IVF Before and After Podcast

Post-natal/postpartum depression can happen to women after giving birth, and it may affect a woman’s physical and emotional state negatively. Now, imagine having multiple births; the exhaustion and stress doubles. The mother might feel helplessness and isolation. So, in this episode of the IVF Before and After Podcast, Kay opens up about her experience on having post-natal depression after giving birth to twins. It’s difficult – difficult to be the best mother, the best partner, and above all, the best version of yourself while you’re going through it. What you need to do is be open up about it and reach out to your loved ones or a professional. Don’t let it affect you and your baby’s health, and your other relationships. Remember: you can get pass through this! 

KEY TAKEAWAYS 

• Postpartum depressions happen in every woman. There will be changes in her physical, emotional, and behavioural state. And most moms aren’t aware of this. They need the emotional support they need from their loved ones and the proper care and diet for their body. 

• Not just the moms, but one out of 10 dads also experience post-natal depression.  
• Symptoms of post-natal/postpartum depression: 

• Persistent feeling of sadness and longing 
• Lack of enjoyment and loss of interest 
• Lack of energy and feeling tired all the time 

• Trouble sleeping at night and feeling sleepy during the day 
• Difficulty bonding with your baby 
• Withdrawing contact from other people 
• Problems concentrating and making decisions 
• Frightening thoughts 

• Aside from sadness, anger is commonly linked to depression. It’s the result when moms think that they won’t meet everyone’s expectation as they go through motherhood. Being angry can have adverse effects on the mother, the baby, and the rest of the family.  

BEST MOMENTS 

VALUABLE RESOURCES 

ABOUT THE HOST 

IVF Before and After was founded by Kay Dempsey. She created IVF Before and After, after many years spent researching and practising every possible way to conceive with IVF. Kay has created a global community with the use of podcasts she will share the stepping stones to empower your mindset, fuel your body organically and support you along your fertility journey. 

CONTACT METHOD 

What happens to our unhappiness and how do we seek peace and harmony when that is what is lacking in our lives?

This episode reflects further on the Silent Retreat Kay discusses in Episode 17.

When our unhappiness fills the atmosphere around us so those who come into contact with us are affected by our unhappiness can result in us seeking unusual and sometimes extreme experiences to change things. In this episode Kay reflects on the lengths she was prepared to go to and shares her experiences with candour and honesty.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• How do we live harmoniously? this can be very difficult when you can’t see that you are miserable.
• Retreat and meditation can be a universal remedy for a universal problem.
• We pay so little attention to the ongoing surge of our life experience that we might just as well be asleep.
• Through the mindfulness process, we become aware that life has its ups and downs, good and bad.
• You will learn for the first time what is happening to you and around you.
• It’s a process of self-discovery, you will experience the true nature of your life.
• Life will become full of riches that have to be experienced.
• I thought I was taking charge of my life because I was in chronic pain and my mind was occupied by countless other things.
• I was going to be cleansed, be a happier person and retrain my mind to achieve my dreams.
• It was an experience I wouldn’t want to repeat and demonstrates how far I was prepared to go to clear my body of pain and the hurt from not being able to conceive.
• Your anger and fear are reactions to a reality we have created in our own minds.
• To retrain your brain, you must put in a great deal of effort, believing you are doing your best isn’t enough.
• There is no perfect and no right or wrong don’t hold onto the fear and hate. I went to extremes and It didn’t help.
• The true nature of life is to feel alive and to focus on what’s important to you, learning to look after yourself.

BEST MOMENTS

‘What am I doing here when will someone tell me what to do?’

‘Life will become full of riches that have to be experienced’

‘We are not paying enough attention to notice that we are not paying attention’

‘The mind focuses on only one item and in doing this you are able to achieve tranquillity’

VALUABLE RESOURCES

IVF Before and After Podcast

ABOUT THE HOST

IVF Before and After was founded by Kay Dempsey. She created IVF Before and After, after many years spent researching and practising every possible way to conceive with IVF. Kay has created a global community with the use of podcasts she will share the stepping stones to empower your mindset, fuel your body organically and support you along your fertility journey.

