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In Day 132 of the Mussar Masterclass (p. 746 in the Orchot Tzadikim, Gate of Flattery), Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe explores permitted and forbidden forms of flattery (Chanufah). He begins with the positive: one should "flatter" one's wife to preserve shalom bayit—genuinely compliment her cooking, appearance, and character (not lying, but finding and highlighting her unique beauty and goodness, as every person has redeemable qualities viewed through the right lens). This extends to rabbis flattering students to encourage Torah learning, acceptance of rebuke, and mitzvah observance; creditors to ease pressure; and anyone influenceable toward good—using pleasant, positive words to open hearts rather than harsh confrontation, which often fails in our generation.
The episode contrasts this with forbidden flattery: validating the wicked (even for personal gain), excessive courtesy that implies approval, or building false trust to later exploit (genevat da'at – stealing the mind, e.g., pretending interest as a customer for air conditioning). Flattery closes doors of teshuvah by reinforcing evil without shame, brings divine wrath, blocks prayers, and perverts justice (e.g., lawyers overly friendly with judges). Rabbi Wolbe stresses strategic positivity (e.g., spotlighting a troubled student's strengths like tree-climbing to rebuild self-worth) while warning against neutrality toward sin—stand for Hashem's honor, distance from mockers of Torah, and avoid environments that normalize negativity.
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This Podcast Series is Generously Underwritten by Peter & Becky Botvin
Recorded at TORCH Centre in the Levin Family Studios (B) to a live audience on January 12, 2026, in Houston, Texas.
Released as Podcast on March 11, 2026
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This series on Orchos Tzadikim/Ways of the Righteous is produced in partnership with Hachzek.
Join the revolution of daily Mussar study at hachzek.com.
We are using the Treasure of Life edition of the Orchos Tzadikkim (Published by Feldheim)
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Listen, Subscribe & Share:
Share your questions at [email protected] or visit torchweb.org for more Torah content.
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About the Host:
Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe, Director of TORCH in Houston, brings decades of Torah scholarship to guide listeners in applying Jewish wisdom to daily life. To directly send your questions, comments, and feedback, please email: [email protected]
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Support Our Mission:
Our Mission is Connecting Jews & Judaism. Help us spread Judaism globally by sponsoring an episode at torchweb.org.
Your support makes a HUGE difference!
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Listen More
Other podcasts by Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe:
For a full listing of podcasts available by TORCH at http://podcast.torchweb.org
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Keywords:
#JewishInspiration, #Mussar, #MasterClass, #Flattery, #Chanufa, #Praising, #Rebuke, #LashonHara, #StandUpForTruth, #Ramchal, #ZealForTorah
In this continuation of the Gate of Flattery (Sha'ar HaChanufah), Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe examines the seventh component: the sin of abstaining from rebuke (tochacha) when one knows the community or individuals are "stiff-necked" (k'shei oref) and unlikely to listen. While it's a mitzvah not to reprove a mocker who will hate you (per Proverbs), one must not assume failure without trying—perhaps the words will penetrate and inspire change. Even righteous people were punished in the Temple's destruction for not rebuking when possible. Silence can imply agreement, especially when hearing lashon hara, profanity, or mockery of Torah/mitzvot; one should speak wisely or zealously defend Hashem's honor (as in Ramchal's Mesilat Yesharim, Ch. 19), showing love for God by hating His enemies and subduing evil influence.
Rabbi Wolbe stresses strategic rebuke—knowing the person (e.g., parents sometimes achieve more by silent example than words), avoiding unnecessary hatred, and recognizing when flattery or excessive courtesy to the wicked is forbidden (except out of real fear for safety). He cites Mordechai's refusal to bow to Haman as exemplary: as leader, he could not validate evil, even for peace. Neutrality or honor toward the wicked (e.g., praising them or being overly cordial) validates sin and risks personal corruption through constant exposure. The episode urges vigilance in environments, friendships, and leadership roles—stand up for truth, defend God's honor, and avoid isolation in negative circles.
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This Podcast Series is Generously Underwritten by Peter & Becky Botvin
Recorded at TORCH Centre in the Levin Family Studios (B) to a live audience on January 12, 2026, in Houston, Texas.
Released as Podcast on March 10, 2026
_____________
This series on Orchos Tzadikim/Ways of the Righteous is produced in partnership with Hachzek.
Join the revolution of daily Mussar study at hachzek.com.
