Jump Start Your Joy®

Sign up for "Three Joyful Things" Newsletter on my website.

Oren Jay Sofer is a communication expert and mindfulness teacher at Spirit Rock in Woodacre, California. He recently wrote the book "Say What You Mean: A Nonviolent Approach to Communication," and I'm delighted to have him as a guest on the podcast.

In this episode, Oren and I talk about:

-Mindful communication

-That language is an inherited phenomenon

-How to stop ruminating over anger when you are upset

-The work of Marshall Rosenberg around non-violent communication

-Active listening and how to build understanding in communication

-His thoughts on how to Jump Start Your Joy: find ways to be kind and generous, attune to beauty, connect to meaning and purpose, and play more

Resources

Say What You Mean: A Nonviolent Approach to Mindful Communication by Oren Jay Sofer (on Amazon)

Oren Jay Sofer's Website

Sign up for Oren's class that starts October 17, 2019

Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg

You can find the full show notes by clicking here.

In this episode I talk about: - Joy being a choice - Akashic Records - The releasing practice that I followed over the summer - Being a "Full Stop Change Agent" - Realizing the large role that choice plays in my life every day - Choosing to let go of alcohol - Choosing to address trauma in my life - How my husband and I chose to let go of the Story that "the other shoe was about to drop at any time" - How my husband and I have chosen to try on new ways of communicating with each other, by working through Oren Jay Sofer's book together - The role of curiosity and care in our communication - My increase in clients that are a perfect match since I went through the practice of releasing what was no longer serving me - The increase in joy in my life

Sign up for "Three Joyful Things" on my website.

Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Non-Violent Communication by Oren Jay Sofer The Akashic Records She Podcasts Live 2019

Click here to get email notifications for each episode.

Show Notes:

Jess Ekstrom is the energetic CEO and founder of Headbands of Hope, and the developer of the Mic Drop Workshop. I had the pleasure of meeting Jess in Atlanta last year, and knew from the moment she shared the mission of her company (and it only further made me love her when she quoted Will Ferrell) that I wanted to talk to her more, and to have her on the show.

Jess Ekstrom and I talk about:

• Her earliest sparks of joy: food, and going on a scavenger hunt for a new skateboard that had her name spray painted on it
• How she started Headbands of Hope
• The insights she learned working for Make a Wish, and having met the owner of Toms shoes as she was creating her company
• Sometimes the things that are most earth shattering and game changing are the simplest
• How to get to inspiration from frustration
• Her Mic Drop workshop, and how it fills the need of having more women speakers at conferences and conventions
• Why we both love Will Ferrell and how we feel that he creates connection with others through humor
• What schools and parents can do to provide children with a more well rounded point of view and better life skills
• Her upcoming book, which is due out in November 2019
• How to jump start joy in your life: unplug: remove yourself from the screen, play more, and develop a writing habit

Resources Jess Ekstrom's Headbands of Hope website Jess Ekstrom's Mic Drop Workshop website

This week on the show, I'm taking a look at how I grew my business while working a 9 to 5 job. I'll walk you through the inspiration, intention, and actions I took, and share reflections on how you can use these same tips to start or grow your own business.

Resources Do a Ten in Three. The Power of Intention by Wayne Dyer Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown

Kelly Denithorne is an educator, transgender advocate, and the blogger behind "Unordinary Style." Kelly started her blog in 2010, and began it as a place to explore with her love of style while she was exploring women's fashion. Born as a male, Kelly tried on several different titles for herself, from transvestite, to cross dresser, and then to transgender non-binary. In the last year, Kelly has begun teaching in her middle school as a woman, and has started the process of transitioning.

In this episode, Kelly Denithorne and I talk about:

• Her earliest sparks of joy, hanging out with her sister
• Her experience of growing up as a male, and the confusion that she experienced around having unidentified gender variance
• Being a teacher, and transitioning from dressing as a male to dressing female this school year
• Seeking therapy with someone who specializes in gender variance
• The reactions of her students and parents to her presenting as a woman
• Her path to discovering her true self
• The role being a fashion blogger played in her journey
• Her inspiration in starting to take on speaking opportunities
• How to jumpstart your joy: learn to accept who you are and how you work with it, sharing your story, and always be humble enough to learn

Resources Kelly Denithorne's blog: Unordinary Style Kelly Denithorne's Speakering Website How to Create Cleavage, as found on Kelly's blog Kelly (as Nadine Spirit) on Instagram Jessica Lynn's website

Stasia Savasuk is an amazing style coach, has an outstanding Tedx Talk, and is the founder of Stasia's Style School. She's joining me on the show, and I'm delighted to share this interview. We giggled our way through our discussion, and had a hilarious time talking about style, what lights us up, how to find what kinds of styles fit YOU, and, all about Stasia's inspiring story of becoming an entrepreneur.

