Episode #225: In this third part of the ongoing discussion with Jonathan Crowley, we delve deeper into his experiences as an Assistant Teacher in the S.N. Goenka tradition of Vipassana meditation. Jonathan starts off by saying how he was moved by his appointment as an assistant teacher, but also candidly describes how aspiring teachers learn the importance of feigning disinterest, creating a false ego around the process.

Jonathan then reflects on the weight of officially representing the organization, and how he grappled with the unspoken messaging behind its mission. He notes a paradoxical dynamic where Goenka shunned the title of guru publicly, while the culture within the organization promotes him as the unquestioned authority.

As Jonathan delved deeper into his practice and examined the organization's modus operandi, he began to see the “trojan horse” nature of the ten-day course format. By this, he means that it attracts students with open-handed encouragement and says they their own masters, yet funnels them into increasingly narrower scopes as they commit to the organization.

Despite deriving many transformative benefits from the practice, Jonathan started feeling the weight of the excessive faith expectations. He realized how storytelling and mythmaking play a crucial role in reinforcing this faith, and closing off avenues for questioning and critical thought.