It's Really None of Our Business Podcast

Monica confesses that she is a rule breaker.  So many rules are just stupid (in Monica's opinion). 

How about you guys? Do you break the rules when the rules are ridiculous.

Monica and Amanda  talk about the idea that we all are so careful with everything that we say, what happened to just saying what we feel without constantly monitoring yourself that you are PC enough

WTF

Monica talks about leaving Social Media for a few weeks.  She found she didn't miss anything.  Monica and Amanda both agree that too much scrolling and social media is really not that important, and is a waste of time.

Amanda asks Monica how she feels about those little white lies that people tell to get out of seeing friends.  Monica prefers the straight up approach, she has no issue with someone changing their mind if they don't want to go out or see her.  Some people have huge issues with you canceling plans, and in those cases to avoid the over dramatics a little white lie is necessary.  Amanda talks about a friend of hers who decided to not go to a family function and made up a covid lie.  We both agree that it's better to be straight up.

I’m (29M) in this bizarre situation at the moment and need others input. My wife’s nephew (18) was having problems with my SIL - his mom- for a while. We don’t know the full details but considering how awful she is as a person we didn’t blame him for wanting out of that house. His dad’s not in the picture, rest of the family lives too far from where he’s going to school and his job. He asked if he could come live with us and we were more than happy to help him out.

Don’t know when exactly the situation started only that I began noticing over the last couple of months that my boxer briefs were going missing whenever it was time for me to do laundry. As in I’d only find a couple in my hamper when I’d try doing laundry. I thought it was weird but didn’t think anything of it. I keep it in the closet so figured maybe they fell out when I toss all my dirty clothes in there. But it started to get even more noticeable when I actually had to buy more because I had no idea why they were disappearing. My wife just thought I was losing them by not paying attention.

Then I went into the storage room/guest room where her nephew is staying. I was looking for some supplies we keep there in the closet and then I found a laundry bag in one of the drawers. All of my underwear were in there. A whole big pile were stuffed in there and I couldn’t believe it. I asked my wife first if she had any idea about this and she was just as surprised as I was. We had a sit down with him, didn’t bring up what I found but asked him directly if he knew why my dirty underwear was disappearing from my hamper. He tried playing dumb at first, he’s a horrible liar and then we told him what we found.

It was an awkward conversation. He kept refusing it was him who took them then when he did confess he didn’t wanna say why. Honestly I just felt grossly violated. He was looking through my hamper and taking out my underwear for god knows how long, keeping them hidden in his room for I don’t know what reasons an it was an uncomfortable thought. My wife fully supported when I told her I’m not comfortable with him staying with us anymore and we sent him back to his moms. Ofc her whole family is upset about it. My wife confided in her other sister what happened and she decided to inform the whole family.

They admit that’s kind of gross but it’s not like he was stealing money and we shouldn’t have thrown him out for only that reason. My wife is getting it the hardest because they’re her family and I feel bad for her being caught in this. However I’m just no longer comfortable having him here knowing what he was doing. AITA?

Monica talks about the American Prisons in Texas.  Did you know that most prisons do not have air-conditioning?  

Nearly 75% of Texas' more than 100 prison facilities do not have air conditioning in inmate housing areas, and the department has reported nearly two dozen heat-related deaths since 1998.

It seems like Texas Governors feel like if they don't want to die of heat, then they shouldn't have committed a crime.  People really are assholes.

Amanda brings up the Alberta Covid Lottery. The Government of Alberta is giving away 3 million dollars in prizes to bring up Alberta's vaccination rate.    

Today's Wine: Gato Negro.  Not bad for a cheap wine, but if you have more then $15 you probably could get something better! 

WTF

Me and my wife have been together for 11 years, married for 4, and have 2 children. We have the usual fight now and then, but overall we try and maintain a healthy relationship. Her sister has been married for about 12 years, with 2 children. She lives in a different town, and we all get along fine.

About a month ago, I noticed my wife taking pictures and videos now and then of us in our private time. I didn't pay much attention to this as she says she likes looking at these pictures and videos when I travel for work, which is in IT.

Yesterday I was setting up backups for our photos, videos, etc of our phones and PCs when I noticed there were duplications of the pictures and videos she took. After checking out why I realized this the pictures and videos were shared. On WhatsApp, when sending media, the original picture/video will stay in your Gallery, and WhatsApp makes a copy of the picture/video and stores it in WhatsApp Images/Sent. Tracking this back I found out these were all shared with her sister.

My wife and her sister are very close, and looking at the messages it seems her sisters' sex life had become very stale, and she reached out to my wife for support and how to 'spice' up their sex life. After back and forth communication over a few days, her sister wanted to see how my wife does these sexual actions. My wife initially declined, but after a lot of begging, she relented. Her sister now uses the pictures and videos as masturbation material.

