It's an Inside Job

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"When we operate from a 'fight' mentality, we are keeping our nervous system in a state of high alert. True healing begins when we move from combat to curiosity." - Kristin Grayce McGary

Discover how to break free from unconscious childhood patterns and transition from a "fight" mentality to a healing mindset with holistic health expert Kristin Grayce McGary. Learn how integrating emotional awareness with functional medicine can build lasting resilience and transform your physical well-being.

Are the survival strategies you developed as a child actually sabotaging your health and happiness today?

Key Takeaway Insights and Tools

• The "Whole Person" Diagnostic Approach: Health is not merely the absence of symptoms but the alignment of biochemistry and emotional history. By observing body language and micro-expressions, we can uncover hidden blocks that lab tests might miss. [00:12:30]
• Deconstructing Childhood Survival Patterns: Many adult habits in relationships and work are actually outdated "safety" mechanisms formed in childhood. Bringing these into conscious awareness allows you to choose which patterns to keep and which to discard. [00:22:15]
• The Biology of "Fighting" vs. Nurturing: Using combative language (like "fighting" a disease) can create a biologically detrimental stress response. Shifting the focus toward moving toward health rather than resisting illnesscreates an internal environment more conducive to recovery. [00:35:45]
• Tool: The "Pause and Assess" Strategy: A practical method for building resilience by stopping to evaluate whether your current motivations are driven by past trauma or present-day values. [00:48:20]

Bio

Kristin Grayce McGary (LAc., MAc., CFMP®, CST-T, CLP) is an internationally recognised health and lifestyle author, and speaker. She weaves together 29 years of experience, education, wisdom, and compassion to empower you to reconnect, reawaken, and rejuvenate on all levels

She is an authority on autoimmunity, functional blood chemistry analysis, thyroid and gut health, family healthcare, food as medicine, biohacking techniques, integrating mind/body/spirit in health & soulcare, Authentic Relating practices, and is initiated into several lineages of shamanic practices.

She is the author of Holistic Keto for Gut Health: A Program for Resetting your Metabolism and Know Your Blood, Know Your Health; Prevent Disease and Enjoy Vibrant Health Through Functional Blood Chemistry Analysis. Her upcoming book is on Blocks to Healing and how to resolve them quickly.

Website:  https://kristingraycemcgary.com/

Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/kristingraycemcgary
Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/inspiredpositivehealth
Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/kristingraycemcgary/

Subscribe to the podcast on your favorite platform to ensure you never miss an episode focused on deep personal transformation and holistic resilience.

Content Warning

This episode contains discussions regarding chronic illness, cancer, and childhood trauma/dysfunction which may be sensitive for some listeners.

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“The nervous system runs the show, even when you think you’re in control.” - Louise Rellis

In this episode, I speak with Louise Rellis, founder of the ANAM Rural Youth Association, about providing vital mental health support to marginalized youth in Alberta. We discuss the effects of trauma on behavior and practical strategies for emotional regulation, including informal conversation techniques that create a safe space for youth to express themselves.

Louise emphasizes the importance of community and the role of compassionate adults in fostering resilience. We explore accessible explanations of polyvagal theory and share stories of hope and transformation through trauma-informed care. This conversation highlights the need for understanding and support to empower young people to overcome challenges and thrive.

BIO

Louise Rellis is the Founder and Executive Director of Anam Rural Youth Association, a mobile, trauma-integrated support service for marginalized, at-risk and systen-disconnected youth and young adults across Central Alberta. Through Anam, she meets young people where they are-literally and emotionally-removing access barriers and providing one-on-one trauma-integrated care. Anam’s work is grounded in the belief that every young person deserves to recognize their worth and potential, especially those who have been disconnected from traditional systems.

Louise is also the founder of Mt. Leinster Consulting, where she provides a non-clinical mental health support for adults who haven’t found success in conventional settings. Her consulting work includes community and workplace traumatology, trauma-integrated workshops, and organizational support rooted in Polyvagal Theory and lived experience.

Known for her direct, practical, and deeply human approach, Louise challenges the diluted, buzzword version of “trauma-informed” care and instead champions trauma-integrated practice-an approach that assumes trauma is present and shapes every element of how support is delivered.

Her work has been recognised for advancing equitable access to mental health support and amplifying the voices of youth often invisible in traditional research and service design.

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/louise-rellis-017a77110/

Website:  https://mountleinsterconsulting.ca/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/anamruralyouth/

Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/anamruralyouth/  

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"Thinking feels heavier, not because the task is complex, but because the space required to think has become crowded."

