Iterations

What you’re hearing (if you’re listening, rather than reading this) are the sounds of me unboxing a new keyboard — specifically, an Apple A1048, commonly known as simply the Apple Keyboard. What makes this keyboard especially interesting to me is the period of time in my life that it reminds me of — that and the fact that this particular keyboard has been sitting unopened and unused in a box in central California since 2003. I found it on shopgoodwill.com, where it was listed in “new or gently used” condition. When it arrived, I was pleasantly surprised to see that not only was it in the original box — which wasn’t mentioned in the description — but it was also in the original unopened plastic packaging. The last “new” thing I bought on Goodwill was a Starbucks Barista espresso machine to replace my Saeco Via Venezia that finally gave up the ghost after more than 19 years of daily service and literally thousands of shots of espresso. And just like the keyboard, the Barista was unopened and unused, still in the original box, neither of which were mentioned in the description.

QUESTIONS
What are some of your favorite or most meaningful objects?
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Last week, I released a video review of a new book from Prestel about Gregory Crewdson. It was significant for me, not just because Gregory is one of my photographic heroes — although yes, that is part of it — but because it was the first project I’ve done in quite a while that was really just for me. I’ve been on a bit of a “creative hiatus” for the better part of a year and I’ve only done a few videos before this. So more than anything, I wanted to see if I could pull it off and have it be interesting and feel like me, rather than just another YouTube photo book flip-through. And before I get too far into this, I want to thank Andy Adams at FlakPhoto, without whom it may not have even happened. Andy is a good guy and if you’re at all interested in photography, he’s well worth a follow.

A few months ago I started seeing a new therapist, and part of what we’ve been working on is something called Somatic Therapy, which I’ll include a couple links to in the notes if you’d like to learn more about it. Basically, somatic therapy focuses on the body and how emotions such as trauma and anxiety manifest as physical sensations. When I’m sharing a particular story or experience, my therapist will sometimes interrupt me and ask me to focus on how it feels to talk about or relive the experience — and not emotionally or existentially, but physically. It’s been fascinating to start noticing changes in my breath or heart rate or feel tension start to develop in my hands and shoulders when I’m sharing something disturbing or painful. On the other side, and this is where the video fits in, we’re working on identifying objects, memories, and pursuits and activities that give me joy or pleasure and naming or defining what those things feel like.

LINKS
Gregory Crewdson video review
What is Somatic Therapy?
Somatic Experiencing Therapy
The Difference Between Reacting and Responding
What is Internal Family Systems?

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This is the audio track from my video review, which I encourage you to watch on YouTube or read on Substack.

In a new book from Prestel, simply titled Gregory Crewdson, editor Walter Moser — the head of the department of photography at the ALBERTINA in Vienna — has curated a selection of images from all of Crewdson’s major bodies of work. Prestel was kind enough to send me a copy for review and I couldn’t be more thrilled to talk about it...

LINKS
Gregory Crewdson - ALBERTINA modern
Making Eveningside
There But Not There - Gregory Crewdson Documentary
Crewdson Trail Log
Beneath the Roses - Crewdson Trail Log
Dream House Archive - New York Times Magazine
Gregory Crewdson on Process Driven
David Fincher - Invisible Details

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Last week, I gave myself permission to do something that was a: pretty far outside of my comfort zone and b: completely unnecessary. If you read or listened to my last Iteration, you know I’ve been wanting an Elektron Digitakt for years, but would never allow myself to get one. Well, they say that fortune favors the bold, so I finally took the plunge and bought one. I had been lurking in the classified listings on Reverb for months, favoriting “mint” condition Digitakts, only to watch them sell to everyone but me. A couple weeks ago, a new listing popped up that caught my eye because the device appeared to be brand new. I reached out to the retailer — a music store in Tulsa — and asked about it. The owner got back to me the next day and said that it had never been taken out of the box, so I clicked the “Buy Now” button and eagerly awaited its arrival.

WATCH THE VIDEO

LINKS
Elektron
Reverb

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Sunday was my birthday and as I begin my 58th trip around the sun, I’ve been reflecting on some of the things I’ve learned over the past half-century or so. I’m not talking about skills per se, though I have racked up a fairly impressive list. I think one of the things that has both helped the most while also being the most frustrating is the realization that in the vast majority of cases, control is an illusion. And when I say control, that could mean a job, our health, the art we make, almost anything — and a few things have happened recently that have really solidified that for me.

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I’ve been thinking about something for a while and I’m not sure whether or not it’ll land, but I’d like to try stringing together a few ideas. I think it’s time for us to embrace being self-centered, but not in the way that you might think. Typically, when we refer to someone as “self-centered” it’s not a compliment. It often refers to someone who is egotistical and only thinks about themselves or whose only concerns are their own wants, needs, or even interests. But I think there are ways we can reframe the idea of being self-centered as a positive instead of a negative.

