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There are times, not many, when you sit in a theatre, the lights go down, the movie begins and you just know that you’re about to see something special and very original. In other words, you know that you are in very good hands.
That’s exactly the way I felt from the first frame of Lars von Trier’s ‘Nymphomaniac-Volume 1.
In my opinion, this is his best film or at least, my favorite. I absolutely loved this movie.
The film starts out with a man named Seligman (Stellan Skarsgard) walking home, carrying a bag of groceries. It’s nighttime and it’s raining. He comes across a woman, Joe (the extraordinary, Charlotte Gainsbourg) lying beaten and unconscious in an alley way.
He gently touches her and she opens her eyes. The man asks if she wants to go to a hospital…She doesn’t. Joe wants a cup of tea.
Joe than proceeds to tell Stellan about her life from childhood to young adulthood and through a series of flashbacks, we see just what kind of life it was.
You see, as the title suggests, Joe is a Nymphomaniac. As a child, (Ananya Berg) she started to pleasure herself on the floor of her bathroom with her best friend by her side.
As she grew older, Joe (played by first time actress, Stacy Martin) would have as many as 15 sexual encounters in one day.
Sex for Joe, was not just about pleasure…It was something she could not do without. It didn’t matter how many people she hurt, how many marriages she destroyed…She was an addict…
Why did Joe have such a profound need for sex? Maybe it had to do with her her cold, distant mother (Connie Nielsen) who would spend hours playing the game of Solitaire. Her father (Christian Slater) seemed nice enough, taking her on long walks in the woods where Joe would smell the leaves and learn the names of trees.
Doesn’t matter really. What matters is that Joe is a woman that is unable to form lasting relationships or any kind of emotional attachment. Joe also also believes that she is a very bad person, even though Seligman tells her over and over again that she’s just confused. He also compares Joe’s sexual encounters with Bach, fly fishing and higher math. In any case, Joe is a woman you can’t take your eyes off of. Her character grabs you and never lets go.
she’s also a profoundly lonely and sad woman…but ‘Nymphomaniac Volume 1 is anything but sad and that’s thanks to Von Trier’s brilliant direction and writing, The film is complex, compelling and highly erotic.
Yes, there is a lot of sex…Oral, anal, shots of genitalia… but the film is not pornography…on any level…
Rounding out an incredible cast is Uma Thurman, as a scorned wife…BYT This is Miss Thurman’s best performance in a very long time. In fact, she almost steals the film.
‘Nymphomaniac opens in select theatres, Friday March 21, 2014 and if you’re a fan of Von Trier and Art House films, this is definitely a must see.
Right off the bat I have to say that I absolutely loved this film…And if you’re wondering why…well first of all, it’s about cars…But not just any old car…This film is about hot, sexy, super fast, racing cars…
I’m talking…Muscle cars and Europeon super cars….
From America, we have Mustangs, Shelby GT500, 69 Ford Gran Torino, 68 Chevy Camaro…and from Europe…
Some of the most gorgeous cars ever made….
Lamborghinis, Sesto Elemento, a GTA Spano, a Bugatti Veyron and McLaren P1 and a Saleen 57.
Many of these rare cars, were featured in the video game that this film is based on…
But Need For Speed, directed by Scott Waugh is not just about a bunch of magnificent cars being raced around a track. There is a story and it’s a really entertaining and exciting one..
Tobey Marshall (Aaron Paul from ‘Breaking Bad’) runs his family’s auto shop and races the underground street circuit with his friends on the weekends.
Even though, he’s struggling financially, life is good for Tobey, but it doesn’t take long for all that to change.
One day, Tobey’s former nemesis, the wealthy, pompous, Dino Brewster (Dominic Cooper) stops by his garage and offers him a
once in a lifetime opportunity…To build the fastest Mustang in the world, which would give Tobey financial windfall, that he needs to save his business. So even though Tobey can’t stand Dino, he
Following the completion of the Mustang and its subsequent sale, to a big time car broker, via his beautiful, but opinionated British colleague, Julia (Imogen Poots) Dino challenges Tobey to an impromptu race which ends in disaster.
Not wanting to give too much away, I’ll just say that Tobey is sent to prison for a crime he didn’t commit.
When he gets out after serving two years, there’s only one thing our guy wants…Vengeance…And boy, does he get it.
‘Need For Speed’ is a story about friendship, loyalty, revenge and ultimately redemption.
The film was written by John Gatins and his brother George who own an auto shop in Van Nuys Califronia, where they restore classic cars and they’ve delivered a screenplay that is a character driven story set against the backdrop of street racing.
The film which opens in theatres, Friday March 14, 2014 is intense and exciting. Even if cars aren’t your thing, the relationship between Tobey and Julia is enough to keep you entertained.
I gave ‘Need For Speed’ 4 bagels out of 5. Check out our video for more of my thoughts.
