In this episode, I review an interview with a retired child abuse investigation detective who spent nine years working on some of the most difficult cases in policing.

Rather than focusing on graphic detail, this conversation is about reflection — what this work does to you, what it teaches you about trauma, and how complex child abuse investigations really are. It also raises an important question: when systems fail, is it down to bad officers, or a broken system that is underfunded, overloaded, and stretched beyond its limits?

I know many people have had terrible experiences with the police, and those experiences matter.

This episode isn’t about dismissing harm or defending institutions. It’s about trying to understand the reality of a role that involves daily exposure to trauma, limited resources, and enormous responsibility.

The aim is to encourage more informed conversations about prevention, support, and change — and to better understand what people in these roles see, feel, and carry with them long after the job ends.

This episode may be of interest to parents, educators, professionals, and anyone trying to better understand safeguarding, trauma, and the challenges faced by those working in child abuse investigations.

If you have thoughts on this topic, I encourage you to share them in the comments.

The aim is to encourage more informed conversations about prevention, support, and change — and to better understand what people in these roles see, feel, and carry with them long after the job ends.

This episode may be of interest to parents, educators, professionals, and anyone trying to better understand safeguarding, trauma, and the challenges faced by those working in child abuse investigations.

If you have thoughts on this topic, I encourage you to share them in the comments.

Below are my links

Website: https://jeremyindika.com

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast

Something to Say: https://somethingtosayofficial.com

To support

Merchandise: https://somethingtosayofficial.com

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SomethingtoSay

Donate: https://jeremyindika.com/donate/

Social media

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeremyindika/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jeremyindika1

Twitter: https://twitter.com/jeremyindika

X: https://x.com/jeremyindika

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeremy-indika-31673573/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JeremyIndika

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast

Something to Say links

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/somethingtosayofficial/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/somethingtosayofficial1

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/something-to-say1

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@somethingtosayofficial

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SomethingtoSayofficial

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast-1

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Stopping people from abusing children requires intervention long before harm is done — and long after someone has crossed a line.

In this episode, Jeremy sits down with StopSO, a UK charity specialising in therapeutic work with offenders and people at risk of offending, to explore how early intervention, behaviour change, and specialised therapy can protect children from sexual harm.

This conversation looks at what actually helps people stop, why punishment alone isn’t enough, and how prevention can reduce harm for children, families, and communities.

Antounette and StopSO bio

Antounette is Chair of StopSO, a charity offering specialist therapy to all those who have been impacted by child sex abuse. The main focus is the work with perpetrators, those representing a risk of sexual harm and those experiencing inappropriate thoughts and feelings.

This work is central to Antounette’s belief that to prevent sex abuse, we must work with those that are at risk, or who we wish would desist from this behaviour and to do so compassionately and non judgementally.

Under her chairship, the Charity has highlighted its commitment to provide therapy for survivors and all familiy members affected by abuse ,developed its work with other organisations, evolved new training for therapists in this specialist field, and launched a new approach to therapeutic intervention for those displaying sexual harm who are under 18. She is usually very busy!

After 32 years working in the Criminal Justice System as a Probation Officer, Antounette has a wealth of experience of ‘the system’s’ treatment of high risk offending behaviour, and the value of mainstream as well as more nuanced and pertinent approaches to the escalation of child sex abuse.

Antounette has previously specialised in work with violent offenders and mental health as well as running group work programmes for the service, writing Court reports and representing the Multi Agency Gang Unit in Birmingham. She retrained as a therapist when she was in her 40’s and feels privileged to have found a second career she feels passionate about.

Going forward Antounette has exciting plans to grow the work of the charity and to support this as best she can- with enthusiasm and a deeply held belief that therapy is a powerful but under supported process of change for individuals brave enough to take on the challenge of therapy.

Below are my links

Website: https://jeremyindika.com

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast

Something to Say: https://somethingtosayofficial.com

To support

Merchandise: https://somethingtosayofficial.com

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SomethingtoSay

Donate: https://jeremyindika.com/donate/

Social media

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeremyindika/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jeremyindika1

Twitter: https://twitter.com/jeremyindika

X: https://x.com/jeremyindika

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeremy-indika-31673573/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JeremyIndika

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast

Something to Say links

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/somethingtosayofficial/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/somethingtosayofficial1

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/something-to-say1

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@somethingtosayofficial

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SomethingtoSayofficial

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast-1

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

n this video, you’ll see the full recording of me delivering my primary school safeguarding session — designed especially for children in Years 3 and 4 (ages 7–9).

