Jakin' Off

Welcome to the beginning of the end folks. This week we are joined by fan-fave, Cassie Duncan, to talk about everything, but especially the bodycam footage from Tiger Wood's arrest, Mr. Met being accused of antisemitism for hugging Zohran Mamdani, and love is love we guess. It's a total rant fest and we make plenty of hilarious jokes. Great episode.

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CPAC is back, baby! The annual gathering of the worst people our society has to offer took place in Dallas, Texas and we got all the lowlights for ya! Comedian Pat McCarthy joins the pod to dissect what some people are calling "the worst stand-up set ever witnessed by the general public" from Rob Schneider. If you're unfamiliar with Schneider's work, he's the guy who yelled "you can do it!" in all of Adam Sandler's movies, and now he cheering on ICE deportations and hangin' out with Dave Rubin.

Before all that, the fellas check out some male-on-male ASMR massage content (p*rn) that has been getting some major view lately.

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This week Madi Stancic and Reagan Rose join us take a trip to Washington DC with the Bloodstained Men, an anti-circumcision organization hell-bent on saving American foreskins. These guys are very serious and they are standing outside the supreme court with blood on their genitals. Additionally, we talk about a new gun lady and show some pretty hilarious conceal and carry content. We round it all off with a brief check-in on Mike Fedele.

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Justin Timberlake's DWI Tape has been released to the public, and Afroman has been dissing police officers that raided his home in court. Comedian J Petty joins us to unpack it all.

Turns out the person most shocked that Justin Timberlake was being arrested for DWI was Justin Timberlake himself. It might just be one of the funniest videos we will ever play on this podcast. He goes through all 12 stages of grief while being booked by police, and is shocked by the way he is treated.

While Timberlake was going viral for being booked by the cops, Afroman has been going viral for winning a lawsuit against the Adams County, Ohio Sheriff's Department. The cops allegedly stole $400 from Afroman, and Destroyed his property. In return, he wrote some truly hilarious songs about them.

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This week sees the return of our kid correspondent, comedian Max Peterson. We talk about a very interesting influencer, Chadlet Maxxing. This little guy is real teeny tiny and he really hates that about himself. We learn all about how big people got it made in the shade and walk all over the little guys, which they love.

This week we are pleased to welcome back Brittany Tilander to Jakin' Off to meet a firearm expert named Samantha Borgos. Borgos is an interesting lady that actually invented a new way to review various businesses. We do a little deep dive and watch her talk to the oldest man ever and dry fire in the parking lot of a farmer's market. There is brief discussion of Bill Clinton, Hilary Clinton, and their testimony to Congress regarding the Epstein Files (unreleased at the time of recording).

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This week sees the return of American Jidol, but with a special goal in mind: Selecting the whitest rapper on the internet. This is the single most difficult decision anyone has ever made, which is why trusted confidants and comedians Evan Goldt and Kasey Famous are back to judge. The contestants were judged based on their performance in three categories: flow, swag, and of course whiteness (on a scale from Prince Andrew-Chet Haze). The quest to find the Internet's whitest rapper ultimately led the crew on a path of self-discovery, the likes of which none of them could have imagined.

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This week Jake is joined by comedian Daniel Presley to check up on Mike Fedele. Mike wants to "save" Haiti. To do so, he is pleading with president Donald Trump to make him the ambassador to the country and to "give him a thousand Marines". His plan is to arrest everyone on-sight. We also briefly digress about a Mike Fedele simp, and you guessed it, he makes awful music.

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This week Jake is reunited with Aaron Scarbrough. They break down a video of the Vampire Landlord, Shayne McKinney, serving a 3-day notice to a tenant. They discuss Shayne's subconscious and whether he is aware just how ironic it is to be a landlord that identifies as a vampire. They also discuss the wretched disgrace of humanity, and future Kill Tony regular, Arynne Wexler. Her racism knows no bounds.

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Jake is joined by comedian Pat McCarthy to (primarily) discuss the latest round of declassified Epstein emails. Among other things, they discuss the revelations the emails provide about the manner in which powerful elites discuss and interact with one another. Humor is provided in the form of brief musical interludes and a digression about the worst security expert on the internet.

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