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Van Helsing (2004) is a movie. John is quite certain of this. He finished it — eventually — after a viewing process he described as "almost breaking" him across 2.5 days. Hugh Jackman and Kate Beckinsale fight Dracula, thousands of unexplained bat-baby offspring, Frankenstein's monster, and the concept of consistent tone, all within a single two-hour-plus runtime. The CGI is very much of its era. Dracula is played as three different characters stitched into one cape. The Vatican monster-hunting agency is a brilliant concept that goes nowhere. Hugh Jackman is completely the right casting. Kate Beckinsale is not. The friar is the only character who understands what film he's in. The Angel Gabriel twist is dropped as a single line and never revisited. The result of all this: the Film Composer Death Bracket. John is never watching Van Helsing again.

SHOW NOTES

Film: Van Helsing (2004)

Director: Stephen Sommers

Starring: Hugh Jackman, Kate Beckinsale, Richard Roxburgh as Dracula

Topics covered:

• The opening Mr. Hyde vs. Van Helsing sequence (first red flag)
• - The Vatican monster-hunting Q department — great concept, wasted
• - Dracula's performance problem (three tones simultaneously)
• - Hugh Jackman and Kate Beckinsale's notable lack of chemistry
• - The Angel Gabriel twist (mentioned once, never developed)
• - Vampire bat babies — a lore choice nobody approved
• - The friar — the only character in the right film
• - Van Helsing directly inspired the Film Composer Death Bracket

Fast Facts:

• John consumed the film across 2.5 days and nearly did not recover
• - Stephen Sommers also directed The Mummy (1999) — a significantly better film
• - "No Van Helsing" is now permanently tattooed across John's heart

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A genuine 10 out of 10 from both of them. Sleepy Hollow (1999) is Tim Burton operating at his most focused and fully-realized: a film so beautifully constructed, so committed to its atmosphere, and so perfectly cast that even its real flaws — a clunky third-act revelation, some dated CGI — barely register. Johnny Depp's cowardly, fainting Ichabod Crane is the best performance of his career: more grounded, more human, and more interesting than Jack Sparrow. Ray Park provides the Horseman's terrifying physicality; Christopher Walken provides the face. The church fence death sequence is one of the most memorable in Tim Burton's entire filmography. Danny Elfman's score — which almost lost John in the first act — earned him back completely by the end. Zac's all-time favourite Tim Burton film.

SHOW NOTES

Film: Sleepy Hollow (1999)

Director: Tim Burton

Starring: Johnny Depp, Christina Ricci, Michael Gambon, Miranda Richardson, Caspar Van Dien

Music: Danny Elfman | Headless Horseman: Ray Park (body), Christopher Walken (face)

Topics covered:

• Johnny Depp's physical comedy as cowardly Ichabod — his best screen work
• - Ray Park and Christopher Walken as the composite Horseman
• - Michael Gambon's church fence death — the film's standout moment
• - Danny Elfman's score: slow-burn effectiveness
• - The mother/witch vs. father/dogma thematic thread
• - CGI issues (the crone, the Horseman's face rebuilding)
• - Tim Burton's visual language and what makes it distinct

Fast Facts:

• Shot entirely on soundstages in England — the environment is entirely artificial
• - This is Zac's all-time favourite Tim Burton film

Follow us on Instagram: @jazmakeapodcast

Listen on Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Acast

Email: [email protected]

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On this episode of JaZ Make a Podcast, John and Zac dive into a celebration of the oft-misunderstood Star Trek V: The Final Frontier!

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On this episode of JaZ Make a Podcast, John and Zac dive into a retrospective of the career of director Ron Howard!

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