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Whether you call it a slump, a funk, a downturn, a slowdown, a struggle, a breakdown, a nosedive, a stall, a meltdown, a plunge, or just stagnation, I’ve been in one for a while. While I have multiple journals that are dappled with notes, sketches, and the beginnings of ideas, I haven’t actually recorded a new show or finished a new painting in months. Even this newsletter has taken a hit on consistency after more than 130 weekly entries. I know the situation will come back online — or at least I believe that it will — but at the moment, my normally overflowing trough of creativity is experiencing a bit of a drought. And here’s the thing — I know that I’m not alone in feeling this way. I’ve talked with a number of people who are experiencing if not the same thing, something very similar — and it’s not just people who identify as “creatives.” There seems to be a common feeling that we’re on existentially shaky ground or in unfamiliar territory and we feel like even the few things we thought we had some control or agency over are slipping. I know that’s true for me and for several of my friends. Maybe it’s also true for you.

QUESTIONS
Have you ever come back to a creative pursuit that you previously stepped away from? How did it go?

Hit reply, leave a comment, or email me at [email protected].

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Website: https://jefferysaddoris.com 
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Email: [email protected]

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For the past few weeks, maybe even the past month or so, I’ve been on sort of an Ethan Hawke deep dive. I like Ethan Hawke as an actor and while I haven’t seen everything he’s ever done, I really like Training Day and I would probably put Dead Poets Society and Gattaca in my top 20 — actually, maybe top 30. I know some people find him pretentious, but whenever I’ve seen him interviewed, he always seemed like a good guy. A few years ago, he did a TED Talk called Give Yourself Permission to be Creative that popped up in my feed recently, and watching it again reminded me how much I resonate with a lot of the same ideas he has about creativity. For example, one of the first things he says in the talk is “…a lot of people really struggle to give themselves permission to be creative, and reasonably so, we’re all a little suspect of our own talent.” I think we’ve all felt the same way at one point or another in our lives. I know I have. Whether it’s Imposter Syndrome or the nagging voice of Resistance, occasionally doubting our own talents and gifts seems to be par for the course when trying to live a creative life — and that’s before we even get to purpose, which is a completely different animal.

If you enjoyed this Iteration, I would love it if you would share it with a friend or two. And if it resonated with you on some level, I’d love to know why. Email me at [email protected].

LINKS
Give Yourself Permission to be Creative | Ethan Hawke | TED
Maya and Ethan Hawke’s Closet Picks
In the Screening Room with Ethan Hawke and Maya Hawke
What No One Told Ethan Hawke About Being Famous
How Ethan Hawke Ended Up In Taylor Swift's New Music Video

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The other day I was on the phone with my friend Neale James and we were talking about a recent episode of his podcast The Photowalk, on which he was talking to our mutual friend Sean Tucker about creativity. “I invite you,” Neale begins the episode, “to imagine a five-pointed star. Now on each point of the star, I’d like you to think of a word that’s important to you in terms of creativity or your creativity. Each is a kind of cornerstone of the why and even how you create as of today.” As an aside, if you’re not listening to Neale’s show, you really should give it a try. Neale is a terrific host and his episodes are masterclasses in audio production and atmosphere. Anyway, as we were talking about his episode with Sean, he asked what the points on my creative star might be. On one hand, “why do you create?” is a deceptively simple question that many of us spend inordinate amounts of time wrestling with — at least I do. I think that Neale’s clever addition “as of today” gives us a little wiggle room and leaves the possibility open that these five terms don’t have to define our making for all eternity, but rather just for now. It’s one of the reasons that I love this as an exercise. While the creative process itself is important, I think that checking in with ourselves around why we create is equally valuable — maybe even more so because it allows us to square what we’re making against why we’re making it.

QUESTIONS
What are some of the points on your creative star?

If you enjoyed this Iteration, I would love it if you would share it with a friend or two. And if it resonated with you on some level, I’d love to know why. Email me at [email protected].

LINKS
My archive of paintings
Dorothy Simpson Krause
inkAID
Father Bill Moore
Shepard Fairey

CONNECT WITH ME
Website: https://jefferysaddoris.com 
Instagram: @jefferysaddoris
Email: [email protected]

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MUSIC
Music For Workplaces by Jeffery Saddoris

If you’ve been subscribed for a while, you probably know I’m a big Nine Inch Nails fan and have been since 1990 when I saw them open up for Peter Murphy. The other day, I was watching a terrific video with Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross breaking down some of their most iconic tracks. One of the more fascinating aspects of the video was how much Trent talks about process and how important the “feel” of the music was and still is. “When we write music,” Trent says, “it’s coming from a place where its main intent is to have you feel a certain way. It’s not coming from a love of melody and a joy of intricate chord progressions or technical wizardry.”

I love this because he’s not just chasing easy likes or trying to impress the audience. Instead he’s focusing on how the work serves the overall project and on the relationship between the work and the audience. It’s not a “look at me” type of thing, like a gratuitous guitar solo or a vocalist who takes every opportunity to sing an unnecessary run. That’s not the point, which I think speaks to a level of creative maturity that’s important to cultivate as any kind of artist.

If you enjoyed this Iteration, I would love it if you would share it with a friend or two. And if it resonated with you on some level, I’d love to know why. Email me at [email protected].

CONNECT WITH ME
Website: https://jefferysaddoris.com 
Instagram: @jefferysaddoris
Email: [email protected]

SUBSCRIBE
Subscribe to Almost Everything with Jeffery Saddoris in your favorite podcast app. You can also subscribe to my newsletter on Substack.

MUSIC
Music For Workplaces by Jeffery Saddoris