Struggling to finish simple tasks? Learn about the "Clarity Tax"—the hidden cognitive cost of overthinking and decision fatigue—and discover a three-step micro-reset to reclaim your mental focus and emotional steadiness.

Why do straightforward tasks like writing a short email sometimes feel impossibly heavy, even when you aren't "busy"?

Key Takeaway Insights and Tools

• The "Clarity Tax" Defined: Mental fatigue is cumulative; it is the "tax" paid for constant task-switching, micro-decisions, and sensory input that fragments attention and overloads working memory. [00:01:59]
• The Loop of Overthinking: Overthinking isn't just rumination; it manifests as "cognitive loops"—rewriting sentences or second-guessing finished decisions—which physically crowd the mental workspace required for problem-solving. [00:03:05]
• The Warning Signs of Cognitive Load: When the "tax" becomes too high, accuracy slips, emotional reactivity increases (irritation over small things), and strategic thinking narrows to the "easiest" familiar solution. [00:06:00]
• The 40-Second Micro-Rest Tool: A physiological "downshifting" of the nervous system—such as a slow exhale or closing your eyes—that restores cognitive clarity in under a minute. [00:08:59]

The 3-Step Mental Reset Protocol

When the "internal fog" settles in, use this sequence to clear your mental browser:

1. Identify ONE Next Step: Stop trying to solve the whole project; find the single immediate action to give the brain one target instead of many.
2. Externalize the Clutter: Write down everything else pulling at your attention. Once thoughts live on paper, they stop occupying "RAM" in your working memory.
3. The Physiological Pause: Take a micro-rest (stretch, walk, or deep breath) to reset your nervous system's gear.

Call to Action

Share this episode with a colleague or friend who is feeling the weight of "decision fatigue" to help them reclaim their clarity.

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Are you leading with clarity and structure—or are you unintentionally relying too much on inspiration or too much on systems?

Discover how balancing meaning and mechanism—the “poet and the plumber”—can improve your leadership, strengthen your routines, and increase follow-through. This episode breaks down practical tools, including the pre-mortem, to help you align purpose with process at work and in your personal projects.

Key Takeaway Insights & Tools 

Leadership requires balancing meaning (poet) and mechanism (plumber).

When one dominates, progress stalls—ideas lack structure or systems lack purpose. (00:00:59–00:02:08)

The poet creates clarity of purpose so people understand why their work matters.

This role provides coherence and direction, shaping judgment and prioritization. (00:03:06–00:04:31)

The plumber ensures systems, routines, and expectations actually support the stated purpose.

When plumbing contradicts narrative, engagement drops and friction increases. (00:04:31–00:06:25)

Imbalance leads to predictable failure: meaning without structure remains theoretical; structure without meaning becomes hollow.

Two common leadership traps are inspirational intent with no systems—or rigid systems with no unifying purpose. (00:06:25–00:08:19)

The pre-mortem is a practical tool that integrates meaning and mechanism.

By imagining success and failure before execution, teams reveal risks, responsibilities, and alignment issues early. (00:09:03–00:10:34)
Tools discussed:

• Pre-mortem exercise
• Success/Failure split-team analysis
• Diagnostic questions: “Why?” for poetry, “How?” for plumbing (00:14:31–00:15:53)

Personal leadership also depends on poet–plumber balance.

Define why something matters before building habits, routines, or time blocks around it. (00:12:29–00:13:46)

Books Mentioned:

• On Leadership — James G. March
• The Friction Project: How Smart Leaders Make the Right Things Easier and the Wrong Things Harder — Robert Sutton & Huggy Rao

If you found this episode valuable, share it with someone who would benefit from strengthening their leadership or personal discipline.

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“Protecting your time isn’t selfish — it’s self-respect in action.”

Do you ever say yes when every part of you wants to say no — and walk away wondering why you agreed in the first place?

Learn how to say no without guilt or apology. In this solo episode, Jason Lim explores the psychology of boundaries, how over-agreeing drains our energy, and how clear, values-based decisions protect focus, time, and peace of mind.

