It's Five O'Clock Somewhere

Regular listeners will be already be aware that Gill is firmly convinced that the EVIL that is Pumpkin Spiced Latte is nothing more than a conspiracy by Big Cinnamon, so this week we thought we'd talk about a few more of our favourite conspiracies. Are birds real? Who shot JFK? Does Paul McCartney even exist? We have all the answers! Well, we have answers. They may not be the right answers. But we definitely have them!

This week, we're chatting about the little things that tip you over the edge- the things you feel you should be able to deal with as a competent adult, but actually make you want to cry, and shout you need a proper grown up for this! Inspired in part by Gill's car actually breaking down and Gill almost breaking down as a result, and Jo's encounter with a particularly vicious record player, flat pack furniture, lawn mowers, spiders and hoovers also feature among the things that cause all of you to break down!

This week, we are not, alas, discussing scurrilous scandal, but rather the alarming statistics about the large number of people who only wash their towels four times a year! We attempt a highly scientific poll on how often you, our listeners, and Gill and Jo clean things, with occasionally surprising results. Jo shares Chicken Flannel with the nation, and there is a cameo from the International Man of Mystery that is Gill's husband, aka, the Gadget Twat himself...

It's not actually an 'Autumn Edit', unless you count our autumnal cocktails and Jo's blackberry and apple pies, but we are attempting to talk all things autumn, now September is upon us and Jo has betrayed Gill with pumpkin spice lattes, even though regular listeners will know Gill thinks such things are nothing more than a conspiracy by Big Cinnamon. Gill ruins any chance of Starbucks sponsoring the podcast and reveals why her neighbours hate her 'bohemian ways', and Jo shares some very exciting brassiere related news!

This week we've been doing a spot of genealogy and so we're talking families, history and skeletons in the closet. Gill has discovered her ancestors are not who she thought they were at all, and reveals a fairly sordid tale of infidelity and illegitimacy, involving considerable judgement for her newly found great grandfather, and on Jo's side, it's her great grandmother who brings the scandal to the table. Gill also attempts to talk movingly about the unregulated adoption process in the 1920s, but Jo is more interested in musing on whether it would be possible for Monty Don to adopt her...

Hurrah and Huzzah! Another summer is survived, and the schools have returned! We attempt to have a grown up and adult conversation about this, but deviate onto potatoes, pink beds and pastie suppers.

Jo shares a tale of the mysterious Oxfam shop Sock Man, Gill explains why she loved her children's nursery teacher more than her children, and we do actually touch slightly on the topic as we turn to the horrors of things found lurking in lunchboxes that have been abandoned for the whole summer, and we share our opinions on such phrases as 'treasure every moment' and 'you only have eighteen precious summers with your children' (I think you can guess what they might be)!

This week it is all about the ROMANCE, because you may not have been aware, but August is National Romance Awareness Month, which is definitely a real thing and not something Gill found when she was randomly googling things looking for inspiration for a topic! So we thought, why not get a little romantic (not like that!) and have a chat about the most and least romantic things that have occurred in our lives. Jo's second hand crispy swimming costume is obviously hard to top, but Gill has tales of pigeons and we have brilliant anecdotes from you, our wonderful listeners too, including bowls of vomit and axes (not in the same story)!

This week we are talking about the dreaded topic of Acting Your Age, or rather our apparent inability to actually do that. Jo shares a truly terrible tale about her recent wheely bin experiences, and Gill, whilst almost too stunned and appalled by the wheely bin scenario to speak, reveals her inappropriate reaction after her recent encounter with a new doctor. We also discuss whether our lack of grown up behaviour is really not on account of our immense immaturity, but is in fact due to a lack of elegant, grown up clothes, and if only we had silk shirts, wide legged trousers and pencil skirts in the wardrobe, instead of Jo's Bin Crocs and Gill's dubious dog walking coat, our lives might be very different...

This week, we decided instead of choosing a topic to talk about, we'd simply freestyle like the irrepressible wild spirits we are, and definitely not because we couldn't think of think of a topic. After an...unusual start, where Jo imitates the noise she thinks dolphins make, and Gill discusses the etiquette of matching your table mats to your frock, we hit on the idea of discussing fail safe get rich quick schemes (don't worry, 'stylist' and 'animal impressionist' were not on the list). So if you too want to make your fortune using some handy hints and tips from two broke middle aged podcasters, LISTEN ON!!!!!!

This week we are HOME ALONE! Well, Jo is, Gill explains how her beloved husband thwarted her plans by deciding not to go away for work and instead to 'spend time' with her. Jo confesses to some dubious eating habits, and Gill explains what an 'empty' is, for the benefit of any non-Scottish listeners. We also dwell happily on the joys of solitary TV watching, Jo shares her tips for a trip to Swindon, and Gill reveals why her husband refuses to enter the WW2 bomb shelter in her garden (NOT a euphemism)!