We are using the Treasure of Life edition of the Orchos Tzadikkim (Published by Feldheim)
_____________
Listen, Subscribe & Share:
Share your questions at [email protected] or visit torchweb.org for more Torah content.
_____________
About the Host:
Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe, Director of TORCH in Houston, brings decades of Torah scholarship to guide listeners in applying Jewish wisdom to daily life. To directly send your questions, comments, and feedback, please email: [email protected]
_____________
Support Our Mission:
Our Mission is Connecting Jews & Judaism. Help us spread Judaism globally by sponsoring an episode at torchweb.org.
Your support makes a HUGE difference!
_____________
Listen More
Other podcasts by Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe:
For a full listing of podcasts available by TORCH at http://podcast.torchweb.org
_____________
Keywords:
#JewishInspiration, #Mussar, #MasterClass, #Flattery, #Chanufa, #Praising, #Rebuke, #LashonHara, #StandUpForTruth, #Ramchal, #ZealForTorah
In this episode, Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe shares a short & sweet idea of inspiration on the special Shabbos of Parah, the Shabbos that served as a reminder for the Jewish people to repent and purify themselves before the upcoming holiday of Passover.
This Jewish Inspiration Podcast by Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe of TORCH (Ep. #168) is dedicated my dear friend, Marc Schneider! May Hashem bless you and your beautiful family with good health, success and true Yiddish Nachas!!!
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To listen to other podcasts by Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe: https://linktr.ee/ariwol
Please send your questions, comments and even your stories to [email protected]
Please visit www.torchweb.org to see a full listing of our Jewish outreach and educational resources available in the Greater Houston area and please consider sponsoring a podcast by making a donation to help support our global outreach at https://www.torchweb.org/donate.
Thank you!
For a full listing of podcasts available by TORCH at https://www.TORCHpodcasts.com
Recorded in the TORCH Centre - Studio B on March 6, 2023, in Houston, Texas.
Released as Podcast on March 9, 2023
In this episode, Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe shares a short & sweet idea of inspiration on the power of the month of Adar, the month of joy, happiness and good fortune for the Jewish people with festivities and celebrations of our saving from the hands of our enemies.
This Jewish Inspiration Podcast by Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe of TORCH (Ep. #160) is dedicated my dearest friends, Peter Botvin and his incredible wife, Becky! May Hashem bless you and your beautiful family with good health, success and true Yiddish Nachas!!!
Recorded in the TORCH Centre - Studio B to a live audience on February 2, 2023, in Houston, Texas.
Released as Podcast on February 3, 2023
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DONATE to TORCH: Please consider supporting the podcasts by making a donation to help fund our Jewish outreach and educational efforts at https://www.torchweb.org/support.php. Thank you!
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SUBSCRIBE and LISTEN to other podcasts by Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe:
For a full listing of podcasts available by TORCH at https://www.TORCHpodcasts.com
_____________
EMAIL your questions, comments, and feedback: [email protected]
_____________
Please visit www.torchweb.org to see a full listing of our outreach and educational resources available in the Greater Houston area!
In preparation for the upcoming festival of Purim, the TORCH Rabbis and Podcasters gathered together in the TORCH Centre to discuss the upcoming days of Joy & Connection. Each of us shared an idea about Purim and how to make the most of these days. If you want to experience a convivial, collegial, conversation about Purim with the Podcasters of TORCH, now is your chance.
Featured in this episode: Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe, Rabbi Yaakov Wolbe, Rabbi Chaim Bucsko and TORCH President, Dan Kullman.
This Jewish Inspiration Podcast (Ep. #162) is dedicated in honor of our dear friends and neighbors, Barry & Monica Finberg, who have been such incredibly dedicated friends of TORCH for many years! May Hashem continue to bless you with great health and success in all your endeavors.
Recorded in the TORCH Centre - Studio B to a live audience on March 12, 2024, in Houston, Texas.
Released as Podcast on March 14, 2024
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DONATE to TORCH: Please consider supporting the podcasts by making a donation to help fund our Jewish outreach and educational efforts at https://www.torchweb.org/support.php. Thank you!
_____________
SUBSCRIBE and LISTEN to other podcasts by Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe:
For a full listing of podcasts available by TORCH at https://www.TORCHpodcasts.com
_____________
EMAIL your questions, comments, and feedback: [email protected]
_____________
Please visit www.torchweb.org to see a full listing of our outreach and educational resources available in the Greater Houston area!
In this episode, Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe shares a short & sweet idea of inspiration on the holy days of Purim. The fast of Esther, the Day of Purim and the four Mitzvahs of the day.