CONTACT METHOD

https://www.instagram.com/ivfbeforeandafter/

https://twitter.com/IVFBEFOREAFTER

https://www.facebook.com/IVF-Before-and-After

‘OMG they’ve let me take the twins home’

In this episode Kay describes how life changed forever when she took home her twins. The treasured and precious babies who marked the beginning of a new life filled with laughter and adventure,  listen in to hear a candid account of what it is really like.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• I’m there to be their parent and accept all the dysfunction that comes with that.
• It doesn’t look like its ever going to stop, well at least not for the next 18 years.
• When finally, they sleep it’s difficult to decide what to do with the ‘free time’
• The reality is I’m so captivated that I spend the time posting pictures of them so family can share in how wonderful they are.
• So, we are now parents there to care, love and nurture our wonderful new human beings.
• We are able to see the world through their eyes as a new adventure begins
• It won’t always be about bottles, nappies and sleep deprivation, laughter and adventure will fill the house as our new lives begin.

BEST MOMENTS

‘We won’t have time for our friends anymore as we have joy in our little ones’

‘I’m posting pictures of my sleeping babies because the truth is  I’m missing them being awake’

‘You think about your friends, if you don’t like socialising or sleep, have a baby’

VALUABLE RESOURCES

IVF Before and After Podcast

ABOUT THE HOST

IVF Before and After is founded by Kay Dempsey. She created IVF Before and After, after many years spent researching and practising every possible way to conceive with IVF. Kay has created a global community with the use of podcasts she will share the stepping stones to empower your mindset, fuel your body organically and support you along your fertility journey.

CONTACT METHOD

https://www.instagram.com/ivfbeforeandafter/

https://twitter.com/IVFBEFOREAFTER

https://www.facebook.com/IVF-Before-and-After

Many assume that once a mother has given birth through IVF that the experience must have been a beautiful one. But it isn’t always a happy ending for a couple. But in reality, it doesn’t quite work that way.

In this episode, Kay talks about some of the hidden factors that affect IVF mothers during the pregnancy in a stark, candid and deeply personal confession about the realities of being an IVF mother.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• The constant state of apprehension during an IVF pregnancy can be troubling, as well as joyful. The constant checking on one’s own secretions, the repeated tests to make sure that pregnancy has even occurred, and even the lengthy courses of medication, can lead to an unhappy experience, when the miracle of pregnancy should be enjoyed and celebrated.

• Even practical concerns, such as buying baby clothes or equipment, becomes a dramatic decision. The pregnancy can sometimes feel so fragile, that these pleasures cannot be enjoyed.

• IVF mothers can even feel a reluctance to bond with the baby inside them when they kick, for fear of being even more heartbroken should the pregnancy not continue to full term.

• Sometimes you can be overcome by guilt for not having been able to conceive naturally. It can also lead to a feeling of non-possession when the baby is born; as though it will one day have to be returned.

• Finding peace with yourself is realising that these heightened concerns are most likely the concerns of any mother; IVF or natural.

• Learning to manage not just our tasks, but our outlook on these tasks, is the key to making peace with yourself.

• Guilt at yourself erodes your confidence about who you are, what you’re doing. It makes you feel unworthy, and can lead to a loss of identity.

