Jack's Silly Little Friendly Neighborhood Star Trek Discovery, Short Treks & Podcast

Christmas excitement is in the air, and Carlos is in rare form as he excitedly waits for his special Yuletide guests, the Star Trek captains, to come and answer all his questions about Star Trek Scouts!

Sam and Sean fly ALL the way to Japan to sit in Jack (Stovold, not Crusher)'s living room to talk about what is mostly likely the final onscreen appearance of Jean-Luc Picard, the series finale of PICARD! Barm, Kregg and Kev opt to stay in their homes, but we celebrate BARM'S PERFECT ATTENDANCE RECORD! We also chat about what is probably(?) the series finale of Mando, Breath of the Wild on the eve of its sequel's release, and yes, the episode where all the old people you love singlehandedly defeat the Borg forever and it's so fucking awesome, yay. This episode will live on forever, or at least confusingly sometimes be dead, but also be back again, like Q. Chingy!

THE BAD GUYS ARE THE BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Jack's partner in ape podcast crime Geoff finally drops in to see what the heck is going on in season 3 of Picard, as Barm and Kev's files remain safely partitioned within the decrepit body of Brent Spiner. Against all odds, they're still enjoying this movie-like season of Picard and having the gang all back together at last, although certainly not without some caveats, some droid bar talk concerning a star-studded Mando ep, the New Jedi Order, how Changelings in space work, some wild coincidences, and the longest cold open in history. Pull up a chair, pour yourself a Nepenthe, and dig in. Fucking podcasters.

Sam is back to continue his strange and wonderful habit of only watching every third Picard S3 episode, joined by Sean for his second dalliance with the season. Barm and Jack remain in the trenches, shell-shocked. But their spirits are buoyed by one of Levar Burton's most moving performances ever and by realizing Brent Spiner is, somehow, still an actor capable of doing some interesting performances even after being buried under a mountain of Soongs. They're also enjoying clarifying the story of Mario Sunshine, discussing the Japanese titles of Dominion expansions, imagining a sweet-ass Riker/Tuvok team-up, lamenting Discovery style "drama" and lighting issues, ranking Captain/Admiral's sons, discussing their personal favorite John Wick installments, and exploring their changing attitudes towards Mario 64 levels. It's just business as usual.

Sphere Lores and Moriarties and Geordis, OH MYYYY….. We finally get to all the factories, and find this is where Picard Season 3 finally descends into nonsense. It's still entertaining nonsense with some well written conversations and performances, but yeah. Ferengi expert Kregg joins Kev and Barm to talk about fan jerk-offs, more (new?) questions about Changelings, baffling Moriarty cameos, Soong Mega-Collection, Picard's DEAD BODY, which Golden Girl is which Mandalorian, and mourn the death of Barm's beloved betta fish. Listen to this episode so that we can feel seen.

The surprising return of Ro Laren lures Sean back to the podcast to finally dish on Picard Season 3. Ro SUPERFANS Barm and Kev also join the fun, as we discuss Picard actually feeling like Picard again, the silliness of Vulcan gangstas, what the new "jumping the shark" is, the possible return of the Crystalline Entity, Jonathan Frakes's first, best destiny, introduce our OnlyFans, and wonder what the heck is going on in the third episode of Mando Season 3. It's as fun as when Ro Laren and Riker did it!

As Picard Season 3 wears on, Richard joins in on the fun, Sam checks in again, and everyone kind of agrees that they're sort of enjoying it, kind of? We fill Sam in on Worf and Raffi (missing from this ep), try to remember the deal with Odo's bucket, find surprising parallels with the Yuuzhan Vong (look it up!), talk Star Trek books, delve deep into the mind of dipshit from Chicago Shaw, try to figure out why the hell Picard (the show) is the way it is, and talk more Mando season 3! Stay tuned for an important public service announcement about men's health.

Barm and Kregg (Sneed is in the previously on) return for more Picard, and everyone sort of agrees that this is maybe kinda sorta an improvement on the last two episodes. Especially, a scene between Bevs and Jean-Luc has our knickers in a twist. Barm also goes off on Boomers, Jack goes off on Zoomers who don't know what Boomers are, Kregg is amused, but we all agree that Shaw is Gen-X. We still can't figure out whether Beverly is in Starfleet or not, but we do know Jack Crusher is the oldest-looking early twenty-something we've ever seen. Packs a hell of a K-O punch, though. We're all entering a nebula of alcohol though, and wondering if the whole nightmare of Picard will end up being an elaborate prank orchestrated by Moriarty. Plus, we celebrate some shocking Trek news and the return of Mando, and pray for Barm's testicle. In other words, it's just a regular-ass Jaxilly.

Ferengi expert Kregg Castillo, who is enjoying this season of Picard more than most, is back to help us figure out SNEEEEEEED, the first (speaking) Ferengi we've seen in live-action since that silly old Enterprise episode back in the day. Does he pass muster? Does WORF pass muster? Can Picard EVER get its fill of literal heads rolling? But we're also talking about a much stranger configuration of G-Unit than the one you know, really homing in on whether Jack Crusher is supposed to be annoying or not, reiterating that birds are evil, wondering what Star Trek episode is coming out when you're hearing this, and just having some fun. Things are always better when there's a Ferengi around.