No doubt about it, marriage can be difficult.  Anytime we are putting two people with differing ideas and opinions together for one common cause, we are bound to have conflict. 

Yes, we can and we should develop our communication skills, build our trust, and treat each other with respect. However, these essential relationship attributes could be meaningless if we have unhealthy individuals. If one has significant past trauma, drug or alcohol addiction, or mental illness, to name a few, the marriage will often be sacrificed.

Healthy marriages require healthy people. If it can be identified that one of the people in the relationship is being haunted by an illness or past event, then we must spend the time to heal that person.  We must work to attain the greatest level of health possible within the individual for the good of the marriage. 

This can be hard work. All of us have stuff to work on.  Things that keep us from being our best.  If those things are significant enough to negatively impact the marriage, then they certainly require our attention.

If you are working on your marriage but find yourself at a stand still. Take some time to think about how you are doing as an individual.  Are you bringing in your best version?  If not, get some help.  You owe it to yourself, your partner, and your marriage.

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