I have never ever been in a situation like this, and have no idea what to do. Should I even bring this up? Or sweep it under the rug. Me and my wife do communicate pretty well, but I don't even know how to start this conversation. My wife hasn't sent anything to her sister for about 2 weeks, and she messaged her sister to say she will not send more.

Monica tells Amanda about how she finds her own habits annoying.  Monica decided to take a bath for the first time in years and took out one of the hundreds of bath bombs that she got from Greg.  The bathtub immediately filled with marshmallows.  Monica wondered what kind of bath bomb has marshmallows?  Turns out it was a hot chocolate bomb.  Monica sat in the bathtub laughing hysterically. There's nothing like coating yourself in sugar while in the bath.

Monica and Amanda decided that being naked on the couch is pretty gross.  Words of Wisdom for the day are "just put on underwear!"

Amanda and Monica talk about whether people need to be pushed into talking. Do people appreciate the Monica and Amanda's of this world? Amanda is evaluating whether her no-filter attitude is causes issues for other people.  Monica feels that "screw those people that don't like you".   Amanda is trying to be a better person and wants to be more sensitive to how other people may perceive her.

WTF

MIL was doing some pole dance exercise thing and fell off the pole, and injured her back. She slept on the couch the other night because she couldn't get comfortable in her bed. We had the ceremony in the living room and just kind of hoped it wouldn't wake her up. MIL woke up right as we began and was like "what the fuck?" which embarrassed me in front of the preacher.

My cousin is a professional photographer and was taking pictures. MIL sat up, and obviously, she kind of looked like a mess, because she had been sleeping, and she was wearing white pajamas, and there was a little floral pattern, which looked almost bridal. I asked her to get out of the way of the camera because she wasn't going to look great in the pictures.

I don't know why that upset her, but she called us fucking stupid and left. I thought she was just being respectful and giving us privacy, but FIL came down and started yelling that how dare we use his house without his permission, and he didn't want those people in his house, and then he said I should not have asked MIL to move when it is her house.

My husband and I were blindsided. We just wanted our wedding to look good, and we get that it is their house, but we thought they could understand that it was our day.

AITA #2

So my much older sister recently lost her daughter who is around my age. She also does not like my husband. In reading her daughters tribute(obituary) it goes on to list the remaining family including her aunt's(me being one of them). Everyone is listed family member (spouse) family member's last name. Example: Julie (John) Smith. Except me. I have been married for over 10 YEARS to the same person and my husband was not only left out but she used my maiden name as well (i.e Julie Richards) I'm highly offended by this and feel like it's so disrespectful to not only me and my husband but also the children we share. My husband doesn't care if it's changed but feels I should say something to present a united front. I very much want it changed but am well aware that she will play victim and make it out like I'm so awful for wanting it changed. What would you do? Should I just let it go? ******Let me offer some background: My sister and I are not

Monica and Amanda talk to Corbie Mitleid today about her psychic abilities and how to avoid fakes.

Corbie's book the Physic Yellow Brick Road: How to Find the Real Wizards and Avoid the Flying Monkeys discusses all the ways that you can find the real deal. 

As she tells us there is no Better Business Bureau for psychics. 

Corbie Mitleid has been on the mystic’s path for over 40 years -- meeting challenges, always

You can find Corbie at: 

[email protected]

https://corbiemitleid.com

https://www.facebook.com/corbie.mitleid

Today we talk with Sean Dustin from the Nowhere To Go But Up Podcast. Sean lived a troubled life and spent the majority of his youth and early adulthood in trouble and on drugs.  

Sean was a latch-key kid and felt that his abundance of freedom and lack of consequences pushed him into crime and drugs. 

He discovered "Crank" or Meth when he was 14.  His stepmother was the first one to introduce him to drugs. Sean talks about funding his life by selling drugs, stealing, and forgery. 

He felt that it was easier to live like this than to get a job.   Eventually, things caught up with him and he went to prison.  Sean talks about being beaten up by gang members and his own tough-guy attitude.

After being released from jail, he continued to live his life like an a$$hole and didn't seem to learn his lesson or change his ways. 

He was once again arrested for forgery but ended up going to rehab instead of jail. What finally changed Sean's ways?  It was his little girl. He realized that he was role modeling angry behavior.  The last thing he wanted was for his daughter to date someone like him.  If he continued to show her his aggressive behavior, what would this do to her? 

He has since started a podcast - Nowhere To Go But Up, quit taking drugs, and is on the path to self-growth. You can find Sean Dustin at all the pod places.

