. While pregnant at 31, Lindy experienced intense PTSD during intimacy, recovered suppressed memories of rape, and pursued EMDR therapy and support from a local women’s organization. She shares statistics on abuse and delayed disclosure, emphasizes finding the right therapist, and explains how her healing informs Riptide Helix, combining genomics health coaching, mindset coaching, and reiki to help others navigate “riptides” in life.

02:19 Childhood Instability
04:12 Soccer as Outlet
07:16 Image and Religion
11:20 ACEs and Not Alone
12:15 Shame and Taboo
14:09 Abuse Cycle at Home
15:41 Sexual Threat Awareness
18:33 Seeking Help Dismissed
21:27 Empathy and Accountability
28:57 Healing and Faith
33:02 Twenties and Trigger Event
34:22 Twenties Healing Reset
35:02 Cutting Dad Off
35:56 Mom Breaks Boundaries
37:46 Choosing No Contact
39:07 Fresh Start Move
39:44 PTSD Flashback Returns
41:04 The Fish Was Bigger
44:27 Horror Night Aftermath
48:19 Finding Support Systems
53:09 EMDR And The Science
57:02 Reclaiming Wholeness
01:01:48 Riptide Helix Mission
01:04:30 Closing Thanks And Links

Lindy Blakley:

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Unfamiliar Isn’t Unsafe: Healing the Nervous System After Trauma.

On the Irene Podcast, therapist Jennie Pool returns to discuss healing and nervous system safety, emphasizing that “unfamiliar is not the same as unsafe” and that change requires building nervous-system capacity to tolerate the unfamiliar rather than relying on willpower. They explore how people may loop back to harmful patterns because the nervous system prefers familiar pain, how grounding and rest help recalibrate, and how nature, movement, and personal rituals (like walking, fresh air, or earthing) reduce tension. They describe challenges after abusive relationships, including expecting “the other shoe to drop” in healthy relationships, and how safe partners and secure attachment bonds help reorient to peace. Practical steps include identifying safe places and people, connecting to community resources, rebuilding self-care routines, and using 24/7 tools for support. They also cover helping adult children heal from abusive homes through invitations to therapy, respecting window of tolerance, listening, apologizing, and modeling repair.

00:00 Welcome Back Jennie
00:44 Familiar Versus Safe
02:16 Rewiring For Safety
03:46 Rest And Recovery
04:13 Grounding In Nature
06:46 City Energy And Adaptation
07:55 Ocean Healing Ions
09:24 Safe Love After Chaos
12:42 Attachment As Anchor
14:32 Daily Grounding After Abuse
16:29 Micro Self Care Steps
17:04 Movement And Fresh Air
20:33 Community Resources Help
21:18 Helping Adult Children Heal
23:03 Window Of Tolerance
24:57 Be A Safe Parent
29:50 Hold Space And Repair
32:31 Apologies Teach Skills
33:42 Podcast Wrap Up

Jennie with Mend Counseling

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Natalie Tallakson: Leaving Abuse, Rebuilding Life, and Trusting Your Intuition.

On the Irene Podcast, Natalie Tallakson shares how she left a 19-year abusive relationship in 2018 after realizing the harm was affecting her children, then packed a small U-Haul and drove from southwest Georgia to her family in Southern Utah, where she was met with support. She discusses how fear, shame, trauma bonding, and hoping things would improve kept her stuck, especially within a military family nearing retirement and after repeated deployments. Natalie describes rebuilding through boundaries, self-healing, journaling “evidence” to strengthen intuition, and later meeting her current husband via online dating, emphasizing mutual respect, apologies, and freedom from control. The conversation highlights mindset, trusting gut instincts, finding support systems (including podcasts), and her advice to take the first “leap of faith” step, after which the next steps appear.

