How much of the life you’re building is based on what genuinely matters to you and how much is based on what you learned should matter?

In this episode of It’s Not What You Think, Julie explores how the values we grow up around can quietly shape the choices we make as adults, from career and relationships to money, achievement, independence and even our definition of success.

She looks at the difference between a genuine value and something that may have begun as a strategy for feeling safe, accepted or enough and why it’s possible to become very successful at building a life that doesn’t entirely feel like your own.

This isn’t about rejecting the life you’ve built or deciding that conventional goals are somehow wrong. It’s about becoming curious about where your “shoulds” came from and whether the things you’re working so hard for still matter to you.

Because sometimes the question isn’t, “What should I do next?”

It’s, “Is this actually mine?”

Learn more about Julie’s work at JulieCochrane.com and explore Noma at mynoma.health.

You can have people who love you, a full social life and plenty of people to talk to and still feel deeply lonely.

In this episode of It’s Not What You Think, Julie explores the kind of loneliness that often goes unrecognized: not the absence of people, but the absence of feeling truly known.

She looks at how we can learn to show the parts of ourselves that feel safest or most acceptable while keeping other parts hidden, sometimes without even realizing we’re doing it. Over time, we can become surrounded by people who genuinely care about us while still feeling that something important is missing.

Julie explores the difference between being needed and being known, why vulnerability doesn’t mean sharing everything with everyone and how connection can begin with something as simple as telling the truth just ten percent more.

Because sometimes the way out of loneliness isn’t finding more people. It’s allowing the right people to know more of who you really are.

Learn more about Julie’s work at JulieCochrane.com and explore Noma at mynoma.health.

How easy is it for you to know what you actually want?

Not what makes sense. Not what everyone else needs. Not what you think you should want. What do you want?

In this episode of It’s Not What You Think, Julie explores what happens when we gradually lose the thread back to ourselves. We can become incredibly good at reading other people, meeting expectations and functioning in the world while becoming less connected to our own feelings, preferences and needs.

Julie looks at how this disconnection can begin, why it’s often rewarded as independence, capability or selflessness and how it can affect our relationships, decisions and ability to trust ourselves.

You’ll also explore some simple ways to begin reconnecting, not by reinventing yourself, but by noticing the small signals that may have been there all along.

In this episode:

Why knowing what you want can become surprisingly difficult

How early experiences can teach us to look outside ourselves for answers

The difference between understanding yourself and actually being connected to yourself

How your body can communicate what your conscious mind overrides

Why reconnecting with yourself can initially feel uncomfortable

How to begin hearing your own preferences, needs and internal signals again

Learn more about Julie’s work at JulieCochrane.com and explore Noma, emotional wellbeing support that helps you understand the patterns underneath your thoughts, feelings and reactions, reconnect with yourself and begin responding differently over time, at mynoma.health.

You can have people who love you, a full life and plenty to keep you busy and still feel strangely disconnected from yourself.

In this episode of It’s Not What You Think, Julie explores how disconnection can sit underneath anxiety, overwhelm, people-pleasing, perfectionism and the feeling that you’re always taking care of everyone else while losing track of what you need.

We look at how some of these patterns can begin as ways of maintaining connection with others, why they can follow us long into adulthood and how modern life can make it even easier to keep our attention everywhere except ourselves.

Most importantly, we explore what reconnection can actually look like. Not another self-improvement project, but learning to notice yourself again.

In this episode:

Why disconnection doesn’t always look like loneliness

How we can learn to disconnect from ourselves to stay connected to others

Why highly capable people can still feel disconnected

How old patterns and modern life can reinforce each other

Simple ways to begin noticing your own needs, feelings and responses again

Learn more about Julie’s work at JulieCochrane.com and explore Noma, emotional wellbeing support for both the moments you’re in and the patterns underneath them, at mynoma.health.

You can understand exactly why you do something and still find yourself doing it again. In this episode, Julie explores why logic alone doesn’t always change our automatic reactions, where these patterns can begin and what you can do differently when they show up. Learn more about Julie’s work at JulieCochrane.com. For support in the moments your mind takes over, visit MyNoma.health.