Email: [email protected]

Another month in lock down has  Amanda coming up with creative ideas to keep her family sane.  Amanda and her family, stayed in a hotel down the road just to use the pool.  Each family that books the hotel can book private pool time.  It is here that we discover Amanda's hatred for crumbs in the bed.  Amanda is a hard NO on eating anything that could cause crumbs anywhere near her bed.    Monica, in her search for a mattress protector discovers and endless sea of comments of people who eat in bed,  wine and food spillage seems to be a thing on mattresses.  This is gross to Monica and Amanda (who for once agree on something!)  Is eating in bed gross or are the girls just uptight? 

Monica confesses that she is totally addicted to her phone and is frustrated at the endless mind-suck.  What a waste of time she says.  The addiction is real. She needs an intervention.

Wine and What the Fuck

I [29F] dated a guy Joe (30M) for 3 months before he left me to go back to his ex Kim (30F). Right after we broke up I found out I was pregnant and now I’m at 24 weeks. I let him know and he was ecstatic. Turns out his girlfriend had fertility issues and would likely never be able to get pregnant naturally and he has always wanted to be a father. Getting back together was out of the question for both of us so he’s still with his girlfriend.

Joe was only allowed at the initial appointment because of COVID-19 and we found out I was having twins. According to Joe when he told Kim she had a mental breakdown about her infertility, and wanted to talk to me. I met them at their house and Kim stated that she wanted to be involved in my pregnancy because she would eventually be the children’s stepmother. She started telling me that I needed to do a home birth, that I needed to formula feed so that they could have the babies half of the week, that she wanted one boy and one girl, and that she wanted the kid to call her Mama since they would be calling me Mommy. I shut her down and said I would make the best choices for my children and my body and left.

Kim continued to be overbearing and texting me everyday about my eating habits, exercise habits, and bitching about how her job wouldn’t let her take maternity leave. At the virtual genetics counseling appointment, she attended instead of Joe and took over the whole meeting trying to talk about her family history which wasn’t relevant. When it came time for my 20 week level 2 scan, they allowed me one guest and Joe suggested I take Kim instead of him, which I refused to do. Joe did end up coming and he found out the gender because I wanted to keep it a surprise for me so we could throw a gender reveal party. I put a pregnancy announcement on my social media and then she put up an announcement saying they were expecting twins “the non-traditional way” and how blessed she was. I was irritated but I kept my mouth shut. Then she threw a gender reveal party and posted it on social media. I wasn’t even invited. She also announced that she’s having a baby shower. I commented on her posts and told her to stop treating me like a surrogate, that the kids weren’t hers, and that Joe didn’t have any claim or custody of the kids until they are born. I then called Joe and reiterated all of this and stated that I would not be seeing either of them until we went to family court and that my mother would be my birthing partner. He and Kim and some of her friends and family are saying I’m an asshole and her mother even called and insisted I give her one of my babies like this is the Parent Trap? So AITA?

In this episode, we get to know our host Amanda Nielsen. 

Tune in to hear her riveting answers to these questions:

What's something that other people like but you do not understand?

What's something you have never been able to do well?

What would you do if you were invisible for a day?

What's your favorite superpower?

What will people say at your funeral?

If you woke up tomorrow and you were a guy, what would you do?

When was the last time you tried something new, and what was it?

What's a belief that you have that other people disagree with?

Today's Sponsor:  Fat Pants.  If you are tired of buying new pants, get new Fatty pants.  Looks like ordinary leggings, but stretches 10x more than regular leggings.  Never buy pants again!

So my fiancée and I are getting married in 9 months.

She's been dress shopping with her girls for months now. She found the dress she loved and bought it, and was too excited to keep it a secret. She showed me pics of the bridesmaid's dresses and I told her they were pretty, they match my groomsmen's suits really well.

Anyway, she brought her dress out and asked what I thought. I specifically asked her if she wants God's honest truth and wants me to critique the dress or if she knows she loves it and just wants to show me. She said she wanted my opinion.

She put the dress on and came out of the bathroom and I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little disappointed. She's a beautiful woman and looks incredible in anything of course, but the dress completely dwarfed her and didn't really fit the wedding theme she has worked so hard for. She wanted forestry, magical and whimsical, type theme. Flower crowns on the bridesmaids etc. But she chose a super sparkly dress with a HUGE skirt, which looked nothing like the simple, body-hugging sexy dresses she had been repeatedly showing me. She picked basically a huge Disney princess dress and I just didn't like how it looked at all.

I was honest when I told her I didn't like it and I was surprised she picked it because it just doesn't seem to match her and I just thought it was too much poof and sparkle. She got really quiet and stormed back upstairs, and then stormed out of the house and went to her Mom's. Texted me saying she couldn't believe I would say I didn't like it and what a dickhead I am and has blocked number. This is our first major fight and I'm just so annoyed because I ASKED if she wanted a real opinion and she said yes.