This Jewish Inspiration Podcast by Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe of TORCH (Ep. #164) is dedicated my dear friend, Danny Katz, who shared and enlightened me with the thought from the Lubavitcher Rebbe! May Hashem bless you and your beautiful family with good health, success and true Yiddish Nachas!!!
Recorded in the TORCH Centre - Studio B to a live audience on March 2, 2023, in Houston, Texas.
Released as Podcast on March 6, 2023
_____________
DONATE to TORCH: Please consider supporting the podcasts by making a donation to help fund our Jewish outreach and educational efforts at https://www.torchweb.org/support.php. Thank you!
_____________
SUBSCRIBE and LISTEN to other podcasts by Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe:
For a full listing of podcasts available by TORCH at https://www.TORCHpodcasts.com
_____________
EMAIL your questions, comments, and feedback: [email protected]
_____________
Please visit www.torchweb.org to see a full listing of our outreach and educational resources available in the Greater Houston area!
Discover the hidden depths of the Purim celebration and enrich your spiritual journey. Unlock the profound mysteries and mitzvahs of Purim, ensuring you don't feel like you're leaving spiritual fulfillment on the table. Journey through the vibrant customs and acts of giving that transform this holiday from a mere ritual into a heartfelt connection with the divine.
We'll explore the delicate balance between charity and Matanot La'Evyonim, the gifts to the poor that hold unique spiritual significance. Learn how sending gift baskets and embracing the festive spirit can lead to profound personal growth and a deeper relationship with God. By shedding light on the symbolism of Purim and the concept of divine orchestration, we promise you'll see the holiday in a whole new way, much like a masterful piece of art that reveals its layers upon closer inspection.
Finally, embrace the peace and joy that come from understanding Hashem's guiding hand in every aspect of life. By letting go of ego and self-reliance, you can find relief from life's stresses and anxieties. Through personal stories and timeless wisdom, discover how the essence of Purim and the Megillah can illuminate your path, helping you become a vessel for divine light and wisdom. Join us and transform your experience of Purim into a meaningful journey toward spiritual clarity and fulfillment.
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Recorded from a live audience presentation in the TORCH Centre - Levin Family Studios (B) in Houston, Texas on March 11, 2025.
Released as Podcast on March 12, 2025
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DONATE to TORCH: Please consider supporting the podcasts by making a donation to help fund our Jewish outreach and educational efforts at https://www.torchweb.org/support.php. Thank you!
_____________
SUBSCRIBE and LISTEN to other podcasts by Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe:
NEW!! Prayer Podcast: https://prayerpodcast.transistor.fm/episodes
Jewish Inspiration Podcast: https://inspiration.transistor.fm/episodes
Parsha Review Podcast: https://parsha.transistor.fm/episodes
Living Jewishly Podcast: https://jewishly.transistor.fm/episodes
Thinking Talmudist Podcast: https://talmud.transistor.fm/episodes
Unboxing Judaism Podcast: https://unboxing.transistor.fm/episodes
Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe Podcast Collection: https://collection.transistor.fm/episodes
For a full listing of podcasts available by TORCH at https://www.TORCHpodcasts.com
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EMAIL your questions, comments, and feedback: [email protected]
Please visit www.torchweb.org to see a full listing of our outreach and educational resources available in the Greater Houston area!
_____________
#Purim, #MatanotLa'Evyonim, #ego, #anxiety, #stress, #humility
In this episode, Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe shares five short & sweet ideas of inspiration on the special and holy day of Purim.
This Jewish Inspiration Podcast by Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe of TORCH (Ep. #48) is dedicated my dear friend, Dr. Leonard Goldberg! May Hashem bless you and your beautiful family with good health, success and true Yiddish Nachas!!!
Recorded in the TORCH Centre - Studio B on February 24, 2021, in Houston, Texas.
Released as Podcast on February 24, 2021
_____________
DONATE to TORCH: Please consider supporting the podcasts by making a donation to help fund our Jewish outreach and educational efforts at https://www.torchweb.org/support.php. Thank you!
_____________
SUBSCRIBE and LISTEN to other podcasts by Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe:
For a full listing of podcasts available by TORCH at https://www.TORCHpodcasts.com
_____________
EMAIL your questions, comments, and feedback: [email protected]
_____________
Please visit www.torchweb.org to see a full listing of our outreach and educational resources available in the Greater Houston area!
