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Once upon a time there was a man named J. R. R. Tolkien, who created a magical, exciting world known as Middle Earth. We discovered this wondrous place, filled with dwarves, elves, dragons, hobbits, wizards, and some really bad creatures, through his four books: ‘The Hobbit’ and ‘The Lord Of The Rings’ trilogy.

Lucky for us, the books found their way to a creative genius named, Peter Jackson, who took us on adventure we’ll never forget.

‘The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies’ takes place 60 years before ‘The Lord of the Rings’

Here are the cliff notes without any spoilers:

The Dwarves of Erebor have reclaimed the vast wealth of their homeland known as The Lonely Mountain. Good right? Not so much. Seems the Dwarf King, Thorin Oakenshield (Richard Armitage has dragon fever. Which translated means…He’s becomes paranoid, delusional and in need of a really good anti-depressant. Even his friend Bilbo (Martin Freeman) who, in case you don’t remember from the last film, has accompanied the Dwarves on their journey, can’t get through to him. Unfortunately, Thorin’s mental state isn’t the only problem. Seems the Dwarves have inadvertently unleashed the terrifying, fire breathing and very talkative dragon, Smaug (Benedict Cumberbatch who wants to destroy anything and anyone in his path. This is a dragon with major anger issues. The first thing he does, is wipe out most of the men, women and children of Lake-Town. Luckily, a few manage to escape, including the very hot Bard (Luke Evans). At the same time all this is going on, we cut to our favorite wizard, Gandalf (Ian McKellen) who’s been imprisoned by Sauron, the Dark Lord. Good thing Gandalf has friends…And they happen to be sword wheeling, ass kicking elves…aka Elf Queen Galadriel (Cate Blanchett) and the mighty Elvenking Elrond (Hugh Weaving) to help him out.

On top of all this and most important, Sauron, the aforementioned, Dark Lord, has gathered an army of some really ugly Orcs and they are about to descend upon the Lonely Mountain, in order to engulf all of Middle-earth in darkness.. So now, the Dwarves, Elves and Men must decide to unite or be destroyed.

Of course, there’s more…much more, and you’ll just have to go see, ‘The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies’ which opens in theatres, Wednesday December 17, to find out what they are.

I gave this film 5 bagels out of 5. I absolutely loved it and you will to. Check out the video to see my own little Middle Earth type creature and for more of my ramblings.

The revolution is on!…Well not exactly. This is Hollywood after all and they’re all about ‘the money’. We all know that Suzanne Collins’ trilogy is big money. So the powers to be have decided to stretch out the last book, which means you’re going to have to wait 365 days to see the actual revolution. ‘Mockingjay’ Part One is what I’d call ‘foreplay’.

The film begins with Katniss Everdeen (the always wonderful Jennifer Lawrence) waking up in District 13. For those of you who don’t remember, at the end of ‘Catching Fire’ Miss Everdeen was whisked away from the games and taken to this hidden underground city.It’s here, where the Panem’s rebels have carved out their own ordered society. The President of District 13, Alma Coin (the always interesting, Julianne Moore) who’s so much nicer than the evil President Snow (Donald Sutherland) is looking for a human symbol to lead the uprising against the capitol. Alma is not convinced, despite the assurances of Plutarch Heavensbee (Philip Seymour Hoffman), that Katniss is the one to inspire the people to revolt. You can’t blame her really. Our heroine spends her time moping over Peeta (Josh Hutcherson) who’s being held at the Capitol along with several other tributes. Because of his videos urging the rebels to give up, everyone has marked Peeta a traitor. After Plutarch convinces Katniss that the people need her, she agrees to shoot her own videos to inspire the folks to stand up to the tyranny they’ve experienced for so long. Unfortunately, these videos show a very stiff and extremely dull Katniss. There’s only one thing to do…Take her to District 12, so she can experience first hand, the destruction that the Capitol has wrought. So along with Effie Trinket, (Elizabeth Banks) who’s in shock that her wigs and flamboyant wardrobe have been replaced with head scarves and dull grey overalls, Haymitch Abernathy (Woody Harrelson) and Heavensbee she returns to her home and sees the wasteland it has become. As Katniss walks among the dead rotting bodies, she finally comes alive and the ‘Mockingjay’ is born.

For me ‘Mockingjay’ which opens in theatres Friday November 21, 20014 just doesn’t live up to what I’ve come to expect from this franchise. The most moving moment of the film was at the end, when the credits rolled. ‘Mockingjay’ is dedicated to Phillip Seymour Hoffman. I gave this third installement 31/2 bagels out of 5.

Check out the Two Jews On Film video for more of my thoughts.

It’s 100 years in the future and things on Earth are bleak. The only crop farmers are able to grow is corn. Seriously…corn. On top of that, there are huge dust storms that occur constantly covering houses, buildings and people. Simply put…the Earth is dying.