AITA for telling her I don't like the dress?

Edit to add: ahh. Aha. I read my credit card statement. The dress was 9 thousand dollars. Might help explain the reaction. "Oh, you don't like this 9 thousand dollar dress? Great cause I can't return it!" Probably went thru her head. I don't know what to do but sit here and laugh. Is laugh-crying a thing?

Get to know your host Monica this episode.  Amanda asks Monica such riveting questions as:

How often do you shower?

Do you pee in the Shower?

What else do you do in the Shower?

How often do you really wash your hands, you filthy animal?

If you had a time machine, would you travel back in time to meet your ancestors, or ahead in time to meet your descendants?

Today's Sponsor: Mind Fuck.  The only way to control the losers in your life is through mind control

Hi Reddit I'm M28 and I will be getting married next year. We will be holding a pretty grand wedding with over 100 people. My best friend is Tara and she is blind. Has been blind since she moved into my neighborhood. She has a support dog who she uses and is very independent.

My fiancé and her parents are allergic to dogs. My fiancé doesn't want the dog to be allowed at the wedding because this is her special day and she should be able to choose who comes and goes to the wedding. This dog is also not hypoallergenic and has a lot of fur which would most likely worsen the problem. My fiancé and her parents won't budge and everyone agrees with it. This dog is a certified service dog and is well trained but it can't control its dander and if I am being honest, this day belongs to my fiancé and she should be 100%.

I told my best friend that she could come but no dog. We would escort her through the party and she could just stay for the ceremony and we could escort her away. She was very upset and through a massive fit and even cried at the end. She doesn't have a lot of friends and was really looking forward to my wedding but now couldn't attend. She called my wife an ableist and that taking tablets wouldn't hurt her. I agree, but a lot of her family have this problem and it's quite frankly more of a hassle to make everyone take medications than have her escorted. Also, I think the bride has a lot more say than a guest. She is still very hysterical and is blaming my fiancé. She called me an AH for supporting my fiancé and abandoning her. I do understand it's tough and independence is very important but she is not compromising, so she cannot attend. AITA?

Edit: Seems like I missed out on something crucial. I saw a lot of YTA and I thought it was wrong that my wife would not allow her to come and it was indeed ablest. So when talking to her (she had no idea about the post) she told me another important factor was her cousins and uncles were not willing and able to come because they are deathly allergic to dogs. Seems like her cousin can get hives and that he is an important part of the wedding planning. Also, grandma is coming and she is in her nineties and they don't want to take a chance with the dog. So to me, it seems like a done deal, but I'll leave this thread open for any more comments.

Amanda and Monica talk to Melissa Symons about her decision to not have children.  Melissa feels that she never wanted children. 

At 42 she says she is really happy about her decision.   We discuss whether Melissa's childhood caused her to reject the notion of motherhood, as she was "done" taking care of people.  Melissa spent most of her life taking care of her mother's emotional needs and feels she is done taking care of people.

Melissa feels that because she felt she wasn't nurtured she never learned how.  So the mothering instinct never kicked in.

Amanda reads a blog where she discusses a woman who never had children, how her life is made up of all the wonderful things she wants to do, reading, going out for dinner, and having drinks.

But, after she visited some friends who were exhausted and overcome with not having enough sleep and being exhausted.  The writer realizes that even though she can do whatever she wants, she is faced with being alone when she is old.  She wonders who will be there alongside her when she dies.

We discuss different ways to be happy.  We discuss that family, purpose, and community are the things that make all people happy.   A family can be made from a community, and purpose can be anything that fills you with joy.

WTF:  We all agree that the guy asking for compensation is an asshole! 

AITA for asking for compensation for something my kid destroyed? We hired a babysitter we've had a few times at a good rate of $20/hr since it was only for 3 hours in our home. The babysitter is a 19-year-old woman if it matters, I think maybe the age will affect something. My wife had to rush to work in an emergency and I was already at work. The babysitter is already familiar with some of our rules like our 3y/o is only allowed in the living room, playroom, and dining room (when eating).

The babysitter I guess had an emergency herself and had to be on the phone for 20 minutes. For some reason, she decided to take the call outside, her rationale was it was private, and didn't want our child to listen in. In those 20 minutes, our daughter was able to move the couch to the living room gate, scale the gate, head into the basement, and pull one of my guitars off the wall. The neck is all warped and my luthier said the neck needs to be replaced.

I'm asking the babysitter to front the bill on a new guitar, not a repair or neck replacement, as the alternatives diminish the value of the guitar (mismatching neck-to-body severely impacts value, and a neck repair does too). It's $2,200. Am I the a$$hole here? Or is she? Her parents are telling us we're responsible, she's offering only to have babysat for free, our friends are saying we're too harsh, but it was her responsibility, right?