Why Do I Overthink Everything?

Why does your mind replay conversations, search for certainty, and circle the same question without ever reaching an answer?

In the first episode of our Overthinking Series, Dr Kumari explores why overthinking happens, the difference between productive reflection and rumination, and how repetitive thinking can become the mind’s attempt to protect us from uncertainty.

It is important to acknowledge the pioneering work of clinical psychologist Professor Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, whose research explored rumination as one important, changeable pathway in understanding women’s greater vulnerability to depression.

Plus, download the free One-Minute Overthinking Check-In to practise noticing the loop without judging yourself: https://justaminutewithdrkumari.substack.com/p/why-do-we-overthink?r=5fseg6&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

A Father’s Day bonus episode

Why can our dad’s opinion still matter so much — even when we’re well and truly grown up?

In this special Father’s Day episode of Just a Minute, Dr Kumari Valentine explores how our relationships with our fathers can shape the way we see ourselves, seek approval and respond to criticism.

We look at the small messages we absorb in childhood — about achievement, emotions, being “good enough” and what we need to do to feel accepted — and how these can sometimes show up later as perfectionism, people-pleasing, self-criticism or overthinking.

This isn’t an episode about blaming fathers. Some dads loved through words; others through providing, fixing, teaching, showing up or simply doing the best they could with what they themselves had been given. We can understand a father’s story and still acknowledge what we needed.

And because this is Just a Minute, there’s a gentle one-minute practice at the heart of the episode:

What did you most need to hear from your dad?

And what might change if you began offering yourself a little more of that message now?

Father’s Day can hold love, gratitude, grief, disappointment and complicated feelings — sometimes all at once. This episode makes room for all of them.

🎁 Free companion reflection: The Words I Needed to Hear

https://justaminutewithdrkumari.substack.com/p/just-a-minute-bonus-episode-fathers?r=5fseg6&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

And if needing other people’s approval tends to leave you replaying conversations, second-guessing yourself or wondering whether you’ve done enough, stay with me. We’ll be exploring overthinking — and what actually helps — throughout the next episodes of Just a Minute.

Small moments can make a meaningful difference. ❤️

After quite a long pause, a new season of Just a Minute with Dr Kumari is here.

We’ll be exploring overthinking, the invisible load, deeper self-care, the nervous system, our inner critics, relational wounds and the complicated realities of being human.

Each episode will offer something to understand, something small to try and a question to take with you—because meaningful change doesn’t always require an uninterrupted hour or a perfect routine.

Sometimes, it can begin with just a minute.

Psychological science—with a little bit of magic. ✨

The free download I mentioned to help with Returning to yourselves is available here: https://tinyurl.com/ReturnToOurselves

The 90 Card Card Deck is available [limited supplies]: https://www.kumarivalentine.com/shop

This Valentine’s Day, Just a Minute with Dr Kumari invites you to turn your attention inward and practice deep self-love. In this episode, I explore how to hold your inner child, vulnerable self, and past and future selves with compassion. I released my first digital journal and colouring book based on my self care cards: https://kumari.gumroad.com/l/nurture

In this episode I talk about

What deep self-care and self-love really mean

How to acknowledge and soothe the parts of yourself often overlooked

Practical journalling and colouring exercises from my new book, Nurture Your Inner Self

Ways to show kindness to yourself, even if Valentine’s Day feels difficult or brings up challenging emotions

Whether today is joyful, bittersweet, or hard, this episode offers a gentle, practical pause—a chance to breathe, reflect, and nurture the most important relationship you have: the one with yourself.

In this episode we talk about overwhelm, stress, the invisible load of mothering and the role that progesterone can have on working memory. 

In this gentle and grounding episode, Dr Kumari Valentine shares the Just a Minute Manifesto—a compassionate philosophy of healing through micro-moments of self-connection. Rooted in trauma-informed mindfulness, this episode explores how just one minute can reconnect us with our body, our breath, and the parts of ourselves that need care. You'll be invited into reflection, regulation, and a quiet rebellion against burnout culture. A soothing listen for anyone craving deep self-care, one deliberate minute at a time. 

In this episode I talk about Dissociation and introduce the idea of the Dissociation Thermometer I developed this week. You are welcome to download it and use it. Please share:

I had planned to talk about this at a later point, but recent events have caused me alarm. The Minister for Mental Health (NZ) revealed on Tuesday that the government is developing Associate Psychologist Scopes of practice, with the help of the Psychologists Board in NZ. The proposed pathway means that people with a basic undergraduate degree (where there is no clinical or hands on training) would do a one year training and then be registered health professionals, Associate Psychologists. Amongst the many issues of harm to the public, including that the vulnerable public might not know what an Associate vs Clinical or Registered Psychologist is, is the erosion of one of our foundations of practice - the Scientist Practitioner Model. In this podcast, I talk about the importance of the Scientist Practitioner Model to Psychology.

Can the way we eat affect how stressed we feel? The Christmas or holiday season is typically associated with a variety of stressors. In this episode with award winning chef and author, Bridget Foliaki Davis, we talk about gut health, stress, and eating. Bridget has some amazing tips to eat better this season in order to really nourish you and manage stress better. 

Bridget has TONS of free resources. She also has a transformative 28 day boost camp: https://bridgets.shop/

Free resource from me about 5 strategies to soothe the nervous system and proactively manage stress? Here is a PDF with audio guide I put together.

Want to do a deeper psychological dive into a Stress Less Christmas? https://payhip.com/b/Ixcvg

Low or depressed mood affects EVERYTHING. I am a clinical psychologist with almost two decades of clinical experience as well as previously having been a researcher and lecturer in psychological science. In this episode, I share some evidence based tips for lifting low mood or maintaining mood. The awful thing when you feel low is that it feels like "this is it"! It isn't! You can improve your mood.

Stress also affects mood. Would you like some additional quick strategies to help soothe the nervous system, decrease stress, and feel better? download at: https://drkumari.ck.page