00:00 Natalie’s Escape Story
02:43 Why Leaving Is Hard
04:09 Rebuilding After Abuse
05:44 Kids Spark the Wake Up
06:42 Military Life and False Hope
10:05 Dating Yourself Then Dating Apps
11:49 Co Parenting and Boundaries
15:17 Fear Shame and Self Love
16:50 Trust Your Body and Intuition
20:12 No Is a Full Sentence
22:15 Mother’s Intuition Connection
24:27 Living by Intuition
24:43 Book of Evidence Journal
26:50 Grace and Shared Struggles
28:08 Support Systems to Escape
30:16 Breadcrumbs and Trauma Bonds
32:41 Healing Takes Time
33:33 Self Love and Green Flags
35:36 Healthy Marriage Repair
38:20 Empathy and Safe Spaces
41:25 Reinventing After Survival
43:31 Presence Over Anxiety
45:30 Leap of Faith Advice
46:55 Closing Thanks

Natalie Tallakson

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How Domestic Violence Affects Children: Resilience, Cycles of Violence, and Empowerment

On the Irene Podcast, licensed clinical social worker and certified Utah DV provider Kenzie Bradshaw Betancur discusses domestic violence as an ongoing “atmosphere” that affects families and children, drawing on her experience at a Children’s Justice Center and her current work with both survivors and people who have used violence in court-involved treatment. She shares statistics from the Office of Women’s Health (one in six children witness physical assault of a parent or important adult; boys who see their mother abused are 10 times more likely to abuse female partners) and references the ACE study linking higher scores to smoking, alcoholism, and drug use, while noting resilience improves when a child has at least one supportive adult. The conversation emphasizes education as empowerment, accountability without excusing harm, barriers to leaving (safety, finances, childcare, isolation), and using the Irene app to recognize abuse and reframe communication. The host shares her own abuse, divorce, forgiveness/acceptance, spirituality, and the role of support systems and self-worth in healing.

00:00 Welcome and Guest Intro
00:27 Kenzie Background and CJC Work
01:59 Adoption Story and Inspiration
03:08 From Advocacy to Therapy Roles
04:44 Working With Those Using Violence
07:41 Empowerment and Tools Like Irene
11:28 DV as an Atmosphere and Training
12:56 Key Stats and ACE Resilience
17:10 Why Leaving Is So Dangerous
20:50 Men and Stigma in DV
24:32 Irene for Awareness and Change
27:46 Tactics vs Dynamics and Root Causes
29:37 Victim Roles and Patterns
30:07 Love Bombing and Breadcrumbs
30:49 Breaking Point and Clean Exit
33:15 Forgiveness as Freedom
36:32 Acceptance and Taking Power
39:45 Building Resilience with Support
42:41 Resources and Self Empowerment
48:46 Silencing Doubt with Truths
53:49 Reclaiming Worth and Faith
59:07 Healthy Conflict vs Abuse
01:00:41 Next Life Chapter and Closing

Kenzie Bradshaw Betancur

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How Trauma Rewires the Brain and Practical Ways to Heal the Body

On the Irene Podcast, Dr. Steve with Kaizen Health (family medicine and obesity medicine) explains that abuse and trauma create biological brain changes, especially a hyperactive amygdala and downregulated prefrontal cortex and hippocampus, which can make past trauma feel present and drive PTSD-like physical responses. He discusses chronic stress and cortisol effects such as insomnia, pain, inflammation, anxiety, depression, attention issues, and coping behaviors including substance use and overeating, noting links between adverse childhood events (ACEs) and obesity while acknowledging genetics can be influenced by lifestyle. Dr Steve emphasizes neuroplasticity and improving vagal tone through exercise (about 150 minutes/week), deep breathing, humming, vibration, and cold water exposure, and describes heart rate variability. He advises patients they don’t need to disclose trauma details to seek help, encourages finding the right provider, and highlights foundational health pillars, gut-brain connection, therapy modalities, mindset, and self-compassion to release guilt and support healing.