BEST MOMENTS

‘It sometimes means holding your breath every time you go for a scan and they check for a heartbeat’

‘When you’re at the maternity unit, you are sitting in waiting rooms filled with women who have their innocence still intact’

‘You feel the constant battle of being happy and heartbroken all at one time’

‘Navigating through life with an IVF baby is exhausting’

‘Life at the beginning with them is all about feeding them, winding, crying with them, playing with them, worrying and simply marvelling at their beauty, and at the fact that they were once inside me’

‘All of this will become our memories. Memories are our recipe’

VALUABLE RESOURCES

 https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ivf-before-and-after-podcast/id1413710507?mt=2

ABOUT THE HOST

IVF Before and After was founded by Kay Dempsey. She created IVF Before and After, after many years spent researching and practising every possible way to conceive with IVF. Kay has created a global community with the use of podcasts she will share the stepping stones to empower your mindset, fuel your body organically and support you along your fertility journey.

CONTACT METHOD

https://www.instagram.com/ivfbeforeandafter/

https://twitter.com/IVFBEFOREAFTER

https://www.facebook.com/IVF-Before-and-After

Welcome to I.V.F.; Before & After. In this episode, your host Kay Dempsey revisits last weeks topic. If you haven't already listened, go back and listen to #019 of the podcast where Kay discussed extracts from Michelle Obama’s open account of fertility  treatments & getting pregnant, in a thought-provoking episode. 

Primarily, Kay talks about what people feel and if people truly want to be known and discuss the inability to have children in modern society.

VALUABLE RESOURCES 

 https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ivf-before-and-after-podcast/id1413710507?mt=2 

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B079Z661B7/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1  

ABOUT THE HOST 

IVF Before and After was founded by Kay Dempsey. She created IVF Before and After, after many years spent researching and practising every possible way to conceive with IVF. Kay has created a global community with the use of podcasts she will share the stepping stones to empower your mindset, fuel your body organically and support you along your fertility journey.   

CONTACT METHOD 

https://www.instagram.com/ivfbeforeandafter/ 

https://twitter.com/IVFBEFOREAFTER 

https://www.facebook.com/IVF-Before-and-After 

Kay asks, ‘ is everyone jumping on the bandwagon of fertility?’ listen in to this episode and then get in touch with Kay to share your views.

To open up the discussion Kay shares extracts from Michelle Obama’s honest and open account of fertility treatments and getting pregnant in this thought-provoking episode.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Michelle Obama’s book ‘Becoming’ includes a very honest and open account of her challenges with fertility and getting pregnant.
• Fertility is not something you conquer there is no straight line between effort and reward. No matter how hard we tried we couldn’t come up with a pregnancy.
• At first, we thought it was down to timing across the month and enthusiastically sought to rectify this with late night journeys to return home after a vote, so that activities coincided with patterns of  ovulation
• We were excited to discover we were finally pregnant, but this was quickly followed by a miscarriage and a miscarriage is lonely, painful and demoralising on a cellular level.
• What nobody tells you is that miscarriages happen all the time to more women than you would ever guess.
• Given the relative silence around miscarriage, I only found out about friends experiences when I talked about mine.
• Having undergone tests, the mystery of why we couldn’t get pregnant remained.
• We went on to try several different approaches recommended by our fertility doctor
• All the work around treatments made me anxious but I had been waiting to have a family for a very long time.
• I felt the acute responsibility of being a female and over the next few weeks, the reality of the treatments made me very aware that it would be me who put my career on hold and would have to alter my life substantially for a family.
• Then when we found out we were pregnant for real suddenly the relative sacrifice meant something completely different.
• We had our outward lives but now there was something inward happening. I walked around with a secret inside me this was my gift for being female.
• After our tiny girl arrived in our world motherhood became my motivator, it dictated my decisions and the rhythm of the day.
• When there is a baby in the house time stretches and I could lose an hour just watching her breathe, this tiny girl entrusted to us.

