Today: Joe Wicks has destroyed my bum, possibly forever, we find some escapism in the Open University, and assorted other bits and bobs. And such.

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Gregg Wallace takes us on a tour. Plus a music lesson, a royal catchup and David's Puzzle of the Day.

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A modicum of good news for you this morning - rapid technological development of a new CPAP machine to aid coronavirus patients. Plus a dancing lesson, things to do with your unwanted beanwater, and more of your blasted Jaffa Cake News.

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And other things that will have absolutely no effect whatsoever on the coronavirus. Plus, From Our Madrid Correspondent aka My Brother Joe, and TGI Flyday buzzes round again, with Dr Erica McAlister.

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Despite Rishi Sunak's pledge to find a solution for the self-employed, the building sites remain open.

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...The first one being, Don't Go To A Building Site In The Middle Of A Pandemic. PLUS: our inaugural Foreign Correspondent, an RE lesson in our NTTY Home School, which doesn't go well, and the webular debut of the thirty-year-old cassette of a band called GOOSE

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We're in safe hands. Caring hands. The caring hands of 'not a feminist' Dominic Raab. Sorry ladies. Looks like he's a man's man. In the NTTY Home School, we're learning Spanish today, and there's a new jingle for #ShowUsYourDrawers

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The millionaires who can't stop winning, even when everyone else is losing. And the Not Today, Thank You Home School is officially OPEN. Plus Patrick Moore's Feline Airlock, and how to win at virtual house parties.

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To-day we are go-ing to the shops. Mum-my wants to buy some bread. Dad-dy wants to buy some whi-sky. He is go-ing to have a right old ding-dong with the man who got the last bot-tle. Plus TGI Flyday with Dr Erica McAlister and the reveal of this week's Turn Of Phrase TM. Have a lovely weekend! .

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Today: Amol on Eastenders and Question Time, how to (and how not to) broadcast remotely, and, with self-isolation fever kicking in, we get bored and look inside each other's drawers...

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