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Let me know what you think about ‘Need For Speed’
‘300: Rise Of An Empire’ is shot in the same breathtaking visual style of the blockbuster ‘300’ which starred Gerard Butler a few years back.
This film, however, is not a sequel. In fact, it runs parallel to the first one, so you don’t need to have seen the first movie to follow this one.
‘300: Rise of an Empire’ is about an Athenian General, Themistokles (the very well chiseled, Sullivan Stapleton) who leads the Greek Navy against the Persian Navy, commanded by the awesomely fierce, awesomely hot, Commander, Artemisia (Eva Green)
The bloodthirsty, cunning, Artemisia who was born Green, was betrayed by her countrymen as a child, and now her only goal in life, is to wipe out every Greek on the planet. And she has the power to do so.
Besides able to decapitated a small army with one swing of her sword, she also has the help of her brother, the God-King Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro) who has very good taste in jewelry and doesn’t look to bad in a gold lame loin cloth either..
Added to the mix of warriors…is the Spartan Queen Gorgo (Lena Headey) who acts as both storyteller and leader. It’s her voice that guides us through the story.
Guess the writer, Zach Snyder, was afraid the audience was too dumb to figure out what’s going on by themselves.
For me, it was the two women, Eva Green and Lena Headey that elevated the film and kept me interested. These ladies are memorizing.
Yes, the 3D is good, but after awhile, having tons of blood, body parts and heads thrown out you, becomes a bit tiresome.
The film does have some humor that comes in a surprising way…Don’t want to spoil it, but it has to do with a visit Themistokles makes to Artemisia’s ship to talk truce, but they don’t get too much talking done.
‘300: Rise of an Empire’ opens in theatres Friday, March 8th and is based on the graphic novel Xerxes by Frank Miller.
I gave it 4 bagels out of 5 because in the end, I really did find it great fun.
There are some films that are just plain fun…Whether it’s logical or unique isn’t important. You just go along for the ride…
And NON STOP is one entertaining ride
The film, directed by Jjaume Collet-Serra (‘Orphan’ and ‘Unknown’) stars the always wonderful, Liam Neeson, as alcoholic, Federal Air Marshal, Bill Marks flying from New York to London. It’s obvious from the first scene, that this is one guy struggling with more than a few demons and things are about to get worse for him.
One the plane is in the air, Bill gets a series of text messages informing him that unless 150 million dollars is transferred into a numbered account, every 20 minutes a passenger will be killed.
Bill has to decide pretty quickly, if this threat is real. He also has decide who he can trust. Julianne Moore a fellow passenger seems the likely choice, but as it turns out, nothing is as it seems.
‘Non Stop’ is filled with twists, turns, major action, some great fight scenes and several interesting characters, including Corey Stoll as a NYPD cop, Lupita Nyong’o (’12 Years A Slave’) as a late replacement crew member and Michelle Dockery (‘Downton Abbey’) as a gusty flight attendant
‘Non Stop’ opens in theatres, Friday February 28, 2014 and for an entertaining experience, go see it.
Check out my video for my bagel score and for more of my thoughts.
2013 was one of the best years in a long time for great films and great performances…They were so great in fact, it was hard to come up with our favorites.
But we did!…Now these aren’t John’s picks, but another ‘Jew’…Marilyn, has opinions are as strong as my wonderful husband’s.
This is the year that reminded us of how cruel and ignorant us humans can be…
’12 Years A Slave’, ‘Mandela’, ’42’ and ‘Philomena’, At the same time, these films. also demonstrated the power of the human spirit, to overcome adversity and in the end, to more than prevail.
2013 was also the year of ‘heroes’. All one has to do is look at ‘Captain Phillips’ and yes. ‘Dallas Buyers Club’ who gave us a different kind of ‘hero’.
And this was definitely the year of ‘the con man’. ‘American Hustle and ‘Wolf Of Wall Street, brilliantly and humoroulsy showed us just how far people will go to ‘make a buck’.
‘Nebraska’ beautifully demonstrated that you’re never too old to dream while…
‘Gravity’ took us into space in such a realistic way that I cancelled my ticket on the space shuttle…and finally there was ‘Her’ which showed ‘Miss Siri’ that she’s not ‘all that’
As for the acting performances…
Well it doesn’t get much better than watching, the ridiculously brilliant, Miss Cate Blanchett have a nervous breakdown, Judi Dench’s pain, as she searches for a child, she was forced to give up as a teenager, Amy Adams use her sexuality to turn men’s minds to mush, the always magnificent, Meryl Streep giving us a delicious take on ‘motherly love’ and finally…
Sandra Bullock, who just wants to go home again.
As for the male performances, we have three different kinds of heroes…
Matthew McConaughley, a man slowly dying from AIDS, as he fights the unscrupulous pharmaceutical companies, and the FDA, who were slowly killing the ‘gay’ community with their deadly drugs..
