Just Be Yourself

"ALASKA!" "Yeah girl. . . Alaska!" 

Alaska is not the first destination people think of for the holiday's. If anything "Christmas in Alaska" is the butt of the joke! But listen, don't jokes and the fear of sticking out stop you from experiencing new adventures. There is so much world to see and even more to learn. On December 20th I travelled to Alaska to visit my mom and 2 little brothers in Southern Alaska. I know, I know. . . I have family out there too!! Yes, and they are living their best lives (even while your reading this!)

In this episode I will dive into my time while in Old Harbor, Alaska! A small village at the end of a mountain where land meets sea. Basically, an island crafted by many mountain with a village right against the water. The land is a combination of mountain and ocean with a vibrant and  Native American community. Down-to-earth people, great views, and family made Old Harbor the perfect place to be. Tune in to hear my as I share my Christmas in Alaska travel experience!

Do you guys remember how you felt during COVID! Especially during the holiday season! Its didn't feel right. .  its just felt wrong to be celebrating but also like we should be because were still alive! Everyone was on the same page, that things just felt off! But this year if a whole other story, because there is so much to be grateful for and now we realize those who have left us in the previous years wouldn't want us to sit around and mop. But to be up and dancing, laughing with friends, visiting family, having ourselves a good-ol time with the ones we love while we can!

This year, I felt all the love around Thanksgiving! I mean, being surrounded by family members you actually like will do that to ya! Tune in as i reflect and share my joy during the beginning of this joyful season! We're having full circle moments around here ya'll! But also, if I'm being honest with myself, this year hasn't been easy. .  but I am grateful to be here. So if you haven't had the best of times this year as well, or are still going through it now. . I see you! As hard as it is try to focus on the good in your life, the positive moments (no matter how small) and let those moments guide you during these times. 

Now the real highlight of this episode was realizing I am NOT ready for a relationship! No ma'am, no spam, no green-eggs-and-ham! I clearly have attachment issues and through the episode have noticed they subconsciously spilled over into my friendships and how I perceive them. At one point, it felt like I was truly comfortable with being alone, but as great friendships have formed, my own habits have changed. Now it feels like my friendships are at a crossroads between their newly established boundaries and my previously established expectations. Something has to change, so grab your wine and join me as I navigate these thoughts!

Have you ever had a friend that places so much weight on the friendship you have to take a step back? Yeah! 

Well, I think I'm that friend! *face palm*

GIRLLLLLL!!!! Not let me tell you something! We can not put a "bad hangout" all on the other person! Sometimes it is truly us that is the problem and in this case, it was definitely me. . . To a certain degree! I mean the guy did think I was a lesbian, so there's that. . . 

Join me as I recap a really awkward night that has lots of potential to turn into something more! When testing chemistry there is bound to be a few weird moments or hiccups in finding the one for you. So I won't be too hard on myself because I went in wanting to get learn more about who I am in these situations. That said, sit back, relax, and tune in for the most awkward episode of Just Be Yourself!

Yeah, I really did that. . . and I have no problem doing it again! As they say "Closed mouths don't get fed!" 

In general, I have never had a problem with making the first move with a guy (when the rejection level is low)! Meaning, if I feel the person may genuinely be interested in me. . . then back up because I sliding into their DM's. But don't get me wrong it's not for everyone but for ME, I would rather be the girl sitting at the bar politely introducing herself than the one looking down at her drink and waiting for someone to approach her. The amount of confidence you have to build is heavy and must be able to withstand rejection! That said, I clearly DON'T have it all figured out but, in general, being willing to put yourself out there opens you to more opportunities than you could ever imagine!

Now here's the kicker. . . he lowkey ghosted me! I'm telling you right now, NO ONE wants to feel that way. Luckily I had a healthy distraction (vacation) and did not notice until I was back in town. Therefore, when sitting down to talk through my thoughts I started to analyze my communication styles within my friendships. Join me as I realize how much of a needy friend I am! 

Now let me tell you something! New York is lowkey where it's at! The fashion, the networking, and the events are literally better there. It's like everyone around you is just as serious as you are and if you find the right people your life can change (positively) forever! My first time in NYC did not disappoint, and I am so grateful to Claire and Malahani for inviting me to celebrate and to the other girls who each contributed to the positive vibes! 

I feel like every time I go on a vacation/trip I have a breakthrough moment. . . anyone else? So my goal in life is to create experiences where breakthrough moments are a natural occurrence and to eventually live where it always feels like I'm on vacation! Embracing who I am and becoming solid in how I choose to present myself, regardless of others' judgments. This is definitely no easy feat but the more I love on myself, the more confidence I build in my personal identity. 

Now as far as New York, the biggest things holding me back from making it a home (maybe for a year or two) are the cost of living and the constant worry of having something negative happen to me. Tune in as I share my experience and deep into my relationship with the city!

Despite what we know to be true, our minds can play tricks on us by taking relatively normal actions and causing us to second guess them. Our subconscious thoughts take over our actions, leading us to connect dots that we normally would not. In my case, twice, I walked away from a group of people feeling like I was just not being myself. Angry or annoyed, there was a lapse in the mindset that caused me to doubt my character. 

It is a challenge not to allow the doubt of others effect you. What's funny (in a twisted type of way) about the encounters, is when no one speaks up or comes to your aid the feeling of loneliness creeps up. Making the mind to believe that it's because you were wrong. . . and that's just not the case! It's a working challenge for me not to allow the confusion of others to affect what I say, but I'm definitely getting better at it. . .  because if I don't speak up who will? If I don't express myself then others may not feel comfortable doing so either! 

Join your host Jailyn Gales as she recounts and connects those situations. It's time for a brain dump!

"Just Be Yourself!" - That's a lot easier said than done! If we're being honest with ourselves, it takes work to show up confident and secure in our actions. Someone said, "the most confident person in the room will always influence others." I interpreted this to mean, "to remain true to ourselves, we have to be confident in ourselves! If not, then we are likely to be subconsciously swayed by others who do not truly align with us." That said, the easiest thing for you to do is continuously try to show up and Just Be Yourself!

Join your host Jailyn Gales as she navigates what those steps look like and keeps it real along the way!

This episode is a continuation of the previous one Angry Black Woman. We are diving into the Bystander Effect to discuss ways in which we can authentically show up for others despite the opinions of others! But highkey, I had so many updates for you guys! So many side stories are taking place, so join me as I share how I am navigating through them! From friendship to boys to standing on your morals, let's chat babes! Ooooo that being said, how do we feel about your names being "the babes"? Its kinda cute, right? 

Separately but additionally, if you want to view some of the videos from previous episodes check them out on my YouTube channel at @hyperactivevibes! Enjoy the episode and see you Live Monday on Instagram.

Just like Jailyn's budget, this episode is a little sporadic! Let's be honest, for most of us, our 20s are the cheapest time period of our lives before children, mortgages, etc.! So think about it this way; the freedom to just be yourself applies to finances as well. Jailyn believes you can save for the future and enjoy the current moments if you get realistic about your goals and create a plan that works for you (and it's okay if it changes)! So don't sweat the small things save up for them!!

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