The only hope for mankind is to find a planet which can sustain human life or we will go the way of the Snow Leopards and the Polar Bear…We will become extinct.

When ‘Interstellar’ directed by Christopher Nolan, who wrote the script with his brother, Jonathon, opens we meet farmer, Cooper (Matthew McConaughey) living with his young, brilliant daughter, Murphy ( MacKenzie Foy), his teenage son, (Timothee Chalamet) and his father (John Litgow). Murphy and her father are extremely close and she shares with him that there’s a ghost in her bedroom. She hears noises and has translated them into Morse code. They realize that someone is sending them some kind of signal. When Cooper and Murphy go to investigate the source of this anomaly, they discover, hidden away, a downsized NASA, led by scientist, Dr. Brand, (Michael Caine) and his daughter, (Anne Hathaway) Turns out Brand is Cooper’s former teacher. Imagine that.

Brand tells them that the only hope for mankind is to find a planet that can sustain life. They discovered a worm hole near Saturn, have sent ten manned crafts into it and received three messages that three planets look promising. Brand convinces Cooper, much to the dismay of his daughter, to jump on one of the ships and check them out. Of course Cooper agrees or we wouldn’t have a film. Brand sends along his daughter, as well as two other astronauts to keep Cooper company.

‘Interstellar’ which is almost three hours long, is a film with big ideas. Perhaps too many ‘ideas’ including black holes, quantum physics, Einstein’s theory of relativity, as well as the theories of Stephen Hawkings and physicist, Kip Thorne, who was an advisor on the film. But it’s not all about science. Nope, in the end, it turns out, it’s all about love. Rounding out the cast is Jessica Chastain plays Murphy all grown up is She’s become a brilliant scientist, with major ‘Daddy’ issues, working with Dr. Brand. Interstellar” which opens in theatres Friday November 7th, 2014 is a film, that in my opinion, takes on too much. I found myself at times bored, at times interested and waiting for the aliens to appear.

Unfortunately, they do not. For that reason, I gave ‘Interstellar, 3 bagels out of 5. Check out the Two Jews On Film video for more of my thoughts.

John Wick (Keanu Reeves) is the last person you would ever want to piss off. Why is that you ask? Because he is the most lethal dude on planet earth. How lethal is he? Well let’s just say, in any given moment, he can shoot, knife, and.or choke a man quicker than Rachel Ray can break an egg. Wick even has a nickname…The Boogie man.

When the film begins, we see that John is not a happy man. He is mourning his beloved wife, Helen (Bridget Moynahan) who we see in a video that John keeps playing. She recently died from leukemia. To say Helen was the love of his life is an understatement. He gave up his extremely successful hit man career for her. Helen knew John was going to be lonely when she was gone, so she arranged for a beagle puppy named Daisy to be delivered to him, along with a note imploring him not to forget how to love. Yes, this is one of those ‘Ah’ movie moments. Unfortunately, it doesn’t take long for John’s world to be turned upside down. His 1969 Boss Mustang catches the eye of a sadistic Russian creep/gangsta, Josef Tatasov (Alfie Allen). When Wick refuses to sell the car, Josef and his crew break into his house and steal it. They also beat John unconscious and do something so horrific that I had to close my eyes.

After John recovers, he is determined to get his car back and teach these bad boys a lesson they will never forget. His search for his Mustang takes him to a side of New York City that tourists never see…a hyper real, super-secret criminal community which was John’s home away from home.. After learning that his attacker is the only son of a former associate, vicious Russian crime boss, Viggo Tarasov (Michael Nyqvist), John turns his attention to vengence. As word spreads, that the legendary hit man is after his son, Viggo offers two million dollar bounty to anyone who can bring John down.

‘John Wick’ directed by former stuntman Chad Stahelski is a super violent, but super fun film. It’s filled with great fight scenes, interesting characters, including Ian McShane as Winston the owner of a club where the bad boys hang out, and Willem Dafoe (Marcus) and John Leguizamo (Aurelio).

I gave ‘John Wick’ which opens in theatres, Friday October 24, 2014, 31/2 bagels out of 5.

Check out our Two Jews On Film video for more of my thoughts.

This black comedy, directed by Alejendro G. Inarritu is one of the most brilliant, original films I’ve seen in a long time. It blew me away..

Now for the director, Mr. Inarrita…mostly known for his dark, depressing films, ‘Amores Perros’, ’29 Grams’, ‘Babel’ has written along with his three collaborators, Alexander Dinelans, Nicolas Giacobone, Armando Bo, a biting spot on satire about…Hollywood and showbusiness. Thanks to his amazing cinematographer, Emmanuel Lubezki, who manipulated the camerawork and editing to give the appearance that the film is one continuous long take, the film is absolutely memorizing at the same time.