In this episode of the Jewish Inspiration Podcast, Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe shares a profound insight on Parshas Tetzaveh, inspired by a D'var Torah from Rabbi Blachman (Jerusalem). The Parsha describes the High Priest's vestments twice mentioning the names of the 12 tribes: once on the Choshen (breastplate) with individual stones over the heart, and again on the Avnei Shoham (shoulder stones of remembrance). Why the duplication? The sages explain it as a model for every Jew, especially the Kohen: the heart must first hold deep love and concern for every fellow Jew (as exemplified by Aharon, the ultimate lover and pursuer of peace – ohev shalom v'rodef shalom), feeling their pain and joy internally. But love alone is insufficient; the shoulders must carry their burdens – sharing grief, challenges, and responsibilities as one's own ("you're my brother, you ain't heavy").
Rabbi Wolbe illustrates this with stories: Aharon reconciling disputants through empathy; Reb Chaim Shmulevitz's Yom Kippur teaching that one who hasn't lost sleep over the Jewish people's spiritual/physical plight has no business praying; feeling Hashem's "pain" over estranged children; carrying joy (dancing alone for a distant student's wedding); and practical empathy (e.g., yellow ribbons for hostages as reminders to feel others' pain). He stresses avoiding desensitization in a news-saturated world, pursuing peace without quarrels (a Kohen in conflict couldn't serve), and living beyond oneself – feeling others' burdens while maintaining joy (as the Shechinah rests only in simcha). The episode ends with a discussion on positive communication (e.g., the Still Face experiment, praise boosting performance) and responding to children's needs through listening rather than waiting for tantrums.
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This Podcast Series is Generously Underwritten by Peter & Becky Botvin
Recorded at TORCH Centre in the Levin Family Studios (B) to a live audience on February 27, 2026, in Houston, Texas.
Released as Podcast on March 2, 2026
_____________
Listen, Subscribe & Share:
Share your questions at [email protected] or visit torchweb.org for more Torah content.
_____________
About the Host:
Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe, Director of TORCH in Houston, brings decades of Torah scholarship to guide listeners in applying Jewish wisdom to daily life. To directly send your questions, comments, and feedback, please email: [email protected]
_____________
Support Our Mission:
Our Mission is Connecting Jews & Judaism. Help us spread Judaism globally by sponsoring an episode at torchweb.org.
Your support makes a HUGE difference!
_____________
Listen More
Other podcasts by Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe:
For a full listing of podcasts available by TORCH at http://podcast.torchweb.org
_____________
Keywords:
#JewishInspiration, #Parsha, #Tetzaveh, #Choshen, #Shoham, #Aharon, #Shalom, #CarryTheBurden, #KlalYisrael, #PursuePeace, #Empathy, #OneNationOneSoul, #JewishUnity
In this Jewish Inspiration Podcast episode (Day 130), Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe continues the Gate of Flattery (Chanufa) from Orchos Tzaddikim, detailing the profound dangers of associating with or validating the wicked (resha’im), even without direct praise.
Key teachings:
The rabbi urges: begin at home, expand responsibility outward, and live with self-awareness—true greatness is selflessness and influence through example, not ego.
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This Podcast Series is Generously Underwritten by Peter & Becky Botvin
Recorded at TORCH Centre in the Levin Family Studios (B) to a live audience on January 5, 2026, in Houston, Texas.
Released as Podcast on February 20, 2026
_____________
This series on Orchos Tzadikim/Ways of the Righteous is produced in partnership with Hachzek.
Join the revolution of daily Mussar study at hachzek.com.
We are using the Treasure of Life edition of the Orchos Tzadikkim (Published by Feldheim)
_____________
Listen, Subscribe & Share:
Share your questions at [email protected] or visit torchweb.org for more Torah content.
_____________
About the Host:
Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe, Director of TORCH in Houston, brings decades of Torah scholarship to guide listeners in applying Jewish wisdom to daily life. To directly send your questions, comments, and feedback, please email: [email protected]
_____________
Support Our Mission:
Our Mission is Connecting Jews & Judaism. Help us spread Judaism globally by sponsoring an episode at torchweb.org.
Your support makes a HUGE difference!
_____________
Listen More
Other podcasts by Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe:
For a full listing of podcasts available by TORCH at http://podcast.torchweb.org
_____________
Keywords:
#JewishInspiration, #Mussar, #MasterClass, #Flattery, #Chanufa, #Praising, #Wicked, #Honoring, #Truthful, #Speech
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