BEST MOMENTS

‘I treated it like a mission’

‘Seeing women and children walking along the street brought  pain and a feeling of inadequacy’

‘A relative biological hiccup, an egg that for some perfectly good reason had to bail out’

‘It felt like having high stakes lottery tickets’

‘He was on the outside while I got to live the process, I was the process’

‘I was never alone or lonely she was always there’

‘We tracked her every gurgle’

VALUABLE RESOURCES

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ivf-before-and-after-podcast/id1413710507?mt=2

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B079Z661B7/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

ABOUT THE HOST

IVF Before and After was founded by Kay Dempsey. She created IVF Before and After, after many years spent researching and practising every possible way to conceive with IVF. Kay has created a global community with the use of podcasts she will share the stepping stones to empower your mindset, fuel your body organically and support you along your fertility journey.

CONTACT METHOD

https://www.instagram.com/ivfbeforeandafter/

https://twitter.com/IVFBEFOREAFTER

https://www.facebook.com/IVF-Before-and-After

In this episode, Kay takes us through some of the ‘add-ons’ that are offered when you are undertaking IVF treatments. She explores in detail the research and data that is available and explains what each treatment involves.

This podcast is an invaluable listen for anyone considering IVF, tune in now.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• What are Add-ons?

HFEA has developed a traffic light system to help people decide about add-on treatments. Green signals the treatment has one or more good quality.

Amber signals the treatment has a small or conflicting body of evidence.

The Red symbol signals the treatment has no evidence to suggest it is effective or safe.

• Assisted hatching - Red

Before an embryo can implant in the womb it has to break out or ‘hatch’ from its zona pellucida. Assisted hatching involves using acid, lasers or other tools to thin or make a hole in the zona pellucida - helping the embryo to hatch.

NICE the national body advising doctors on treatments. says:

“Assisted hatching is not recommended because it has not been shown to improve pregnancy rates.”

• What is Elective freeze all cycles – Amber

It’s thought by having all their embryos frozen, women are at lower risk of suffering from ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome, an overreaction to fertility drugs.

Some research suggests that pregnancy rates are increased by using frozen embryo transfers and that the risks to mother and baby are lower.

• Artificial egg activation calcium ionophore – Amber

If the egg doesn’t activate, then it won’t develop, egg activation may be stimulated by chemicals added to the embryo in the lab.

In the few studies done to date, egg activation may have improved fertilisation rates in cycles where the egg and sperm have failed previously.

• Embryo glue - Amber

Embryo glue may improve the chance of the embryo implanting in the womb.

Research suggests it may increase pregnancy and birth rates by around 10% but further quality studies are needed.

• Endometrial scratching - Amber

The theory is that the scratch procedure triggers the body to repair the site of the scratch, releasing chemicals and hormones that make the womb lining more receptive to an embryo implanting.

There have only been a small number of moderate quality studies.

• Intrauterine culture - Red

Intrauterine culture allows the early stages of embryo development to take place within the patient’s womb.

There’s currently no evidence to show that intrauterine culture improves birth rates and is safe.

• Pre-implantation genetic screening - Amber for day 5 embryos, Red for day 3 embryos

It involves checking embryos for abnormalities in the number of chromosomes. A cell is removed and tested if done later several cells are tested

Some small studies have shown that PGS on day 5 might be helpful in selecting a viable embryo to transfer in younger patients

• Reproductive immunology tests and treatment - Red

Reproductive Immunology looks at how a woman’s immune system reacts when she becomes pregnant.

There is no convincing evidence and there are risks attached to these treatments, some of which are very serious.

• Time-lapse imaging - Amber

In IVF, time-lapse imaging is used to help select the embryos most likely to successfully develop into a baby.

There have been various studies to try and see if time-lapse imaging can improve birth rates. Initial research has shown some promise.

• Intracytoplasmic morphologic sperm injection (IMSI) - Red

The technique involves using a microscope to view sperm under very high magnification This allows clinics to view detailed images of sperm.

The research that has been carried out does not support the use of IMSI over standard treatments.

• Physiological intracytoplasmic sperm injection (PICSI) - Red

PICSI identifies sperm that can bind to HA and these sperms are selected for use in treatment.

There have been a number of studies comparing PICSI with standard treatments but there is very little evidence to suggest there is any benefit to using it.