Keaton definitely gives one of the best performances of 2014.

I gave ‘Birdman’ which opens in theatres Friday October 17, 2014 my highest bagel score…5 out of 5.

Check out our Two Jews On Film video for more of my thoughts.

‘Whiplash’ and written by directed by Damien Chazelle is definitely my favorite film of 2014. It will definitely go on my list for my top 25 films. I absolutely loved every second of it.

First the performances: J. K. Simmons, a character actor you’d recognize, if you saw him, plays Terence Fletcher, a sadistic, abusive teacher, at the number one music school in New York City, the Shaffer Conservatory of Music. He takes every opportunity to terrorize and bully his students, especially one in particular, drummer, 19 year old Andrew Neyman(the excellent Miles Teller)

Andrew idolizes Buddy Rich but wants to follow in the footsteps of Charlie Parker, who did nothing for a year but practice the sax. He also wants desperately to please Fletcher and become a member of the teacher’s respected jazz ensemble. For this reason, he keeps taking all the insults Fletcher throws at him, as well as going along with of the dude’s over the top insane demands, such as playing until your hands bleed and beyond that. But even that’s not enough to satisfy Fletcher.

‘Whiplash’ is a powerful, beautifully crafted film about what it takes to be a ‘great artist’…Actually, it’s about what it takes to be a great ‘anything’.The closing scene alone, which happened to blow my mind, and which I won’t give away, is worth the price of admission.

I gave ‘Whiplash’ which opens in theatres Friday October 10th, my highest bagel rating…5 out of 5. Love to know what you think.

Hank Palmer (Robert Downey Jr.) is a big city, high priced defense attorney who doesn’t know the meaning of ‘losing’. In fact, he’ll do practically anything to win. Hank is a master manipulator of the law and his services are available to the highest bidder…To say he’s a ‘workaholic’ is an understatement. One of the main reasons, his wife is divorcing him.

When the film begins, Hank is just about to win another big case, when he gets a call. His beloved mother has died. Hank has no choice but to return to his hometown of Carlinville, Indiana for the funeral. This is something he’s not looking forward to. He hasn’t been home in over twenty years, mainly to avoid contact with his overly critical, disapproving father, Joseph aka THE JUDGE.(the incredible Robert Duvall) But his father isn’t the only one Hank hasn’t spoken to…He’s had no contact for years with his two brothers, Glen (Vincent D’Onofrio) an ex high-school football player and his youngest sibling, mentally challenge, Dale (Jeremy Strong) Hank is definitely dreading this homecoming.

Lucky for him, the first person he sees isn’t a family member, but an old love…high school sweetheart, Sam (Vera Farmiga) She’s a big reminder of his past and what could have been.

After the funeral and getting a very chilly reception from his father, Downey can’t wait till return to his life in Chicago. Of course that doesn’t happen. If it did, we wouldn’t have a film. Sitting on the airplane, waiting for it to take-off, Hank gets a phone call telling him that…

The Judge, who has been on the bench for over 42 years, has been accused of murder.

Despite, his father protests Hank takes his case and in doing so, proves that ‘You can go home again’, but it may not be as much fun as you remember.

Everyone in the film, including, Billy Bob Thornton as Dwight Dickham, a prosecutor out to defeat Hank, is quite good, but the standout, is Robert Duvall. He gives an exquisite performance…layered…nuanced…and absolutely mesmerizing.

I gave ‘The Judge’ which opens in theatres, Friday October 10th a bagel rating of 41/2 out of 5. Of course Duvall gets a big 5.

There are many reasons to see St. Vincent, written and directed by Ted Melfi. Yes, the script/story is wonderful. It will make you laugh and probably cry. But the main reason to see this film is BILL MURRAY, who gives the performance of his career. I predict he will win the Oscar for this role.

He plays Vincent, an angry, extremely unfriendly alcoholic/gambler living in the not-so-hip part of Brooklyn. Vincent spends his days drinking, betting on horses at the local race track and having sex with a pregnant Russian stripper, Daka (Naomi Watts) whom he pays.

When the film opens, Vincente discovers to his dismay, that he has a new neighbor, Maggie (Melissa McCarthy) a single mother going through a bitter divorce. Forced to work long hours, Maggie has no choice but to find a babysitter for her 12 year old son, Oliver (the wonderful Jaeden Lieberher). Her unlikely choice, Vincent, who takes the gig because he desperately needs the money to care for his sick wife.

Despite his best efforts to keep emotionally distance from Oliver, the two of them wind up becoming unlikely friends. Vincente takes Oliver along with with him on all the stops that make up his daily routine…A strip club where Daka performs…The race track, where he teaches the kid how to gamble and what better way to end their day together, then a local dive bar.