Key Takeaway Insights & Tools

• Every “No” Protects a “Yes” (03:19)
  Clarity about what truly matters is the foundation of boundaries. Every time you say no to what’s meaningless, you’re actually saying yes to what’s essential — your family, focus, or health.
  Tool: Write down your top three priorities for the week and use them as a filter for new requests.
• Do a Time Audit (05:03)
  We underestimate how much time “just one call” or “just a few minutes” consumes. Learn to ask not “Can I fit this in?” but “What will I have to give up to make room for it?”
  Tool: Track your week to see where attention leaks occur and replace “I’m sorry” with “I don’t have the bandwidth to give this the attention it deserves.”
• Assertive Communication (06:52)
  Boundaries falter not from lack of words, but lack of permission. Say what you mean, stop over-explaining, and let silence reinforce your certainty.
  Practice: Record yourself saying, “Thanks for thinking of me, but I can’t take that on right now.” Play it back until it sounds calm and grounded.
• Boundaries Build Trust (08:03)
  Boundaries aren’t walls — they’re agreements about respect. When you set limits early and consistently, you become more predictable, reliable, and respected.
  Example: “I’ve started keeping my mornings clear for deeper work, so I’m not available before nine.”
• Delegate to Empower, Not Escape (10:45)
  Saying no doesn’t mean shutting people out. It means redirecting requests to where they belong and letting others grow.
  Tool: For one request this week that doesn’t require you, delegate it. Notice that the world doesn’t fall apart — it expands.
• Saying “No” Is a Practice (11:26)
  The discomfort and guilt you feel when you start saying no isn’t a signal of wrongdoing — it’s a sign of change. Over time, this habit sharpens focus and gives your “yes” real weight.
  
  
• Reflection: When a new request arrives, pause and ask:
  1. Does this align with what matters?
  2. Do I have time and energy for it?
  3. What will it replace if I agree?

If this episode helped you reclaim a bit of peace or perspective, share it with someone who struggles to say no. Subscribe to It’s an Inside Job on your favorite podcast platform, and keep building resilience — one boundary at a time.

Host Bio

Jason Birkevold Liem is a resilience coach, leadership consultant, and host of It’s an Inside Job, a podcast exploring the science and psychology behind resilience, well-being, and self-leadership. Through practical strategies and candid storytelling, Jason helps leaders and professionals strengthen their mental and emotional fitness.

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“Resilient people don’t let past investment dictate future choices. They measure value by direction, not duration.”

What would you walk away from today if you weren’t busy trying to justify the time, money, and effort you’ve already spent?

In this solo episode of Seeing Sideways, I unpack the Sunk Cost fallacy and how it quietly sabotages decisions in your work, relationships, and goals. You’ll learn practical ways to let go of draining commitments so you can choose more clearly, protect your energy, and build resilient self-leadership in a noisy world.

Key Takeaway Insights and Tools (Bullet Points with Timestamps)

[00:01:07] Decision-making in a noisy world
I introduce Part Three of Seeing Sideways, exploring how cognitive biases distort our judgment in an information-heavy, opinion-saturated world and why awareness is the first step toward clearer decisions.

[00:03:38] What the sunk cost fallacy actually is
I explain how the sunk cost fallacy keeps us clinging to plans, projects, and relationships purely because we’ve already invested time, money, or effort—even when walking away would serve us better.

[00:04:58] Everyday examples: concerts, relationships, and leadership
Through real-life illustrations—from staying at a bad concert to remaining in draining relationships or funding failing projects—I show how this bias leads us to “throw good energy after bad” instead of cutting our losses.

[00:06:02] Why the sunk cost fallacy once helped us survive
I explore the evolutionary roots of this bias: in resource-scarce environments, sticking with hard-won investments made sense, but in modern life it often deepens financial, emotional, and mental losses instead of protecting us.

[00:08:24] The real cost: stagnation and missed growth
I break down how the sunk cost fallacy creates stagnation, locking us into regret and frustration, and how it stops us from reassessing, learning, and moving toward better opportunities.

Share this episode with one person who you know is struggling to walk away from a draining project, role, or relationship—they may need to hear that letting go can be a strategic move, not a failure.

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“What veterans need more than anything is a new mission. We’re built to serve others, to protect. Give us purpose again and incredible things happen.” - Lee James Hanna

In this episode, I sit down with Army veteran and Western Regional Veterans Program Manager, Lee James Hanna, to unpack the hidden struggles of transitioning from military to civilian life—addiction, PTSD, moral injury—and the practical tools of purpose, community, and self-compassion that support real recovery and resilience for veterans.