I wanted to find a way to teach body safety and online safety that actually connected — not just another formal talk that goes over their heads.

So, I turned safeguarding into one big game.

Together, we moved through different “levels” — learning about:

🎮 Rules that help us stay safe (Level 1)

💛 Feelings and what they tell us (Level 2)

👥 Who’s on our team (Level 3)

🗣 How to use our voice when something doesn’t feel right (Level 4)

The result?

They laughed, they learned, and they didn’t want the session to end.

Safeguarding and body safety are serious topics — but when we teach them through play, children listen.

If you’d like to see exactly how this approach works in a real classroom, this full recording shows the entire session — start to finish.

Below are my links

Website: https://jeremyindika.com

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast

Something to Say: https://somethingtosayofficial.com

To support

Merchandise: https://somethingtosayofficial.com

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SomethingtoSay

Donate: https://jeremyindika.com/donate/

Social media

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeremyindika/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jeremyindika1

Twitter: https://twitter.com/jeremyindika

X: https://x.com/jeremyindika

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeremy-indika-31673573/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JeremyIndika

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast

Something to Say links

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/somethingtosayofficial/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/somethingtosayofficial1

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/something-to-say1

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@somethingtosayofficial

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SomethingtoSayofficial

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast-1

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Links mentioned below.

The clip I reviewed - https://youtu.be/moJ59Po9aPE?si=Qj_zqt6PigsRv7Eq

The full Mikhaila Peterson podcast - https://youtu.be/4qZoJooGHfY?si=fBDmQZcopePXto8j

The Teen Corn podcast that I mentioned in video - https://youtu.be/C_enOcVeTTw?si=OKaq9gXBhIbNwV07

Why didn’t the government act sooner? For years, concerns have been raised about the easy access young people have to online porn — and the potential impact it’s having on their developing brains. Now, new laws are finally being introduced in the UK to block under-18s from these sites.

But is it too late?

In this episode, we explore:

- The psychological and neurological effects of porn consumption

- How desensitisation and escalation can lead to more extreme content

- The links between compulsive porn use and real-world harm

- Why action to protect young people has taken so long

Watch until the end as we discuss the government’s latest move and whether it can undo the damage that may already have been done to today’s generation.

What do you think — did the UK wait too long?

Below are my links

Website: https://jeremyindika.com

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast

Something to Say: https://somethingtosayofficial.com

To support

Merchandise: https://somethingtosayofficial.com

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SomethingtoSay

Donate: https://jeremyindika.com/donate/

Social media

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeremyindika/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jeremyindika1

Twitter: https://twitter.com/jeremyindika

X: https://x.com/jeremyindika

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeremy-indika-31673573/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JeremyIndika

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast

Something to Say links

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/somethingtosayofficial/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/somethingtosayofficial1

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/something-to-say1

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@somethingtosayofficial

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SomethingtoSayofficial

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast-1

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When it comes to children and teenagers, their behaviour around bodies, boundaries, and sexuality can be complex — and often misunderstood.

- What’s normal curiosity?

- What’s problematic?

- And where does it cross into being harmful or even violent?

In this episode, I sit down with Dr Jennifer Allotey, forensic psychologist and social worker, to unpack these difficult questions. We discuss:

- The Hackett Continuum: a framework used in schools and safeguarding to assess behaviour.

- Why some behaviours should be seen as developmentally expected, while others require intervention.

- The role of consent, power, and context in understanding young people’s actions.

- The influence of the internet and technology on today’s behaviour.

- How schools, parents, and communities can respond without overreacting or labelling young people unfairly.

This is a vital conversation for anyone who cares about safeguarding, prevention, and helping young people navigate healthy development.

Resources mentioned in the podcast are below.

Centre of expertise on child sexual abuse - https://www.csacentre.org.uk

The AIM Project - https://aimproject.org.uk

Shore - https://shorespace.org.uk

Dr Jennifer Allotey information

Website - http://polaris-associates.co.uk/

Dr Jennifer Allotey is a Chartered Forensic Psychologist, Social Worker and Assistant Professor in Forensic Psychology. Jennifer's career began in children and families social work, including working within the family court arena, and time spent in fostering and adoption. Within her social work career, Jennifer specialised in assessment of risk and she went on to work in specialist services including NSPCC, Lucy Faithfull Foundation, and Safer Lives. Jennifer's specialist expertise in assessment and therapeutic interventions with children led to a role as the Clinical Lead for Harmful Sexual Behaviour within a Forensic Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service (FCAMHS). Jennifer is now dual registered as a Social Worker and Forensic Psychologist, and she continues to work with both children and adults who have dispalyed harmful / offending behaviours, with a focus on sexual harm.