BEST MOMENTS

‘Capitalising on the hopes of vulnerable people’

‘I was given an abundance of information but nothing made it clear what the percentages were’

‘You’re in the hands of the clinic’

‘For me how the clinic worked was more important than the data’

‘People who unfortunately require fertility treatments become their own experts’

‘They read extensively  about each treatment but this is coupled with being desperate for success so they are open to many treatments’

‘In the UK the top clinics' success rates vary only by a few percentage points’

‘Non-evidence based therapies, known as add-ons can cost thousands’

VALUABLE RESOURCES

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ivf-before-and-after-podcast/id1413710507?mt=2

ABOUT THE HOST

The IVF Before and After podcast was founded by Kay Dempsey. She created IVF Before and After, after many years spent researching and practising every possible way to conceive with IVF. Kay has created a global community with the use of podcasts she will share the stepping stones to empower your mindset, fuel your body organically and support you along your fertility journey.

CONTACT METHOD

https://www.instagram.com/ivfbeforeandafter/

https://twitter.com/IVFBEFOREAFTER

https://www.facebook.com/IVF-Before-and-After

This episode explores unhappiness, how it affects those around us and the ways in which we can understand it.

If you have ever been in a situation where unhappiness seems to grow and everything around you becomes an obstacle to listen in now to find out about why and how understanding can change everything.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• What happens to our unhappiness?

Everyone seeks peace and harmony because this is what we lack in our lives.

We all suffer miseries such as irritation, anger and disharmony and when we suffer from these feelings we often distribute them to others around us.

Unhappiness fills the atmosphere around us so those we come in to contact with also become affected with our misery. This is not a way to live as we are social beings who interact with others.

• How are we to live harmoniously?

I found this very difficult at first because I couldn’t see that I was miserable, and I didn’t understand that In order to relieve the misery you have to know the cause of the problem.

• How do we start to generate the negativity?

We create tension within and begin to see lots of obstacles in front of us. As these unwanted things happen the process of reaction called Gordian Knots begins. It makes the entire mental structure become very tense and full of negativity and life becomes very miserable.

We don’t want all this negativity, but we hold on to it because we think it makes us a better person

• How can we stop reacting?

If something unwanted happens and you start to react negatively you could divert your emotions - begin to chant a mantra, have a glass of water.

But when you take this action you are pushing your negativity deeper within yourself

and sooner or later it will surface.

You have to face the problem. As soon as you start to observe a mental impurity it begins to lose its power and wither away. This is a solution that avoids both extreme suppression and extreme expression.

• Retreat and Meditate?

I started along the path of Darma – a universal remedy for universal problems

• What was it going to do for me?

The technique was going to eradicate my suffering through mental purification and allow me to face life’s problems and tensions in a calm and peaceful balanced way.

The process takes place at a retreat over ten days, it is a relatively short time to understand the deeper aspects of the unconscious mind and to eradicate the negativities that are lying there.

• A noble silence

As part of the course, there was noble silence

This is the silence of your body, speech and mind. This silence lasts for the entirety of the retreat and encourages the aspects of understanding that you are working in isolation experiencing Self-purification by self-observation.

BEST MOMENTS

‘This is not the way to live we are social beings’

‘A negative in the mind is a mental impurity’

‘We start tying knots around our life’

‘There is this sleeping volcano of suppressed negativity’

‘The difficulty is we are not aware when negativity starts and by the time we recognise it has grown in strength’

‘A by-product of this mental purification is the elimination of any psychosomatic problems’

VALUABLE RESOURCES

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ivf-before-and-after-podcast/id1413710507?mt=2

ABOUT THE HOST

IVF Before and After was founded by Kay Dempsey. She created IVF Before and After, after many years spent researching and practising every possible way to conceive with IVF. Kay has created a global community with the use of podcasts she will share the stepping stones to empower your mindset, fuel your body organically and support you along your fertility journey.

