In this episode I talk with veteran couples therapist Jeff Pincus about the dangers of going into full blown threat response in the couple system and how to repair things when things get ugly.

Jeff lays out the "AIR+P" repair process:

Acknowledge the behavior

Impact (name the impact your behavior has had on the other)

Regret expressed about the behavior

Plan: come up with a plan to insure this kind of behavior doesn't happen again

Jeff also explains how we are wired to do the less than loving thing in our interactions with our significant other.

Here's a little about Jeff

Jeff Pincus is an internationally recognized couple therapist, relationship coach and educator whose mission is to help couples to Love Well. He has helped thousands of couples transform their relationships in the three-day intensives and workshops he leads. He views the complex, challenging and even painful moments of intimate relationship as a potent mandate to heal, grow and do the loving thing. His work is informed by neuroscience, somatic psychotherapy, systems thinking and Tibetan Buddhism. He walks his talk, sometimes imperfectly, with his wife Rachel.

Learn more about Jeff’s work at: jeffpincus.com

Follow him on social media:

Twitter: @jeffpincus

Instagram: jeffpincus108

Facebook: Jeff Pincus