The results of the General Election are in.

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Jake Yapp brings you a preview of tonight's election coverage, Amol Rajan explores the mysterious world of Facebook advertising, and we have some stupendous election audio from David Van Day. It's truly breathtaking. GOOD LUCK, EVERYONE.

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In which we draw back the velvet curtain and are briefly allowed a privileged glimpse into the world of PR, we hear an exclusive song from Billy Bragg, and Postman Pat gets a hell of a going over.

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After Boris Johnson attempts to trouser a journalist's mobile phone during an interview, I have some advice: Think BBC. Also: Elton John's Million Pound Piano, and Andrew Lloyd-Webber's Eurovision Entry. Plus your coach stories and confessions. Follow me on @nottodaypod on the Twitter. Morning!

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John McDonnell was on the Today programme this morning, discussing policylols with A Actual Billionaire. I applied my usual in-depth analysis to that. Incidentally, all the figures in the sketches are accurate, as far as I could research. Just saying. Plus we have some Andrew Marr fun. Plus Your Confessions, which are marvellous. If you have any more, or any fun stories about coach trips, email [email protected]. Thanks for listening, and do consider subscribing and sharing if you're enjoying the show!

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Andrew Neil challenged Boris Johnson to come and debate him on TV last night - we have some exclusive audio. Also the politician-interview tango, a second Xmas Pressie Roundup - the #BOGBANTZ continue, I'm afraid - and Geremy Wine trawls for calls...

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Morning! Today we have an exclusive extract from Richard Dawkins new webinar series, 'Phallusies', a brief snatch of Jo Swinson, and your suggestions for which Christmas song to ban. If you'd like to get in touch, it's nottodaypod on twitter, or email nottoday at swanburst dot com. Thanks!

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Radio 1 In Two Minutes, the absolute worst tat, I mean, most EXCELLENT Christmas Presents of the year, Modern Mr Men, and more horrific stories about defective Kates Bush.

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Trump is at a NATO ceremony in Watford today, and Johnson is hoping he'll keep his mouth SHUT. We have an exclusive extract from Will Self's new Radio 4 Series 'Will Self Walks a Mile', and more of your mundane dreams, defective Kate Bushes, and unheeded warnings.

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Andrew Marr interviews Boris Johnson, Nick Robinson And Garry Withersport behinds the scenes in the Today studio, and your stories about lousy bargains in #YoureTheExpert.

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