Fear can be paralyzing. Fear can be destabilizing. And fear can make you feel like you’re falling apart. But sometimes, falling apart can actually be you slowly falling into the spaces you’re truly meant to be in. And those spaces can be full of courage, bravery, and strength. Just because your world feels like it’s over – doesn’t mean it is. Maybe it’s just that one chapter is over. There's no freedom found in staying stuck in fear.

In this episode, you’ll hear one of my favorite original poems, Breathwork. 

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YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@itsonlyupfromherepodcast 

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What happens when you stop creating yourself for an audience, but for yourself? What if we started showing up authentically, in a world that oftentimes loves the performed version of us? Walk with me as I explore what it means to start dismantling the idea of being “too” anything. And also explore what it means to stop putting yourself under the microscope of judgment and start accepting that sometimes the most interesting or different thing about you can be one of the most beautiful things about you.

Sometimes, the most tender, vulnerable parts of ourselves are the most needed.

In this special, first-of-its-kind episode on this podcast, I collaborated with writer/director Kelly McCready to take you on an interpretive and expressive visual journey through this topic.

In this episode, you’ll hear my original poem, Ocean’s Tide.

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YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@itsonlyupfromherepodcast 

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Connect with Kelly McCready through

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kellyraemac 

Website: https://kellymccready.com/ 

Email: [email protected] 

Kelly’s upcoming directorial project includes Perfect Love, a film that offers a nuanced, non-performative view of sexuality, queer women, and human connection. 

CREDITS:

Director/Visual Editor: Kelly McCready

Writer/Audio Editor: Lauren Summers

Happy New Year… but is it really happy? Thinking these days about how art is necessary during times of war and crisis. How art is necessary for survival. And how art has always been a tool of resistance and refuge during turbulent times. In this episode, I explore how art intersects politics, and how it’s no small feat to keep creating during these politically charged times. Stay safe, stay creating, and stay woke.

In this episode, you’ll hear my original poem, Ode to the Black Girl’s Hair. Thanks for listening, y’all.

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YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@itsonlyupfromherepodcast 

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This episode was inspired by one of writer Yrsa Daley-Ward’s gentle interrogation prompts on Instagram: “Write about the desire that embarrasses you.” So I talked about that embarrassing thing – yearning. In this episode, I dive into what it means to want deeply and openly in a culture that often treats yearning as weakness. I reflect on platonic love, longing for community, and vulnerability, muse on bell hooks (who spoke of this greatly), and unpack how desire can be both tender and transformative.

In this episode, you’ll hear my original poem, Love Is. Thanks for listening, y’all.

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YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@itsonlyupfromherepodcast 

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Content Warning: Mentions of Death, Grief

Walk with me as I reflect on my maternal grandfather’s passing this summer, and the idea he spoke about before transitioning, of being “ready to go home.”

I explore the unfinished stories we carry forward, the lives we honor by living our own fully, and how the creative work we do becomes an offering to our ancestors. What do we do with the love that stays? We create for ourselves what couldn’t be finished.

In this episode, you’ll hear my original poem, I’ll Never Be. Thanks for listening, y’all.

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YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@itsonlyupfromherepodcast 

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As an artist, you’re always attempting to make “fetch” happen (IYKYK). I was born creating, but these days, I often feel like a novice in the never-ending grind of trying to (and wanting to) promote my work. Walk with me as I explore the tension between creating art authentically and the pressure to constantly promote and produce in today’s grind-heavy culture. Making art at your own pace is still real, still worthy, and still hits exactly how it’s meant to. 

In this episode, you’ll hear my original poem, Superpower. Thanks for listening, y’all.

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YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@itsonlyupfromherepodcast 

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Email: [email protected]

Here’s the episode where I blame my inability to consistently post on writer’s block. This is also the episode where I realize that I have got to stop using that as a cop out.

Walk with me as I chat about the fact that we have to follow our passions quite simply because it’s our calling. Not for what validation the output will give us. Not to be published. Not to be spotlighted. But quite simply because we owe it to ourselves, because self-expression is a form of healing, and because our passions deserve to be honored.

In this episode, you’ll hear my original poem, Beside Myself Trying To Be Myself. Thanks for listening y’all.

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YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@itsonlyupfromherepodcast 

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Email: [email protected]

I’m back, 30, and feeling more directionless than ever. But sometimes, hope is an act of defiance, and all we've got in this crazy time we call 2025. 

In this episode, you’ll hear my original poem titled A Time Where I’ll Reek of Hope. Thanks for listening y’all.

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YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@itsonlyupfromherepodcast 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itsonlyupfromherepodcast/ 

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@itsonlyupfromherepodcast 

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We spend so much of our lives trying to control outcomes – mapping out plans, holding onto expectations, and resisting change. And in the age of the epidemic of loneliness, it’s no secret that it absolutely sucks to feel lonely, and we often feel a need to “control” or “fix” it. But what if sometimes… it’s OK? What if true peace comes from giving in? Not as a form of defeat but as an act of surrender. Bare with me as I try to flow instead of force.

In this episode, you’ll hear my original poem titled On Giving In. Thanks for listening y’all.

Connect with me through

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@itsonlyupfromherepodcast 

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2020 was an unusual and tricky time warp for everyone. From the days that blurred together through sheltering in during quarantine, to the uncertainty of tomorrow, that time period will always be somewhat mysterious and haunting to me. However, one of my biggest life turning points came during that time: my decision to move to New York City. It was a wild ride to say the least. Isn’t it crazy how embracing the unknown can lead to the most profound growth? 

In this episode, you’ll hear my original poem titled,It Was A Dream. You’ll also hear me reference my piece titledDespite All the Scaryin thePersonal Story Publishing Project's anthologyLuck and Opportunity. You can listen to that piecehere.

Connect with me through

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@itsonlyupfromherepodcast 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itsonlyupfromherepodcast/ 

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Email: [email protected]