Jennifer's doctoral thesis explores experiences of adversity and trauma in children who have displayed harmful sexual behaviour and the focus throughout is sexual abuse prevention. Jennifer's research make recommendations for practice to support all professionals in their role in the prevention of child sexual abuse. Alongside her clinical practice, Jennifer provides consultation, supervision and training to professionals and delivers teaching as an Assistant Professor in Forensic Psychology at the University of Nottingham.

Below are my links

Website: https://jeremyindika.com

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast

Something to Say: https://somethingtosayofficial.com

To support

Merchandise: https://somethingtosayofficial.com

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SomethingtoSay

Donate: https://jeremyindika.com/donate/

Social media

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeremyindika/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jeremyindika1

Twitter: https://twitter.com/jeremyindika

X: https://x.com/jeremyindika

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeremy-indika-31673573/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JeremyIndika

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Bonnie Blue has built a huge following — and makes over £1 million a month — by leaning into schoolgirl and “barely legal” fantasies. But why are these themes so popular, why do they spread so easily on social media, and what does her success say about us as a society?

In this episode, I explore:

- How Bonnie Blue “cracked the code” of algorithms

- Why outrage and support both fuel her rise

- The dangers of normalising virginity and “barely legal” fantasies

- What this means for young people seeing her content online

- Why platforms suppress survivor stories but let this go viral

This is not about shaming anyone's decisions — it’s about asking the bigger question: what can we learn from Bonnie Blue’s rise, and what does it reveal about our culture today?

Below are my links

Website: https://jeremyindika.com

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast

Something to Say: https://somethingtosayofficial.com

To support

Merchandise: https://somethingtosayofficial.com

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SomethingtoSay

Donate: https://jeremyindika.com/donate/

Social media

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeremyindika/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jeremyindika1

Twitter: https://twitter.com/jeremyindika

X: https://x.com/jeremyindika

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeremy-indika-31673573/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JeremyIndika

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast

Something to Say links

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/somethingtosayofficial/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/somethingtosayofficial1

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/something-to-say1

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@somethingtosayofficial

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SomethingtoSayofficial

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast-1

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, I speak with Dr. Angela Tan about how to talk to children and young people about their bodies, consent, personal boundaries, and safety. It’s an honest, respectful, and practical conversation to help parents, teachers, and anyone working with children feel more confident navigating these tough — but essential — topics. Because if we don’t talk to them, someone else will… and that person may not have their best interests at heart.

Dr. Angela Tan is a family physician, sexual wellness specialist, and Medical Director of Reiwa Health, with over 16 years of experience in both medical practice and professional coaching.

As a parent herself, Angela understands the emotional complexities of raising tweens and teens. She has conducted sex education workshops in schools and coached parents on how to talk about growing bodies, emotions, and relationships with confidence and care.

Her work goes beyond information-sharing—Angela helps parents build trust and emotional safety through vulnerability, so they can stay connected to their children through every stage of adolescence. She believes that meaningful sex education starts with honest conversations at home, where kids feel seen, safe, and supported.

Dr. Angela Tan's links below.

Website: www.reiwahealth.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-angela-tan/

Insta: https://www.instagram.com/reiwa.apt/

Below are my links

Website: https://jeremyindika.com

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast

Something to Say: https://somethingtosayofficial.com

To support

Merchandise: https://somethingtosayofficial.com

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SomethingtoSay

Donate: https://jeremyindika.com/donate/

Social media

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeremyindika/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jeremyindika1

Twitter: https://twitter.com/jeremyindika

X: https://x.com/jeremyindika

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeremy-indika-31673573/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JeremyIndika

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast

Something to Say links

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/somethingtosayofficial/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/somethingtosayofficial1

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/something-to-say1

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@somethingtosayofficial

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SomethingtoSayofficial

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast-1

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This convicted child abuser speaks openly about what makes a child vulnerable to abuse - and I don’t think you’ll be surprised.

Because deep down, these are all things that we already know - but make us feel uncomfortable to face.

I don’t want to give this man praise, but he is giving us something truly valuable here and I don’t want you to miss it - especially if you have children yourself.

