JJAB BUZZ

William High Eagle Sandoval is an experienced Substance Abuse Prevention Specialist, Colorado Addictions Counselor CACIII, Youth Resource Specialist, behavioral health program manager, nationally known speaker, trainer, consultant, Certified Life Coach and Internet entrepreneur.  William has been working with children and families for thirty-seven years starting in 1984 at Ft. Logan Mental Health Center in Denver. Colorado.  William created his own his own non-profit in Denver, the Southwest Family Resource Center, one of seven pilot projects started in 1994.  He moved to Taos in 2004 and worked for Casa De Corazon as the Treatment Foster Care Coordinator.  Two years later he became the Chief Executive Officer.  Retired in 2007, he came out to build programs for Teambuilders Counseling in Espanola and Los Alamos until 2014.  He came to JJAB in 2015.

Luke Eigelbach is a Kentucky native who spent a year living in Portland, Oregon, before moving to Los Alamos last September. Luke has been lucky to have a varied career that has moved between working in the arts as an actor, writer, costumer, and improvisor, and in social work as a Community Supports Specialist, Job Coach, Compliance Specialist, and now, as Resource Assistant at JJAB. Luke is passionate about creating a more equitable world through anti-racist and LGBT centered practices, both in his work as an artist and through social supports. Luke is incredibly excited to be a part of the JJAB team, and can’t wait to get to know the Los Alamos community better. In his spare time, Luke can be found reading, hiking, drinking way too much coffee, and hanging out with his cats, Eddie and Geraldine.

JJAB Fall 2020 Preview

* We will be resuming the know your resource speciliast segmant with all new interviews.

*New segments Know your school couneslor with interviews with middle school and high school counselors.

* New community conversations will continue chatting with high school students about  their perspectives surrounding community issues.

As always, we will continue to provide you with the most current information.

Todays  audio thought by Stephen Fry reading a letter from E. B. White to a gloomy fan

In 1973, more than two decades after a young woman wrote to Albert Einstein with a similar concern, one man sent a distressed letter to E.B. White (July 11, 1899–October 1, 1985), lamenting that he had lost faith in humanity. The beloved author, who was not only a masterful letter-writer but also a professional celebrator of the human condition and an unflinching proponent of the writer’s duty to uplift people, took it upon himself to boost the man’s sunken heart with a short but infinitely beautiful reply, found in Letters of Note: Correspondence Deserving of a Wider Audience (public library) — the wonderful collection based on Shaun Usher’s labor-of-love website, which also gave us young Hunter S. Thompson on how to live a meaningful life.

White’s missive, penned on March 30, 1973, when he was 74, endures as a spectacular celebration of the human spirit:

As long as there is one upright man, as long as there is one compassionate woman, the contagion may spread and the scene is not desolate. Hope is the thing that is left to us, in a bad time. I shall get up Sunday morning and wind the clock, as a contribution to order and steadfastness.

Sailors have an expression about the weather: they say, the weather is a great bluffer. I guess the same is true of our human society — things can look dark, then a break shows in the clouds, and all is changed, sometimes rather suddenly. It is quite obvious that the human race has made a queer mess of life on this planet. But as a people we probably harbor seeds of goodness that have lain for a long time waiting to sprout when the conditions are right. Man’s curiosity, his relentlessness, his inventiveness, his ingenuity have led him into deep trouble. We can only hope that these same traits will enable him to claw his way out.

Hang on to your hat. Hang on to your hope. And wind the clock, for tomorrow is another day.