Bio

Lee James Hanna is the Western Regional Veterans Program Manager for New Dawn Treatment Centers, where he advocates for Veterans struggling with substance use disorders and the lingering impact of trauma. A 100% disabled U.S. Army Veteran and former Airborne Infantryman who served in OEF X–XII, Lee’s understanding of resilience is grounded in lived experience—both in combat and in the long road of recovery afterward.

Lee has navigated the lasting effects of PTSD and a traumatic brain injury caused by IED blasts, along with the difficult transition many Veterans face when returning to civilian life. For years, he felt unsupported by the very systems meant to help. Those challenges shaped his passion for ensuring Veterans are treated with urgency, dignity, and cultural understanding.

Today, Lee works closely with VA facilities across California and Nevada to break down barriers to care and make sure Veterans receive timely, appropriate treatment. He is known for his candid communication style, his deep grasp of military culture, and his commitment to helping Veterans rebuild stability and purpose.

Website: https://www.newdawntreatmentcenters.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lee-james-hanna-b031b3154/

Content Warning

This episode includes discussion of combat trauma, PTSD, traumatic brain injury, addiction, and a suicide attempt.

If this conversation made you think of a veteran—or anyone—who might be carrying more than they can say, share this episode with them or simply check in and ask how they’re really doing. And if you’d like more episodes on resilience, purpose, and the psychology of real change, follow or subscribe.

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"One honest detail added can shift the entire meaning and make your story more real and not just more comfortable."

Is the story you tell about your past actually the truth, or is it just the most comfortable version?

Understand the Narrative Fallacy, the cognitive bias that makes your brain rewrite the past into a neat, consistent story. Learn how to spot this mental shortcut to embrace life's complexity and build authentic resilience and clarity.

Key Takeaway Insights and Tools 

• The Narrative Fallacy is the brain's tendency to simplify complexity, fill in gaps, and distort details to make the past appear more coherent and meaningful than it was. (1:02)
• By oversimplifying the past, we lose sight of the random factors, coincidence, and unpredictability that shaped our lives, leading us to believe we are always in control. (2:45)
• Clinging to a rigid, tidy narrative reduces resilience because it makes us resistant to change and adaptation, and we stop questioning the path we've set. (4:39)
• The Contrarian Move is to consciously embrace life's complexity and unpredictability instead of forcing events into overly neat stories. (5:27)
• Genuine resilience arises not from crafting perfect stories, but from navigating uncertainty, contradiction, and randomness with adaptability and openness. (7:52)

If today's episode offered you a new perspective, please share it with someone who might benefit and subscribe to the podcast for more insights on cognitive biases!

Jason White Birkevold Liem is the host of It’s an Inside Job and author of Seeing Sideways. He helps leaders and coaches turn psychological insight into everyday practice—so they can think clearly, choose wisely, and lead with intent.

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“Combat mode can lead you through war; it cannot lead you through life.” — Clay Rojas

U.S. Marine veteran and counsellor Clay Rojas joins me to unpack the hard transition from combat to civilian life—covering post-traumatic stress (drop the “D”), dialling down “combat mode” at home, and how families and communities can become real rally points for veterans. Practical steps, plain language, and resources from The Forge Initiative and Clay’s book, Rally Point.

• “Combat mode” must be turned off on purpose. Hypervigilance saves lives in theater; it wrecks home life if left on. [12:26–16:15]
• Drop the “D” from PTSD. Framing it as post-traumatic stress removes the stigma of “disorder” and restores hope. [18:36–21:47]
• The first step to victory is surrender—to love. Admitting “I can’t recover alone” is strength, not defeat. [22:24–24:22]
• Rebuild belonging on purpose. Replace lost unit cohesion with peer groups and service—meaning needs a place to live. [27:45–29:09]
• Civilians can be rally points. Learn the terrain, handle with care, and line up veteran-specific help. [49:00–52:22]

Clay Rojas is a USMC veteran (2001–2005) with three combat deployments who has lived many lives—teenage dad, police officer, convict, pastor—and is now a counsellor and Regional Director at The Forge in Tulsa, OK. He specializes in post-traumatic stress management for military veterans and first responders, drawing on extensive research and frontline experience. During his service, he led an infantry squad with 1st Battalion, 7th Marines, and served as a squad leader with 2nd FAST Company. His awards include the Navy and Marine Corps Achievement Medal with Gold Star and Combat “V” distinguishing device.

LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/clay-rojas-8b2590a6/

The Forge:  https://theforge.org/veterans-support/

Content Warning

This episode discusses suicide and suicidal ideation. Listener discretion advised.

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