00:00 Welcome and Guest Intro
01:11 Why Trauma Runs Deep
01:39 Brain Changes From Trauma
04:23 PTSD and Body Reactions
05:28 Neuroplasticity and Healing
07:20 Chronic Stress Symptoms
08:14 Coping Behaviors and Food
09:21 ACEs and Obesity Genetics
11:47 Vagus Nerve Basics
13:21 Heart Rate Variability
15:07 Breathwork and Humming
18:10 Cold Plunge Recovery
21:06 Longevity Docuseries
21:27 Cold Plunge Benefits
21:44 Trauma Care Advocacy
24:15 Finding the Right Doctor
25:10 Lifestyle Medicine Basics
26:24 Gut Brain Connection
27:52 Somatic Therapy Modalities
29:26 Mindset and Placebo
30:29 Exercise for Mental Health
36:37 Self Compassion Healing
38:06 Growth Through Resistance
41:26 Final Takeaways Thanks

DR STEVE:

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From Teen Mom to Kindness in Motion: Tineise on Breaking Cycles, Finding Purpose, and Building Community

In part two of the Irene Podcast, Tineise shares how getting pregnant at 17 prompted an overnight shift toward motherhood and a desire to break generational patterns, though early parenting and relationships were messy, including leaving her daughter’s dad after police involvement and later divorcing in 2018. She describes returning to college at Utah Tech for criminal justice while raising two kids, running a business, and exploring psychology, ultimately rejecting “boxed-in” career limits to create Kindness in Motion, launched about two months ago and growing rapidly in the last six weeks. Tineise discusses overcoming fear and imposter syndrome by accepting she’s “messy” and “weird,” inspired partly by her son’s perspective, and emphasizes collaboration, community, and focusing on “what can we do.” She advises trauma survivors to find a trusted person to talk to, and wraps it up with Irene, a trauma-informed AI on their website for support.

00:00 Teen Pregnancy Turning Point
01:06 Breaking Generational Patterns
02:49 Messy Early Motherhood
04:44 Finding Her Voice
06:40 Letting Go of Fear
11:13 Divorce and Back to School
13:07 No Box Kindness Mission
14:52 Kindness in Motion Launch
18:14 Collaboration and Community
21:09 Embracing Weirdness
25:39 Finding Your People
25:57 A Walk That Changed Everything
26:53 Collaboration Over Money
27:48 Bring Back Community
29:18 Trauma Into Growth
29:59 Rewriting Your Identity
30:40 It Is Okay To Start Over
33:04 Try Everything First
34:53 Turn Off The News
37:23 Introverts And Extroverts
39:40 Advice For Healing
40:17 Find Your Person
42:41 When You Cannot Talk
44:32 Breaking The Silence
47:37 Building Community Again
50:33 AI For Good Irene
52:12 Where To Find Kindness In Motion
52:42 Final Thanks And Blessing

Kindness In Motion:

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Nikki Jones on Childhood Abuse, Healing, and Finding Worth Through Faith

On the Irene Podcast, Nikki Jones shares her story of early childhood trauma after her parents’ divorce, including severe abuse by her stepmother while living with her father from about ages 4–9, time overseas in Okinawa, and never seeing her father again after leaving at age nine to live with her mother. She describes lasting effects such as fear of vomiting, insecurity about being lovable, social anxiety, emotional suppression, and coping with stress through binge eating, with later triggers including a mistaken-identity arrest at an airport and her son’s serious health crisis. Nikki discusses becoming a mother at 15, working to break generational patterns, recognizing trauma responses over time, and emphasizing faith, forgiveness, and believing she is “worth dying for” as key to healing, alongside gratitude for her stable marriage, children, and grandchildren.

00:00 Welcome and Setup

00:31 Early Family Split

02:29 Abuse Overseas

07:21 Last Goodbye to Dad

10:00 Life With Mom

10:40 Parenting After Trauma

13:50 Hidden Insecurity

18:34 Stepmom Phone Confession

22:34 Vomiting Trigger

23:53 Healing Unfolds Slowly

25:44 Coping Through Food

26:42 Mistaken Identity Arrest

29:16 Freeze Mode After Trauma

30:47 Triggered Old Punishments

31:59 Son’s Health Scare

33:24 Praying and Feeling Emotions

37:53 Faith and Forgiveness

40:31 Church Anxiety Realization

43:48 Breaking Generational Cycles

45:32 Closing Reflections

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Embracing Your Voice: Communicating Without Justification