CONTACT METHOD

https://www.instagram.com/ivfbeforeandafter/

https://twitter.com/IVFBEFOREAFTER

https://www.facebook.com/IVF-Before-and-After

When IVF fails, it’s hard to get your head around what went wrong. Seeing that one line will make you crumble down. It’s difficult to have this happen in your life. So, in this episode of the IVF Before and After Podcast, Kay guarantees that you’re not alone and someone’s walking alongside you.

You’ll feel resentment, anger, and hate. It’s okay. It will take time to heal especially that you came from this significant moment in your life. If you’re skeptic about what you need to do next after a failed IVF, make sure to listen in. Just remember: things will get better.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• More than 95% of IVF failures is due to the risk of the embryo.
• Keep in mind that you’ve done nothing wrong. Once the sperm is implanted, it’s not in your control anymore.
• It’s best that you surround yourself with your loved ones – your family and friends. You need your support system as close to you as much as possible. Stay away from people who would keep you down when going along the journey.

BEST MOMENTS

• “You don’t need someone texting you all the time asking every detail of what it’s like. If it’s negative, you don’t have to tell anybody about it. It’s private for you and your family, you and your partner.”
• “It takes time to tell to your heart that you miscarried.”

VALUABLE RESOURCES

• http://ivfbeforeandafter.com/

ABOUT THE HOST

IVF Before and After was founded by Kay Dempsey. She created IVF Before and After, after many years spent researching and practicing every possible way to conceive with IVF. Kay has created a global community with the use of podcasts she will share the stepping stones to empower your mindset, fuel your body organically and support you along your fertility journey.

CONTACT METHOD

• instagram.com/ivfbeforeandafter/
• https://twitter.com/IVFBEFOREAFTER
• facebook.com/IVF-Before-and-After

What's Age Got To Do With It?

Welcome to an episode that provides the answers to one of the most frequently asked questions “What's age got to do with it?”

Kay shares with us the facts and misconceptions about age and how it impacts on IVF treatments

Listen now to find out the answers to this vital question.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• No one should hold themselves back from undertaking IVF treatment. Some have time to wait some do not because of age.

• In real life, a woman's age does have a profound effect on the possibility of being pregnant naturally or through IVF. Age also affects the cost of IVF.

• Quality and Quantity

You are born with all your eggs but about as you get older the viability of the eggs decreases. If you are over the age of 35 your egg quality and quantity will affect the cost of IVF as well as the success rate of the treatment.

As part of the treatment, injectable fertility drugs are used to stimulate your ovulation and produce multiple eggs. These drugs are a major part of the expense in IVF and need to be carefully considered if you are funding IVF yourself.

• The Older Mother

People can feel that if you are an older mother you won't be able to meet the physical demands of a small child. Within families grandparents regularly undertake the care of young grand-children showing that they are able to meet the physical demands of looking after a small child.

• There is often a concern that there is a higher risk during pregnancy and when giving birth however studies show that 80% of women over 45 have no problems during pregnancy and 80% give birth at full term.

BEST MOMENTS

‘No one should hold themselves back from doing IVF’

‘Being an older mother has benefits, you have more patience and experience’

‘If I could turn back the clock I would have done it all sooner – and what huge difference that would have made’

‘Dreams do come true, hold on to them we all can do it’

VALUABLE RESOURCES

http://ivfbeforeandafter.com/

ABOUT THE HOST

IVF Before and After was founded by Kay Dempsey. She created IVF Before and After, after many years spent researching and practicing every possible way to conceive with IVF. Kay has created a global community with the use of podcasts she will share the stepping stones to empower your mindset, fuel your body organically and support you along your fertility journey.

CONTACT METHOD

www.instagram.com/ivfbeforeandafter/

https://twitter.com/IVFBEFOREAFTER

www.facebook.com/IVF-Before-and-After