Sincerely,

E. B. White

JC TEST

Community conversations with William High Eagle Sandoval and Los Alamos High School Student

Why I want to implement this in my life

Always do your Best

I can’t lie, this agreement was by far the hardest to conceptualize. I had so many intriguing thoughts and felt engagement to all the other agreements, but with this one my mind felt blank. I don’t want to make assumptions, but I can only assume that I had such a difficult time with this agreement because it's the one that's most difficult for me in practice. It’s cheesy isn’t it? The same quote we’ve heard countless times throughout our lives. Since we were young people always say to always do your best. This got me wondering, what is my best? Obviously I’m the only person who could know if I’m doing my best or not but I don't know what my best is. Is it the best result or the most effort? As a professional procrastinator I often put things off until the last minute and then don’t have enough time to do my best. But when I do the best work I could in the time frame I unfortunately gave myself, is that my best? See what I mean? How do I do my best when I don’t know what my best is? 

From what I’ve seen from my peers in Los Alamos, I highly doubt I’m the only one who feels this way. In my experience this town is a very polarizing one. There is nothing to do for teens, so pointless drama is no foreign concept to us. We’ve never had to do our best because what is there to focus all that energy on? I shouldn’t say we, but I know this applies to someone other than myself. I don’t mean to go off topic but when researching this agreement I couldn’t help but think there's no outlet for me to pour my energy into. I’ve found myself heavily relying on others because there's nothing I enjoy doing on my own. I think this is a huge reason I don’t know the meaning of doing my best. 

Although this agreement is the most vague it is exactly what ties the agreements to each other. Repetition is the best way to learn and get better at something. Using that logic doing your best at something is through repetition until it's mastered. That's the idea behind this agreement following the other agreements. If you practice these agreements repetitively they will become simpler to do. The more comfortable you are with the agreements the more comfortably you can practice them successfully. I believe the reason Don Miguel Ruiz chose this agreement as the last one is because it’s the answer to competently be able to perform the rest of the agreements.

These agreements aren’t stone cold rules, and aren’t always going to be easy or even possible to do. That being said, keeping them in the back of your mind, and using them to simplify conflict is exactly what The Four Agreements is intended to do. I’ve learned a lot from researching these agreements. It has completely changed the way I view mindfulness. I hope that after learning about these four “rules” to life you think about the way you carry yourself. I can promise I’m going to try my best to implement these into my daily life and I hope you do the same. 

Don’t make Assumptions

We all know what they say about making assumptions...if you don’t I’m sure you still can agree that assuming things without knowing the whole truth is silly. Making assumptions is an easy thing to do because most of the time we don’t realize we're making them. Personally, out of every agreement I want to implement this one is my life the most. I catch myself making assumptions about people I’ve never met before, yet getting upset when the same is done to me. Rumors are a huge part of making assumptions. We hear things about other people and just deem the information as true. Rumors are so easy to spread because no one cares enough to check to see if it’s true. I’m sure every person out there who has made it passes middle school knows what it’s like to have rumors spread about them. We hate it when people make assumptions about us, so what right do we have to make assumptions about them? This agreement goes deeper than just rumors and drama. We shouldn’t assume anything; people, the news, politics, celebrities, any information we don’t know for a fact is true. 

The most important thing I hope you take from this agreement is not everyone has the same information or knowledge as you. We can’t always assume someone is going to know what we're talking about, or what we mean by the words we say. I’ve talked a lot about miscommunication on this podcast. The reason being, I think the most important tool we have to maintain healthy relationships (romantically or platonically) is communication. If you’re unsure of something, ask! If you hear a rumor and don’t know if it's true, don’t talk about it! Constantly making assumptions is exactly what makes the media such a toxic thing. People will see or hear a story and believe it because they saw it on a news source. There are so many non reliable sources we listen to and take at face value. I don’t want to get into politics or anything sensitive like that, but a great tip to be sure you're getting reliable information is just to check several different sources. Simple as that! Now that's all good and well with the media, but it's not that simple for things you hear about people. So my tip in that regard is don’t believe and especially don't spread anything you hear about someone if it doesn’t come from them. Also, just don’t talk about issues that don’t concern you. Gossip and rumors have a funny way of getting back to the person, so just be cautious of what you say. One might even say...be impeccable with your words. 