Below are my links

Website: https://jeremyindika.com

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast

Something to Say: https://somethingtosayofficial.com

To support

Merchandise: https://somethingtosayofficial.com

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SomethingtoSay

Donate: https://jeremyindika.com/donate/

Social media

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeremyindika/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jeremyindika1

Twitter: https://twitter.com/jeremyindika

X: https://x.com/jeremyindika

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeremy-indika-31673573/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JeremyIndika

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast

Something to Say links

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/somethingtosayofficial/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/somethingtosayofficial1

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/something-to-say1

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@somethingtosayofficial

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SomethingtoSayofficial

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast-1

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

YouTube link - https://youtu.be/yDLzgpEbGOA

What do you say to a room full of 13-year-olds about abuse, secrets and speaking up?

In this powerful live talk, I speak directly to Year 8 students about how abuse often doesn’t look like violence — and why speaking up matters. Using real-life stories, questions, and interactive moments, this session helps young people understand grooming, recognise their own coping mechanisms, and feel more confident asking for help.

This video isn’t just for students — it’s for the adults who care about them. Whether you’re a parent, teacher or survivor, you’ll walk away with a deeper understanding of how to talk to young people about abuse in a way that’s honest, clear and age-appropriate.

Below are my links

Website: https://jeremyindika.com

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast

Something to Say: https://somethingtosayofficial.com

To support

Merchandise: https://somethingtosayofficial.com

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SomethingtoSay

Donate: https://jeremyindika.com/donate/

Social media

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeremyindika/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jeremyindika1

Twitter: https://twitter.com/jeremyindika

X: https://x.com/jeremyindika

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeremy-indika-31673573/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JeremyIndika

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast

Something to Say links

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/somethingtosayofficial/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/somethingtosayofficial1

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/something-to-say1

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@somethingtosayofficial

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SomethingtoSayofficial

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast-1

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Links I've mentioned in the podcast below.

1. What Is Harmful Sexual Behaviour?

NSPCC Learning – https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/child-abuse-and-neglect/harmful-sexual-behaviour

CSA Centre – https://www.csacentre.org.uk/resources/key-messages/harmful-sexual-behaviour/

Lucy Faithfull Foundation - https://www.lucyfaithfull.org.uk/harmful-sexual-behaviour.htm

2. The Continuum of Sexual Behaviours

NSPCC – https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/media/2522/harmful-sexual-behaviour-framework.pdf

Hackett’s Continuum (via ICMEC Guide) - https://www.icmec.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Hackett-Continuum.pdf

Queensland Health – https://www.childrens.health.qld.gov.au/wp-content/uploads/PDF/hsc-sexual-behaviours-traffic-light-guide.pdf

3. 🧒 Age-Appropriate Sexual Behaviour

Stop It Now – https://www.stopitnow.org.uk/concerned-about-a-childs-sexual-behaviour/

HealthyChildren.org – https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/preschool/Pages/Sexual-Behavior-in-Young-Children.aspx

Raising Children Network – https://raisingchildren.net.au/guides/a-z-health-reference/sexual-behaviour-children

4. 🚨 When to Be Concerned

NSPCC – https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/research-resources/leaflets/harmful-sexual-behaviour

NCSBY Fact Sheet - https://www.ncsby.org/sites/default/files/Problematic_Sexual_Behavior_Fact_Sheet.pdf

PCAR – https://www.pcar.org/sites/default/files/pages-pdf/Understanding_Childrens_Sexual_Behavior.pdf

5. 🛠️ Responding to HSB

NSPCC – https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/child-abuse-and-neglect/harmful-sexual-behaviour/responding-to-hsb

Lucy Faithfull Foundation – https://www.lucyfaithfull.org.uk/advice-for-professionals.htm

In this episode, we explore a difficult but essential topic: harmful sexual behaviour (HSB) among minors.

Using real-world examples, expert-backed definitions, and resources from trusted organisations (like the Lucy Faithful Foundation, NSPCC, and the Centre of Expertise on CSA), we break down:

- What HSB actually is

- The traffic light continuum: green, amber, red behaviours

- Age-appropriate vs. concerning behaviour

- Red flags to look out for

- How to respond – as a parent or professional

Whether you're a teacher, social worker, or parent, this episode will help you better understand HSB, avoid panic, and respond with confidence, calm, and care.

Watch/listen and learn how to assess situations and take action that protects children — not punishes them.

📌 Resources mentioned in this episode are linked in the description.

🔔 Don't forget to hit the bell to be notified when new episodes drop.

💬 Leave a comment – your thoughts matter and might help someone

#HarmfulSexualBehaviour #SafeguardingChildren #ParentingPodcast #CSAprevention #JeremyIndika #SomethingToSay

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.