Sure, you’ve heard of hitchhikers, but have you heard of hitchhiker ghosts?! Oh, you have? Well, aren’t you something. Anyway, join us for a little jaunt up to Chicagoland for the story of Resurrection Mary, one of the most famous American hitchhiker ghosts on record. Come for the ghost, stay for the pre-polio lovin’, dumb suburb names, and, for some reason, butt injections. We’ll also finally answer the question, “Wait, you think crocodiles lurk?”

Deep in the suburban land of Lululemon and labradoodles lies the lonesome and loathesome Zombie Road. Are there zombies there? No. Is it a road? Not really. Are there ghosts? Oh, my, yes. Join us, won’t you? As we go for a stroll down eastern Missouri’s most haunted road.

Not all ghosts can be not related to early 20th century insane asylums. So here’s one that is! California’s Turnbull Canyon has quite a few ghost stories to tell, and it’s high time we told one. This story is a short lil guy, so we’re calling it a ghostie, which is a super-cute word, but don’t worry, there are still plenty of jokes and chicanery.

Come for the ghosts, stay for the time we got trapped in Laurel Canyon, a lovely trip down Return to Oz lane, and Patrick’s disdain for teenage Angelenos.

Bump on down to Birmingham-town, as the kids say, and learn all about the horrible haunting of Sloss Furances, where the ghosts are exhausted and the murderer is capitalism. Subjects include: Patrick’s weird voice, that melting scene in Terminator 2, and the three names people are allowed to have. Come for the jokes, stay for the sound of Clayton’s noisy basement ghost at the 04:12 mark.

Sure, it’s a headless skeleton hell-bent on dropping loose change, but is it a ghost? For the very first episode of this groundbreaking new podcast, Clayton Smith and Patrick Dean explore the true, mysterious story of the ghost of Mississippi’s Deer Island.

Come for the ghost, stay for the pirate internships and the finer points of pig biology.