In this episode, Stasia and I talk about:

• Her early entrepreneurial work as a child, collecting and selling worms
• How she broke up with style, and wore very bland clothing for many years
• That one size fits all is bullshit
• How to discover style that works for you and reflects who you really are
• How to get in touch with who you really are
• What it looks like to belong to yourself
• How her differently abled child has taught her so much about inside out congruency
• Her thoughts on how to jumpstart your joy: asking yourself how you want to show up, don't participate in body shaming, and getting outside

Resources Stasia Savasuk's website Stasia on Instagram

This week, two big things hit me at once: the joy that comes naturally to children, and the Netflix special with Brene Brown, where she talks about the vulnerability that adults experience around joy, making it THE most vulnerable of emotions. What gives?

The quick synopsis? Over time, we're conditioned to be cautious with our emotions, and we build up self doubt. What does it look like when you are wrangling a slow build up of self doubt?

Eventually, this can lead to much of what many of us spend so long trying to unwind as you get into your adult life:

• Feeling like you are "too much" or "not enough"
• The impact of mean girls on your life
• Imposter syndrome, or, feeling like you're a fraud and people are about to find out that you don't know what you're doing
• The "who am I to?" question that inner critics love so much
• Inner critics
• Resistance
• Feeling like you're out of control
• Not trusting yourself to make decisions
• Confidence
• Self – image: how you dress and see yourself

The good news? Once you recognize that you are missing joy, you can find your way back to it.

• Choose joy, daily. Own that you want more joy in your life, and aim for joy, as a "wayfaring" emotion.
• When you feel yourself in that space of being excited and terrified about trying something new, lean in to that. It's leading you back to a place that feels joyful to you. Don't let the old conditioning of shying away from excitement or something new stop you.
• Schedule time for joy in your life. Look for places you've always wanted to visit, but haven't. Return to places that have brought you joy. Make space in your schedule to do something joyful, for the sake of joy. Remember, if it's not on your calendar, it's not going to happen.
• Think back to what brought you joy as a child. So many guests on the show find that there is a strong tie to whatever they loved as a child in their present life.
• Some thoughts on the top things guests suggest to jump start joy in your life: hang out with animals, do something creative, get in touch with nature.
• Brene Brown found that people who have a gratitude practice, and who believe in a higher power in the universe, are often those who are more likely to be joyful. Try listing or noticing what you're grateful for each day.
• Catch yourself if you hear yourself spreading "shoulds" or conditioning that is limiting how someone else experiences joy for themselves.
• Do something that surprises or delights someone else.
• Let joy be important to you.

Resources

Brene Brown: the call to courage on Netflix Kennolyn Camps

The Inspiration of the Four Golden Insights

I truly enjoyed getting to speak with Jonni, and felt myself sinking into the conversation in a deep way. One of the most inspirational parts of the discussion for me was when we walked through the Four Golden Insights, which are the pillars for the work Jonni does.

1. Life is Sacred
2. Love is our Nature – we serve, nature, and find connection
3. Wisdom is our Power – Jonni talks about finding the intelligence of love, and reconciling the appearance of resistance and opposites.

• We also talked about "embodied leadership power, which equals the ability to influence the environment around us."
• Wisdom can enliven and awaken the truth of who we are

4. Fulfillment is our Purpose – we find our purpose by fully understanding who we are

Jonni Pollard and I talk about:

• His earliest sparks of joy as a child – playing with other kids, playing games, and any kind of games where he could evolve and find excitement
• Being a multipassionate, where he reflected that he felt that the many different things he enjoys in his life are all just different ways that his soul and purpose is revealing itself
• The filters that we use from the outside looking in, and how it changes the way we see ourselves
• The desire of creative beings to become expressive
• Our conditioning as children and the pervasive ideology that we learn as young people
• How adopting and conforming to social ideals causes immense suffering
• The four golden insights that set the pillars for the Golden Sequence
• What happens when energy does not flow naturally
• The dissonance that fear creates
• Why we need to connect to our purpose and our humanity
• Jonni's thoughts How to Jump Start Your Joy: wake up and connect to the world around you, meditate for success and to affirm your humanity, and to show your best connected self to whomever you first have contact with in the morning

Resources

Jonni Pollard's website

The Golden Sequence by Jonni Pollard on Amazon

1 Giant Mind Podcast

1 Giant Mind App

In Part 2 of the Season 4 Finale, host Paula Jenkins counts down the top ten most downloaded episodes. Listen to short clips from Jonni Pollard, Stasia Savasuk, Jess Ekstrom, Sharon Prentice, and Renee Linell and hear the favorite solocasts, too.

To get links to all of the episodes, click here.

In Part 2 of the Season 4 Finale, host Paula Jenkins counts down the top ten most downloaded episodes. Listen to short clips from Jonni Pollard, Stasia Savasuk, Jess Ekstrom, Sharon Prentice, and Renee Linell and hear the favorite solocasts, too.

To get links to all of the episodes, click here.