Bruce Dern, a person nearing the end of his life, who’s not quite ready to pack it all in…
Chiwetel Ejofor, who despite the horrors he suffered, never lost his dignity or his hope, and….
Tom Hanks, as Captain Phillips, a man who kept his cool and saved his crew, after they were attacked by Somali pirates
And as for the aforementioned ‘con men’…Christian Bale demonstrated what we can do with only a few strands of hair and Leonardo DiCaprio, took us back to a time, when no party was complete without a ‘Lemon’ or two.
It’s hard to say, there was a ‘best’ perfromance or even a ‘best’ picture…Personally, I think that title should be replaced with the Academy’s ‘Favorite’…But in any case, it was the audience, that were the true winners. We got to experience, great films, great acting, and great times at the ‘movies’. Hopefully 2014 will be just as good.
The Oscars will air on Sunday, March 3rd 2014…What are your favorites to win?
There are so many things I want to say about this film and unfortunately, none of them are good.
‘Winter’s Tale’ written and directed by Akiva Goldsman (‘A Beautiful Mind’) is based on a 800 page novel written by Mark Helprin that was published in 1983.
The book is brilliant…The film is NOT.
In fact, ”Winter’s Tale’ is a mess. This is Goldman’s first attempt at directing and he really should stick to writing.
The movie stars Colin Farrell who plays master thief Peter Lake. We first meet him briefly in New York City in 2014.
We then flashback to 1895, where we find Baby Peter being put on a toy boat, called City of Justice, headed for New York Harbor by his immigrant parents.
Next, we flash forward twenty years later to 1918, where Peter is all grown up and on the run from from his one time mentor, Pearly Soames (Russell Crowe).
Oh I should mention that Pearly is a DEMON. That’s right folks, a full-fledged demon who apparently is very hurt that Peter doesn’t want to be part of his gang anymore.
I had no idea a demon could be so sensitive.
Anyway Peter gets cornered by Pearcy, a magical white horse with wings appears and whisks him off to safety.
But instead of riding out of town, Peter decides to rob one more house.
The house he chooses belongs to the beautiful Beverly Penn (Jessica Brown Findlay) who happens to be dying of consumption.
Instead of robbing the house, Peter winds up having tea with the lovely lady and this being a love story, falls deeply in love with Miss Penn.
How deeply you ask? Well it enables him to time travel, among other things.
What else can I say, except Will Smith plays Lucifer and has very pointy teeth.
I gave ‘Winter’s Tale’ which opens in theatres on Valentine’s Day, February 14, 2014, only two dry bagels out of 5. If John saw it, he would give it a half.
Check out our video for more of my thoughts and of course to see the magical Mango.
Well maybe not every block, but these super large killing machines, are playing a major part of law enforcement. This makes OmniCorp, the world’s leader in robot technology, very happy.
But that’s not enough for the company’s head honcho, Raymond Sellars (Michael Keaton). He wants to bring his Robotic army to the United States. Unfortunately our country isn’t very big on the idea.
That however, changes when a Detroit cop Alex Murphy (Joel Kinnaman) a loving family man with a wife Claire (Abbie Cornish) and son, is almost killed in a car explosion, set by vicious crime boss Antonie Vallon (Patrick Garrow)
Claire gives her consent to Dr. Bennett Norton (Gary Oldman) to do whatever it takes to save her husband. And that’s how Alex becomes part man/part machine…aka Robo cop.
‘RoboCop’ directed by documentary filmmaker, Jose Padilha, is a remake of director Paul Verhoeven’s classic 1987 sci-fi thriller, which was satirical, super violent and really, really good.
This ‘RoboCop’ is just, okay. There are several scenes which stand out, but overall the film felt flat and as I said in my video, why remake a ‘classic’.
The leads and the rest of the cast including, Jackie Earle Haley, who plays Mattox, a very angry, creepy dude, who trains Murphy after his transformation, Jennifer Ehle, OmniCorp’s legal counsel and Jay Baruchel are all fine, although…
…Samuel Jackson, as Pat Novak, a right wing Bill O’Reily type televison personality, is one of the most annoying character I’ve seen on screen in a long time.
I gave ‘RoboCop’ which opens on Friday, February 14, 2014, Valentine’s Day, 2 ½ bagels out of 5.
Check out our video for more of my thoughts and witty observations.
Simply put, this is a beautiful, erotic, love story…That will give you a very strong desire to eat a piece of pie.
‘Labor Day’ is directed and written by Jason Reitman (‘Juno’, ‘Thank You For Smoking’, ‘Up In The Air’) based on a novel by Joyce Maynard (‘To Die For’)
The film takes place in the 80’s over the Labor Day weekend, hence the title.