Practicing this agreement successfully is essential to not take things personally in my opinion. Without all the information we make inaccurate assumptions, and that could lead to getting needlessly defensive. I saw this with several of my closest friends a few years ago. Because of a rumor, my friends claimed that they knew I was saying bad things about them, when I really wasn’t. They heard a rumor, made an assumption and acted irrationally because of it, They got offended and upset at me because of inaccurate assumptions and this unfortunately led to a falling out. I’ve also hurt people because of the assumptions I’ve made. I find that after making assumptions people are quick to take those assumptions personally. The worst part is a majority of the time, we don’t even realize we’re doing this. Being aware of assumptions you make and having the mental strength to disregard those assumptions is the best way I’ve found to practice this agreement. 

Don Miguel Ruiz wrote a book called the Four Agreements entailing a few rules that enable a simpler, happier life. These Agreements include; be impeccable with your words, do not take anything personally, do not make assumptions, and always do your best. Now, we will be taking a closer look at the first agreement, be impeccable with your word. I’m sure most of you are thinking “What does that entitle?” To understand this better, here are a few quick definitions. Impeccable means faultless or flawless. Alright, but how can we be faultless with our words? This is where things get tricky. When I first read this agreement I thought “word” was literal, however, “word” is intended to mean our expressions, our thoughts, the energy we use to communicate with others and ourselves. That is a little broad, so now we can break it down. First, let's discuss how we can be impeccable with spoken words. Imagine if every word you spoke casted a spell. Positive words manifested positive outcomes, and negative words a negative outcome. This sounds crazy until you think about theories like the Law of Attraction. The theory states that positive and negative thoughts will lead to similar outcomes because thoughts are energy which is transferable. I am willing to admit that I have started educating myself on this subject recently. For more information please look to more reliable sources. That being said, personally, I believe in manifestation from our thoughts and words. It’s really all the same concept as karma (good and bad) or jinxing something. We have seen this same idea several times, but in practice this agreement is much more difficult than it sounds. If we use our words to spread positivity then positivity will come back to us, simple as that. Now, the complicated part is understanding how do we do that with our thoughts? We cannot really control what we think, right? Wrong. It’s all about mentality. We, as a society, have continuously undermined the power of our mind. We have so much control over ourselves, but get so distracted trying to control things we never could control to begin with. Trying to direct someone's thoughts or actions is pointless, so we must save that energy for what is in our power. It takes time and practice to have mindfulness, but if there is anything you take from what I say I hope it's this: do not waste time trying to fix other people. Use that same time and energy into promoting healthy life habits for yourself, both mental and physical. 

Self love is essential and we cannot love ourselves until we know ourselves. That might sound disjointed from the topic at hand, but having that mindfulness and that self love is ultimately what will make this agreement possible. When you have a positive mindset problems are much easier to overcome. A positive mindset does not mean only thinking and speaking of things that make you happy. Looking at problems in yourself and your life and trying to tackle them is also positive. Simple behaviors like that can completely change your view of the world, in my experience at least. Of course, all of this is simpler said than done. Being aware of these agreements and having them in the back of your head can make a world of difference. Now then, to talk about our actions. Thoughts and words are ultimately meaningless if your actions do not back them up. The funny thing about words is they are very easy to believe, but not mean. It is much easier to say you will do or change something, but the follow through is what makes those words fact or fiction. I often find myself saying all these changes I am going to make to my life, but my actions don’t follow suit. For example, all summer I’ve been saying how I’m gonna start working out or eating healthier. It’s an easy thing to say, but actually do? That's where I (and many others) struggle. Next time you make a statement like that, take a second to think.

Hi JJAB listeners,

This is Santina Shije with parenting tip #2.

Create a positive support system for each individual in the family. This can be done digitally or In-person

This support system can include:

Friends/Family

Mentors

This will allow your children to:

Have an outlet

Have new experiences

It may take some time to set appointments/intakes and in the long run be a true support and allow parents/caretakers to refill their cup.

Our RS’s are always available to help coordinate these services an individual may need.

Thank you for listening and tune in again.