Vincent and Oliver’s relationship is the heart of this film. It’s filled with humor and a great deal of ‘heart’. This is a film that will make you laugh and even cry. It’s that touching.

I gave ‘St. Vincent’ which opens in theatres, Friday October 10th 5 bagels out of 5. Do not miss this film.

Congratulations are due to Miss Annabelle. After her appearance in the film, ‘The Conjuring’ this over the top evil doll, now has her own movie. Hopefully, Annabelle’s new found stardom won’t go to her head.

Okay so here’s the story…without SPOILERS… Mia Form (the excellent, Annabelle Wallis) is happily married to John (Ward Horton) a medical student and they’re about to have a baby.

It’s the 70’s… Charles Manson and his Satanic cult are flashing across televisions everywhere. As only the media can do, they’re scaring people into believing that devil worship is the rage. Can you blame, Mia for being a bit worried about her safety?

But loving, sweet, kind, caring, hubby John, assures Mia that she’s completely safe. Speaking of John, even though he’s extremely busy studying for his med finals, he still finds the time to bring home a present for his beloved Mia. It’s a beautiful, rare, vintage doll dressed in a pure white wedding dress. The perfect doll to add to his wife’s collection.

Unfortunately, Mia’s joy over Annabelle, doesn’t last long. That same night, their home is invaded by members of a satanic cult, who violently attack the couple. Through a set of circumstances that I won’t go into, a drop of blood gets into Annabelle’s eyes and the devil doll, we’ve all come to know and love, is born.

Well, she’s not really a devil, but she is pretty close.

I don’t want to give anything else away so all I’ll say is that…I judge a horror film, by how many times I jump out of my chair. I jumped at least five times. This is a very scary film, but in an intelligent way.

Director, John R. Leonetti who was the cinematographer on ‘The Conjuring’ does an excellent job, at slowly building the tension, so that when it does arrive, watch out. You’ll jump too.

The supporting cast, includes award-winning actress, Alfre Woodward, who plays a neighbor and the owner of a neighborhood book store. She just so happens to know a thing or two about the occult. Tony Amendola plays Father Perez, who knows a guy who knows a guy, who knows an exorcist.

I gave ‘Annabelle’ which opens in theaters Friday October 3, 2014, 4 bagels out of 4. Check out the Two Jews On Film video for more of my thoughts as well as Annabelle’s.

Through a series of flashbacks, we see how these two budding writers, met at a party in New York City, had instant chemistry, fell madly in love and eventually married..

They live in a beautiful New York chic apartment and and have hot sex whenever and the urge hits them…(which seems to be quite often) Life couldn’t be better for the couple, until the recession and illness hits.

It’s hear that Amy starts to feel alone and abandoned and even fears for her life.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

When the film, directed by David Fincher (‘Seven’, ‘Girl With the Dragon Tattoo’, opens we meet Nick entering a bar called ‘The Bar’ and sharing a drink with the bartender/his twin sister, Carrie Coon. It’s Nick’s fifth anniversary and he’s not really looking forward to celebrating.

Nick calls the police and it doesn’t take long before the lead detective, played by the wonderful, Kim Dickens begins a full on investigation into Amy’s disappearance.

It also doesn’t take long before the media gets hold of the story. Seems Amy is actually known by the public as, ‘The Amazing Amy’ thanks to her parents successful children’s book series exploiting their daughter’s childhood.

Of course, when ever a wife goes missing, the husband becomes the prime suspect and in ‘Gone Girl’ that’s exactly what happens.

But make no mistake, this is not some ordinary thriller. This is a film that is filled with so many twists and turns that will have you guessing up to the lights come on in the theatre.

Seems Amy kept a diary and as she narrates from this book, we come to discover that Nick is not just a low key guy from Missouri, but someone with a violent streak whom she was terrified of..

It doesn’t take long for the media to turn against Nick, led by a Nancy Grace-esque talk show host (Missi Pyle) as the police investigate.

‘Gone Girl’ written by Gillian Flynn is based on her best seller novel by the same name.

The film is filled with twists and turns and just when you think you have a handle on it, along comes another very unexpected surprise.

‘Gone Girl’ also has a lot of humor, so besides being a mystery thriller it’s also a great social satire.

The supporting cast, including Neil Patrick Harris as Amy’s obsessed ,high school sweetheart and Tyler Perry as a rich lawyer that thrives on defending husbands accused of murdering their wives, work beautifully.

And then there’s Miss Pike, who absolutely steals the film. Every actress over 35 must have dreamed of playing the character of Amy. I love the fact that Fincher went for an actress that is not that ‘well-known. She kills it.

‘Gone Girl’ which opens in theatres, Friday October 3, 2014, is one of the best mystery thrillers to come a long in a very, very long time and for that reason I gave it 4 bagels out of 5..