Kate Winslet plays Adele, a very lonely divorcee who lives with her teenage son Henry (Gaitlin Griffith). This is a woman that wears unhappiness on her face…She rarely goes out and when she does, it’s usually to the local market….
And this is exactly where Adele and Henry run into escaped murderer, Frank (Josh Brolin)
Frank, bleeding from a wound in his stomach with the police hot on his trail, begs Adele and Henry to help him and of course, they do.
Mother and son take Henry back to their house and to their surprise, the dude can not only bake pies, but he can do repairs, coach baseball, fix cars and yes, he is great in bed.
Needless to say Adele and Frank fall deeply in love and this weekend, will change not only their lives, but Henry’s life as well.
This is a film that I can’t imagine women not liking…That’s reason enough, for guys to see it as well…A perfect date film.
I gave ‘Labor Day’ which opens in theatres Friday, January 31st 3 1/2 bagels out of 5.
Check out our video for more of my thoughts and to meet the fabulous Noodle.
Thanks everyone and let me know what you think about ‘Labor Day’
Jack Ryan (Chris Pine) the character created by novelist Tom Clancy, is back… Yes folks, you’ve seen him before…
First our super spy was played by Alec Baldwin (‘Hunt For Red October’)… Almost forgot about this one…
Then there was my favorite Jack Ryan, Harrison Ford (‘Patriot Games’ and ‘Clear and Present Danger’) followed by my no-so-favorite, Ben Affleck (Sum Of All Our Fears’)
The next time we see him, Ryan is a Lieutenant in the Marines, sitting inside a helicopter, joking with two privates, on his way to Afghanistan… The chopper is hit and even though Ryan, sustaines grave injuries, manages to save his fellow soldiers and is declared a hero.
Jack winds up at Walter Reed hospital, where in between intense physical therapy, he meets and falls in love with his future wife, Dr. Cathy Muller (Keira Knightly)…
But it’s his encounter with CIA agent Thomas Harper (Kevin Costner) that sets his life in a totally different direction.
Jack is recruited by the CIA, to do undercover work on Wall Street, in order to spot any weird financial transactions that might be connected to terrorists… And guess what folks? That’s exactly what happens..
Ryan discovers that Victor Cherevin (Kenneth Branaugh) a very pissed off Russian, is trying to destroy the US economy, which includes a terrorist attack on our soil.
This leads Ryan to Moscow and that’s where, all the fun starts… Meaning, this is where the film grabbed my attention and pretty much held it till the credits rolled.
Yes, the film has a generic quality… You’ve seen it before and will definitely see it again, but if you’re in the mood for an entertaining spy thriller, then this is the movie for you.
The two standouts for me were Keira Knightley, doing an excellent American accent and Kevin Costner, who created a very interesting, well layerd character.
I gave ‘Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit’ which opens in theatres, Friday January 17, 2014, 3 1/2 bagels out of 5.
Check out our video for more of my thoughts and how I think John would rate this film.
Do you love Apple’s ‘Siri’? Ever thought about having a relationship with her?
Probably not, but in Spike Jonze new film, ‘Her’ set in the near future, that’s exactly what happens to Theodore Twombly, (played brilliantly by Joaquin Phoenix) a lonely, shy ma, who’s going through a painful divorce from his wife, Catherine (Rooney Mara).
Theodore works for BeautifulHandwrittenLetters.com, where he hand writes personal letters for his customers in their own handwriting.
He lives a solitary existence in downtown Los Angeles. One evening, while playing a computer game, Theodore discovers a brand new, artificial intelligence, operating system, aka (OS1 ) that promises to give a very personal connection to its user.
Without hesitation, Theodore boots up the OS1 and after filing out a short psychological profile, he’s greeted by a very friendly and very sexy, female voice, named Samantha, (voiced perfectly by Scarlett Johansson).
Samantha is designed to behave exactly like a human female…She feels and expresses an assortment of emotions…wonder, excitement, anger, passion, boredom…and even though Sam doesn’t have a body, this gal definitely has very strong sexual urges.
Samantha also has a great desire to explore the world and Theodore is only to happy to oblige. They start dating, even going on a picnic with another couple and it doesn’t take long before, Theodore and Samantha, fall deeply in love with each other.
And if you think love with a real human is difficult, well try being in love with an OS with an unlimited capacity to learn.
What’s amazing or maybe not so amazing, considering our own love for our various technical gadgets, is how accepting Theodore’s friends, including his gal pal, Amy (Amy Adams) are of his relationship with Samantha.
This unique, wonderful, quirky sci-fi romantic, fantasy, totally won me over, making it my fourth favorite film of 2013.
‘Her’ opened in select theatres, December 25, 2014 and expands nationally, January 10, 2014.
I gave ‘Her’ five bagels out of five…Of course, just like John, my guest reviewer, Marilyn, had a slightly different opinion of the film.
Check out our video to see her bagel score and for more of our thoughts.
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