It Is Complicated

Age is complicated - how age works - and doesn’t work - when you’re outside of the “normal” pathways for your age.

Why is it so hard to guess someone’s age when they are queer? Does this work for or against us? What is it like restarting a career? Or getting back into education as an adult student?

How the structures of society are set up to assume a certain path and pace - and how that chrononormativity breaks down

Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicated

Give us feedback - we’re on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd

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Self Care is complicated - we talk about the complications of “self care” - vital in the pandemic times - and how that plays out in our culture.

Social inequalities, and how to “Farm a Fuck” - and is having the time to “self care” is a white middle-class privilege? What is the best definition of self care?

This is almost a "Group therapy" session - where we self care while we talk about self care

The Gallery Brochure for Dr J’s Gallery QJ Flat Art Gallery

Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicated

Give us feedback - we’re on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd

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Due to the nature of the discourse on trans lives at the moment we recorded a special episode. Normally we record more than a month in advance of publishing.

With the way the conversation is going we decided to do a special episode because we hadn’t heard a non-binary voice included in reacting to the current situation. 

This is a totally raw episode - content warning - much swearing and emotions including anger and fear and sadness and pain - mentions of suicidal ideations.

We feel powerless and sometimes not included in the conversation and under attack from the tidal wave of transphobia on the internet - there are impacts on our lives from this - and yet we know that 70% of the people are supportive of trans and non-binary lives

Being constantly forced out of spaces where you have family and connections hurts - always being told you don’t matter when you try to go into those spaces to connect.

People we stan:

Hbomberguy - https://www.youtube.com/user/hbomberguy

Lindsay Ellis - https://www.youtube.com/user/chezapoctube

“That red haired lesbian into vintage stuff” and “The fabulous Jessica” - Jessica Kellgren-Fozard - https://www.youtube.com/user/MissJessicaKH

Workplaces that celebrate their Non-Binary staff - ThoughtWorks - https://www.thoughtworks.com/

Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicated

Give us feedback - we’re on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd

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Humour  is complicated - we talk about what is good humour - and what it feels like to be the subject of the joke - and why sometimes we “can’t take a joke”.

Why we always are worried there’ll be “that episode” in our favorite sitcom - and how we both perform humour and when we use it. When they go low, we go weird. 

People and sketches we refer to:

Noah Caldwell-Gervais on YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5CYeHPLer3lbEhgonvbbAA

Trevor Noah at the Apollo - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vi7SeBI7z9A

Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicated

Give us feedback - we’re on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd

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Crowdfunding is complicated - we talk about how ensuring what we do is sustainable. How can we raise money - what are the ethics behind this?

We discuss why we built our patreon page and goals the way we did. We struggled to promote this and we get exasperated we don’t have cis-het bro programmer confidence when we talk about ourselves.

To hear more about the Queerest of the Queer Festival - https://anchor.fm/k-anderson/episodes/Her-Upstairs--Camden--London-with-Dr-J-eatucn

The books we talk about:

Mable Maney Books - https://www.thriftbooks.com/a/mabel-maney/412596/

Small Favours - http://www.colleencoover.net/?page_id=101

Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicated

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In which we discuss should we centre allies? How can we be good allies to others? How can I use my privilege to the best effect? Is allyship the only model? How can we be better support to others?

We discuss why allyship can be conditional and what impacts privileges have on this? And what new model can we move to - should we be accomplices and implicate ourselves?

How can we dismantle the structures that oppress us all? How do we get people to give up the benefits and privileges they have?

What is a more powerful model?

Places to donate to:

Black Girls Brunch - https://www.instagram.com/blackgirlsbrunchuk/

UK Black Pride - https://www.ukblackpride.org.uk/ukbp-donate

Black Minds Matter - https://www.gofundme.com/f/black-minds-matter-uk

Exist Loudly - https://www.gofundme.com/f/exist-loudly-fund-to-support-queer-black-yp

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We discuss why we find Queer Theory so difficult to wrap our heads around, why is it dense, and how can we understand it.

How deep is the queer theory rabbit hole? Are we included in the conversation?

Is Queer Theory something for to use every day or only for special occasions.

Do you have to be an academic to be queer?

Hello Cruel World - by Kate Bornstein

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We discuss why we get dressed, sometimes in dresses, sometimes not, and how it changes how we are read and what complications occur - some intentional and some not.

Apparently nakedness is not an option.

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Playing with Ourselves is complicated

In which we discuss video games and why it is complicated to play them while seeing your life represented.

We also discuss whether or not Skyrim is the only video game in existence (tldr; it is!)

The video series we reference are:

Why The Sims Needs Disabilities ft @EnglishSimmer [CC] - by Jessica Kellgren-Fozard

My most used mods for disabilities in The Sims 4 - Collab with @Jessica Kellgren-Fozard by EnglishSimmer

Games we talk about

Celeste - on Steam - https://store.steampowered.com/app/504230/Celeste/

My Child Lebensborn - http://www.mychildlebensborn.com/

We shouldn't need to link to Skyrim it has been out since 2011 - The Elder Scrolls | Skyrim - Bethesda

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In which our we attempt to introduce the podcast, ourselves and the subject of pronouns and how complicated all those endeavours are.

Pronouns are situational

They can make your heart sing.

That Lost Spaces Episode where Dr J confuses K Anderson with situational pronouns and tells a very explicit story

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