In this episode of the Irene Podcast, co-founder Hope discusses the importance of not feeling the need to explain oneself in order to be worthy of respect. She emphasizes that the value and truth of one's words remain intact even when others might not understand or respect them. The podcast addresses challenges faced in abusive relationships and how Irene gpt.ai can assist in improving communication. Hope shares insights on maintaining peaceful and respectful communication and encourages listeners to practice responding without excessive explanation. Through personal anecdotes and practical advice, this episode aims to empower individuals to communicate more effectively and reclaim their sense of worth.

00:00 Welcome to the Irene Podcast
00:14 Understanding the Purpose of Irene GPT
00:52 The Importance of Not Explaining Yourself
01:14 Dealing with Abusive Communication
04:04 Healthy Communication Strategies
05:04 Using Irene for Better Communication
06:06 Weekly Challenge: Respond Without Explaining
06:37 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

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This Is Tineise’s Story

In this episode of the Irene Podcast, host Hope interviews Tineise Davenport, with the nonprofit Kindness in Motion. Tineise explains she grew up in a polygamous cult environment connected to multiple fundamentalist groups (including Centennial Park, FLDS/Colorado City, and the AUB), describing secrecy, fear of government, and strict gender expectations that discouraged girls from asking questions. She recounts that in July 1993, when she was five, her mother was life-flighted to a Salt Lake City hospital after an incident Tineise was later told involved falling from a truck, a story she came to believe did not make sense. Tineise describes how her father remarried in September 1993 to Lenora (his secretary), who moved in with five children while still married to someone else, and how Tineise’s mother later returned home awake but paralyzed and unable to speak. Tineise details severe abuse in the household, including witnessing her brother being beaten unconscious, and her mother had to watch the abuse while immobilized; her mother died when Tineise was seven. As a neglected and angry child, Tineise began sneaking out and spending time with boys from Colorado City who later became known as the “Lost Boys,” running away multiple times; at 13 she reached Hurricane, was arrested for breaking into a friend’s family’s house, and was sentenced to two weeks in juvenile detention. A guardian ad litem, Angela Adams, investigated abuse concerns and helped place Tineise in her maternal grandmother’s custody at a remote polygamist-affiliated ranch in the Utah desert, where Tineise learned independence skills but later returned to her father and ran away again. Between roughly 15–18, she describes heavy drinking, smoking, living with or around Lost Boys in St. George, and feeling abandoned, while noting an uncle helped her by providing a car even though she was unlicensed. Then Tineise became pregnant and says her daughter “saved” her by prompting her to stop drinking and smoking and focus on being a mother; she later left the child’s father around the time her daughter was one due to an unhealthy relationship. Tineise also shares she learned years later that her mother had planned to tell Tineise’s father she wanted a divorce shortly before the trip in 1993. Tineise will be back to continue her story and connect it to her nonprofit. Tineise briefly describes Kindness in Motion as focused on community connection linking people in need with those who can help and “bringing back the village” motivated by her belief that spreading love and kindness helps people heal.

00:47 Growing Up in a Polygamous Cult: The Groups, Secrecy, and Control
04:13 1993: Mom’s “Accident,” Hospital Visit, and a Sudden New Wife
07:43 Mom Returns Home Paralyzed: Living Through Abuse and Silence
14:19 Angry Childhood & Neglect: Sneaking Out, Being Raised by Siblings
20:03 Lost Boys & Desert Nights: Disappearing to Survive
25:50 Arrested at 13: Breaking & Entering, Court, and Juvenile Detention
28:21 New Custody, New Isolation: Life at Sanctuary Ranch
32:43 Found Family: Living with the Lost Boys (and an Uncle Who Helped)
38:01 Two Weeks Before 18: Pregnancy That Turned Her Life Around
40:07 Motherhood, Leaving a Bad Relationship, and Becoming Like Her Mom
43:19 Wrap-Up: Kindness in Motion + Next Episode part 2

Kindness In Motion:

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